U av outlined exactly what the genesis of this problem is. So many men are raised without a conscience, sense of responsibility and awareness of consequences of their actions.

Our society makes it seem as though consequences for bad behavior are applicable to only women. This is wrong, bad behavior results in consequences for both males and females.

Parents take so much blame for this, because they see the society, they see how women are maligned but instead of training their daughters to be independent strong women and their sons to be protectors and providers. They still try to put down their girls while letting their sons run wild. In the end who suffers it? Our daughters continue to suffer the effects of these ill-trained men.

Let us be the we hope to see.
Let us train our sons right so that our daughters dont suffer it.

Justbehave:
Does it mean all guys are potential rapist and not to be trusted including your man?

What we are saying is that there are ways of women defending themselves without having to rely on a man who might take advantage of her as well

funmisticqueen2:
i can relate with her story. Many guus can just wear someone down with their pestering. He was the definition of obsessed.

Its almost like no one sees how painful it is to have some keep disturbing you for hours and no one is willing to help. They dont even take you seriously

funmisticqueen2:
still trying to blame her abi.

There's almost no girl/lady/woman who has not been sexually harassed by a man who doesn't respect boundaries.

I've learnt that the way out in such a situation is to be as calm as possible, because as a woman, in the face of an attacker, you suddenly realise how powerless you are in terms of physical strength.

What has worked for me is not to fight but be brain smart, try and see if he has weapons or anything that can be used as a weapon around. Next, is there an available exit? is the door locked? If there is, that is not the time to be doing mike tyson. Try to talk and reason with the person, make yourself less threatening so that he loses his guard. After which you strike.

A method i have employed twice is to first bite his nose or mouth, this will enable him to free his hands from you or at least lossen them. Immeadiately clap your hands hard on both ears. HARD. This move guarantees that he will start to hear ringing. He will momentarily lose balance, then you kick high, either for the balls or his stomach, if he has crouched in a posture them, go for the neck instead. This results in an uppercut that will increase space between you.

Now run, and scream, FIRE. That will gather people around.


Rapists gain power when you become the victim, they prey on the weak and powerless, people that cannot fight back and this fuels their ego.

Take that power back from them.

Thats exactly the point. To take back control of a seemingly hopeless situation by being calm and rational

zexy2030:

it's common sense for judges and lawyers to know that most girls die during rape not because they struggled but because you know who did the act. To be honest if u had allowed the rapist finish in you, the beast in him may suggest ur murder for a cover up. There was a sorry case of a married woman who got raped in Ogun state. The perpetrator her oldtime neighbour assured her a job unknown to her he his now a ritualist, so he enquired if she could come to a particular location, she went there to realize they were two on getting to a point, they showed her weapon, so she could threatened to release her body for sex, she voluntarily without struggle had sex with both men in that bush. After that one of them(the old neighbour said, if the husband hears this, he will be killed, he beheaded the woman and as he was going to sell, that was where he was caught.
So u see u were just lucky to delivered from evil n temptations.

The murder in this case seems to have been motivated by their wanting to use her for rituals rather than just her telling on them. Also, when in groups of two or more, people are more likely to harm their victims.

Good day, after going through a lot of back and forth within myself I finally decided to put my story out there. This is not in a bid to garner sympathy but in the hope that my story could help someone get out of a similar situation.

Growing up as a young lady in Nigeria is quite difficult especially one who receives a lot of male attention. I experienced a lot of abuse while growing up. I was beaten, fingered, molested and harassed as early as age 4. At a point I tried to speak up but I wasnt believed so I became accustomed to it and didnt bother to mention it again.

My first near-rape experience occurred at age 16. The perpetrator was a coursemate who happened to like me and had been asking me out for a couple of months. Despite my continually rejecting him, he was persistent. At a point he started stalking me, then calling me with strange numbers and calling at odd hours like 1 or 2am. I just overlooked it all and felt he would get tired at some point.

The day that the incident occurred I was going to school at around 5pm to study for a test. On my way, I noticed the guy following me. He than came up to me and asked for me to hear him out but i refused. We kept arguing for about 3 hours on the road, I kept trying to get away but he wouldn't let me, I even tried to get the attention of a few passersby but no one bothered to help (they probably thought it was a lovers quarrel). At a point I began crying and begging him to let me go but he refused.

A friend of his saw us and came up to us and asked me to just hear the guy out. I finally agreed because I was so exhausted and drained. They both suggested that I and the guy go and talk in his friends room which was just across the road. I agreed and we went in, I sat on the bed and listened. This guy proceeded to kneel and beg me to date him, I agreed just so he would let me be.

The next thing I knew was that he had jumped on me and started groping me. I struggled, cried and pleaded with him but he didnt stop. He went on to rip my trousers open and pull off my panties. I struggled furiously and even tried to screamed but that earned me some dirty slaps. I felt defeated. All I could think of was how much I hated the helplessness I felt which was so similar to what I felt as a child.

Suddenly, a thought popped into my head about a rape survival story I had seen a while back, I decided to try it out. I stopped struggling and just acted calm, I guess he took that as good sign and stopped hitting me. He held my two hands with his one hand and used the other to pull down his trouser. He then began to rub himself on me, I prayed and made a split second decision. I pulled my knee up and hit him in the balls as hard as I could before he could recover I pushed him off, jumped up and began to scream as loud as I could, I carried a standing fan which was close by and smashed every single thing I could in the room. People came rushing in and that's how I was saved. It was so crazy that a guy had to help me with something to cover up because I didn't even realize that I was naked from the waist down.

A few years later, I had my second near-rape encounter. One night while going to the hostel after seeing a friend, I was accosted by a security personnel. He claimed that I was out too late and he would have to take me to the security office, I was surprised because that was around 9pm and there were still other people around so I argued with him, a colleague of his intervened and insisted that I follow them to the security office.

I agreed to go but I kept my distance from them. While walking, the security officer suddenly pushed me into a dark corner, pressed himself against me and began to tell me all the things he was going to do to me for arguing with him. I began to struggle and cry, I couldn't believe this was happening again. He tore my gown open and then my panties. When I tried to cover myself, he slammed my head and hands against the wall with such force that my wristwatch broke.

Once again faced with a situation I felt helpless to do anything about, I calmed myself down and said a silent prayer. I then began to pet him. I told him I wanted this too but it was all to sudden, he didnt listen to me at first but went on to pull down his trousers he then tried to penetrate me but i kept begging him that we should please hold off a bit

Eventually, he listened and said I was right because he doesnt trust uni girls so it would be best for him to use a condom considering that hes a family man. He held me and kept running his hands all over my body and told me that he wants me so much and I should promise that I would come see him the next day when he calls me. He even threatened to harm me if I didn't do as I promised. I did as he asked, gave him my number, promised to be back and ran as fast as my legs could take me.

The next day, with the support of friends I went to the school authorities, reported and he was subsequently sacked.

Despite years of abuse, these two events helped me see that I didnt have to always be a victim but that I can also be a victor. I was not as helpless as I thought.

The major point I would like to point out from my story is that aggression is not always the best option, often at times we can fight these rapists by being calm and rational. I went on to watch rape survival stories and realized that so many rape survivors avoid being raped, killed or further harmed by trying to reason with their attackers.

Also, allowing an attacker feel that he is in control can give one the opportunity to take him unawares and take back control. Being angry, fighting back, insulting him or threatening to expose him when the opportunity comes can just lead to more violence or him even going as far as trying to shut you up permanently.

zexy2030:
thank God it wasn't gang rape like what happened to uwa and there was a familiar face or almost all are familiar, maybe the security guard is a suspect.

Studies have shown that in up to 88% of rape perpetrators are known by the victims

ojun50:
Sorry dear

Thank you

LedRock:
Ok, good.
You opened a new account to tell the story

Yes I did. Dont want it being traced back to me

LedRock:
Sorry about your rape experience, I hope the experience has not made you to hate all men.

Not at all. It actually made feel me less helpless and less like a victim. I dont have to take whatever is done to me, there is always a way to fight back.

Good day, after going through a lot of back and forth within myself I finally decided to put my story out there. This is not in a bid to garner sympathy but in the hope that my story could help someone get out of a similar situation.

Growing up as a young lady in Nigeria is quite difficult especially one who receives a lot of male attention. I experienced a lot of abuse while growing up. I was beaten, fingered, molested and harassed as early as age 4. At a point I tried to speak up but I wasnt believed so I became accustomed to it and didnt bother to mention it again.

My first near-rape experience occurred at age 16. The perpetrator was a coursemate who happened to like me and had been asking me out for a couple of months. Despite my continually rejecting him, he was persistent. At a point he started stalking me, then calling me with strange numbers and calling at odd hours like 1 or 2am. I just overlooked it all and felt he would get tired at some point.

The day that the incident occurred I was going to school at around 5pm to study for a test. On my way, I noticed the guy following me. He than came up to me and asked for me to hear him out but i refused. We kept arguing for about 3 hours on the road, I kept trying to get away but he wouldn't let me, I even tried to get the attention of a few passersby but no one bothered to help (they probably thought it was a lovers quarrel). At a point I began crying and begging him to let me go but he refused.

A friend of his saw us and came up to us and asked me to just hear the guy out. I finally agreed because I was so exhausted and drained. They both suggested that I and the guy go and talk in his friends room which was just across the road. I agreed and we went in, I sat on the bed and listened. This guy proceeded to kneel and beg me to date him, I agreed just so he would let me be.

The next thing I knew was that he had jumped on me and started groping me. I struggled, cried and pleaded with him but he didnt stop. He went on to rip my trousers open and pull off my panties. I struggled furiously and even tried to screamed but that earned me some dirty slaps. I felt defeated. All I could think of was how much I hated the helplessness I felt which was so similar to what I felt as a child.

Suddenly, a thought popped into my head about a rape survival story I had seen a while back, I decided to try it out. I stopped struggling and just acted calm, I guess he took that as good sign and stopped hitting me. He held my two hands with his one hand and used the other to pull down his trouser. He then began to rub himself on me, I prayed and made a split second decision. I pulled my knee up and hit him in the balls as hard as I could before he could recover I pushed him off, jumped up and began to scream as loud as I could, I carried a standing fan which was close by and smashed every single thing I could in the room. People came rushing in and that's how I was saved. It was so crazy that a guy had to help me with something to cover up because I didn't even realize that I was naked from the waist down.

A few years later, I had my second near-rape encounter. One night while going to the hostel after seeing a friend, I was accosted by a security personnel. He claimed that I was out too late and he would have to take me to the security office, I was surprised because that was around 9pm and there were still other people around so I argued with him, a colleague of his intervened and insisted that I follow them to the security office.

I agreed to go but I kept my distance from them. While walking, the security officer suddenly pushed me into a dark corner, pressed himself against me and began to tell me all the things he was going to do to me for arguing with him. I began to struggle and cry, I couldn't believe this was happening again. He tore my gown open and then my panties. When I tried to cover myself, he slammed my head and hands against the wall with such force that my wristwatch broke.

Once again faced with a situation I felt helpless to do anything about, I calmed myself down and said a silent prayer. I then began to pet him. I told him I wanted this too but it was all to sudden, he didnt listen to me at first but went on to pull down his trousers he then tried to penetrate me but i kept begging him that we should please hold off a bit

Eventually, he listened and said I was right because he doesnt trust uni girls so it would be best for him to use a condom considering that hes a family man. He held me and kept running his hands all over my body and told me that he wants me so much and I should promise that I would come see him the next day when he calls me. He even threatened to harm me if I didn't do as I promised. I did as he asked, gave him my number, promised to be back and ran as fast as my legs could take me.

The next day, with the support of friends I went to the school authorities, reported and he was subsequently sacked.

Despite years of abuse, these two events helped me see that I didnt have to always be a victim but that I can also be a victor. I was not as helpless as I thought.

The major point I would like to point out from my story is that aggression is not always the best option, often at times we can fight these rapists by being calm and rational. I went on to watch rape survival stories and realized that so many rape survivors avoid being raped, killed or further harmed by trying to reason with their attackers.

Also, allowing an attacker feel that he is in control can give one the opportunity to take him unawares and take back control. Being angry, fighting back, insulting him or threatening to expose him when the opportunity comes can just lead to more violence or him even going as far as trying to shut you up permanently.