Dehindepgenius:
Hi guys. This one is strictly for the men, married ones especially. Single guys can drop in and learn though. I was inspired to start this thread by the large number of marriage issues seen on Nairaland. Perhaps if we men handle our end better, we'll be solving 50% of the problem right?

So let's talk, advice each other and learn. Issues with our wives, kids, money, jobs, families, intimacy...everything really. I would have loved to tag the married men on Nairaland but I don't know who is married or not. Anyone can help with this.

9ja007

Thanks for your response and efforts put in place to commenced the above topic concerning challenges we the married men are facing.

I'm 100% available to learn and contribute.

Thanks for the advice to take out my phone number. I dont know how to go about it. Out of curiosity I just googled my phone number, my last post at nairaland and phone number came out and I dont like that.

Please any idea how I can take down my phone number from my previous post?

Dehindepgenius:
I am almost completely sure you are not giving us the full picture. It would be really interesting to hear your wife's version of this story. As human beings, we tend to tell stories in a way that favors us and make us garner pity. If your wife is the breadwinner at the moment, she deserves your loyalty, respect and understanding. Taking care of the financial responsibilities of a home is not easy. You plan, you worry, you get afraid, you have sleepless nights...especially if your spouse does not pitch in.
Here's what happens. When a man loses his source of livelihood, every little move by a woman suddenly becomes emaaculating. The woman is already under a terrible strain and you are here to barmouth her to strangers.

I frankly do not believe you are doing enough. Factories abound, uber is there, the keke business is there, even uneducated teenagers from the north are hustling and making a good living riding bikes.

Yea, sometimes a man experiences setbacks, my dad did. The true measure of manhood lies in dusting yourself off the ground and trying again. These days sadly, there are too many lazy men who whine instead of actually being men. If you are here bad mouthing your wife, then I'm willing to bet, you do it everywhere. My cousin went through this. Everybody called her wicked. The husband's elder brother was like come and stay with me and I'll fix you up with something. They no tell the brother. Las Las he chases the man out of his home and told everyone to ignore the man because he is lazy. All he does is play video games and sleep.

Society is particularly unfair to women. A quick look through this site will convince any unbiased person of that. You already have men pitying you and condemning your wife which is exactly what you wanted. Oga poster, you came here seeking pity, looking for people to condemn your wife and soothe your ego and you already have faceless strangers doing that, but the truth is you are failing as a husband and a father. These people cheering you on and telling you your wife is wicked are in their ow homes hustling and taking care of their business.

I am a man like you and I will not lie to you. You are your own problem. Take these steps.

1. First of all, love and appreciate your wife. Thank her for all she does.

2. Pray hard and ask God to show you why you are experiencing hard luck. Folks here might not tell you the truth, but you may have a character flaw that is working against you. You may actually be lazy, most lazy people won't admit it. It may also be karma. You may have treated others, including your wife badly in the past hence the problems. Yes, it happens. Find out what the problem is and fix it.

3. Hustle, hustle, hustle! I don't believe in excuses. Real men don't. Meanwhile, what do you do? You can mail me your cv at dehindep@gmail.com.

@Dehindepgenius
Good morning sir, thanks for the above unbiased and inteligent response you rendered on the above issue. I'm glad the OP got the needed advice and he had worked things out with the wife, also thanks to the nairaland family for helping out.

Personally I'm going through a similar situation with my wife if not more severe. Our communication channel had broken down for the past three months now and we are about getting a divorce.

I will like to talk with someone like you for your unbiased advice and third opinion if possible.

I sent you an email via dehindep@gmail.com on the 2nd of January 2020 but it wasn't delivered.

xxxGums Bleeding While Brushingxxx