Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,171,729 members, 7,882,465 topics. Date: Sunday, 07 July 2024 at 06:25 AM

Amsisawa's Posts

Nairaland Forum / Amsisawa's Profile / Amsisawa's Posts

(1) (of 1 pages)

Business To Business / Re: For Your Cosmetics Supply by amsisawa(m): 3:31pm On Apr 06, 2011
i wanted to start a cosmetics business, how much capital do need?
Career / Re: Cbn Calling For Test by amsisawa(m): 10:23am On Jan 23, 2009
where did you get this Bullshit info about the change of the date? please dont mislead your brothers and Sisters.
TAYOOLU:

HI, ALL NAIRALANDER .

DIS IS TO INFORMED U ALL THAT THE TEST HAS BEEN POSTPONED.

PLS. READ FROM BELOW.

CHEERS,
ADEYEMI TAYO.

You are viewing: Home > CBN Test
Search



Fitc FITC ANNOUNCMENT
FITC Announcement

The Financial Institutions Training Center (FITC) hereby announces that,all candidates short listed for the CBN Recruitment are advised of the postponement of the test previously scheduled for Saturday 24 January,2009.

A new date for the test will be communicated to all short listed candidates later.

Please cancel all plans you had made on account of all previous announcement or correspondence received from us.

The inconvienences caused by this postponement are highly regretted.



Career / Re: Cbn Calling For Test by amsisawa(m): 9:32am On Jan 19, 2009
pal please help, am invited for the test too
Business / Re: Used Computers: How Is The Market? by amsisawa(m): 11:47am On Jul 05, 2007
I am Also interested in this Bussiness, I will be glad to be your dealer in North East and some part of North West.
feel free to contact me on amsisawa@yahoo.com am always online
Adverts / Re: I Need Good Distributors For My Magazine by amsisawa(m): 9:26am On Feb 20, 2007
I also wish to be part of thedistribution chain, I can be your distributor in Bauchi, Jigawa, Kano and possibly Gombe State.
Please contact me ASAP amsisawa@gmail.com
Jokes Etc / Re: Abacha Is Not Dead by amsisawa(m): 4:28pm On Aug 24, 2006
stop abusing our leaders
Jokes Etc / Re: How To Get Women - Video by amsisawa(m): 4:48pm On Jul 05, 2006
I will pay when it work grin grin grin grin grin
Jokes Etc / Re: How To Get Women - Video by amsisawa(m): 12:47pm On Jul 03, 2006
Oga seun can u give me some to spay?
Jokes Etc / Re: Negro Prayer by amsisawa(m): 11:33am On Jun 30, 2006
Ameen
Jokes Etc / Re: Go To Google by amsisawa(m): 10:47am On Jun 29, 2006
even without typing any word the result look same
Jokes Etc / Re: Who Is At Fault? by amsisawa(m): 10:27am On Jun 29, 2006
whao, both are cheating each other
Jokes Etc / New Mobile Phone Rule by amsisawa(m): 2:50pm On Jun 26, 2006
Somebody send this to may box long time ago

According to a proposed new law that would go into effect Jan 1, 2006 you will no longer be able to use a cell phone while driving unless you have a "hands free" adapter. I went to Circuit City and they wanted $50 for a headset with a microphone for my cell phone. Having a friend in the cell phone business, I talked with him and was able to come up with an alternative, working through Office Depot.

These kits are compatible with any! mobile phone and one size fits all. I paid him $0.08 each because he bought in quantity. Then we tried it with Motorola, Sprint, Verizon and Nokia units and they worked perfectly.

A photo is attached so scroll down & take a look and let me know if you want one. Also, forward this to anyone you know, who has a cell phone, and who may want one!

Jokes Etc / Secretary 's Resume! by amsisawa(m): 12:54pm On Jun 23, 2006
Don't Laught




Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can
Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole
really seam to respond to me belly well.

I´m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru
my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to
pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. .

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,
Peggy May Starlings
Jokes Etc / Visitors by amsisawa(m): 1:35pm On Jun 19, 2006
Will you feed these visitors if they knock on your Door with empty Stomach

Jokes Etc / Re: Imagine Scam Malaki Ahmed by amsisawa(m): 2:49pm On Jun 08, 2006
the first time I received the massage , i was thinking of replying him so that i can make him be in the fool of his blood
Jokes Etc / Re: Imagine Scam Malaki Ahmed by amsisawa(m): 4:41pm On Jun 07, 2006
I receive almost the same massage

read

FROM:IBRAHIM ISSA
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT.
BANK OF AFRICA (BOA)
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.
STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL.
Dear, friend,
I write to introduce this urgent/important business opportunity to you irrespective of the fact that we have not seen or known each other before believing that it will be of immense benefit to both of us.
Let me formally introduce myself. I am MR IBRAHIM ISSA, the assistance manager of the BANK OF AFRICA (BOA) OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO , I got your contact through network online in my earnest search,for a reliable individual who can assist me to make this transaction a reality with my believe in Allah that you will never let me down.
There is an outstanding sum of US$11.3million(Eleven million,three hundred thousand United States Dollars) that belong to one of our late foreign customer Mr. Andrea B. Smith who died with his
family in a plane crash that took place in Abdjan, Wast Africa a Miner in the Kruger Gold Company, a geologist by profession.
The banking laws and guidelines here stipulates that if Such fund remains unclaimed for five years, and no body apply to the bank as his or her next of kin to the deceased the fund will be transferred into the bank treasury as unclaimed fund.
Although personally, I kept this information secret within myself to enable the whole plans and idea be Profitable and successful during the time of execution. Meanwhile, all the whole arrangement to put claim over this fund as the bonafide next of kin to the deceased has been made, and all information will be provided to you as soon as you indicate your interest and willingness to assist me.
I am contacting you because of the need to involve a foreigner with account and foreign beneficiary, I need your full co-operation to make this work out fine because the management is ready to approve this payment to a foreigner who has the correct information of this account which I will provide to you. Should this interest you? kindly furnish me with your private phone and fax numbers for easy communication.
Meanwhile, I am prepared to make sure that the bank transfer this sum of US$11.3Million to your account with my position now in the office, I can transfer the money to any foreigner's reliable account which you can provide with assurance that this money will be intact pending my physical arrival in your country for sharing. I will destroy all documents of transaction immediately we receive this money leaving no trace to any place. And will also use my position and influence to effect legal approvals and onward transfer of the money to your account with appropriate clearance.
I have resolved to compensate you by briefing a brokerage commission of 40%net per-transfer expenses you may incur,5% set aside for general expenses, and 55% US$ will be for me and I guarantee you that all expenses during the transfer are subject to refund. Most importantly, I must emphasize that this business requires the utmost confidentiality and trustworthiness. We need to make an agreement that will bind us together and the same will protect individual interest in the near future.
In recognition to your personal executive power and investment opportunities that is bond in your country,do know that I have it in mind to establish a genuine business relationship with you in the nearest future, if you will be able to help me in order to expedite action, let me receive your approval or reply through the above addrress or Please accept my compliments, as I await your kind response through the above e-mail address.
THANKS. IBRAHIMISSA
Jokes Etc / Re: They Don Decieved Una Today 29th Again Abi? by amsisawa(m): 11:39am On May 30, 2006
make u put this one on National Dailys not on Naija Jokes lol
Jokes Etc / Re: Not Really Funny by amsisawa(m): 12:01pm On May 26, 2006
not funny but educative
Jokes Etc / Re: Urgent Car For Sell by amsisawa(m): 11:59am On May 26, 2006
this car need DMV - do not Move from Road safety corp
Jokes Etc / Re: What A Story: by amsisawa(m): 4:18pm On May 25, 2006
real sad story, if am among them we will have force him to came back to the office and pick the wahala
Jokes Etc / Smart Cats The Four Cats ! Four Men by amsisawa(m): 11:12am On May 15, 2006
I can't hide this for myself let share the fun smiley

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an
Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a
Chemist,,,,,,and the fourth man was a Government Employee. To show off,
the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square
pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew
a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty
smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his
cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out to the
kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal
piles of 3 cookies, Everyone agreed that was good. But the
Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and
said,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked
to
the fridge, took out a quart of milk,, got a 10 ounce glass from the
cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the
glass. Everyone agreed that was pretty good. Then the three men turned
to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?" The
Government Employee called his cat and
said,,,,, "CoffeeBreak,,,,do your stuff." CoffeeBreak jumped to his
feet,,,,,,,,,,, , ate the cookies,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, , drank
the
milk,,,,,,,, shit on the paper , screwed the other three
cats,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, , claimed he injured his
back
while doing so,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, , filed a grievance report
for unsafe working conditions,,, , put in for Workers
Compensation, and , went home for the rest of the
day on sick leave,
Jokes Etc / Re: Nna Men, Kpakororo, Baba And Mallam Argues Over Power In 2007. by amsisawa(m): 9:28am On May 15, 2006
funny, please dont say shari'a again
Jokes Etc / Indian And Usa Joke by amsisawa(m): 9:14am On May 15, 2006
some one send this to meeeeeeeeee>
An Indian is having breakfast one morning; coffee, croissants, bread,
butter & jam when an American man, chewing gum , sits down next to him.
The Indian ignores the American who, nevertheless, starts a
conversation: American: "You Indian folks eat the whole bread??" Indian
(in a bad mood): "Of course." American: (after blowing a huge bubble)
"We don't. In USA, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in
a
Container recycles it, transform them into croissants and sell them to
India." The American has a smirk on his face. The Indian listens in
silence. The American persists: "Do you eat jam with the bread??"
Indian: "Of Course." American: (cracking his gum between his teeth and
chuckling), "We don't. In USA we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we
put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them,
transform them into jam and sell the jam to India." The Indian then
asks: "Do you have sex in USA?" American: "Why of course we do", the
American says with a big smirk. Indian: And what do you do with the
condoms once you've used them?" American: "We throw them away, of
course." Indian: "We don't. In India, we put them in a container,
recycle them, Melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to America.
________________________________________________________________________
Jokes Etc / Re: OBJ'S DILEMMA by amsisawa(m): 12:45pm On May 10, 2006
grin
may be we gona creat a poverty Monument for Obj to recognise Nigeria
Jokes Etc / Captain Ibrahim Mantle by amsisawa(m): 9:17am On May 10, 2006
Distinguished Passengers,

On behalf of Captain Ibrahim Mantle and the rest of his flight crew, I welcome u to the 2nd phace of our flight T-03 taking us direct to Ota. Our flight time is 45 minutes and we shall be cruising at 2007mph initial and 2019mph final and an altitude of above 50,000 feet above sea level.



Although we expect this flight to be exactly like any of our normal flights, aviation regulations demand that we acquaint you with safety precautions just in case. Please loosen your seatbelts and pay attention to the beautiful Fulani girls in front of you.



Should there be oxygen loss in the cabin, ghana-must-go leavelets will automatically drop from the panel above your head. Do not panic, pick one, put in your pocket and pretend nothing has happened, Breathe normally. Those who are traveling with children are advised to open channel 7 in our film deck and switch on our x-rated films for them to watch. They are meant for children. Please help the children to select from films among JAK GAWAN, EVIL GENIUS, GOGGLEMAN ABATCHA etc. They will enjoy it.



There are no emergency exits on this aircraft. You may break the window glass next to you if at any time you want to make an exit. Please jump out neatly but leave you baggage behind for save keeping. Collect them later at Phee-Dee-Phee Headquarters in Abuja anytime after 2007.



On arrival at Ota, the Royal 3rd-Term Orchestra will be available on tarmac to entertain. They will be lead by Mr Thugman Adedible [ Nigerian], Garrison Commander of Ibadan and they will play nice tunes like ‘Babalo ran mi wa’, ‘I deh Campe’, ‘I go die o’, ‘Mr Fix it’, ‘The godfada Kris’ etc etc



On behalf of Captain Ibrahim Mantle[American], Co Pilot Jerry Khan[Indian], Cabin Attendants Fani Power[ British], Greg Timber/Caliber [ Ghanaian], Hita Ghiwa [Bakassian], and flight Engineer Ojo Bicycle [Ibo], I wish you a nice flight on board T-03.



Please seat up, close your eyes and enjoy our filth. Captain Mantle still in Command.

(1) (of 1 pages)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 51
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.