YoungSalute: First I must appreciate each and everyone of you contribution, the fight, argument and etc

I took some of the write up and neglected some though, not because I didn't respect their views.

My woman did nothing and never exchanged words with my mum. She was shocked too

Like I said, she was cooking yam, gas got finished and she left the food without storage. My mum got angry because my woman didn't put the yam inside fridge.

Well... Back to verdict

They must live in peace or I will ask THEM to stay away from me. I can't imagine myself having BP ( Blood Pressure ) now.

I asked mum to correct my woman and she agreed to educate her more about KITCHEN now that she's around us.

Finally, my woman came around to say SORRY.

I went out to get chicken, before I got back. They were watching THE TUDORS

Wedding things now.

*******
THE END.

Op, congrats. Finally you were able to resolve this conflict amicably.

Some people here were making all type of conclusions... how the mother was annoyed that the girl is a live-in lover and should take hike bla bla bla.

In some situation, you don't just rush into conclusion. If mama was indeed pissed that baby-gal was living with her son before marriage, what will it take to call the son and say "boy, I don't like the idea of co-habiting with a girl you are not married to, I want her to leave this house soonest "
It was all a kind of power show on the part of mama and I believe this will not be the last of this kind of power show. Even when op finally marries that girl, she better find a way of managing mama's ego or else....

warrior101:

LOL just listen to yourself... I take it that you don't like your mother (perhaps unknowingly to you)...

I Love my mum more than you can imagine. But op's thread touched a festering wound. My mum is not happy that am yet to settle down and am equally not happy. But I once had a chance to settle down with a woman of my dreams, if only mama had given her consent.

Op, it is your life, do with it what you will.
Am out of here.

KenGali:

Answer: Simply cause she is Mama, and has done a simple calculation of how to make them uncomfortable without rejecting the fine girl. So long guys!

But I said this thing earlier and you said it was not so. It is simply a show of power by MAMA. She wants to tell the girl that her son will always listen to her, and if op should do mama's bidding in this case he will simply kiss the girl goodbye. No woman want to marry mama's puppet.

Sisi_Kill:

Okay read your post again and please tell us how your story mirrors OP's?

A deaf, dumb and blind person can see the reason for his mother's objections. Yours on the other hand...based on your admission. ...your own mom had no reason, she just felt like hating. So different scenarios dude, different scenarios.

the op's scenario;
his babe was cooking yam and unfortuantely the gas finishes, and mama is complaining that babe is wasting food and ping's op to come and get his girlfriend out of the house.
Sisi-kill, is that a valid reason to instigate the break-up of a reltionship.

Mama met her son and his girlfriend as live-in lovers. Why did she not raise hell, if she is so concerned with MORALS? Why will she use, in op's word "yam and gas" as an excuse to tell her son to get the girl out of the house?

What is the valid reason in all this bruahaha?

.

Sisi_Kill:

LMFAO!

@ Topic
If there's one lesson to be learnt here, it is that any woman who conducts herself based on the rules set by men is setting herself up big time.

Then we have the other set telling him to lay the law down now and choose his girl because his momma won't fill the emotional gap the girl will leave behind.

I believe I fall into the second category. I write out of experience. I had a girl, I really Loved but had to let go because mummy was finding it hard to accept her for no just cause. Fast forward 4 years later and she is telling me that "if I had stood my ground, NO ONE would have had a choice but to ACCEPT HER".
For the Life of me, I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WOMEN.

KenGali: Apart from that, you are making it difficult for you to marry that girl. The fact that your mother waited for something like this, before reacting shows that she actually likes the girl. I advice you to let your girl stay with a friend, when you are gone she will come and apologise to mum, because yam is not the issue here? But utilise the yam issue. they will become best of friends, find alternative place for her to stay while your mother is around. she can visit, cook but not stay over while your mum is around.

Ken, if you an only son, you will agree with me that mama is just trying to tell girlfriend indirectly that "her son will always listen to her". So if op plays along with mama's wish, then he can as well kiss his babe goodbye.
No single woman wants a man who is little more than a puppet for mama. And no matter what, mama will not die if op refuses to grant her this one wish. Rather she will start acknowneldging the fact that her son is now a MAN.

YoungSalute:

Thank You

My man I have been through this type of drama. women get wahala, you are trying to please mama as well as please your girl.
From experience I will say, calm mama down but on no account should you kick your girl out (especially now that she knows that mama wants her out). If you kick your girl out now, you will be ending that relationship effectively (from experience) and you will resent mama so much that she will equally go back to her own house and leave you all alone.
The best way is to keep working your brian on how to please both 'drama queens'.
Mama met you living with your girl and she still moved in, so let her stay, but your girl stays also.

Am equally an Only Son, so I should know.

Winneygirl: @Op, Since U're nt married, Ur 'woman' no get mouth. Pls, let her leave Ur house.

4 peace sake!! 4 her own sake too!!!

It doesnt speak well 4 her 2 be on bad terms wt Ur Mum b4 U're married. If d house is dis heated up b4 U get married, Wat wud it be like when U get married

Abeg, dnt spend Ur time cooking a piece of rock. It would just not soften up.

Hope mummy will be ready to fill in the emotional gap that baby-gal will leave behind. Hope she won't start getting worried when op finds it hard to bring a woman home when she is final desperate to have a daughter in-law.

Op, na you know where the shoe dey pinch you.

KenGali:

Your mother knows you must marry, in fact part of her hope and purpose is that you will marry, to transcend yourself and her. So your reasoning makes no sense at all. I cannot imagine having a girl am not married to at home when my mother is visiting, that is called respect. You disrespected your mother, she has only chosen a flimsy issue to express it, cause she does not want to break your relationship. You are also a bit childish.

Ken, mama was on her own as in living alone before a robbery attack. The op was already living his babe before mama moved in, and according to op he wants to save 450k in a dire economy. Mama may want the lady out of op's house and by extent out of his life. But I hope mama has another lady that will replace the babe and hope that op will love the new babe wella.
If you have not been in a situation like this, you will not understand the dilemma op is going through.

donchris369:
SMH....Some women self, fighting with her boyfriend's mum and she will be expecting her mum to approve her son marrying her. Op if you like listen to all these ladies here on nairaland who dont see anything wrong in co-habiting with their boyfriends and throw your mum out of the house. Mtsheeew

The lady in op's life is not fighting with her boyfriend's mum. And people that commented earlier assumed the lady is op's wife, cos op did not provide the full gist. Getit.

YoungSalute: The gospel truth, we are not married like court or church thing. But intend to do so soon.

Staying together doesn't count because her place of work is close to my place. To save money for better things instead of wasting about 450K for a year.

Secondly, gas and yam caused everything.

My woman was cooking and the cooking gas got finished, because mum was hungry.

She got angry that she (my woman) didn't put the food inside fridge knowing well that gas had finished. She accused her ( my woman) of wasting food and trying to spoil the food that was half cooked.

Mum got angry, ping me immediately to say. Ask your girl to leave. I replied by saying explain why.

Thirdly , I can't ask my mum to leave not because I am indecisive. But I hate the fact that she is trying to impose things on me. I don't live with her, like I said. She's finding it so hard to stay alone after being attacked or robbed.

Okay, you are not yet married to the lady and mum is just angry cos she believe that your woman want to waste food thereby wasting money. I believe this is a one-off thing.
First try and talk to your woman, calm her down and equally re-assure her. Then as per 'mummy's boy' talk to mama and let her know that you appreciate her concern, but if you should send your woman away just like that it may cause a bigger problem in your budding relationship.

Women love petting, pet mama and equally pet baby-gal. But baby-gal must understand that you have to put up a show for mama, and that does not in anyway limit your love and affection for her.

ferhyntorlah:

I'm sorry Mr Abali1 but the bolded really got me thinking. Desperate situation calls for desperate measures.

I hate to be pressured into anything, and I understand that marriage is a life time commitment. I hope to settle down soon, but I still have to allow God to guide and guard me.
It's actually not easy being an only son.

asiwaju: @op,

Maybe i am the old school type,But my mother comes first,no discussion,so please talk to your wife,she should see reason and accept mama as she is,(no disrespectfull tone,dont talk when my mother talk)believe me all problem will be solved.

Asiwaju.

Please, what if the lady is truely innocent of all accusations? I ask this cos I have been in a situation where mum just dislike my ex for no reason at all, other than she wanted me to marry from our villa. Fast forward to 4 four years later, am still searching for a wife and she is beginning to beg me to bring 'any' girl home.

YoungSalute:
She reminds me of her investment from primary to university . Just weak, even scared to leave both of them at home

Op, happy new year.
I am equally an only son and sometimes mother can be over-bearing. But I believe you saw this coming and just ignored or you just wished it away.
I am not yet married but I know am not going to face you type of problem when I do. Because I have already taken measures to see that it does not happen.
First of all, you did wrong by allowing your mum to have a voice in your home. Before you married, you should spelt it out to her that 'you love her very much and can go to any length to please her, but she should never interfere in your affairs with women if she wants you to keep the promise of that love'.

My dear, some times Sons do 'threaten' their mothers with withdrawal of love and even disappearance, to achieve their set goals as a man. It is time you stamp your feet on the ground if you want to live in peace with the woman you love.

oluface: Okay na... Na so I called them police ooo make them go helep me arrest those boys wey beat me.. Make you dey here my people... Na so this police come tell me say before them go fit follow me.. Make I pay N5000 make them take buy fuel put for their moto... Even as I tell them say those boiz carry gun and cutlass... Them still say make I bring that 5k.. Na so I carry five thousand give them out of the money wey my oga gimme say make I help am buy pepper so mile 12.. As we come reach that arena wey those babalawo dey... Come see as my men in black commot for motor... Go dey pack pesin wey be say I no send them make them go pack... Pesin wey bring hin pikin come do jazz.. See police... Na so dem pack them put for motor... Mama of my boss.. Them pack am put for motor... All my boss siblings . Wey be 4 boiz.. Na so them put am for motor... Babalawo... Too join them ooo inside that motor... them pack one babalawo pikin join inside that motor... Fia fia fia fia... Na so we reach police station..... As we come reach police station na so babalawo dey beg me... Mama oga too dey beg me ooo ... I come dey tell police say see that woman and her pikin wey come on their own no join for the matter ... Them come on their own... Make them release them... Na so police release them... I tell police say those oga siblings wey them put for counter... Make them release them.. As them come release them.. E con remain Mama of my boss inside cell with babalawo.. I come tell the police way I no dey do case again... Make them release mama of my boss, see me see wahala... Na so police tell me say I must do case by force... Na so them cone go pack those boiz wey dey outside wey they wait for their mama make she come out of cell... Na so police go join them put again ooooo... My hand come fall say which kine wahala be this... As I dey think dey go oooo.. I come see DPO phone noba for the wall wey them right say BAIL IS FREE, FOR ANY INFORMATION CALL THIS NOBA... Na so I come call dpo come explain the issue for ram ooo... As the matter come worst .... DPO don shayo dieeeee... I beg beg beg say make he release this mama and him pikin... Omo... This man no gree oooo... He come tell me say them go carry the matter go court say make I comot for him front before he land slap for my face... To be continue...

bros, you just made my day....buahahahahahaha wtf

MOBBDEEP:

This act done to Osaze is not the way heroes are made & also it discourages patriotism & loyalty

This is all the message the coach is sending out to loyal and patriotic team members, "You can serve the nation a donkey years, but am gonna drop you if it tickles my fancy".
This type of attitude on the part of Nigerian leaders in all sectors is what breeds dis-loyalty in the people. If tomorrow, an experienced and good player decides to shun the national team, we will all be crying foul.
I am not holding forte for Osaze, but disgracing him out of the National team is hardly encouraging to dedicated and patriotic team members.

Every Nigerian is a 'Rare Gem' once you have died. RIP General, you were one of those that called a spade by it's true name but for some reason GEJ thought otherwise.
RIP

Politics / Re: Official Results Of Presidential Election: By INEC by Abali1( m): 7:40am On Apr 18 , 2011

First and foremost I congratulate Goodluck Jonathan, for winning the election. Nigerians have been making comments based on his victory, but what stands out in most of the comments is that Nigerians are still in the habit of PRAYING that the sitting President/ Elected president will have the wisdom and grace to lift the people out of poverty and misery. God gave us all the inherent will to act in our own self interest (in this case making our complaints/ desires heard by using our votes), but we choose to do one thing and ask God to come and correct our mistakes in the future. I will only be surprised if GEJ will positively turn around the country, but if he tows the line of his party and brings a colossal damage on all our heads, that will never surprise me. So I pray he implements policies that will be in the interest of the masses, so as to prove those of us that are DOUBTING THOMASES wrong. I WISH NIGERIANS GOODLUCK IN THE NEXT FOUR YEARS.

I WILL ONLY BE SURPRISED IF GEJ PROVES US DOUBTING THOMASES WRONG.
One and a half year has gone, we still have two and a half year more for him to prove us wrong.

Rhino.5dm:
Dude, why are you disturbed by the messenger and not the massage?

Why should I be disturbed by Tinubu or any other MALAISE that has befallen Nigeria? No am not disturbed, but some gullible ones will actually see this guy as the long awaited messiah while he is one of the problems why Nigeria is in this state.

Why do some men like so much controversy in their life. I have never been a fan of GEJ, but I don't think TINUBU should be the one to tell us that GEJ is a disappointment.
It's like Ibori accusing GEJ of Looting the treasury.
Or Bode George accusing OBJ of being an ex convict.

The most correct statement of this thread is the one by Sagamite, that "women are the most SELFISH of all beings".

If there is nothing in it for a woman, believe me she will walk. And for the Christain (ala Born Again) women, the WILL OF GOD is the wool they will use in covering your eyes.

emiye:

I am not in anyway encouraging what happened, those guys must be fished out and prosecuted.

When two adults are involved in a brawl, unfortunate incidents like this can happen.

I have heard cases of two people involved in a fight, a simple push from one to the other,results to a manslaughter.

They were not involved in a fight. The driver held on to his steering, the story did not say that he fought back.
Stop supporting evil, if it were your family member will you also be standing by this callousness.
INJUSTICE TO ONE IS INJUSTICE TO ALL

emiye:


but why evade arrest from a law enforcement agency ?, can he do that with a police man ?

Even if it were Army, the law enforcement officer should be able to specify the OFFENCE COMMITTED.
It is not everybody who is afraid to ask the question, "WHAT DID I DO?"

Moreover hitting the drivers head on the steering is uncalled for and simply barbaric. BRF should do something about this, because when the hunter becomes the hunted let no one cry foul.

RIP, Nigerians are still dying in road accidents due to Government negligence.

Merry Christmas to you all

kulyie: any properly trained/manered human being will not perform such repulsive act.parents have a larger percentage of influence on a person's behaviour

To an extent home training goes a long way to influence a person's action/inactions. But there are so many 'horrible' human beings who has the best parental training anyone can wish for his/her kids, but the still turn out to be horrible.
We have heard of so many well trained kids who do the unimaginable and you begin to ask "where did they learn that from?"

I know the OP's hubby is disgusting, but dragging his parents and family into this is not just right.
My opinion.

kulyie:
his entire family will go through hell before i back off.he will have to apologize prostrating wherever he did that act including his parents otherwise i will use everything am worth to reduce him to a nonentity

I am sorry if it seems as if I am stalking you. But why do you have to bring in his entire family & parents.... ahn ahn Kulyie. Are you in anyway suggesting that his parents or family members are the ones who asked him to spit on his wife.

eehm, Kulyie, I don't really see where you got there idea from my post that I support pregnancy before marriage.

1.companionship:
please in all sincerity women these days prefere to be companions to their career.

2.helping and complementing each other:
if you reflect on this the man, you will agree with me that the present day Nigerian woman hardly bring much to the table. If they were helping & complementing (forgive my generalization) their men, you will be seeing fewer divorce cases or broken homes.

Helping does not only mean cooking & doing house chores. It will equally means helping in some of those areas that 'we' normally see as a man's forte.

Complementing, a wife is suppose to cover up for the husband. I mean a wife is suppose to project the best image of the husband to the world. A wife & her husband is suppose to present a formidable front against those outside their marriage.
But today, a wife is the first to reveal to friends & foes her husbands weak points. When as a wife you leak info about the weak points of your husband or your marriage either by ommission or delibrately, why then do you act surprise when the enemy uses the same leaked Achiles heal to attack your home.

I believe s,ex is not the only purpose of marriage, but why do marriage counsellors keep on yapping about the need for couples to have a fulfilling se,x life in their marriage. And I have also come across where it is stated that most marriage problems originates from se,x and finance.
Moreover the bible clearly says, go into the world and multiply.

Abeg I still dey single oooh, so pardon my arrogance and ignorance.

kulyie: you make it seem like the only reason for marriage is sex and children and you make it seem like thats the only thing women have to offer.what the hell is wrong wit u men that you lack self control like this

Abeg Kulie, what else is major reason/reasons for me to get married, if not for children and legally having s,ex with a clean conscience?

@op, your cousin at 34 know what she wants for herself. If I were you, I will advice her to free the guy and look for another guy who is ready to abide by her principles. Unless she can find a way to convince her guy to take her to the alter without getting pregnant.

It is becoming clearer that the owner of NL does not care much about Nigeria. He is rather after the traffic that his site attracts.
I don't really blame him, it is all about the money. Nigeria can e-burn for all Seun and his MOD's care.

@Op, the problem as you rightly stated is the pride in 'paper qualification'. No one wants to sweat it out, but everyone wants to live large.
I have paper qualification, up to Masters level. But I work in govt. parastatal/ministry in my state. The pay is simply poor, but I have to take it because I consider it as a montly pocket allowance.
I recently ventured into the murky waters of Transport Biz. Before I gave out my car to driver, I first shuttle the car for a period of two months. I got to rapour with the agberos and park managers, in short I became a part time agbero myself, in other to familiarize myself with the business.
I have not gotten to my destination, but I am moving. Paper qualification is just paper qualification. And you can never be as rich as you want to be, working for some other person.
Enterprenuership is the way to go for youths who are focused.