My girl came up last night to ask of our marriage plans. She said she has many proposals from men and her mum pressuring from another end. I have delayed the marriage introduction due to our differences and money matter. She needs me to make her decision this weekend. She is a very good girl, I mean marriage material. As she is having different men coming her way, she do not want to loose them and later loose out with me. She is in her late twenties while am in my early thirties.

My fear is that I came from a humble background. I know what poverty is, I have smelt it and I have romanced it. You know what it`s like fending for yourself from primary to university level. Poverty is something I do not wish my enemies to have. I want to attain financial independence in which I can cater for my wife and family. I don`t want my kids to go through what I have been through. At this point of my life I do not have much to run a family of my dream.

The fear of loosing her and starting a fresh search is killing me. Will I be able to get a girl like her in the future if I let go at this point? Please matured Nairalanders help.

I will advice u do de necessary things who knows ur marriage with her might bring blessings to u .

From the way u sound, u have a bright future ahead of u. With a good wife by ur side u can accomplish things.
Firstly,does she know ur true financial value? And is she ready to accept you the way u are?
Secondly,does she have a job or is she planning to have a job in the nearest future? If yes, then I think the two of u can work it out.
I've been married for some time now and one thing I can tell you is that you cannot "save" for a wedding. Once u are sure that you have found that right person for you, just start the preparations to make her yours one step at a time. If my husband n I could do it, u can. Don't loose this girl if truly she is a wife material. Girls like her are difficult to come by these days.
Good luck! And don't forget to pray remember, 'prayer is the key'.

Will the marriage deplete your savings or in what way exactly will it affect your wealth?


Not sure i understand the dilemma.

^^^^
Sorry I didnt include this. I am currently saving to start a business. If I venture into anything marriage the whole savings will go for it. This is is my dilema.

Please mod help me push this to the front page to attract helpful matured comments.

How old is your fiancee?

If she can afford to wait another year or so then you can probably go ahead with your own plans.


If not, then its up to you which path to take.


You can also consider a low key ceremony such as a quiet engagement and a registry wedding, if there are no objections to such from any quarter.


But if your finances arent where you want them to be, this might lead to more stress after the marriage, unless you have another source of income.

She is 29. More comments and advise please.

Am still waiting for more responses that could help.

@Op
- have you ever sat down with your GF and told her exactly what you wrote on this thread?
- what "differences" are you talking about?
- marriage is not something that should be taken lightly, the fact that she is asking you to give her an answer this weekend, shows that she may be looking for other avenues (aka other suitors)
- the fact that she doesnt want to lose out with other suitors says a lot about her state of mind....and i would sincerely question her dedication to this union.
- if you fully believe that you are not ready for marriage, then there is no reason why you should get married....thus accept your faith and let her go and get the marriage she desperately is seeking for.

Start wth formal introductn ,@ least,it shows som level of commtment

olaoluwa86: She is 29. More comments and advise please.

if she's 29 that means there's no time to waste.



if you'd said 22 or 24 then different scenario.

I'm sorry. . .I can't past the part where other men are proposing to her.

What the hell kinda relationship does she have with these men that they are proposing to her? I mean I know no man is crazy enough to propose to a girl outta of the blues (at least I hope not) so what gives?

If I were you, that's what I will start from.

Cchikelunkechi: I will advice u do de necessary things who knows ur marriage with her might bring blessings to u .

I SECOND THAT.

Go and get married and let us hear word. are you as wise as god? Then i will advice you not to miss this so goog marriage material girl for anything. Sit down with the girl, explain your financial status in clear terms and two of you can workout a marriage that will not be too expensive. moreover nobody knows MKO when he was marrying SIMBI but see what he become latter in live

Sisi_Kill: I'm sorry. . .I can't past the part where other men are proposing to her.

What the hell kinda relationship does she have with these men that they are proposing to her? I mean I know no man is crazy enough to propose to a girl outta of the blues (at least I hope not) so what gives?

If I were you, that's what I will start from.

Exactly what I was thinking about. I understand that she's 29 and in the nigerian context she must go under a lot of pressure to marry but still... marrying for the wrong reasons could lead to a disaster.

@op, concerning your situation, you seem mature enough to handle marriage and finances. If you keep babies away for some time or go through a "long" engagement/low key ceremony things might turn in your favor faster than you expect. My only worry lies with your girlfriend. How long have you known/dated her ? Are you sure she truly is marriage material ? I just can't imagine giving one week to a guy to propose... it seems she wants to be married no matter what and doesnt really care to who... btw who are those guys proposing to her ? Pls, be wise, only you can really understand and know her enough to make a decision. If you marry her and she insists on a big wedding and having kids right from the honeymoon, that might be the beginning of your troubles... And I'm sure you don't want to hear "If only I had married suitor so and so instead of you..." few months into the marriage

Thank you all, all the replies will be useful for my decision.

@Donlet Who is MKO?

Ziprisy: @Donlet Who is MKO?

have you being living under a cave? MKO is Abiola now