greetings:
Salam, although in yoruba proverbs. ."agbo ejo enikan da,agba osika ni".... maybe you're even at fault,or you added to the issues...or you're both at fault.... but let me just play along and just talk based on your post.

Do you know that there's nothing like "irreconcilable difference" IMHO. ... If both parties are willing to compromise and make it work...like sincerely.
The moment you think it's the responsibility of the woman or man only to make it work...then you're brewing discontent already.

Back to the matter,I deduced that "maybe" the relationship between you both is influenced by your families. ..and trust me that can only end in a disaster. You have to build your home. ,.both of you... decide what's best for you and (your kids).... set the rules,boundaries and keep to it together and the relationship will thrive.
Love is transient, and subjective, and you need to learn to love...you can. You build your own world.....you both need to show yourselves love and respect. .

Leave your extended families out of it unless it is ABSOLUTELY necessary. Talk to her,sit down and decide how you both want it to work out and stick to it, please I know it's not easy as a man to compromise but try to. If that doesn't work, withdraw from her deliberately and see if she feels the effects and ask what she did wrong.... (that's a good sign) so use that avenue to communicate with her again.... If this doesn't work.... One of you is SELFISH and INSINCERE! And that will not work!

Marriage is a beautiful thing, it's like a new bud that has just 2 or 3 leaves, you need to care for it,keep predators aways and nuture it.

If these doesn't work, then you can consider divorcing her,be very compassionate in doing that give her her rights,belongings and peacefully separate from her. ... no one knows tomorrow.

May Allah rectify your affairs and grant you goodness! Amin

I hope this helps!

jazakallahu khayran for this advice.

Dullahi:
What did you do to her that made her change?

Invite trusted members from both sides of the family and try to work things out.

Bear sabr.

The two families(parents/siblings) are at loggerhead.

it advisable to continue staying in a marriage where there is no love because wife disrespected me and my parents and if i am too part with her how do i do it that she wont be hurt too much because the love is no longer there and I pity her.