POPE II:

Move over there then, who's keeping you in the jungle? With wicked barbarians, Abeg leave the jungle you won't b missed.
Go and enjoy your rights in the civilized world

I am already in the USA, silly.
99% of Nigerians would revel at a chance to escape that hell hole as well. abi I lie?
At the end of the day, I wish Nigeria will develop to be comparable to USA someday.
people like you do not wish Nigeria well. You want the nation to remain barbaric.

dinachi:

Great try! However these are not mainstream feminists.

@OP, what is your definition of feminist?
this topic is clearly meant to be a circus or clown show because you make no sense

Tons of feminists have successful marriage. as long as they are married to men who also believe in equal rights. they need to share similar values

Chimananda Adichie is the most popular Nigerian feminist. She is married successfully and based in USA (although she kept her own last name!). You can find her video where she laments the state of women's rights in Nigeria. She is the ultimate feminist role model to Nigerian women.

Even Michelle Obama is a feminist. Her marriage is successful because she married a man who also believes in women's right. THey have two daughters together.
In order for women to achieve have equal rights, male allies are needed as well.

If Obama was a Nigerian, he would have divorced his wife and married another woman to give him male children because in Nigeria, female children are not considered to be important.
[img]http://3.bp..com/-gCQYCoBUhLc/UK4ysIm1OmI/AAAAAAAAAKs/KC1PZfS5Bio/s1600/BarakFem.png[/img][img]http://updatednews.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Obama-daughters-barely-listened-to-speech.jpg[/img]

^ They do not force their women to wear burqa and ban women from appearing in public places.
omg. what an impression.

at the end of the day,
in the civilized nations, women have rights. not 100% but much much better than the rest of the world.

wow. dicaprio is hot.

POPE II: Arrant nonsense, utter rubbish.
You are on a long thing. This is exactly why a woman will never b the president of this country.

when it happens (because it WILL happen sooner or later), will you jump off 3rd mainland bridge?

all4naija: There is no right that protects women in Nigeria like in the developed countries. I hope this is addressed by the congress than passing law to marry underage girls.

abi o.

Baby mama:

Heard of a recent case here in the USA
Wife was here
Filed for husband and kids
Their medical tests required maternity and paternity tests for the kids
Maternity checked out ok
Paternity didn't

I thought we left all these "baby mama" "baby daddy" derailment on the previous page?
just ur username suggests that this issue is dear to your heart.
but pls stop derailing d topic. LOL

thanks for stating your typical misogynist view without derailing the topic.
now let's hear other people's responses as well.

Alimony (also called aliment (Scotland), maintenance (England, Wales, Canada), spousal support (U.S., Canada) and spousal maintenance (Australia)) is a legal obligation on a person to provide financial support to his or her spouse before or after marital separation or divorce. The obligation arises from the divorce law or family law of each country. Traditionally, alimony was paid by a husband to his former wife, but since the 1970s there have been moves in many Western countries towards gender equality with a corresponding recognition that a former husband may also be entitled to alimony from his former wife.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alimony

If the wife is the breadwinner in d family and there is a divorce, she should support the husband as well. Same as vice-versa.

^ create a separate topic for your paternity problems. mr. baby daddy.

back to the topic. what is your opinion on women's welfare after divorce in the legal sense? esp if the man is the main breadwinner which is the case majority of the time.

also called Alimony . this benefit is usually paid to the less financially well off spouse to support him or her (mostly her) for at least few months after divorce.

opetu: .Am not the perfect husband i knw , I have my flaws!!!

well, so far, your story is one sided and we can only see your wife's "flaws"

opetu: i begin to wonda if dis babe is using jazz

hmm...

coogar:

what has räpe gotta do with paternity fraud? you know you have lost when you start posting nonsense to alter the focus on the main issue.

i reiterate, go & lie down.....

after you have derailed the topic. what else is there to discuss. what does paternity fraud have to do with the topic at hand of women's welfare after divorce?
just giving you a list of "experts" that you can you to back yourself up next time.

if you want to talk about paternity fraud, talk about all the random children that appear out of nowhere once the husband dies. claiming part of the will. fact of the matter is, a man is way more likely to have kids outside of his family without his wife's knowledge than vice versa. you can quote all the "experts" you want but fact remain that men act with indiscretion in naija FAR more than a woman could ever think of.

even senator yerima (the one marrying a 14yr old girl) can claim to be an expert on women's issues. and you will quote him.

misogynist coogar and his retinue of "experts".

coogar:
that you will catch a bullet that would leave you destitute on your way to work tomorrow.
you put the h in halfwit!

ok. now we've heard that one.
what else about women do the "experts" say?

"blah blah blah according to an expert, 99.99% of nigeria women (the exception is my mom and sisters) are sluts, adulterers, they deserve to be stoned to death. they are useless, worth lesss blah blah. theirr heads should be slammed on concrete blah blah. blah."
coogar, what other misogynist cliches haven't we heard from you?
*yawn*

back to topic,
the poster who mentioned what female politicians are doing about protecting the welfare of women. I really am curious about that too. What's the percentage of women in the house of assembly? could that play a role in why women are not protected by law? because clearly, most men want to keep their power and could care less what happens to women and children.

Baby mama:
When my hubby was a house officer in the north he told me of a man that did a lab test and had no viable sperms,him and wife later had a baby and it was a " miracle"

I heard this is common as well. In case of male infertility, women are still blamed so many of these women are forced to have children with other men without their husband's knowledge. This goes on a lot in rural areas. esp where old senile men are marrying young girls. yet the wife is still blamed for being "barren"

women r suffering I tell ya. the whole "barrenness" issue is another topic on its own.

Chomzy19: Oh please I fink you know that silly link you posted says nothing, I was waiting to see a well documented research only to see one article by one Laboratory scientist who engages in Armchair theorizing by d "very few cases' that comes to his lab unlike you though he had d sense to still be modest in his estimations unlike your "50%" MY GAWD!!

he's not even worth responding to anymore.
maybe I will go to a HIV clinic and if 30% of those who visit HIV clinics for testing come out positive then clearly 30% of all Nigerians must be HIV positive.

coogar:
do you people even read at all? the stats say 3 in 10 are not the fathers of their children but when they narrowed it down to firstborns, 50% of the tests were negative.
how many DNA labs are in nigeria? this man gets 60-80 families per month. he's been operating in the last 5 years. it means he's tested 5,000 families in the last 5 years. that's a decent sample size as far as statistics is concerned.

Fool, don't ever dream of becoming a scientist because you have failed miserably. Sample sizes should come from the general population. They should be blind. ie go and knock on random people's doors and invite them to take paternity test.
Using a sample of men who ALREADY question their paternity is absolutely bad science. simple.
stop embarrassing yourself. You have exposed yourself to be simply nothing but a misogynist going by your previous posts.

I wonder what % of those same men have fathered children outside of their matrimonial homes without the wife's knowledge. I will never see you posting any statistics of that (more common) issue.

Chomzy19: So this is where you got your conclusion from Seriously?? From one DNA expert who sits in his lab in one hospital in one city in one state in Nigeria to say that out of 10-15 families that come weekly for tests that 3 out of every 10 Nigerian Men are not the father of their kids seriously?? I believe u are more intelligent than that

It's so amazing what these misogynists will do to bash women.
3/10 negative result is actually pretty low for a DNA clinic.

coogar:

http://www.bellanaija.com/2012/10/02/dna-expert-gives-shocking-statistics-3-out-of-10-nigerian-men-are-not-biological-fathers-of-their-children/

If you read the original article below. This is a sample of men who took the paternity test. If you are visiting a DNA expert, clearly, you must already have some suspicions and 3/10 chance is actually pretty low in that case.
Dunno where you got your "50% of all nigerians" from. Making things up out of thin air to support your misogynist view is crass and tasteless.
http://thenationonlineng.net/new/three-of-10-men-are-not-fathers-of-their-kids-says-dna-expert/

Should I say that 90% of all Nigerians are muslim because I went to a mosque to conduct my study?

coogar:
50% of all firstborns in nigeria are bastärds according to one DNA expert. how can that be if women are not cheating in a high volume?

this statement is just crazy. Can you name this so-called DNA expert?
Nigeria is a poor developing country where legal marriage (by western style civic court) is actually a middle and upper class luxury. Do you think majority of Nigerians go to court to get married? you are out of touch.
the weird thing is that when western countries start doing away with the standard (conformist middle class) idea of "marriage" you and your ignorant kind will act as if this is something new or something "imported"


same goes with divorce. we like to say divorce is a "western" idea without recognizing the fact that "naija style divorce" is just as popular and has been happening for ages. where women and/or kids are just thrown out of the home without recourse legal or otherwise. This is assuming the husband doesn't kick the wife out while keeping the kids away from her. In naija, men do whatever they want and women suffer immensely when the marriage doesn't work.

Women are suffering in Nigeria. This is not a new story.
Instead of us to face our problems, we pretend as if divorce doesn't exist in naija. we say "oh it's a western problem" yet women are getting thrown out of their matrimonial homes every day. we refuse to acknowledge the issue talkless of show concern for the welfare of these women.

My own is, women need to reject the idea of "submissiveness"
if you become submissive, you refuse to work hard to gain your independence, if your king husband throws you out of his house, what then will become of you? you do not have a career, no business just a housewife turn destitute.
I reject the notion of women being depedent on men. that is the worst thing you can do to womanhood.

you want designer baby. boy or girl ko, fair or dark ni. even sef why not start arguing over your unborn baby's height. how tall, how short. LOL

the most important thing at this point should be safe delivery. leave the rest to God.

this is why women should avoid marrying men who are the "only child"
that is the worst.

I am not saying the kids shouldn't visit the op's parents but it seems the op has constantly pushed for his parents to have custody of their kids and she may now be scared.

GBAM. This is the main issue.
they are having marital issues (OP is not telling us the whole story). He wants to divorce his wife, and take the children away from their mother after divorce to give the grandparents custody.
The wife has every reason to be scared that her kids are going to be taken away from her after divorce. She needs to go and hire a very good lawyer.

She married you, she didn't marry your parents.

scipher:
you don't reason like an exposed individual perhaps, you have no clue about government / governance ..

I live in the USA so I know about American government and governance.
The state, led by the governor, is divided into counties/cities/villages (these are the local governments) lead by a mayor. The city (a bigger local government) is divided into wards which is led by council members. All these leaders are elected by the people.

the state governor focuses on the big issues like state budgets, bringing a railway to the state or building a large state stadium etc. the city mayor concerns itself with its schools, police, waste collection and other local government institutions, the council members are in charge of the neighborhood stuff like residential and commercial zoning,. all these tasks are delegated.
there is no need for a whole state governor to be involved in petty landlord roofing issues.

99% of people don't even know the name of their local government chairman. In USA, it is the opposite. the local govt leader is just as popular (if not more popular ) as the governor. the local govt is very important because it is the most accessible part of govt. State govt is often inaccessible to the common citizen except to big business owners. Kinda like Nairaland. Moderators are your main point of contact. They are the ones who do most of the work of maintaining the website. but if you have an ad to buy or you are a business owner, then Seun might listen to you

also, anybody. I repeat, anybody can participate in local government politics. the city or town hall is open to the public, you can get involved in many ways. you may even volunteer with non-profit organizations that are unaffiliated with the govt. it is a lot of work and responsibility though. You are working for free most of the time. (hmm NL moderator position comes to mind again ) but there are tons of people who participate as volunteers, hired staff or even elected officials. it's all about active citizenship to make the town/city, state, country a better place.

scipher: dude, seriously?

yea I know it is non-functional but that's what I mean.local governments need to be in charge of stuff like that relating to landlords.
Lagos has 5million people for chrissake!! You really expect Fashola to become phsically involved in getting shomolu landlords to re-roof their houses?

the city/town I live in (USA) has about 300,000 people and yet the mayor is not even involved in petty stuff like that. It is an extremely developed place and I don't even know the mayor's name (equivalent of a Local govt chairman) talkless of the governor's name.
I don't understand why we expect fashola to be some kind of god or magician. Shomolu issues should be addressed to shomolu local government.

Don't you vote for your local government leaders?
Where I live, you vote for the local government or city leaders (mayors) and they are usually the ones in charge of zoning, housing and stuff like that. They are very accessible and you can schedule an appointment if you have concerns.
the traffic light on the way to my work place wasn't working and so I called the local government's public works office and they handled it. THe state governor is no way involved in all of this petty stuff.

scipher:
Lagosians in those areas I highlighted are living like animals. The landlords collect money and do little or not maintenance on the structure. I was on the heli. and the view of that vicinity (shomolu) was eye-sore.. Roofing won't cost this dudes much. He fashola, has not tried that model and he doesn't even care. He's trying for the state cannot dispute that, but he ignores little things that actually drives development.

I don't understand your point. This doesn't sound like Fashola's job to me. Maybe a local government area (LGA) affair.
Shomolu Local Government should be the one overseeing that and it is people like you who should bring the case up to the local government. schedule an appointment with a leader in the LGA and discuss your view with them. if you want all landlords to be required to changed their roofs? you can create a non-profit or awareness group where you consult with the landlords as well.
I agree that it is these little things that drive development and that is why I believe that we citizens are the ones who are responsible for the way our country is. Do we really expect Fashola to be working on such petty things?

In my area where I live, we have TONS of non-profit organizations that do all kinds of work from tutoring students after school to helping support local businesses to feeding the poor to helping unemployed look for jobs to giving free medical check ups. it is endless. Govt is not involved. Just regular citizens who started the organizations and they get grants from businesses and private charities.

a good one in naija will be churches. create a non-profit and affiliate it with RCCG. that church is already collecting so much taxes offering from lagosians that it should be doing things to help develop the city.
We rely on govt too much for things we should be able to do for ourselves.

lukaino: I will acknowledge his amazing Job the day i stop seeing the following:
1. Wooden Link bridges(AKA PACO BRIDGE) e.g Igando-Ayobo etc
2. Red earth roads in surrounding towns like Ayobo, Igesu, Olorunishola, Abule-Odu etc
3. Lack of Low cost housing that can be accessed by those who actually need them

this is not government's job. This is the job of enterprising citizens.
create a construction business and lobby the government to contract the project to you. That's how things get done in developed countries.
America is not successful because of Obama. America is successful because of Zukerberg, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs etc
USA maufactures tons of aircrafts and war equipment but all these are private companies. The govt is just very involved.
same with all the automobile industries. In fact, American highway system was built through lobbying by the automobile companies.

in the recession of 2008, the first thing USA did was bail the banks and companies. it gave the businesses a lot of money and cut back the benefits for the poor. people complain but that's how government functions. govt relies on business if it can't collect enough money from people.

we need more Dangotes in Nigeria if we want to be able to compare ourselves to USA. He is the one who should be creating public libraries and univerities the way Rockerfeller and Vanderbilt did for USA. and what Bill Gates is doing for USA today.
otherwise, we are deluding ourselves. we are not a communist country.
In fact Fashola is doing extremely better than I would expect from a governor of any state in Nigeria. but everyone knows that Fashola is fond of private-public partnerships for a reason.

scipher:
private investors will implement policies, huh? ok.. let me give you an instance, I tell all shomolu landlords to change their roofings or be fined... private investors thing right?

some African countries make it compulsory for neighbourhoods to have a mini garden in their condos.. do you want me to post pictures of their skyline ?

you know what they say, little things count.. when Nigerians get to developed countries where most of they neighbourhoods are clean, if they mistakenly drop a candy wrapper, they pick it up and discard it properly.. can you say the same for Lagos?

private companies DEVELOP the projects and government REGULATES the project.
it is landlords and private companies who will change the roofing. not government.
government is there to regulate it.

Government develops projects too. ex. roads, schools etc. but they still have to hire private companies to do it. unless we are in a communist country.

Can you please name those countries? I am curious to know because I don't believe that any condo owner will agree to that. Even if it's true, at the end of the day, it is the property owner that will build the garden in the condo. the real estate business people will develop the gardens. The government's job is to REGULATE it and fine people for not doing it.

If Fashola tries such a thing, everyone will be complaining. If fashola starts fining you for not planting gardens in your backyard. will you be happy? If he starts fining you for not changing your roofings, will you be happy? If police start arresting you for throwing candy wrapper on the floor, will you be happy?
He tried to remove street beggars (pan handling is against the law!!) and there was so much backlash that he had to apologize for implementing the policy. Nigerian people like to complain too much.

at the end of the day, it is Nigerian people that are lazy. we want heaven but we don't want to do the work. we want government to do everything for us.

you know what they say, little things count.. when Nigerians get to developed countries where most of they neighbourhoods are clean, if they mistakenly drop a candy wrapper, they pick it up and discard it properly.. can you say the same for Lagos?

When Nigerians get to developed countries, they have to behave themselves otherwise, they will be fined or jailed. You can't drive anyhow you want in America. If you litter, people around you will frown at you. At the end of the day, a lot of Nigerians still go to America and keep their corrupt ways. You will hear news about Nigerians involved in scam on the news every once in a while. In india, they are attacking Nigerians because we are known as drug dealers. Is this Fashola and GEJ's fault too?
We simple aren't good citizens. yet we expect our leaders to be perfect.

are you saying that Fashola needs to be stricter and enforce a War Against Indiscipline? I agree!!

bombay: If you do not expect magic overnight why expect gej to perform magic after decade of neglect yeye dey really dey smell

where do you see gej in any of my posts?
none of them are miracle workers.
but this thread is about Fashola and Lagos State.

slim fit :


Whether it is private or not it is a big waste of resources. There are lands available to use. You cannot fight with nature not in Nigeria anyway.

what lands?
when he tried removing beggars from the streets, there was an uproar. what lands are available that wouldn't require him to relocate the slum dwellers and beggars?

at the end of the day, he can't satisfy everyone.

In USA most people don't even know the name of their state governor. This obsession with government in Nigeria is ridiculous. We expect government to do everything for us as if we are in a communist state.

bombay: Arial.bold: 11:08am

you leave in nigeria look at the time frame of your post lie lie apc arewa peoples congress

It's 5:38am right now where I live. 11:38am in Nigerian time.
Maybe you need to enroll yourself in a technology literacy program.....Oh wait, you are waiting for Fashola to do it for you.

also, it's "live" not "leave"
you didn't go to school because you were waiting for Fashola to pay your school fees?