tobechi74: D prob is frm u. Haw du u aproach gals. Wat ist impresion d u gve them. Dat ure loaded.u got it all. U buy lunch daily-who send u?why?

D only way u show a gal u care is 2ru gft and cash ,buy dis and mat. WRONG.

Ist act like a frend. U mustnt see her evry day.gve her space.dnt always b wit her.u can du more phone cals and les seeing.askin ha out shud be once a week.dnt gve ha d ist impresin dat u want 2 date her.
They are many ways 2 care 4 gal witout spendin on her

Are you saying that I should not spend my finance the way I see fit. I am a guy of taste. I love to have the finer things in life and just because I don't want to give women the wrong impression, I should use bad cars, drink shepe, always eat at mama put, where worn out clothes and live in an uncomfortable environment?.

zannie: Its not a Naija tin please. U started by saying u spent on her @ first coz u ddnt want her to think u r cheap. Dats d impression u created and dats d impression she got. So dnt be complaining.
I am extremely proud to say I never collect a penny from any man, I dnt even know how I wud get past d shame of begging him. Dat way, I keep my pride and my dignity. And I knw many Nigerian girls like dat too.
And always bear in mind dat what u give is what u receive.

First of all, she asked and I couldn't just refuse since it was the beginning of the ''relationship''. I don't creat impressions. I live the way I live, I like to have the finest things in life. I am not complaining about why Nigerian women seek Nigerian man as their finantial sources, I'm asking why?

I'm happy to know you don't depend financially on your guy. I hope he is treating you the way a lady should be treated..

Drew

Theben:
Bros sorry o, I've also experienced same and i so much believe that gals from poor home are the most guilty of this. There was this gal i dated in my university days, our relationship lasted for just a year and that year happened to be my most frustrating year in school as i had to part with the meagre allowances from my parents just to please her. I thought i was in love. Felt much relieved after breaking up with her.
OP, i believe you also gave her the impression that you are loaded or perhaps she has seen you lavished your money in an outing. However, that is not to say that gals shouldn't cut the rate they demand from guys. For heaven sake, we are not your parents, a guy tends to give a gal maximum respect when he knows she has no use for his money.

Thanks for the wonderful comment Bro. I am sorry for your past ordeal too. Everyone has been telling me it was the impression that I gave her about being loaded. I don't give impressions, I live the way I live. I like to have the best in life and just because I don't want to be too ''flashy'' shouldn't mean I should hve less, don't you think. I don't see that as an excuse, I just believe Nigerian ladies are very materialistic, it's in their blood. I don't believe majority of girls from poor home are. I have dated a girl from such home and we had no problems whatsoever. For heavens sake too, please ladies, cut your billings from us ooh, we're not your parents.. LOL...

Yield:

LOL. Mcheeew.

From yout statement, it seems his comment touched a nerve there that means there must be some atom of truth in 190 statement. LOL .

You are to blame poster.

You must set the pace right from the start. Look at the way you started it,Little by little she dug into ur pockets and you played along cz u wanted to apppear cool and able.
What is so difficult with telling a girl that you simply cannot afford what she asks for? Some girls are sober enough to understand that.
If she wants to step, let her do so early in the relationship before you have spent ur whole account on her.
You guys come to lament online after you have been dumped for not being able to do more.
My question usually is,Why did you do all she asked you to do at the beginning? Weren't u smart enough to know when to put ur foot down?
What are parties for if you cant afford to foot the bill? Some girls are so vain.I would rather buy a pair of shoe than throw a useless party which I can't afford.
Poster, You just couldn't resist the urge to please so dont blame the girls.

The problem starts cos most guys are so desperate to get a particular babe that they lie and spend like Dangote. If from the start she asks for card and you tell her no, she would not ask you for a meal and she would not even dare ask you for a phone

cog1: First off,I would like to correct the erroneous impression that "all" Nigerian girls are materialistic. Its so untrue.
The fact that you've unfortunately been running into the wrong ones does not in any way justify that statement.
You,yourself,have work to do on yourself in terms of your method of selection for these your gfs sef.
If you decide to go for flashy-figure-8-tempting-to-touch-by-every-man types,please when they start asking you to pay for maintenance of all those packages don't complain,pls rmbr law of diminishing return!
Bros,go for a homely girl,and come and open another thread later about how thrifty naija girls can be.
2cents

Yes, I know not all Nigerian girls are materialistic but what would you call women from Kenya? Wouldn't you call them Kenyan women... Since the ladies in question that I have deemed materialistic are from Nigeria, I think I can call them Nigerian ladies so let's not verge away from the topic. I am not very selective or picky when it comes to finding a gal for a relationship, I think I do my pickings based on their character and judgement. I don't always go for as you put in flashy-figure-8-tempting-to-touch-by-every-man girls but even the ones I meet are pretenders.

Another point you're missing is that, it's not that I can't assist my gal financiallly but I become suspicious where everything is about money. The first 2 weeks we supposedly dated, this girl was like money for this money for that. I know a girl needs money for maintenance and what not. You don't need to ask me all the time for money for this and that, I have eyes, I know when a woman needs a good makeover, clothes and whatnot. I just dislike being pestered like I am some kind of ATM machine or something. You get my drift?

sosoluv:
Its important for u early in a relationship to state what u can offer and u can't and what u are simply not willing to offer. Never go all out jus to keep some pretty face happy, unless she is willing to do the same for u.

Don't you think that would be too forward?.

tellwisdom:

Now weting make this gurl smart now??

Shey normal human being dey talk like this--> "If you decide to go for flashy-figure-8-tempting-to-touch-by-every-man types,please when they start asking you to pay for maintenance of all those packages don't complain,pls rmbr law of diminishing return"

Edumare gba mi oo

LOL

druid06:

Don't you think that would be too forward?.

No it's not. At the beginning of a relationship, don't you set the "terms and conditions"? Like what you like in a woman and what you don't? If you don't do that you should start doing that. It helps avoid a lot of headaches

The fact is that if a lady has enough money to take of herself she would not bother her man. The get money n don't work for it mentality has eaten deep into naija dat some ladies show it in terms of being materialistic. Someone said sometin abt not creating d impression of having too mch money, that's not d problem, d problem is dat some ladies see guys as a way out financially. I've had experiences where I was meeting up a lady frnd of mine in a restaurant, her frnd with her there was not particularly interested in our conversation n she hardly paid any attention to me even wif my little looks.. But immediately we walked outside n she saw my benz Suv she immediately had a change of mood and she became suddenly interested in knowing me. As a very sharp guy, I didn't bother 2 knw her cuz I already knew where it was all headed.. It is a wrong hypothesis to say all ladies r like dat cuz I've a lady dat is too supportive n caring and I force her 2 take gifts and money.. C'mon guys we can be able to read d signs @ d first meet.

As u lay ur bed_na so u go lie on top_u were showin ursf,hw cm u sudden woke up

Mynd_44:
It means this topic is just silly.

Okay!

pendo89: You are to blame poster.

You must set the pace right from the start. Look at the way you started it,Little by little she dug into ur pockets and you played along cz u wanted to apppear cool and able.
What is so difficult with telling a girl that you simply cannot afford what she asks for? Some girls are sober enough to understand that.
If she wants to step, let her do so early in the relationship before you have spent ur whole account on her.
You guys come to lament online after you have been dumped for not being able to do more.
My question usually is,Why did you do all she asked you to do at the beginning? Weren't u smart enough to know when to put ur foot down?
What are parties for if you cant afford to foot the bill? Some girls are so vain.I would rather buy a pair of shoe than throw a useless party which I can't afford.
Poster, You just couldn't resist the urge to please so dont blame the girls.

I did not come online to lament my sister, please can you read my post once more and stop twisting my words. I was just asking why are most Nigerian ladies materialistic and if you did take time to read my post, I wasn't dumped and I wasn't used as a pawn in her little game and I did not do all she asked, after the first instance, I did not do more.. I just wanted to know why? Is it a genetic thing or is the cause from the bad economy? I made this post to get credible responses from both male and female and not responses that are vile and insulting or sarcastic. This problem is very viral and it seems 4 out 5 guys in the Nigerian society are currently in such kind of relationships where the female partner is taking advantage of the relationship for materialistic possessions.

Mynd_44: The problem starts cos most guys are so desperate to get a particular babe that they lie and spend like Dangote. If from the start she asks for card and you tell her no, she would not ask you for a meal and she would not even dare ask you for a phone

I don't know what kind of mindset you have but from the picture I am getting from your posts, not a pretty one. Not all guys base their relationships on lies and there's no biggie about crediting a ladies phone so far she calls you with it sometime or taking her out dinner sometimes. My question is, why in most Nigerian relationships, the female see's it as a guise to take advantage of a guy's goodwill for material possessions. I thought a relationship was about being in love, understanding each other, trusting each other and respecting each other's differences?

Mynd_44:
No it's not. At the beginning of a relationship, don't you set the "terms and conditions"? Like what you like in a woman and what you don't? If you don't do that you should start doing that. It helps avoid a lot of headaches

Relationships are not meant to be like legal documents where you set terms and conditions. I used to think relationship was about a man and a woman who are in love or have some kind of feelings for each other, who trust each other, support each other, understand each other and are willing to set aside their differences and respect each other. Most Nigerian guys that are in relationships are usually taken advantage of by their girlfriends for material possessions if they know it or not and I am asking myself why? Why are most Nigerian ladies materialistic.

Why are men being so unrealistic.how can u be in a relationship and don't want to spend but u want to enjoy dat pussy.common spend dat money,they are d major reason u work.that's Adams punishment.

davioli: The fact is that if a lady has enough money to take of herself she would not bother her man. The get money n don't work for it mentality has eaten deep into naija dat some ladies show it in terms of being materialistic. Someone said sometin abt not creating d impression of having too mch money, that's not d problem, d problem is dat some ladies see guys as a way out financially. I've had experiences where I was meeting up a lady frnd of mine in a restaurant, her frnd with her there was not particularly interested in our conversation n she hardly paid any attention to me even wif my little looks.. But immediately we walked outside n she saw my benz Suv she immediately had a change of mood and she became suddenly interested in knowing me. As a very sharp guy, I didn't bother 2 knw her cuz I already knew where it was all headed.. It is a wrong hypothesis to say all ladies r like dat cuz I've a lady dat is too supportive n caring and I force her 2 take gifts and money.. C'mon guys we can be able to read d signs @ d first meet.

Brotherly, I really appreciate your comment on this topic. You made your points which such poise that left me in awe. I wasn't saying that all Nigerian ladies are materialistic, I am saying that ''most'' Nigerian ladies are. I don't mind showering her with gifts, I still don't mind spending on her but when I feel I'm being taken advantage of, I feel very irritated and I don't like it. Sometimes we the men try to read the signs in the beginning but you know women, they can pretend. A friend of mine was in a relationship with this girl, she was a worker so was he too. She made more money than him but she still insist he fills her car with fuel, buy her this gift and that and she never does anything for this guy in return. I have heard a lady friend of mine once said she did not come to this life to suffer, she came to enjoy life to the fulliest and that is why she has a boyfriend. Can you see what is wrong with that statement?. I thank you once more for the comment and I am happy that you're in a relationship with the right lady who understands you and is supportive. I guess some guys are lucky.

chidyhels: As u lay ur bed_na so u go lie on top_u were showin ursf,hw cm u sudden woke up

Sister, please you where not there and I wasn't showing off.

donvinchi :
Why are men being so unrealistic.how can u be in a relationship and don't want to spend but u want to enjoy dat pussy.common spend dat money,they are d major reason u work.that's Adams punishment.

Bro, we don't my showering our girl with gifts and whatnot but when it is being asked from you on a regular bases, that's where the problem sets in. Some gals are not just understanding.

donvinchi :
Why are men being so unrealistic.how can u be in a relationship and don't want to spend but u want to enjoy dat pussy.common spend dat money,they are d major reason u work.that's Adams punishment.

Bro, we don't mind showering our girls with gifts and whatnot but when it is being asked from you on a regular bases, that's where the problem sets in. Some gals are not just understanding.

druid06:

I don't know what kind of mindset you have but from the picture I am getting from your posts, not a pretty one. Not all guys base their relationships on lies and there's no biggie about crediting a ladies phone so far she calls you with it sometime or taking her out dinner sometimes. My question is, why in most Nigerian relationships, the female see's it as a guise to take advantage of a guy's goodwill for material possessions. I thought a relationship was about being in love, understanding each other, trusting each other and respecting each other's differences?

Crediting a ladies phone might not be wrong but when you have known her for a week or two and she is asking you for airtime, it is wrong and we all know it. What is wrong in telling her why must she ask you for it? If she really cares about you or have the slightest liking for you she will call you even if you don't send her airtime.
It starts with the airtime and then she tells you to help her buy something from the store on your way over then she tells you she can't shatters to you anymore cos her BIS has expired. Then she sets you up with a friend of hers that sells jewelry and tells you it will go well with black gucci shoes which of course you will buy.
Why not just restraint yourself the first time she asks you and tell her apart from you wanting to be with her, you also want to teach her to be independent?

druid06:

Relationships are not meant to be like legal documents where you set terms and conditions. I used to think relationship was about a man and a woman who are in love or have some kind of feelings for each other, who trust each other, support each other, understand each other and are willing to set aside their differences and respect each other. Most Nigerian guys that are in relationships are usually taken advantage of by their girlfriends for material possessions if they know it or not and I am asking myself why? Why are most Nigerian ladies materialistic.

Actually you should treat any relationship that will make you lose time, energy and money as a business transaction.when you are toasting her what's wrong in saying you met a girl once but you did not like her cos she is always asking for one thing or the other? Tell her how that "girl" made herself sound like an love peddler and see her reaction. Even if she wants to be materialistic, she would stop cos she would not want to look like that girl that you made up

Mynd_44:
Crediting a ladies phone might not be wrong but when you have known her for a week or two and she is asking you for airtime, it is wrong and we all know it. What is wrong in telling her why must she ask you for it? If she really cares about you or have the slightest liking for you she will call you even if you don't send her airtime.
It starts with the airtime and then she tells you to help her buy something from the store on your way over then she tells you she can't shatters to you anymore cos her BIS has expired. Then she sets you up with a friend of hers that sells jewelry and tells you it will go well with black gucci shoes which of course you will buy.
Why not just restraint yourself the first time she asks you and tell her apart from you wanting to be with her, you also want to teach her to be independent?

You're absolutely right about the crediting of phone but this gal in particular never asked for airtime. It started with a party which I was supposed to be attending and she asked for an assistance for a make over. She said she wasn't financially bouyant at the moment and I thought about the issue for a sec or two. I was like what the heck, I knew it wasn't right to begin a relationship that way but she was my ''girlfriend'' and I wanted her to look good for the party and I didn't think it was a big deal. My red flag was raised somewhere in my mind when she asked but I just over looked it. Then she started asking for this and that which started getting me irritated. I did not give her anything after then before I called her to caution, let her know my mind. I told her I wasn't a bank and the way the relationship was going wasn't the way I intended it to go. She apologized then continue to ask and then I knew it was time to end it then I gave her the red card and that's why I'm here just raising my questions why some Nigerian ladies can be so materialistic. They tend to take advantage of a guys goodwill. I am not here complaining, I'm just asking why?

But you have to admit not all of them are. Even those who don't want to be are taught by the men who think the best way to get a girl is to "buy" her

Mynd_44: But you have to admit not all of them are. Even those who don't want to be are taught by the men who think the best way to get a girl is to "buy" her

True

2

@op
U seem to misunderstand me. I ddnt meant u shud pretend u dnt have when u do. From ur replies, u seem very honest and candid. And I love ur mentality abt relationships. What I mean is dat u shud learn some restraint when giving, especially when u deem it unnecessary. True, some girls can be silly and inconsiderate about dese tins, but much of it is rily human nature. She sees how u r willing to lavish on her, so she takes advantage of it. Gifts occasionally are fine, but when she makes it look like its ur responsibility to take care of her, and u aint even married to her, den u my friend shud think with ur head

@op
You are too eager to please a woman whether its the primary stage or later in the relationship. And lemme use this medium to correct certain impressions,poverty is not the only reasons why these so called naija girls are materialistic because even the working class and those from well to do or average homes also begs guys for money every now and then.
But I can narrow it down to upbringing and the personality involved,I have once dated a girl from a very poor home but never asks for money if its not dire or out of her control and its very rare.

sosoluv:
Its very simply don't date and u won't have to worry abt anything else.

Are you trying to be sarcastic?.