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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight (16803 Views)
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Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by OkikiOluwa1(m): 6:47pm On Jul 23, 2012 |
Nigeria is country full of different kata kata. Plenty tins dey worry our mind. Family palava, issues at workplace, societal issues, religious etc all don sit-down berekete for the heart of our Country People. Aside from doing an exercise for weight loss, there are things that can make you lose weight. When these things happen to you, they make you have goose pimples, sweat profusely & feel like shedding some kilos from your body weight immediately...I have a list of randomly selected ones for typical Nigerians. They are; 1. Debt - I hate owing people debt. It makes me fear like say the person fit sell me. 2. House Rent - It's a sad thing to remember the due date of your house rent. Ask people whose Landlord/Lady loves money. 3. Notification of Sack - Atimes, this makes people feel as if they have been sentenced to penury before receiving the sack letter. 4. When your pregnant concubine just sent you a text that she's pregnant. After reading the text, mumu come catch you, you forgot to delete the message & your wife now picks up your phone. 5. Been caught in a mortuary elevator with corpse while the power was interrupted. This is serIOUS! 6. A man waiting to release semen but waits for over 30mins. Lmao! Fmj! 7. A man who has six kids before & his wife later gave birth to a sextuplet. 8. When you buy a Tokunbo Car from Cotonou, on your way back Costum Officials kom sieze am. 9. When a kid offends his dad & the mother asked him/her to go & cut the cane. This happened to me when I was growing up. I cut a small plant as cane & my mum used it on me as sample. She asked me to go & get a stronger cane. 10. When Thieves come to your house, dem ask you money, u no get. Dem ask for your wife's jewellry, she no get. Dem ask for your phones, you lied that you have none. Suddenly, your phone just rang with the song 'E bami kigbe ole o! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! (Intro of the song Bushmeat by Sound Sultan feat W4)'. Those thieves fit shymmex you & nyash your wife with vexation. Lwkmd! Feel free to add what can make you shed weight. Let's share some fun. 15 Likes |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by Nobody: 7:08pm On Jul 23, 2012 |
You ate beans before going for an interview,on reaching your turn, your stomach begin to act up. 10 Likes |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by OkikiOluwa1(m): 7:38pm On Jul 23, 2012 |
Reyginus: You ate beans before going for an interview,on reaching your turn, your stomach begin to act up.lmao! Dats really bad. How do u ask 4 d way 2 d toilet? 1 Like |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by wyzman: 8:58pm On Jul 23, 2012 |
When one yeye girl come say u don give am belle, or u bash d car of a senator, or u go beat soja wife. 1 Like |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by Homar(m): 9:11pm On Jul 23, 2012 |
When u enter compound and you are greeted by a german shephard * you gonna loose weight depending on d size of d compound * 10 Likes |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by OkikiOluwa1(m): 9:16pm On Jul 23, 2012 |
wyzman: When one yeye girl come say u don give am belle, or u bash d car of a senator, or u go beat soja wife.@wyzman, Ds 1 na anoda serious matter o. If dat senator sabi english like Hon. Patrick obaghiagbon or Rev. Okotie, den u r n soup. As 4 d yeye gl, FMJ! |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by OkikiOluwa1(m): 9:19pm On Jul 23, 2012 |
Homar: When u enter compound and you are greeted by a german shephard * you gonna loose one pounds depending on d size of d compound *lafing in wazobia. dats d shymmexical state of mind. Fear go wan cut ur liver. Dog bite s nt a sweet xperience |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by Padipadi: 10:22pm On Jul 23, 2012 |
Life wan kill me die here o. My own na if armed robber attack a bank dat I use and they approach me wt 'ur money or ur life, |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by amosy007: 1:22am On Jul 24, 2012 |
When u wan shag ur new babe and u di.ck start acting dumb.. 16 Likes |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by Eastcoast33(m): 1:30am On Jul 24, 2012 |
When it gets to December in Jos, hmmm fear dey hold me o, coz dis Malos no go let us be. |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by Asemo11(m): 1:48am On Jul 24, 2012 |
When u smoke IGBO GO 9TH VIGIL 4 Likes |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by youngchopper(m): 1:51am On Jul 24, 2012 |
Contesting 4 an election. GEJ can test to dat 1 Like |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by youngchopper(m): 1:54am On Jul 24, 2012 |
Wen u ar the president of an oil nation n ur wife goes arround pokin english 1 Like
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Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by DExplorer1: 2:16am On Jul 24, 2012 |
You got sacked the same day your wife delivers a twins. You Need To Read These! After Aborting 3 Times For Him, He's Set To Marry Another Lady This Month. 21 Reasons He Hasn't Proposed to You Yet 16 Regular Mistakes Singles Make in Relationships 25 Warning Signs of a Possible Break up in Your Relationship 16 Raw but Bitter Truths Ladies Must Know 5 Likes |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by Oluabayomi1(m): 2:40am On Jul 24, 2012 |
Or 4 example,u're travelling bt wt little money on u dat ll not be sufficient 4 u 2 go n enter motor @d park so,you resolve to standin by d roadside and board one(SÒNLÈ). But on getting one,immediately you enter,d ongoing discussion is this 'D WAY I'LL MAL-TREAT IF I EVENTUALLY ONE' .Trust sharp mouth, You join them not knowing they're all ONE and all of a sudden,dem tell you say thank God you don catch thief today so,come show your hand work |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by FriendMark(m): 2:45am On Jul 24, 2012 |
After 5 years in university, the clearance officers say your credentials are FAKE! No graduation or certificate for you. You were never a student in the first place. 13 Likes |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by kerijay(m): 3:06am On Jul 24, 2012 |
1.You Mistakenly Entered a one Chance Vehicle 2.A Madwoman pursuing you 1 Like |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by Nobody: 3:10am On Jul 24, 2012 |
D-Explorer: Dang! Hope u found a new job...but hopefully the joy of the newborn offset the sadness from loosing the job. 1 Like |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by Nobody: 3:29am On Jul 24, 2012 |
Lmaooooooo You guys are freaking funny. Good one OP and co. |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by Nobody: 3:32am On Jul 24, 2012 |
Padipadi: Life wan kill me die here o. My own na if armed robber attack a bank dat I use and they approach me wt 'ur money or ur life, "Oga Army Robber, abeg, Biko, because of God, make I deposit the money collect receipt then you fit collect am right away from the teller, because If you collect am from me direct na me go lose totally". 3 Likes |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by vodkat: 3:38am On Jul 24, 2012 |
in military era when babaginda and abacha dey power. Make you use your car jam military patrol 4x 4 jeep full of soldiers. Know say u go chop beta slap roll for ground and frog jump tire (true story happened to a friend in apapa) |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by vodkat: 3:43am On Jul 24, 2012 |
Another one (true story)this guy dey travel overseas for first time on reaching custom and immigration checking point. Them do body search and say my friend you arrested for carrying fake dollars about $5000 after parting with one milla omo see crying. aboki giv am all wash wash (fake) dollars 1 Like |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by Damayor12(m): 3:45am On Jul 24, 2012 |
ulling Generators especially i-pass-my-neighbour-Gen will definitely make u drop weight....and add even more muscles... 1 Like |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by ONLINEbizDON4U(m): 3:49am On Jul 24, 2012 |
*wink* WEIGHT LOSS is a very good NICHE. See how people are rolling into this thread. 1 Like |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by ibsmooth: 4:11am On Jul 24, 2012 |
Reyginus: You ate beans before going for an interview,on reaching your turn, your stomach begin to act up.You bad ooooh |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by Lakayana: 4:15am On Jul 24, 2012 |
On val's day someone comes to tell you that your husband has two children with another woman. 1 Like |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by ibsmooth: 4:20am On Jul 24, 2012 |
[quote author=FriendMark]After 5 years in university, the clearance officers say your credentials are FAKE! No graduation or certificate for you. You were never a student in the first place.[/quoteYawa go gas.Somebody must graduate or DIE |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by odumchi: 4:35am On Jul 24, 2012 |
A nagging wife. *You are sleeping as she wakes you up* Wife: WETIN YOU DEY DO? SLEEPING? EH? Husband: No be Saturday? Wife: YOUR MATES DEY WORKING FOR AM FAMILIES AND YOU DEY HERE DEY SLEEP?! Husband: which kain wahala be dis? Wife: YOU MUST GO FIND WORK TODAY! Husband: ABEG, if you no go let me sleep for house make I go sleep outside. Wife: EH? SO YOU DON BEGIN SLEEPING AROUND? |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by odumchi: 4:36am On Jul 24, 2012 |
Also, PDP. |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by mu2sa2: 4:44am On Jul 24, 2012 |
Babalawo demands 4 ur husband's wetin-call to make u a money charm 1 Like |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by Basic(m): 4:48am On Jul 24, 2012 |
When you just bought an android phone @ computer village, and, on getting home, you found the phone stuffed with hot fufu! 1 Like |
Re: Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight by kandiikane(m): 4:54am On Jul 24, 2012 |
Strolling down all sexy acting like a snob and someone just grabs your wig off your head. When your girlfriend finds your sex .toy aka bu.tt plug. When you fart in the midst of people and it's obvious na you. 4 Likes |
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