It beats me why some people have to be rude for no reason. Why would someone come here and call another man's wife a slu.t

It's just unnacceptable!

You need to make her a visual presentation on why she should not be so frivolous in her spending. She needs to understand that whilst things like this happen in any part of the world and even Nigeria (in terms of preventable deaths) http://photobucket.com/images/starving+baby/, she is being a bad person for wasting such huge sums on her child. May our children not curse us for showing them misplaced love that will impair their progress in the future.

nanidee: It beats me why some people have to be rude for no reason. Why would someone come here and call another man's wife a slu.t

It's just unnacceptable!

@bolded, because they lack self-control plus decorum and don't get sanctioned enough for it.

@poster

No vex but to be frank, this is the reason why somepeople advocate for people of equal classes and backgrounds to marry. Then expenditure outlook might be the same.

I can just imagine how ur wife felt,our first baby, plenty money(old money) and nice nice things to buy.

Talk to her calmy and simply, noo shouting(esp as its not ur money)appeal to her common sence- 'when and were would baby wear all these to. do u have a frend that runs a baby store lets prune them down, group them by similar sizes and styles.lets give ur friend to sell'. Sometimes when you shop, you are unaware of the size regimes u have bought already. Dont nag at all, if she refuses, end it there and move on. And even when the child doesent wear half the shoes, dont even bother saying i told u so, she would learn. Appreciate some of the shoes as well...oh this is nice, so you would not write off the entire gesture.

U could also use the shoes as gifts and keep for more children if God wills it

I am speaking from experience,i also recently had a baby, hes about 4 months old. I bought like 20 footwear for him, but the sizesa are what he would wear till hes like 4 years old. My husband saw them and was looking at me with bad eye, but he knew well enough not to say a word...i used my money and sincerly didnt think it was extragavant. Till date he has worn only one of them and it keeps falling off, infact i just carry the guy with his socks like that. even me don tire to wear the shoes.

so basically we all learn with experience. At the next baby no one would tell her

@OP it is obvious that your wife comes from a 'money home' and doesnt see anything wrong with all that spending on baby shoes.
Its also very probable that she might come back with much more other baby stuff than she has already sent, so be prepared.
My advice is that on her return you sit her down and try your loving best to explain why what she has done is outrageous.
You might also need to find a way to get some of the excess cash off her and start investing seriously on things that will on the long run benefit both of you and all the kids to come.
I say this because honestly I dont see your wife changing as she has probably had money around her all her life. Money has a funny way of disappearing when you least expect it so you had better be prepared.
Wish you goodluck, best of luck!

texazzpete:

I actually believe him...it's a true story. Check his posting history...he got married to a rich man's daughter in March.
https://www.nairaland.com/892242/it-right-work-ones-father
Since she's already given birth now, it's likely the pregnancy was the reason for the marriage in the first place. Perhaps

She probably has access to loads of cash, but as a man he would like to be the one providing for most of his wife's needs. It has to really irk him that her needs are seemingly beyond what his means can comfortably carry.

I can understand why he's rather unhappy.

True, the problem is he's from a poor background while the wife is from a rich one.

While i dont support unnecessary frivolities, its a known fact that people tend to overspend on baby items-especially if its the firstbaby and you have some cash to spare. And yes, baby things are priced to make you spend more not minding the fact that the child outgrows these things very fast. Most new parents fall into this trap.




What you spend will depend on what you can afford.


besides, the op is complaining about the wife's expenses, but he didnt complain when she plonked down thousands of dollars to have the child overseas?

nanidee: It beats me why some people have to be rude for no reason. Why would someone come here and call another man's wife a slu.t

It's just unnacceptable!

seconded

tpia@:


True, the problem is he's from a poor background while the wife is from a rich one.

While i dont support unnecessary frivolities, its a known fact that people tend to overspend on baby items-especially if its the firstbaby and you have some cash to spare. And yes, baby things are priced to make you spend more not minding the fact that the child outgrows these things very fast. Most new parents fall into this trap.




What you spend will depend on what you can afford.


besides, the op is complaining about the wife's expenses, but he didnt complain when she plonked down thousands of dollars to have the child overseas?

Madame, look at what you are saying again very well O.

apart from the unnecessary extravagant shopping, i noticed one other thing she told you and i quote "am spending the money on my son" i mean no offense Sir, but for sure i know her type.

OP, Before i comment, what car do you drive ?

....em another thing, since its shoes we're talking about, is the baby walking already?

991: apart from the unnecessary extravagant shopping, i noticed one other thing she told you and i quote "am spending the money on my son" i mean no offense Sir, but for sure i know her type.

exactly what i was thinking, why didn't she say something like... i am spending the money on our son, or Honey, you know he is our first child

Just let her know that Goodluck had no shoes when he was growing up. So for the baby to be great she have to sell the shoes.

Dr. Joe:


exactly what i was thinking, why didn't she say something like... i am spending the money on our son, or Honey, you know he is our first child

Nawaoh for some people sha...I don't know wot u dimwits hope to achieve by pointing this out to d op....you guys sure want d op to feel bad or something...kindly desist from dis silly act.

maclatunji:

Madame, look at what you are saying again very well O.

What are you quarelling about?

If any part of the post skips you, simply ask for clarification.

Congrats bro on your new born.
Honestly, it doesn't really matter, as long as she still has enough to save. When the kid has grown past them, you can give them away to the needy. The important thing is for the money to keep rolling in on that scale.

Cheers***

^very wise response.


The main problem here is they're from different backgrounds.

Now that your wife is spending like a Farouk or Otedola and see nothing wrong in what she is doing, hope you have a very good secured job, have your own building and excess to keep for the future, if not, you are into a big mess. I have a friend suffering now as a result of her wife's spending attitude. He lost his job and the wife is about trying to walk out on him. So sort out this kind of issues now cos, that is not the way forward if you have not made it big. Unless you are a Nigerian politician that rob with pen and can afford anything on earth.

@OP, hubris is the word. I think she is possessed of it. Madness has no other name than MADNESS! Let's call a spade a spade! And some fools are even saying it's not his money now. . .in marriage? Some of you just need to experience marital life, in order to have your brains configured. We say a child is foolish, his mother says as long as he doesn't die. What death kills faster than arrant folly?

Lord Babs: @OP, hubris is the word. I think she is possessed of it. Madness has no other name than MADNESS! Let's call a spade a spade! And some fools are even saying it's not his money now. . .in marriage? Some of you just need to experience marital life, in order to have your brains configured. We say a child is foolish, his mother says as long as he doesn't die. What death kills faster than arrant folly?

You said the right thing.Some people who are not married and do not know what life is all about is asking here if the money belongs to the man or the wife. So if the money is from the woman, she should be spending the money like a criminal? You have told them the truth.

Why am I even reading this post. I could read in between the lines that all is total lies. Man be real and give us true life situations. If you have that kind of money to waste on baby shoes you will not be on this forum... hisss

ooua: Why am I even reading this post. I could read in between the lines that all is total lies. Man be real and give us true life situations. If you have that kind of money to waste on baby shoes you will not be on this forum... hisss

...Bros...u miss am....the man clearly says the money is 90% his wife's......even if the guy make up story for us....this is an interesting topic....if u no like am waka...me dey enjoy am....haba...

On top her own money again

God knows if I can afford it I will spend even more than that (450k) on my daughter's stockings!

Enter labour room na and see what happens b/w mother and child. You men NEVER understand!

Be a bit happy, at least your son won't grow up telling the whole world he had no shoes when growing up.


450k for a baby that can't even wear the shoes himself nor even recognize the colors or brands? i wonder how much your wife's clothes are worth, 10 milla?

tpia@:
^very wise response.


The main problem here is they're from different backgrounds.

No, that is not the problem. The problem is the wife's wasteful spending. The fact that you are rich does not mean you should be excessive in your spending. How rich is she? Even billionaires in dollar terms watch how they spend their money.

All this poor people on nairaland! On top of her own money. When he went to impregnate a rich mans daughter what did he think? She will allow her child suffer? Its ur insecurity worrying you and you need to work on urself. If she asked you for the money that is a different matter. Boys! Stay in ur social class and stop coming to nl to be opening useless threads.

I strongly doubt this claim of "70dollars to 300dollars..infact the total money she...."

What stores and what's on the tag, You may Scan and post the "Tags" . I buy lot's of stuff for my kids from US and Europe ( Uk, Italy, France ) I do all the shopping you can think off, I really do wonder where you got those figures. Especially now that you have lot's of Summer sale going on. Even prime and Luxury Labels on High street are on SALE !!!. Certainly you couldn't tell us that your wife buys out of ignorance or probably asked Ferragamo, Zara, or Hermes to craft your babies shoes.

Summer Collections are still trickling on to displays.

Haba $70 Shoe - New born abi na for teens ?

Make you talk small small ooooh !!!

Ujujoan: On top her own money again

God knows if I can afford it I will spend even more than that (450k) on my daughter's stockings!

Enter labour room na and see what happens b/w mother and child. You men NEVER understand!

*Yinmu Yinmu*

nexeee: Am so angry and disturbed...we welcomed a bouncing baby boy last month...i could not travel to be by my wife's side because of some unforeseen issues..so i held fort here in nigeria...my wife decided to send the excess luggage's in bits and i went to pick some of them yesterday..

i picked a total of 6 big suitcases yesterday..on getting home..i decided to open the suitcases and to my chagrin i saw 2 big suitcases filled with just baby footwear...foot wears with price tags ranging from 70dollars to 300dollars..infact the total money she spent on clothes,toys and shoes she bought for the baby is in the range of 1-2m..i was livid with anger..how can someone spend that kind of money on a baby?? shoes that the child will outgrow in a few years time...the first time i wore a 15k shoe was during my NYSC...i am just maad that my wife is not frugal with money..things are not as rosy as it seems..i called her to complain and all she could say was that she is spending the money on her son...it is even heartbreaking that she sees nothing wrong in spending such moni on a baby..

i honestly do not want to bring up my child in such manner...a child needs to know that things are hard..and am just patiently waiting for her to come back..this nonsense just have to stop.

maybe they are for sale

sashaa:
maybe they are for sale

It is not impossible you know. He should encourage her to sell some, keep some for future babies and hand some out as gifts to people that will appreciate it. I am beginning to think that those are the things they can do with them whilst he encourages her to reduce her heavy spending in a time of global recession.

cheddarking:

You can always tell when a pauper marries a rich man's daughter.

*yawns* Boring response 4rm an empty head

thanks everyone..your words of advice are invaluable indeed..

i really hate to sound like a strict parent but i believe one should not train his kids with so much affluence...i took out time to think last night and am already getting scared for my boy....he is the first grandchild of my in-laws and i shudder at the level of love and affection they will shower on my boy...do not get me wrong..i love him alot..i really do..but i believe that depriving him of some luxuries in life will help shape him into a better man...a man that will believe in hardwork and patience...i do not want to raise a mummy's boy..nah..i want to raise a man in every definition of it,

what will a child be doing with a 300dollar shoe? or a hoodie of 80dollars? i just tire..during my days in UBA,contract staff earn btwn35-45k a month...and these guys work their arse off..and still manage to save some money..its only few people that will understand my worry..its not about the money..its about the child...i have seen children from rich homes that could not stand on their own once daddy's money finishes...i remember the lecture tony elumelu gave us during our induction in UBA..he talked about his childhood and how it contributed in shaping him into the man that he is now.

i really want to raise a real man...i will definitely be coming here for tips and advice.thanks once more