plat lol wow

rawswagga- thanks for your post, I dont like long relationships either, but who knows where you meet?
Last night I tried explain it to him, and I told him most of the points here. He says he going to try more, I hope so , because I wont wait for him forever.


ego joy- thanks for your post. I have stopped complaining.

platinumnk- thank you, a week or two should be enough.

Gabry- thanks, he says he is busy but we are working on that, but I dont think meeting should be the main factor. What happens when I go back?

na2day?- thank you, I know they are plenty men, and I wasnt looking for him, he just came.

MzDarkSkin- thank you, he does seem secretive at times, I hoping that will change because I am a open person.

Busy_body- Thank you lady, i am learning from all your posts. All advice I take. Time will tell what is his purpose.
I am African American, but I work with a few nigerian ladies, who are nice.

4play- thank you, its as true as it can gets without putting his phone number for you to check
But he is not working on weekends, i believe, is that inconvient for him also?
Or that he went to France and we barely spoke? it wasnt business either.
What do you think?

daduke2k- thank you for your post.
I have stopped complaining about it because I feel like he wont change.
Out of 24 hours we talk for 10- 15 mins, usually when he is going to bed. I am unfortable meeting someone I dont know much, though I tell him.

-omega- thank you, he acknowledges that losts of women are availible to him and even when he was in France he told me that he met lots of women, but that didnt bother me.
He is works in real estate and shipping things from construction machines to cars.
Before we got together, I was in a relationship, and we became friends (the hi are you friends), when I broke up with my bf, he asked to step in.


Aysh-Ah- what happened?


rawswagga- My problem is that we were casual friends before we started, and I feel like we still are casual friends. maybe he is busy, but it takes 2 seconds for a text message, 2 mins for an email or a phone call.

Kelvinj- thank you but if it wasnt for my job, I still would feel uncomfortable about being with someone I know on the same level as a casual associate/friend.

Kelvinj- thank you, he says the fact that we are having trouble meeting is the reason why our relationship is down.
I feel like if we meet, it would be false hopes, if he cant show me how he cares unless hes infront of me, isnt that wrong?
I am patient, and he says that he hasnt brought out the best yet, and that it is yet to come, he will love me like no other, except I am talking to another guy behind his back.
I could see if he couldnt afford to talk to me, but he keeps in touch with his clients very well, is it because hes used to women that dont ask for much communication?



adetoru- thank you for your post. he says hes possesive over me and doesnt want me to make a mistake because Ive been hurt in the past. I let him know he hurts more more the way hes a ghost in my life, though I try to ignore it.

mecussey- thank you. I dont like long distance relationships either.

noble_gas1- thank you, Im glad I wasnt being too harsh. Its like I dont matter to him, but if another guy comes around or calls he gets very upset.
Hes not the only busy person on this earth!
Like how a child has a toy they dont care about and rarely play with, but if someone wants that same toy the child throws a tantrum

googles- thank you, but he doesnt know that I know them, and I knew the persons before I met him.
Although that doesnt rule anything out.

Ebony- thank you.
I told him time and time again, but he insists that its the distance, and the time difference. I was checking to see if I was paranoid and being too harsh on him.

Mrperfect- Feel free, I would love to hear what you have to say

Madean- thanks sister I never had that type of request before, but it doesnt sound well when he went to visit family and I barely spoke to him, when he says that he wants to marry me

Thank you Ebony- you have been a blessing, blessu
We dont talk much except for small talk, and arguing about lack of communication.
I told I cant be in a relationship where Im lonely, and when I say I want to be friends only
He throws a fit and tells me Im being too harsh.
But I do feel alone.

Madean- thank you, I was thinking I was doing something wrong. He does call my phone repeatedly if I ignore his call and thats usually because Im upset at him.
I find it strange that he asked for my friendsand family number incase I get mad at him and wont pick his calls. Is that normal?


-Googles- thank you.
I know people that have met with him though I dont know much about him personally.
His business is pretty much legit, as far as I can tell, but everything else is grey. 

Thank You ebony
Well I know people who have met him, and his business wont allow him to move. His clients are in Nigeria.
Hes insisting that I our relationship will be good if we meet, but if he knows whats wrong why cant he fix it now?
He wants to come and spend a week with me here, but Im not sure if thats what I want, he can come here for week and be great and tommorow back to same old.
He wanted me to come to France with him, but I couldnt take off work, and so he says thats doesnt encourage him in us.

Thank you very much.
When I question him he insists that I dont really know him, and that he really loves me.
But he doesnt show it and complains about distance, but I thought distance shows more in a person than right next to each other.
Its kinda wierd because his business does fairly well, and Im not so bad in my career, so I can't see why he behaves like that.
When i tell him I would rather remain friends, he says he will do anything to keep us together, including showing up at my job in the States.
But if hes willing to do that, why is he acting like Im a nobody? Is it because Im not one of his clients? Or hes so busy for me?
When I complain that we dont talk much, and give him examples of other couples, he says Quality not quantity, but we dont even have quality conversations, unless you count small talk, like hows your day etc.

Hello all,
I learned so much from your posts.
I was wondering what can you get from this . .
I am young, 25, and graduate, and working.  and Im involved with a older guy that I met online. We have been cool friends for several months, and he had hinted many times that he wanted more but I always told him no due to I I dont like long-distance relationships, and he lives in Nigeria while I live in New York. The Guy has a business over there and he does fairly well, and never once asked me for anything, but I never want for anything so I dont ask him for anything.
He recently asked to be serious with me because he is looking to marry soon. I finally gave him, but he is nothing I expected!
He barely calls, and even though he comes online, he doesnt email me unless I mail him.
I dont know much about his background and his people because we dont talk that much, he says hes always busy, and when we talk hes always going to bed, when I call him, ifs its at night he rarely picks, afternoon I work so i cant call him as much as I want to.
He once asked for my sisters and friends number incase he couldnt reach me, but I couldnt give it to him, because I have to make sure he is something I would introduce to my family before I introduce my sisters to him.
They are very cynical towards Nigerian men.
But two weeks he traveled to his aunts house in france and not one family member did I speak to!
I can count on one hand how many times we talked, dont even mention emails!
I told him I feel like he doesnt care, and he insists that no one cares for me more than him, but he will show it better if we meet.
How can I want to meet him, when I feel like i barely know him? I told him that I would rather be friends, because I wont have as much expectation, but as a relationship, its lonely and a bit loveless.
We argue about it everyday, and he say he will change but tommorow the same thing.
I am more of a romantic person. I love attention, and adoration. No Im not being prude, its just the way I am, and I realize that some people are different. . I don’t really like telling people what I like in a relationship because it tends for the other person to change their ways in order to please me, when in fact that it is not their typical nature. and then problems arises when the person begins being themselves again and the other person is left unsatisfied again. I dont think I'm asking too much because I have dated other people with busy careers
How can I help him know what I want, or am Im being paranoid?