At a launching ceremony, an illiterate Igbo Chief noticed that each dignitary making a donation had two titles attached to his name. For instance, Chief (Dr) Micheal Ohenhe, Prof (Pastor) Felix Oke. This Chief determined not to allow anyone upstage him at the occasion and when it was his turn to speak, he took the mic and announced thus: "I, Late (Chief) Robinson Ikenamuotu donate the sum of N500,000 cash."

Late who?! The hall was empty.

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Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."

"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.

Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," he said.

"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."

"Season's more than half over," he said.

Waohhhhhhhhhhhh, ME LIKEY