Man, u have months left to go, u have at least some money, so what's your problem? Don't u think u r stressing about things that r not worth it?

Look, I heard about my own wedding day (this January) about 1 week in advance. I was as broke as can be, without job, dress, without sewing machine. My husband to be was only slightly better off than myself (that is, at least had a student part time little job). I bought the most decent dress in TK Max I could afford and did some final touch-ups on it, ofc no white was available but green is also nice I had no idea where all the food in the church came from, I mean, ofc it came from different church members, same way as we always do bday parties. No one wants to disclose where the wedding cake came from. In the rush I forgot about flower, so I borrowed one from the altar for the ceremony and then returned it, God would understand  We even got flower girls from somewhere. Ok, I'm not saying we impressed everyone regarding our social status. But guess what - it was FUN and everyone had a great time and good laugh! And now I have a wonderful husband. Life is beautiful, thank God 

yeah he has issues without doubt
that only proves she must take care of her happiness herself

Dear Kimbaby,

sorry but reading ur post i don't feel like u r asking for advice on how to make things better. U r asking for a judgement. U might feel hurt and quite right to do so, but the problem is, it's not gonna make it any better. Point ur finger at him, convince the jury, get an army, but that way u r only making urself an enemy in him.

What if he posted a topic and asked for judgement on his wife, who always complains, doesn't take care of herself, always asks for more money, doesn't support his social life? What do u think ppl here would tell him? How would u feel? Would u love him more? I certainly would NOT.

It's no longer about who is right and who is wrong. U both ve done good and bad but judging and accusing leads nowhere. U need more of a life. Also a job, even a little one. Some fresh air and also a motivation / reason to be proud of urself. There is so much u can do even with a little child in scarf, without hiring nanny. It's not like u have to provide for the whole family, but u should always be able to take care of ur girlie things and needs without having to beg, or even explain. When u r fair and kind to urself, u will be happier, have more confidence and be able to treat ur husband more fairly.

I'm a new wife myself. Have read this topic from start and must say I'm amazed by reactions of ppl here
How empathetic, supportive and listening some ladies here are, regardless of their cultural beliefs. And how so many people react as if they had been personally attacked by dagger.

Guys, does it really hurt so much? She didn't give any names or something. She is just anonymously asking for help cause she obviously feels lost. You think it's easy? Wtf you think she should do? It takes time to get to used to someone you have chosen for life and, then discovered that you have to learn to love a whole another specie from another planet, with a totally different sexuality than ur own. Can be both man and woman. There is a lifetime to learn what the word One really means. On the way the are struggles and people fall sometimes. But throwing stones on someone who has fallen on the road, which might be of thirst,

So please be so kind and only contribute constructively. If u can't help, leave the stones for the holy ones and try to work on own marriage. Or if u can, help.

But that was said about love and trust. Marriage is another story. Ofc u should only marry someone who has proved he can be at least relatively trusted That means, u should put him through a sh.tload of "innocent" tests and see how he acts and reacts to this and that, a good marriage material should score at least 75%

True love is unconditional. True trust is deserved. U can choose to love even ur enemies, but u can't choose to trust someone just because u decide to. U can try to, but at the of the day the truth will show up and all ur preconceptions and good intentions will be revealed as worthless. And once ur hopes and illusions about someone r shattered to pieces, u can look inside ur heart and see if u can still love. If u can, good for u. Having unshakable love is much worthier than believing in illusions

Theoretically - why not, if it's cool for everyone concerned, which includes also the other spouse.

Practically - what if that person who only occasionally sent you happynuyear or happybday e-cards over the last few years suddenly shows a big warm interest to be a guest at your wedding I don't think i would be happily ready to divide my attention (already overloaded by the whole wedding thing) between my husband and that "special friend I haven't seen for ages" exactly at my wedding day.

Btw people, who says a man who is not virgin is a good lover, or "knows his way around" ??   Can anyone be experienced enough to know what i need and like?

Poster, i think the problem is not whether women globally are more likely to be good or bad. That's just lottery.

The real problem is that with this "paranoia" or how u call it, u r extremely likely to attract exactly the kind of woman u most fear. That's Law of attraction. But it can get even worse than that. U might also find a fair woman with the best intentions, but ur unfair jelousy is very likely to drive her crazy first and then commit exactly what u anticipate from her so ferociously. Because, u know, if u gonna be hanged anyway, at least let it be for a lamb,

Just imagine how u would feel urself, should she accuse u of things u havent done, call u a cheat or treat u like one, presuming automatically that u have no integrity at all?