i dont know oh but i think some point can be helpful

It is not easy for people to find a good man, and to be honest it is not easy for a man to find a good person. This is written from a man's perspective to help frustrated people that are sincerely looking for a good man but keep finding losers.
Steps

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1
Be yourself. When you meet someone for the first time, you may be tempted to be someone you're not, such as "putting on your best face". There's nothing wrong with wanting to make a good impression. However, it is possible to take this too far and in turn repel men. The same applies with myths about dressing sexy and excessive flirtation. If you do not respect your body, you will only attract men who have a similar lack of respect for you and your body, and a good man will find it more difficult to take you seriously. Be yourself, and a real man will respect you.
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2
Have a life. Desperate, dramatic, and clingy relationships are often rooted in a feeling of need and desperation for a man to fill your life. Even if you have low self-esteem, work over time to build it. Pursue your goals and be focused, explore your passions, have an interesting life, do things that take you outside your boundaries. Don't put up a tough exterior to get over shyness; gradually learn to build trust with a network of people, so that your boyfriend isn't the only person you open up to and share your life with. Also remember to trust yourself first. If you can't trust yourself, you are likely to not trust your man.
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3
Be relaxed and cool. Most guys hate it when their partners are possessive, moody, clingy, controlling, etc. Learn to relax, and have fun. We all have too much going on in our lives; don't be the high maintenance "drama queen". Having someone around who makes life more difficult than enjoyable will make a man lose interest. If you do things like show genuine concern when the man has had a rough day, it will earn his respect and go toward winning him over and a good man will reciprocate. Remember that most men, especially the good ones, are looking for someone with whom they can be comfortable, and not someone who is always intense.
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4
Realize differences in communication. Men can often miss the subtle messages that people send in their body language. Don't judge a guy because of this; it's just the way men are. Subtle body language like smiles only make a man think that you might like him; he can't assume it means you're interested without being accused of being a self-absorbed jerk. To drive the point home, gradually introduce more "obvious" body language like playful touches on the arm, playful banter and teasing, winks, inside jokes, playfulness, or (when you know him better) attempts to find a man's ticklish spots. (Don't be afraid to kindly tease him over minor things - people who pretend a man is perfect are regarded as weak in their eyes.) Flirting will not only show him you like him enough to get that physical and playful, but also help to break the physical barrier and allow a man to feel more comfortable making a few advances to you. But don't forget to look at how he is reacting to you.
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5
Take a good look at yourself. Psychological studies have shown that people seek out partners to fill a psychological void. Sometimes these voids are unhealthy; for example a woman who is unhealthy will actually seek out any man for the "high of seduction" or to get attention and feel desirable. Look inside yourself and ask yourself why you want a man so badly, be truly honest with yourself, and, if need be, talk to a therapist about this. Someone with issues only attracts a guy with issues as well, and a good, real man doesn't want anything to do with someone who has more issues than TIME magazine. If you want a good, healthy relationship with a real man, make certain that your own mental state and intentions are healthy.
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6
Drop the games. Nobody likes a partner who plays "head games". This is deceptive, and will hurt anybody who trusts you. Be real, don't play games, and good men will respect you and may even pursue you. Playing head games will only make good men run away. Remember the communication thing? That is especially true here. If you like a guy, don't push him away and act like you don't like him. Tell him. Yes, there are some men who do like the thrill of the chase, but all good men genuinely want to respect you and your wishes, and will leave you alone if you insist on it. Remember, men communicate directly; if you act like you don't want him, he'll think you don't want him.
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7
Treat him with respect. This is the most important thing of all. Men hate being around someone who emasculates them, and a good man won't take long to leave such a person. Don't be afraid to help your man feel good about himself. A little known secret is that men are just as insecure as women. If he's with his friends or family be open to opportunities to let your man look like "the man". It will win his love and respect.
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8
Don't be afraid to make a move. Let's be real: a good man doesn't desperately need any person; he would like to meet a good person. If he's a good man, he will appreciate the compliment to his attractiveness, at the very least. But remember that compliments are usually given to acquaintances - people who are intimate usually have a more honest connection, with playful teasing and banter. Think of good relationships between brothers and sisters, parents and children, especially couples - they're always joking, laughing, teasing, flirting in a positive way. A woman who is always complimenting may simply be boring and look desperate. Even if you are old-fashioned and never want to be the woman who asks a man for a date, you can still go out of your way to talk to him, and arrange to be with him. Don't overdo this, however; unless he is already attracted to you before the encounter, the more obvious it is that you've put a ton of time into the encounter without his direct encouragement, the more desperate and less attractive you look. Work on building attraction first.
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9
Respect yourself. If you say no, he should stop. If he doesn't stop, leave. Don't ever be uncomfortable saying no. Don't go against your morals to try to keep a guy. If you feel this is necessary, then either he's not a good man, or he is a good one but simply isn't a good match for you specifically (e. g. he is currently "playing the field" and is up front and honest about it, but you're looking for an exclusive relationship). Don't be uncomfortable saying yes, either. If you feel the time is right, believe in your worth and don't worry that you're "giving yourself away." You respect yourself and you're confident that he'll come back for more! A man who doesn't respect you in the morning never properly respected you to begin with, and a man who doesn't respect your wishes to wait is too impatient to make a good partner. Either way, find someone else.
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10
Follow the Golden Rule. That means apply the same rules to yourself that you'd apply to others, including him. Real men do in fact notice this; they just don't scream it out. For example, if he tells you he has a girlfriend and things are not working out, Stop! and think ladies and gentlemen that this could be a "test" on how you would handle the situation, so stand your ground and cut off communication (hint: "Golden Rule". Second example: if you do want to try finding his ticklish spots, then don't complain one bit if he tries finding yours in return. Don't go on about how you "don't NEED no man!" or about "men this, men that" if you don't want him treating you the same way. DO, on the other hand, treat him--and others--with respect, dignity, and honor. Others will notice, too, and who knows--if they know you want a good, real man but don't yet have one, they just might introduce you to one!
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11
Don't be clingy. This means, don't show that you love this person by being near them all the time. They need their space and they need to know that you don't need to follow them everywhere they go. Most of all, they need to know that you have your own life.
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12
Do some helpful research. If you want to read more on how to get a man, there's a good e-book that could be useful: www.howtogetaman.org
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13
Don't lower your standards just because you can't find a good guy. Respect yourself and you will find someone who respects you too.

Relationship Warning Signs

You never turn to each other for emotional support. You look to other people first.
Your partner actively tries to cut you off from your support network of friends and family.
Your partner implies that you are stupid, or that they are "the smart one” in the relationship; they try to dissuade you from trying something new because “you probably won’t understand it.”
Your partner doesn’t respect your answer when you say “no” to something.
Your partner implies that they only value you for one thing, whether it be sex, your looks, or your ability to earn money.
You can’t identify any ways you’ve positively influenced each other. For example, you haven’t adopted any of each other’s interests or taught each other any new skills.
You can identify ways you've negatively influenced each other, particularly harmful habits like heavy drinking, laziness, or smoking.
Your partner doesn’t make you feel good about your body; they point out your thinning hair or saggy underarm skin.
You don’t have a sense of relationship security—you’ve broken up or almost broken up numerous times.
You end up doing things you’re ashamed of in the course of interacting with each other, such as screaming at each other in front of your kids.
Your partner is dismissive of your emotions, especially fear, such as when you say you’re scared because they drive too fast or erratically but they won’t slow down.
Your partner involves you in unethical activities, such as lying on official forms you both sign.
You feel worse about yourself as a person than when you started the relationship—you’re less confident and can see fewer positive qualities about yourself.
You don’t feel able to get your partner’s attention when you want to talk about something important.
Your partner mocks you, such as poking fun at your voice or facial expressions in a mean way.
Your partner doesn’t seem interested when you experience success, or they belittle your success.
You don’t feel able to confide in your partner. If you were to reveal something that you’re sensitive about, you’re not sure if they’d react respectfully or helpfully.
Your partner makes jokes about leaving you or teases you about what their "second" wife or husband will be like.
When you’re not physically together, it feels like "out of sight, out of mind.” For example, your partner is on an international trip and says they’ll call when they arrived safely at the hotel but doesn’t follow through.
When you and your partner disagree, they insist you do things their way or leave. It’s their way or the highway, and you don’t have a sense that when you disagree you’ll find a way of coming together.
You’re not sure how dependable, supportive, or reliable your partner would be in a situation in which you really needed them; for example, if you or a close family member got cancer.
You blame your partner for your life not being as satisfying as you’d like it to be—or they blame you.
Your partner is dismissive of your interests and projects. They judge the things you do by how important they perceive them to be, rather than how important they are to you.
Stonewalling. You or your partner flat-out refuse to talk about important relationship topics, such as the decision to have a baby.
You don’t think your partner would make a good parent.
There are times you avoid coming home because going to Starbucks, or a bar, is more relaxing after a stressful day than coming home to your partner.
Your life together seems out of control; for example, you both spend much more than you earn.
You can’t think of ways in which you and your partner make a great team.
Your partner is the source of negative surprises, such as large unexpected charges on your joint credit card.
You catch your partner lying repeatedly.
Your partner goes out but doesn’t tell you where, or fails to arrive home when expected and has no explanation.
You worry that your partner might get so angry they’d hurt you.
You have a sense of being trapped in the relationship.
When you argue, one or both of you always just gets defensive. You can never acknowledge that the other person has some valid points.
When you argue, you just blame each other rather than each accepting some blame.
You’re very critical of each other, and you feel constantly nitpicked about the ways you’re not “good enough.”
Your partner complains about you to their friends or family.
You find yourself lying to other people because you’re ashamed of your partner’s behavior; for example, making excuses for why they haven’t shown up to an event as planned.
You feel lonely when you’re together.
If you had to rate your partner on a scale of 1 to 10 on qualities like warmth, trustworthiness, and dependability, you would rate them lower than 5.
You can’t recall a time when your partner has compromised so that you could take up an opportunity.
There is an absence of affection in your relationship—you rarely kiss, touch, or smile at each other.
Your partner is coercive when it comes to sex.
Your partner sees themselves as having a much higher "mate value" than you. They think you're lucky to have them, but not the reverse.
Your partner keeps you at arms length emotionally. You don't have a healthy sense of interdependence.
Your partner frequently compares you unfavorably to other people, especially friends' spouses or partners.
When you argue, it quickly escalates to ultimathreats—"If you don't ..., I'll ..."
You can think of several friends or colleagues whom you'd rather be in a relationship with.
Cheating.
The other “C” word, "Crazy." If you call each other "crazy" during arguments, it’s a pretty bad sign. It shows that you’re no longer willing to listen to each other’s point of view because you’ve written it off as irrational.
Relationship violence.

Note: This post was influenced by various scientific models of relationships, including work on Emotion Focused Therapy, Gottman Therapy, and Garth Fletcher's Ideal Standards Model.

Sometimes we find ourselves in relationships that make us miserable more often than they make us happy, relationships that we know in our hearts are not right, yet still have a hold on us. If you're feeling stuck in a dead-end relationship that keeps drawing you back in, here are some research-based strategies you may not have considered to end it for good and get on with your life:

1. Don't mistake addiction for love.

This is tricky because, the two are very similar—studies have shown that when romantic partners who are intensely in love are exposed to photographs of their beloved, the brain regions that become activated are the same regions that are activated in cocaine addicts when they are craving cocaine. But even if love has some addiction-like qualities, healthy love is likely to involve other qualities as well, such as respect, trust, and commitment, qualities that keep a relationship strong even on those days when excitement and passion are not at the forefront. Addictive love, by contrast, tends to be more singularly focused on attaining those "highs," whatever the cost. Partners whose behavior is unpredictable (e.g., they don't call when they say they will), are, unfortunately, especially likely to keep you hooked, since their inconsistent affection keeps you on your toes—and wanting more. If you are trying to break free from a relationship that feels more like an addiction than a loving bond, one strategy is to reframe your thoughts and emotions about that person as if he or she is a cold, clinical biological process, in order to gain a healthy distance. For example, after a week of not calling, you feel a wave of longing in your chest and think, "But I really do love him (or her)... I should call right now..." Instead, you could simply notice that sensation and tell yourself, "Interesting. There goes my caudate nucleus releasing dopamine and producing a sensation of longing. OK, back to work."

2. Give yourself a break.

Your friends and family may fall into two general categories—those who make you feel good about yourself, always reassuring you that your partner really does love you and that everything will work out in the end, and those who make you feel bad about yourself, with subtle or not-so-subtle implications that you must be crazy, weak, or pathetic to stay with such a loser. You may find yourself drawn to both of these types of supports—on the one hand, you want to feel comforted, but on the other, you need motivation to make a change. One way to give yourself both comfort and encouragement without deluding yourself or berating yourself is to be more self-compassionate. Self-compassion involves reassuring yourself that you're not a horrible person, that it's understandable to be attached to someone against your better judgment, and that a lot of other people go through this kind of thing, too. Self-compassion also involves caring for yourself and wanting to do what's best for yourself, as a parent would a child—which means not staying in a relationship that's hurting you. For more on increasing self-compassion, see Dr. Kristin Neff's Psychology Today blog.

3. Lock yourself into a plan.

Research suggests (link is external) that people are best at making lasting changes when they come up with specific implementation intentions, or "if/then" plans. These plans have been shown to help people avoid temptation, meet health goals, and even avoid stereotyping outgroup members. You may currently have a lot of default "if/then" connections that are not working in your favor, such as, "If I feel lonely and miss [the partner], then I call him or her and ask him or her to come over." Instead, you could replace this default "then" with a behavior that is likely to make you feel better in the long run, such as calling a good friend or listening to an empowering album. The more you practice making a different decision whenever the "if" stimulus arises, the more automatic the link will become, and the easier it will be to resist the old pattern.
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4[b]. Defy cognitive dissonance.[/b]

Our minds have a sneaky way of justifying our actions so that we never have to feel like we did something stupid or made a mistake, a phenomenon known as cognitive dissonance (link is external). This is the reason we tend to be more loyal to groups that we suffered to get into (e.g., a fraternity with intense hazing) and the reason why we find ourselves derogating the job we turned down once we make the final decision to go with another (post-decision dissonance). It's also one of the reasons it's so hard to break free of bad relationships, especially when we've been in them for a long time. Unless a relationship suddenly takes a turn for the worst after being smooth sailing before, ending it often means coming to terms with the fact that for a long time we didn't end it, and that that was a mistake. If we can't come to terms with this, we might find ourselves continuing to justify our present commitment to the relationship, which in turn justifies our past decision to stay in it. Being aware of the way your mind can play tricks on you can help you avoid this trap.

5. Own your decision.

Ending a relationship can be a long and painful struggle, and it's not easy to do it alone. You will need a good support team to keep you on track and help you fill your life with healthy, positive activities. But ultimately the decision to end a relationship is yours, and succumbing to pressure from those around you is unlikely to last very long. When all else fails, sometimes it helps to step back and ask yourself, point blank, What do I really want? Only you know the answer.

jezz.....Chelsea fans hope una still de

I'm proud to belong here..........

Arsenal .....I lack word today oh....coz I don't no what ia happening....but take hrt

thank u man u......that was wow

man u plz make me proud.....plz I love u guys

true.....from my experience....I will be asking from the gate,,, who is your referrer? do you know anybody here? we can't allow u in.

Good evening all..
Please I will like to know workforce group new address because they are no longer at plot 84 omuma close in Ruomogba estate.
Thanks

Touchinglives:
send me a pm

I don't no how to go about it ...and I can't remember my password for the email since I haven't use it for long...wud send u a mail with my new email. Thanks

Please where is workforce group address in port Harcourt..... I was at plot 84 omuma close at Ruomoagba estate and I was told that they left there 2 years ago. Plz what and where is their new address

Good morning all...
I am seriously in need of job in port Harcourt,
I don't care the nature of the job and the environment since I don't have cash to start up business.
I'm tired of people always telling me to start up something without giving you any token ...
Please anyone with any information....I don't select job for now so long as I get my cash at the end of the month....nothing is too small to start with.
Thanks

Any job opening in port Harcourt??
I'm in need of job oh ...

I studied business mgt/administration...I want to go un to HRM where do I start and what course can I register online.
I Will prefer to study online

that is d phone

plz how can I get touch pad for Zpad tab

good morning fam,
plz I don't have service since yesterday in my airtel line and as such I can't call the customers Care to no if it General problem.
plz is anyone experiencing d same thing.
I have removed the SIM fix back no way
plz anything to do regarding to this problem
thanks

taraba said till further noticed, I thought d pv is world wide....or some state have their own time
.

shit happens especially in the north.......most of this girls in secondary schools hummm... some principal will even inform male corpers to be careful with them.....

do u mean serious relationship or just fling

Shroud:




On a sober note, going into a relationship with one who just broke off from another relationship so soon is foolishness, as he may be looking for distraction from the hurts and pains of the failed relationship.

Besides, the oldest tricks in the dating book is claiming he just broke off with his girlfriend.

On a lighter note, You need basic writing skills more than you need a boyfriend.

You can edit the post to your own satisfaction..... And u can make use of words that will be more OK for u since u are above mistakes.. Smh

Evaberry:



Don't believe any online guy, most of them are liars who will use you for their selfish games, I don't subscribe to online love because most guys are different from what they portray online and they will only invite you to use u for sex and company for meanwhile. don't add the girl it's childish and immature.

As for heart break, don't be scared baby girl, if it happens you get up, dust yourself, and move on.

No Man is worth your tears

Thanks....not scared but dear u no is not a good experience .especially if u are this reserved type and someone u trusted so much prove u otherwise...

Lalas247:
If you need advice from his ex to know whether to date him or not
My dear you are not ready for a relationship .....

Thanks so much....sometimes we get confused specially in a situation like this

And I notice something... Each time I try asking him something about the girl, he will short me in....he said he has been calling the girl but she is not picking blablabla

Seriously I don't want to be a victim again....I think I rather stay as iam than to venture into another Un serious business

TINALETC3:
Wen we fall out of a relationship, we hurriedly jump in 2 anoda one, nt bc we luv d person bt bc we need a shoulder to lean on. He once shared feelings wt his "ex" while u were jst a "mere" frnd. Despite d fact dat dey ar no longer 2geda,if him and his ex ar stl keeping in touch even wt jst "hi" or "greetings", it wl b 90% easier 4 d feelings he once shared wt his ex 2 reconnect dan 4 hm 2 develope genuine feelings 4 u.he may wnt 2 use u 2 cool off his pains, so Let hm b.

Thanks dear.. This is d real truth coz it seems most of his family members know the said girl and most often time we charted... He always said he love d girl and majority of those time ..the girl happen to always be at his house

Happy Sunday fam., plz i need advice on this matter. Have been without a relationship for awhile. There is this guy that i have been chartting with for like for years but we haven't meet . So recently he told me that him and his girl broke up and he said he want to see me............. Plz i want to ask if is alright to add the said girl as my friend on Facebook coz i don't want to be a victim of hrt break again..i want to be sure if the guy is saying d truth....is it right or not

whereis the chat

dingbang:
Please define un-meet.. Cuz its not in the dictionary

must every word be in the dictionary?

IamKashyBaby:


We cant avoid meeting worthless/ rubbish ppol along the way but we have an option to choose who gonna stay on our side..

These worthless ppol tho, they will redefine ur personality as well as the way u view ur perspective as a whole...

So, i really never regret it coz i've learned from them..

"LIFE IS SHORT & LIFE IS TOUGH BUT YOU HAVE TO ENJOY IT"

I agree with you dear