The entire family of UEFA regret to announce the sudden death of our beloved child, Barcelona FC who were brutally murdered by assassins believed to be from CHELSEA FC after a match well played. The assasins, Didier Drogba; the ring-leader, Ramires; the Rocket launcher and Torres; the gang's driver. Although, Merci tried 2 stopped the massacre by attempting to hold the waist of Lampard, he and the rest of the children were utterly frustrated. Left to mourn them are the aged father, Platini, the run-away coach, Pep Guardiola, Man u, Arsenal and so many other so numerous to mention. May their tiki-taka pattern of football rest in peace! Signed: UEFA PRESIDENT