Fellow nairalanders,my elder sister got pregnant at the age of 18 while in secondary school(1997 to be precise).my parents got wind of the preg when it was three months plus and the guy who was responsible ws called upon.my mum wanted to abort the pregnancy,but his parents were against d idea.to cutshort d story,my sis later gave birth to a bouncing babyboy.she later got admitted into d university.after graduation,she got married to another man.since 2005,the boy has living wit me and my parents n I re try our best to make him happy.(my parents normally pay his fees,but I do assist sometimes).the father of d boy is a working class;he neither assist financially nor call to ask after him.I so much hate him wit passion.I don't y he is avoiding his responsibility.I feel so upset whenever I think about it.I am planning to send the boy to him but on a second note,I don't think he will b able to take proper care of the child cos he is stil single.For him mind he don catch us mugu abi?pls advice me on wat to do cos d way i dey vex now,make I nor strangle him neck anytime i see am.

I am sorry for d incönviniency.I dont know y my post appeared threetimes.

What is your sister doing? I don't know if there are family courts in Nigeria, where the couple come into agreement for child support. I think you should look into that.

Y is d boy living with u? Are u married? I think you should take dat boy to his mother for proper care. Ur sister should b d one fighting d boys father and not you. If u strangle him becos of d hate u feel for him,my dear u will end up in jail. I can understand y u feel so bad but if ur sister isnt showing so much concern then u dont av much say cos i still dont understand y ur sis is living with her husband now without her son,or is she hiding it from for her hubby? Or maybe there is more to dis dat u avnt said.

taryour: Y is d boy living with u? Are u married? I think you should take dat boy to his mother for proper care. Ur sister should b d one fighting d boys father and not you. If u strangle him becos of d hate u feel for him,my dear u will end up in jail. I can understand y u feel so bad but if ur sister isnt showing so much concern then u dont av much say cos i still dont understand y ur sis is living with her husband now without her son,or is she hiding it from for her hubby? Or maybe there is more to dis dat u avnt said.

her husband is aware,bt he simply don't want to accomodate d little boy.yes,I am married(got married last yr).I would n't hav accomodated him,but for my sister'plea.naturally,I so much dis little boy cos d bond b/w us is so tight. Bt my fear is dat make one hi diot nor come for future say:yeah,I need my son.pikin wen u nor know as him take dey survive;common pant u nor fit buy.Me go just chop am raw like Niggaraw.

Op, I understand ur plight. Don't send the boy back to his mom. He's probably getting all the love he'll get in his life from you now, and if his mother's husband doesn't want him, pls keep him. God will bless you. And pls, never paint his father to him in a bad light. If he's not doing anything now, he'll do it later and if he never does, that's his biz! He'll come for his son one day, and if he doesn't, the boy has to decide what he wants when he's old enough. But whatever it is you decide, don't let that boy out of your loving sight!

I'm just wondering why u guys did not insist on his parents catering for the boy since they insited on ur sis haveing him?

blank: I'm just wondering why u guys did not insist on his parents catering for the boy since they insited on ur sis haveing him?

the guys'parents re poor n mine live in a small town in Edo state(middle class n nor b village sha).y me I just dey one city unto work things.it was the quest for a good education that prompt me to take child in.my friends even thinks d little boy is my son cos of d way I take gudcare of him.thanks to my wife cos she is an understanding soulmate.but above all,I dey vex d father because he nor dey show concern in anyway.the ist time he visited his little boy,he gave him the sum of #500 n I was about to ask d guy:guy u nor get shame/concience?but I kept mute n was just staring at him.

nobi small thin ooo,mother marry anoda man wen no want her son,4 house well, my dear, pls take good care of the boi.Op
u are complainin abt the alrdy low life man,what abt his mom its clear to everybody that,her hubby s most important,to her than her baby

I blame the woman for all this troubles, a man rejected ur son nd u agreed to that cos of marriage. As i am now with my two beautiful kids nd a man comes for marriage, he is going to marry all of us cos my kids re very important to me. @ op take keep on taking care of the boy, God will see u thru nd thank GOD for ur wife. Daalu.

Earnestly, am touch by ur story. Pls don't send d boy to the father or anyway. U've been doing it for 15yrs, u don't need to complain now dat u're about to reap what u sow. Continue without complain and God will bless u and even d boy won't forget u in life.

U might think d son's father takes u as mugu, not to worry. Just continue to be d mugu. Be dat mugu with all amount of happiness and thank God for giving u the grace to provide for him.

Pls, don't destroy the good relationship u've built with the boy for yrs. He'll take his decision when he's a man.

[quote author=Confilass]Earnestly, am touch by ur story. Pls don't send d boy to the father or anyway. U've been doing it for 15yrs, u don't need to complain now dat u're about to reap what u sow. Continue without complain and God will bless u and even d boy won't forget u in life.
quote]



Whatever you are doing, just do it for the Child and God, do not expect much back because you may not get it, in the future if the situation arises that the guy would need to do something either for you or his father, people will ask you if you expect him to leave his father for you!that's Africa for you, it is a nice thing that the child is a boy,if it were a girl, you cannot even colleck sisi out of her bride price, they will tell you guys to go and look for the Father and beg him to come and take the money sef!

@OP
the baby was made by TWO people, not just ONE.....so as much as you are quick to wanna strangle that guy, why dont you equally feel bitter about how YOUR SISTER is taking care of the child?! she is as irresponsible as the guy. also, you should blame African society where parents are the ultimate say in such matter, instead of the CULPRITS. if anyone should take care of this child, then let it be THE PARENTS who were quick to refuse an abortion.

Your parents accepted responsibility, how is that your problem? If the responsibility is too much, go and drop him in your sisters house. Then your sister can take it from there. I dont know why she was allowed to marry and hide her own child. Obviously her husband does not want the child in his house, or the child is a big secret. . I pity the child.

This boy is three years away from turning 18 and attending university. At this point, it's kinda-of too late to be sending the boy anywhere. For all practical purposes, you raised this boy yourself and he is never going to forget it. Start seeing yourself as his father because no matter what his real father does in the future, the real father can never replace you because children see and remember everything.

Above all, there is no good deed we sow into the life of a child that goes unrewarded, either by the child itself or by God. Just continue treating this boy like your son. God sees all and rewards accordingly.

Fesisko: I am sorry for d incönviniency.I dont know y my post appeared threetimes.

It's been modified.

@ post.

People hav given u good responses.

@ poster,
Seems like you want †☺ know what †☺ do with Τ̲̅ђe Kid.
A. Adopt him or get the court †☺ award you full custody of the child since his parents have failed †☺ do so. Ps. It means your sis will no longer be Τ̲̅ђe Mum and the sperm donor has no rights whatsoever on him.
B. Take the sperm donor †☺ court aπϑ ask for maintenance of the child, you will sue has the legal guardian of the child.

tasandra: nobi small thin ooo,mother marry anoda man wen no want her son,4 house well, my dear, pls take good care of the boi.Op
u are complainin abt the alrdy low life man,what abt his mom its clear to everybody that,her hubby s most important,to her than her baby

I think dis is mean

@Poster,


a) You are good brother to have taken care of your nephew for that long, and I am sure the boy appreciates this however, you need to remember that the reason this boy came to be is because your sister chose to make it happen. It is easy to hate the other but remember YOUR SISTER made the boy possible.

b) If you need to send the boy anywhere, you are supposed to send him to his mother, not the father of the boy. The mother is the one who brought him into this world. And from what you said, it seems she got off free too, as you have conveniently provided her a place to shelf her past mistakes so she can go on to enjoy a life without the consequences. But I think what you need to do is call your sister, and tell her it is time to fulfill her responsibilities as a mother to the boy.

c) It is not up to you to tell the kid's father anything. That connection that brought the boy about happened between your sister and the boy's father, and so any discussions should be between her and him.

d) The one wey catch you guys mugu here na your sister. She is the one who got pregnant. She also is the one who is somehow enjoying her life with her new man off somewhere while you are left catering to the boy that she produced when she felt it ok to be careless.

2mch: Your parents accepted responsibility, how is that your problem? If the responsibility is too much, go and drop him in your sisters house. Then your sister can take it from there. I dont know why she was allowed to marry and hide her own child. Obviously her husband does not want the child in his house, or the child is a big secret. . I pity the child.

tasandra: nobi small thin ooo,mother marry anoda man wen no want her son,4 house well, my dear, pls take good care of the boi.Op
[b]u are complainin abt the alrdy low life man,what abt his mom [/b]its clear to everybody that,her hubby s most important,to her than her baby

Abi