Mr. Latin, the popular Yoruba actor was at KFC (City Mall) the day I showed my “madness” and was beaten by Soldiers as reported in FIGURE 9.

He was working on a blockbuster movie and he needed someone who could perfectly play the role of a mad man. I guess he got my contact from Bola because I ran away after being beaten by the soldiers at City Mall. He just finished conducting a nationwide audition for the role of a mad man in a movie to be directed by Tunde Kelani.

It was a dream come true as I eventually landed a juicy contract in Nollywood. My several attacks on the Nigerian film industry on twitter, Facebook and my blog had not brought me to the attention of anyone not to talk of having them invite me for a role.

The setting of the movie, titled “FAWORAJA – IMPOSTOR”, was Abeokuta, Ogun State. There is something unsettling about the town. The major points of entry and exit are what an average Nigerian must “reject” when he wakes in the morning.

Coming in from Ibadan, to your right, before Obantoko, is the dreaded Eleweran Police Station. It is the Headquarters of the Police Force in Ogun State where very tough cases are referred to. For your matter to be transferred to that place, you are good as finished. Those guys are mean!


Coming in from Lagos, the first major institution you will observe is the Aro Neuro-Psychiatry Hospital. Mad men all over Africa struggle to be referred there. There was a case of a mad man at the Psychiatry section of LUTH who threatened his doctor if he was not transferred to Aro. He eventually carried out his threat. He bit the doctor badly that they both ended up at Aro! That is the institution that solely represents Nigeria at the Mad Men Olympiad.

Someone once pointed out that the locations of the two structures are deliberate. Eleweran is to handle trouble-makers coming from Ibadan while Aro is to screen mad men coming from Lagos.

The cast of the movie was great. There were artistes from both the Yoruba and English speaking divides of Nollywood. Olu Jacobs, Saheed Balogun, Cossy Orjiakor, Ronke Oshodi Oke, Femi Adebayo, Omotola Jolade, Funke Akindele, Fadeyi Oloro, Pete Edochie and Mercy Aigbe just to mention a few.

The shooting for the last scene involving me was at a roundabout at Onikolobo. The story was about a mad man who was made so by Fadeyi Oloro because the man impregnated his daughter.

In this movie, I played the role of the mad man.

Cossy and Ronke Oshodi Oke were my sisters in the movie and they came to pick me up at the roundabout which I already converted to my abode. The location was very real because a mad man actually resided there though he was not available at the time we were there to shoot.

Ronke and Cossy were on their knees trying to cajole me into going with them so that I could be cured but I was not persuaded. As much as I struggled to keep my eyes off their chests, I was losing the battle.

I heard from major male Nollywood actors that it takes a lot of self control not to lose concentration when you are on set with Cossy. It is as if she will die if she doesn’t shake those things. You can now imagine me, an upcoming actor, on set with both her and Ronke Oshodi-Oke.

In saner climes, the babes should be made to insure those frontals and if they refuse to, the Federal Government should, on their behalf. I really cannot imagine Cossy without what brought her fame.

I looked at the faces of the crew behind the camera and they were all looking at bosoms, excluding mine of course. I was worried that even the camera would be focused on these magnetic spots.

“Please look into my eyes, Richard” said Cossy, in an attempt to lure the “mad” me into following them to the car.

“Come with us now, please” added Ronke Oshodi-Oke.

“Leave me alone. Witches! I won’t go with you. If you don’t get me Beyonce, I’m not leaving here.” I responded


Cossy started getting close and she was about to touch me. I was scared because that could make me do away with the script. If she did, I was sure I would just hug her – who knows when next I would have the opportunity to be on set with her. If the truth be told, the camera doesn’t do any justice to what I was looking at. I was looking at the real thing. Sorry, things.

I raised my head a bit and I saw a real mad man running towards our location. That was when it occurred to me that we were trespassing on the mad man’s premises for the movie.

He had a club in his right hand and a cutlass in the left. The sad thing was that all members of the cast and crew had their backs to him. I was the only one that could see him.

“Ok. Let’s cut the long story short. I’m a fake mad man” I said, thinking we should stop production immediately.

What I got in return from the director was a thumbs up instead. He seemed to be very impressed with my “mad” performance.

“I’m warning you o, the real mad man is here!” I kept saying, but no one got the warning.

“E don do, stop begging me!” I screamed, but nobody appeared to get the message.

“I discovered him from the heart of Lagos. O ya were gan, very-very madt boy…” Mr. Latin kept boasting to crew and cast members. He was feeling like Christopher Colombus who discovered the continent of America.

At this point, I made an attempt to run away but Cossy and Ronke Oshodi-Oke held me, cozily, I must add, in an attempt to carry me to the car.

Nobody understood me until the mad man descended on Mr. Latin.

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WTF is this ?

Gosh!! It's too long