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THE ABSOLUTE DILEMMA OF PARENTING Except you want to live a celibacy kind of life; maybe not celibacy, but you chose to be unjust to the ones that brought you to this life by not having children, you decide not to reciprocate the favour of bringing you to this life by doing the same, you say you want to reduce earth’s population, then you definitely will be faced with this dilemma. As a parent, you are to be the closest role model your children should ever know. Forget our fantasies of choosing some distant ‘role models’. We get embedded by a very large percentage of the qualities our parents possess. We consciously or subconsciously look out for qualities in them and also consciously or subconsciously model our lives after them. This makes having a good personality as parents the best a child could ever get from them. But the problem herein is, parents just like humans in general, are not perfect! Now, by not being perfect does not necessarily mean that you won’t know that your bad qualities are actually bad qualities (at least for a right thinking person). You will most likely know that these bad qualities are qualities that you actually have to do away with but the reality here is that you can do away with them entirely. Your human nature still makes you commit these errors many times without count, whether consciously or subconsciously. And that is even for acts that we even have as ‘bad qualities’. Many a time, we still commit errors that are not in our habit to commit. Now, the dilemma in all of these is that, as you are committing these ‘sins’, your wards are watching very closely more that you think that they are. And this is even worse if you are of the nagging type. You immediately look like Lucifer trying to preach the Gospel. More so, as a parent, you find it obligatory to correct the wrong deeds your wards commit. And you even end up correcting the ones you commit yourself because you just have to if you don’t want to raise rotten tomatoes. So, at different point in time, the fact that you commit such errors becomes an obstacle for you wards to take correction of some errors. At least, not until they attain the maturity of realizing that even parents are not supposed to be perfect human beings but they still want the best human qualities for the children. So they would be like, ‘you’re also guilty of the same thing you were correcting me of’. Of course, they might not say it out loud, but the feeling would definitely be there. And this becomes a problem that remains in a family up until the child is matured enough to understand that parents are not supposed to be perfect beings. But then, this dilemma is better than having a bad personality or saying you would not correct your children so as not to look like some hypocrite. The menace in the society today requires a heavy revival of the sanctity of what a family should look like and that begins with me and you. That remains the only way to achieve the sanity we desire in our world today. Gafar Oluwatosin Bashiru tosin_bashiru2000@yahoo.com 05/10/2016 1 Like |
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Cc lalasticlala |
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Cc r231, Freiburger |
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IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE So we blame our parents for the level of decadence in morality of our generation like we don’t know our wrongs from right. Maybe we’ve forgotten how long it is, since we’ve become accountable for our actions before our Creator. You think you would get before your Lord and He questions you on how you spent your youth and you point to parent to explain. Crazy, right? Exactly what we are whenever we play the blame game. You look at the generation of leaders we have today and the least you do is shake your head in sorrow. But, you know what? Our generation would be worse off. This is not about prophesying but about facing the reality. Taking a retrospect at what used to be morality during the days of our parents from their narrations to us and what we can find on the internet, and then comparing it to what we have today, then we would only be fooling ourselves to think that the society will be more morally upright, say thirty years to come. But the good news is, everybody won’t be immoral. Just like today, not every leader out there has actually lost it morally. Not every leader wants to beat another man’s wife. Not every leader out there is a drug baron. Not every leader actually believes in altering documents that come his way. We still have good ones of course. We still have people that believe in changing people’s mentality and not changing people’s scores. We still have people that feel contented with their earnings and not people that are just so desperate to get at least N1 above what they worked for. We still have good people that believe due process should be followed in whatever dealings we involve ourselves in. Of course, good people abound. So that is why we have to develop ourselves in preparation of the task that lies ahead of us - the task of raising our kinds as morally upright. But you know what? ‘Nemo dat quod non habet’ – You can’t give that which you do not possess. So let’s take it upon ourselves to reforming ourselves first before we can think of bringing up great kids. Gafar ‘Abu Hikmah’ Bashiru |
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THE PRICE OF 'MISTRUST' One of the biggest problem of having the majority of a society's population, as people of low integrity, is the fact that trustworthy or people of high integrity would have to suffer for people's 'untrustworthiness'. An average person would just believe that the person talking to him is not trustworthy simply because he has had an encounter with a bearded man looking like some 'Alfa' who sold fake stuffs to him or because he has seen stories online of how 'Pastors' impregnate their church members. So he his left with the thought of, 'what more is left of people in this life?' When persons that are supposed to be an epitome of good character have failed the world, then what more can we expect from persons that we can say we're not be expecting much from, we think. Like the Igbo boy selling fake spare parts or the Yoruba boy guy doing fake SIM registration or after hearing that Hausa people are somewhat decent people but then you find one smoking, so you lose hope in finding any person to trust and treat everyone like the persons you met before that failed you. But then, is this how we are meant to relate with people? Are we meant to deal with the next person like he might just be another fraudster. Of course they say, 'Once bitten, twice shy.' But do we have to let the next man know that you think that he's just another dog who's looking for a prey to bite? What I'm basically saying is that when relating with people, we shouldn't 'shout' that you don't trust no one. How about you just relate with the person like you trust him while being extra careful by putting in place checks that would prevent another 'heartbreak'. But you shouldn't let it show. That would preserve the sanctity of human relationship and not let every encounter with everyone be like robbers who's trying to rob you with some succeeding and others failing. I believe we can relate with everyone with the impression of trust and respect (because it is actually great disrespect to let a trustworthy personality feel that you don't trust him), and still do your homework of preventing any form of 'heartbreak'. Gafar Bashiru tosin_bashiru2000@yahoo.com |
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Your moniker says it all... VulgarVulvas: |
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Gradually dropping... |
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Gradually dropping... |
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Pls who's this nobody guy that u cnt open his profile?
Impressive. Fayose will soon teach us how to parboil |
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I didn't expect much from a baby!
amiibaby: |
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AS IF HE READ MY MIND I was trying to buy sachet water this morning from a shop when I observed that the woman selling it was trying to bring out the water stealthily. Then I remembered that today, Thursday marks the weekly sanitation at Ogun State which holds from 7:00 - 10:00 am. Then, I thought to myself, is it this three hours sanitation that would keep the state clean for the next 7 days? Besides, this waste of three hours halts economic activities in the state as business activities cannot go until 10:00 am. Instead, what should be done for a clean environment in the state is that the daily cleaning should be intensified because if it is intensified, there would be no need for this weekly waste of three hours that is not even being carried out effectively. Only for me to read a news about an hour ago that the Lagos State government has abolished the monthly sanitation exercise that holds on saturdays because they cannot afford to keep economic activities in a mega city like Lagos on hold for three hours. Then I thought to myself. AS IF HE READ MY MIND. |
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You nko? Sissy3: |
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They should be swift about it. |
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By Allah, you mirrored my thought! daretodiffer: |
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I read this article from start to finish but did not find any spot where he made the purported statement in the headlin. 2 Likes |
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What a wonderful speech from a true leader! 9 Likes |
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I see billionaire Innocent Chukwuma emerging tope five amongst Africa's richest in the next five years. Kudos to him! |
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You mean the NASS that misplaced budget? blueto: |
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That's human being for you. Fuckgratulations: |
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What a brave step! |
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How can I get a sample? |
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Wow! |
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.Really cool stuffs.. 1 Like |
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I knew it was a lie right from the day I saw it. |
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It's necessary please... 26 Likes 4 Shares |
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Just like u're doing... NiRfreak: |
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That's a good one there... |
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Really really nice idea! |
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Apt! My brother, u've spoken well... woodcook: |
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