Hi guys, redpillers i need your support and encouragement. I'm down and heart broken. There is the single mother I have been dating for the past three years . We lived together with her child. I'm the one responsible for every thing though she do assist a little because her salary is not much. This year I have reasoned it thoroughly that I can not cope with the kind of life am living. Things are not going well for me. I can't afford some basic things not to talk about having savings. For the past three years now, i dont have any achievement to be proud of. I'm a monthly earner but my salary is not enough so I was dieing inside. Last two weeks i talk to her that we should just end the relationship. I explained to her that things are not working well for us and I need a break. I told her I will give her a 100 thousand plus * loan I took from my work place, to start up something. I would have rent a room apartment for her I don't think she will able to pay it herself .if am not there. At first she didn't agree but I have to convince her she accepted. The problem now I been alone now for one week I can't cope and I miss her. I felt pity for her. How is she going to survive when things are very expensive now, and i feel emotionally weak anytime my neighbor and people for area ask of her and her kid. I have never broke up with someone before this is my first time. Pls guys I need your advice. I want to forget about her and kill the feelings. For now I don't want to be in any relationship. Any thing involving woman I will run oo.

Zzor:
You are here telling us her own but she's not here to tell us your own since she's so comfortable doing that around you, there's a twist somewhere,what is it that you are not telling us?

na wao I see some people wan changed am for me here if you they wine and dine with criminal I don't. I don't like associating myself with a criminal. If you be my mother or sisters and you they steal I will expose you to the world after series of warning. I have done dat before to my blood brother. so i don't encourage stealing.

Truvel:
With D Level Of Stealing She Is Getting To Inspite Of Ur Warning, Don't Be Surprised Dat She Could Do Anything 4 Money, Even If It Takes Her To Sleep With Any Guy 4 Money. 4rm My Observation, She Is A Desperate Girl, A Materialistic Girl, Someone Who Is Not Content With What She Has.

Bro this one get me. I was thinking this one through out last night . This how she will been sleeping around and if i get to know about it. then She will b giving excuses how hungry and the lack of money push her

fuckingAyaya:
If her name cast for the company ur name to go cast u know what I mean

lol I feel very embarrassed and Shame catch me yesterday when I saw how she was loading the bag. This girl get mind even when there is CCTV in every place.

ajailer:
You shouldn't fight her cause of that. You should talk more with her on why she needs to stop as stuffs like that can never enrich her or make her a better person but instead will make her a worse person due to greediness and incontentment.

I have talk to her countless times that she should stop stealing from work. I tried to explain to her dat there is no work outside. she should hold on to her job very tight. don't let mistakes of life to ruin her. There is nothing
I didn't say to her. even this week Sunday when we were together similar issue came up. she was the one calling name of workers
who are into dat act. I advised her not to follow what others are doing cos she is the one taking full responsibility of her self
I told her if she loss her job now she will know how difficult things are. The funniest part she was among the few workers dat they increased their salary.

Hello pls I need your advice now. I don't know if i should end this relationship or tell her to give me some space for a while until she changed completely. My girlfriend and I have been together for closed to four months now. Though we both work at the same company. There is a day we both closed from work so she told me she will pass the night at my place. I said no problem, when we got home as she is about changing her dress cos she brought some dress along, which she kept inside her bag.
The moment she was bringing out those clothes out from her bag I saw some few products which the company produces. I search the bag to my surprise this girl stuffed the bag full with company goods. I ask her. what are you going to do with all this things you put inside your bag. she told me, it is for personal used. I got angry, when she saw the anger in me she start saying she is selling it to buyers outside. For that moment my mood change. I didn't say anything to her, so she was begging I should forgive her that she won't try such again. I said OK since she promised to stop. she vow not to do it again.
As at yesterday during the closing hour of work i saw her myself she was stealing the company products and hiding it inside her bag. I pretend I didn't see her, so when we got outside I called her to one lone place .
I told her, she put something in her bag she was laughing. I took her bag and showed her the things she took. She became remorseful.she said she had nothing to eat. was that an excuse. I left her without saying anything to her. I know no body holy but I hate stealing.

dairykidd:
Someone is helping u see right u dey do like stubborn goat. A girl that has had two failed relationships u know of from a single organization u still dey dream of wifeing her Do u know the number of hits and runs she has encountered in just that single establishment not to talk of the ones outside of work? Guy use ur head and save urself the problems awaiting to be stirred. Get out of that set up

Bro I have no plan to wife her, but i can't just dropped her liked dat cos i need a very tangible excuse to do dat. I am waiting for the day she will Bleep up then i will have something to hold on to. I have build a very good reputation in my work place so I don't want to mess things up. My only regret is allowing my man to use me.

lefulefu:
na wao..cant u be ur own man
must someone arrange a girl for u?
now the same man who arranged a girl for you now wants u to breakup with the girl
make up ur mind and be very firm in ur decision
dont allow ppl to play u like tennis ball
i am suspecting the man and so called girl u dating are are onto a sort of script
maybe they are doing this in order to gain something form u
u should be very careful with ppl and very firm in ur decisions
dont let ppl play u like tennis ball

lol not that i I can't approach a lady on my own. time no dey to dey chase them up and down, but if I see the one i like i do chase her. I am not the patient type that chases girls for long. once you give me an attitude I don't like I'll back off that's my only problem. You see this place i'm working nearly all the matured girls want to date me. I don't know why maybe they see me as the only sensible guy there cos others no dey use eye see girls. or they see that nice guy of a thing in me. one of them have approach me before i swear, she told me she don't have anyone dat she want me to be her guy fear catch me she was serious. I just playfully tell her I am not the kind of guy she needs. I told her God will provide her good husband who will have everything she needs in a man. I reason maybe as my friend see dat those girls like me that's why he wants me to be sleeping with them. For dat one I no gree o I don't like sleeping around, or he get other reasons I don't know.
Lefulefu this girl wen dey with me she no too get front but she carry for back infant the uku they grow every day. she no fat oo but her back erhn they germinate be like wetin they plant. she just be like those South African girl. I no sure if i fit leave the girl cos wetin i dey use take masturbate on xv....deo na dey with me so.

I have this senior colleague in my work place,though my friend but he is far older than me. he should be in his early fifties. Since we have been working together for a Long time. He notice i don't have any female friends and I don't date one either. One day he ask me if I have girlfriend I said no. He told me, why i do not have a girlfriend. I gave him reason ,why i don't need anyone for now. cos i am still struggling to settle down myself financially so I don't need distractions. I told him i'm still searching for one but on a low key i don't want to rush things. He laughed out loud saying how can a guy like me stay alone without having a girl I'm rubbing mind with. He said at my age is not good for a guy to stay lonely, that i need someone. He told me, if I'm seeing any girl out all. I said no, because I don't have time to meet pple. cos of the nature of my job and I'm also an introvert, not that social kind of a person. He laughed again this time asking me if I liked any girl in the place we worked. He said i should point out any girl for him. He will run her for me. I told him I'm not interest in a work relationship.For months that was how the man was putting pressure on me to date a girl, that he liked me to have one. I was able to resist him not until last month July i fall for him. I don't know how he arranged with the girl called Tina. I know Tina she works in the same department with me. She has been giving me green light but I chose to ignore her for a almost a year we have been working together. Tina is a single mum of one and she had two failed relationship which I knew of , though those guys got sacked anyway.
This man came to meet me saying Tina loved me very much she wants to date me. I told him clear and loud that OGA I don't liked this Tina of a girl and I don't want to date any girl in this place. That is how my friend started convincing again saying not that he wants me to date her, but i should chop and dump her . I smiled. I told him I'm not a player. I don't like changing girls any how I just like to be with one except she later misbehave then i break up with her. This man no gree me o. He later meet the girl telling her I wanted to see her. One day this girl came to meet me saying my friend told her I wanted to see her. I just smile. I told her i will see her after closing.
In my mind why is this man forcing this girl on me I didn't send him this message, and the same time i am beginning to accept her. at that moment I was really confused. After work closing hours she came to me to remind of my schedule with her. I just told her we should be friends. I mean more than a friend she agreed with a happy face. Inside me I don't really like the girl I don't know what entered me that moment.
That how we started dating. I don't love her but there are things I liked about her she has respect for me, she cook very well and whenever she visited, she always keep my room neat and tidy she washes my clothes too. she is not that demanding financially. I have gave her 150 naira before when came visiting and she gladly took it with thank you on top I was surprise. There is a day i pretend i don't have money to buy food stuff to cook and she was with me, na so the babe go kitchen carry garri soak with water we ate together that day and still nak her join. with all this from her I beginning to have feelings for her. mind you i masturbate a lot and I also frequent an ashawo house. Since meeting her I don't do any those things again.
My problem now the same man that has been talking me to date a girl and forcing Tina on me. He has been on my neck recently telling me to leave the girl, she not good for me, my level is higher than her. She won't make a good house wife cos Akwa Ibom girls are very stubborn and rude that I can't control her. she is this and that.
pls I'm confused right now this man is very serious with it. For now i don't think i can leave her cos she has done nothing to me. I have told her from the beginning I don't like a girl double dating and also cheating. If I find out ,that will be the end. I don't like a entitled person and she should give that full time respect to me and the same way I will give to her too. I told her i no get wahala, but if she failed do any of this things she should kiss the relationship good bye.
This my friend still keep on disturbing me to dump her but I don't know the reason he is doing that. I'm just confused i don't know what to do.

For the first time, since my birth in Nigeria. I ve never experience utmost power supply compare to what I am seeing now. I am not here to praise anybody but i am surprised and same time excited to one time in my life i will be experiencing 20 to 22 power supply everyday. It has been 3months and still counting. If you care to know which area? Well I live in Ibadan. I don't know the other part of the city but in my area I dey enjoy the light steady.

placeofallure:
So you brought her issue to Nairaland because of 2k? Oh my! You have a poverty mentallity OP and you're a hypocrite too. You don't want to be seen as stingy but you actually are. It's either you give her as you would any other friend, male/female or you bluntly tell her you can't part with your money for nothing.
Well, I don't blame you. I blame the leech of a girl and parasites like her who prefer to be beggars instead of working. Nigeria has gotten to the point that any legit hustle is a hustle. Engineers now bake cake, Lawyers are now cobblers, Teachers are Fashion Designers so no biggie if you're engaged doing something legit so you won't beg from people who wouldn't keep your secrets secret like OP.

let me clear myself to you. I really like this girl, but I don't like how she use to complain of not having all the time. I don't have any issue with the money it's a very small money. Don't you think if i give her the money now (without making any move cos I know deep down in me I want to date her). she will come back and ask for more, by then I be on the losing side. The reason why i brought this to nairaland is because i am confused of the decision to take. One part of me is telling me to forget the girl or should just play along and see how it ends. This girl i know is the type that can be easily be laid by spending small on cash on her, cos all her talks involves money. I still have some conscience .and i don't want to take advantage of any body, cos of the situation they find themselves.yet I don't want to go into any relationship with a girl that will keep demanding from me constantly cos I am still a hustler.

ebonyggurl:
why is it that guys hate helping out their female friends in need without bedding them first? Just curious
Imagine you a guy asking another guy for help...and he says you should blow him first

hey sis not all guys take advantage of girls why helping them. I am one of them, my ex girlfriend dat broke up with me 3 years ago we are still communicating till date. I have helped her many times financially but I never for once took advantage of her. She did all a woman would have done to get me fall for her I no gree. I always tell her to focuse on her family and build a happy home. I have given help to few girls without thinking twice. As for girls DAT feel entitled to every thing in this life either I get something in return or I avoid you. There is a girl i approach not quite long ago we live in thesame street. Just like I met her today, the next day she told me she is celebrating her birthday like play like play na so the babe come begin task me for money. I come use style promise her say I go give her if I get. dats how the girl come begin give me close marking. Any time i come outside from house. I always see her standing at the gate waiting for me, cos she knows the time I used to go to work. She come day remind me of the money. I just vex one day arrange small money give her .dat was the last time i reason her matter. I no give her face again.

Calapar:
Bros, cut her off. I swear she won't allow you bleep in the name of church. She'd scam and continue to scam you.

thank you bro

LilMissFavvy:
You have not mentioned your age, if you are up to the age of dating, begin to search for a good girl who has parents that cater for her, or who has a job. The girl you are referring to here is a broke hungry lady. It is not really nice for a lady to start telling you she is hungry and broke within one month of you and her getting a bit close. But if you have the financial ability, and you know you can be providing for her, then you can continue.

Thank you for the piece of advice. Initially when I met her she was working. I always see her going to work every day, dat is what attracted me to her. But within the first one week we met, she told me she has stopped working. I try to know why and also convinced her not to quit her job. She told me she wants to learn a trade. So i didn't meet her as a jobless girl. My only fear now I don't want to invest in a place i won't reap the reward. Naija don't cast now, every person wan claim wise now.

SkinnyNigga:
"I have only ask her out once, and she turned down my request. "

"I have not ask her to be my girlfriend"

op na which one wey we go believe? e be like say you are going nuts

I only ask to see her in person instead of talking with her on phone all d time.

Pls help me out. I can't reason well because of konji. There is this girl I met in my hood last month. The chatting has be good especially on phone calls. The problem now is dat the girl has one special kind of greeting or words she always uses whenever we're talking on phone. She always complain of being broke and hungary, though she didn't not ask me of anything. just dat she always complain of not having money and food to eat. I know she is trying to send a message. I have only ask her out once, and she turned down my request. I didn't get bother anyway. I was still talking with her on phone. Sunday evening she called me on phone as we were talking , she said,she needs something from me and I ask what is that. She needs 30,000 naira. I laughed out loud and told her you mean 30 billion. she said no just that she needs 2 thousands naira she wants to used it on church things. She told me she will come to my place to collect the money. I didn't say anything to her but I told her I will get back to her. Since then I ve be thinking if I should forget everything about her and move on, cos I once deleted her number before but she has been the one calling. Or should I play along with her and see what the outcome would be. I have not ask her to be my girlfriend. She has been the closest girl that have come close to me since 3years of me being single. To the female nairalandler dat will be reading this post i did not come here to talk down or make mockery of any female gender here. Just dat i am dealing with matter of the heart. If you feel offended sorry.

CAPSLOCKED:


YOU NEVER SEE ANYTHING.

pls i don't understand what you me by I never see anything.

WhiZTiM:
Have you checked your mouth odor?

. I understand you bro. So you want to tell me now all these people DAT are into relationship don't have mouth odour or body odour. Well I don't joke with my hygiene.

CAPSLOCKED:


DO YOU HAVE MONEY?

I don't have money but i be dat hustling guy sha. Why you dey mention money how e use take relate with ordinary friendship with girls.

I don't have money but i be dat hustling guy sha. Why you dey mention money how e use take relate with ordinary friendship with girls.

Guys i'm ready for your bashing. I don't care. I need to say what's is in mind here. I'm in my late twenties now, you know i am not getting any younger. It's has been five years, Since the break up from the last relationship I had. I have been single since then. The problem right now whenever I'm trying to go into any relationship either friendship or courtship with any girl i always get rejected. even before showing my intentions and that leave me heart broken.for Instance why will I approach a girl at the initial stage thinking she is different from others base on her response and doings hoping dat at least if even though na friendship i use take start e no bad. I go come collect number reach house finish. I go say make i call the number na man come dey answer the call or she will give wrong number. Some girls will attend to me nicely for the first time,but the next day they will act totally deferent. Some will snub if I try to approach again. Some girls will just change direction,may be they used to walk a particular road in my street before. The moment I approach them they wil change their movement. The one that angered me most was when i visited a girl we both live in the same street , so one Sunday evening I decided to pay a visit at her home. The moment she saw me at her place she come dey act strange. I just tell myself this girl no need me ,within a seconds na so she tell me say she dey go some where. Oboy so the girl use take discharge me comot from her house oo. So nairaland I need your comments I just want to relief myself from unnecessary thinking if you like call me low self esteem or ugly, body nd mouth odour agree. I just want to clear off my mind.

Core9ja:
Delete all the porn videos on your phone, since you can't get a girlfriend or get married, you might to continue your brothel parole with protection until you decide to settle down with a woman otherwise the masturbation will eventually kill every sensuality in you.

I don't like having porn movies on phone because I no like repeating one video scene many times.and I don't like passwording my phone. I watch all porn movies online and after that I delete d browser history. the problem now is how do I stop to subscribing for data to watch videos online cos there re many ways that I can use to subscribe for data tru my bank, network credit. as at now I'm even owning MTN 400naira I borrowed last one week just to use it tosub for data. I don stop ashawo parole cos I don't really fancy the one I see for here in Ibadan. last year December I fought with a prostitute in one of d brothel na serious fight blood flow everywhere and they have to call the security to intervene. since then I promised not visit a brothel. I just want to live a responsible life.

Shakushaku1:


Lmao bad guy, but on the real though, it's up to you to quit watching porn, like u gas make up ya mind, stand by it and never fall, easier said than done, but there's no rule to it, pple will come with lot of suggestions, frm prayers to getting busy and stuff, but ur brain is wired in a way that u will ways have the urge and find a way to do the do.. So make up ur mind,cos without it, all other routine will fail..

that is why I brought it here so DAT I can get some suggestions. I've been reading d comments here and I have gather some ideal ways to go about it. Thank u.

Shakushaku1:


Who's ya favorite IndecentStar? Mine is nyomi banxx and channel heart, u fit check dem out, badas babes

Salutes bro u dey game too. I don't have any favorite porn star but I luv crystal clear from d bbw world I don't know if she has retired now.I know Cherokee d ass,and messaratti. I luv home made ebony videos it real to me and fat ass bbw videos. don't forget black creamy pu**y get f **ked. mehn just watching those videos can make me cum six times a day.

pcguru1:

Ibadan has babes nau. You can't tell me you one meet one lady and make something happen, there are students I mean.

bro Ibadan is a very large city and the area I'm staying is made of 90 per cent Muslim so majority of the girls there are Muslim and hard core Yorubas so they have nothing to do with strangers dat how they are brought up with.someone told me they flow with their own and not strangers,and the only way you can get them somehow is when u can speak the language fluently. I'm DAT kind of introverted guy from home to work.I don't really have DAT time to go far to meet and mingle with people.but now I'm try to go to places like mall, bar and doing some clubbing.

sherylbakky:
If dats d case, u ar sure of ur look n u knw u can take care of a woman.

Y not use dis logic? Post on NL hookup, u can also check religious dating sites. Make it clear d kinda lady u want n include ur very location. I'm sure u ar gonna get msgs or calls, do dat wit another moniker, u can post more dan once.

You dont just need a girlfrnd, u need to marry, if u ar up to d task.

Dont date outside ur location, distance relationship is not for u.

Stop watching porn, it does more harm dan good. If
it means giving som1 ur devices for som time, do dat n get a smal phone for cal.

Stay cool.

Thanks bro. but for d issue of using small phone I've sold many smart phone just because I wanted to stop masturbation yet it seems i'm just wasting my money on phones. The porn movies has really gotten into my brain sometimes I don't really need phone to play it. all I need do is to visualize it in my mind that's all. so using small phone can't really change anything.

ike24:


My brother u are not a lonely , i think the problem is very common to guys with poor social skills couple with high speed data , i dont even know the advice to give u but i can assure u dat u are not alone for u to even come out here and say this ....... well GOD we see every one suffering from such through, feel free to call me if u ever want to talk about 09050264513

thank u bro I appreciate your kind gesture.

pcguru1:



Well that one no be problem, sincerely there are lot of women that will do that, but it depends on how you talk and approach, there are alot more women walking around than you think that sometimes too want romance and sex just that they would prefer it in a relationship, it's just your manner of approach and how you talk. Where do you stay?

currently I live in Ibadan from Delta state.

sherylbakky:
Av u checked ursef?
Y do u think u cud b aving much rejection from girls?

bro I've checked myself very well and I used to ask myself some question like why am I getting rejections and what is it I,'m nt doing right. though I have some flaws I can lie u. I no b ugly guy oo even when I was still in my state then I've had many advances from d girls. some girls confessed they're tripin and some fall in loved with me. that year for school during one of the semester exam a girl once kissed and romance me in the presence of over 400 students and a lecturer. she did it on the platform when all eyes was on us dat day I was not conversant with the girl. I only knew her to be a course mate. A friend to my guy girlfriend kiss and romance me in presence of my girlfriend ask her why she was acting DAT way ,she said she can't resist my look .I had to make her apologize to my girlfriend dat day. today is not another story . na me come d hussle for woman I don't know if was because I change environment could it tribal differences, language barrier and some other factor I can't understand.

pcguru1:


WTF commit suicide over woman, you smoking crack what's wrong with you, calm down, there's no guy here in this thread that hasn't been rejected so why do you want to kill yourself as for the masturbation maybe you should limit it how much you masturbate because trust me alot of people here in this thread masturbate both men and women we just don't say it out, but yours if I were to guess I think you want to have sex so bad and you can't seem to approach women properly which causes your rejection and this fear of rejection makes you retreat to a safe zone which is masturbation. Have you had sex before? I am not trying to ridicule you.

haha bro I didn't mean to commit suicide oo I was just playing with words. but i really need d sex oo i just need something physical like romance kissing and some good Bleep some wonderful sex styles. not visual or visiting d brrothel. I just need some one. to ur question yes I have had sex before with a prostitute and a girl now my ex girlfriend.

I'm a chronic masturbator I don't know how i get myself into dis shit. This year has been a worst year in my life and I can't control d way I mastubate. I don't know if it is due to depression and loneliness.

This year I made a promise not to visit the brothel though I have kept to the promise. My problem now I have done everything possible to make sure I stop masturbation but I can't just stop it. The highest I can go is a week then return to normal.

It's affecting me especially in my work place. cos during the working days the time I will get to rest I will used it to browse the net (night browsing you understand) using it watch porn movies online without getting a sleep and a enough wanking. This has made me less productive in my work. I wil look so weak and tired and I will b having some dizziness at worked. My co workers have took note of it and my boss too. Though he has not really take action or give me quarries maybe be cos I'm d hard working type and I expect that soonest.

The bigger problem now my dick is always embarrassing me publicly I can't just control it. any time I 'm with the opposite sex I always having a strong Boner. There is a day i was at home washing my clothes I was all alone in the compound cos everyone left for their various places, suddenly a small girl walked into the compound she should be 14 to 15 years old but she has a very matured physique. She was selling pap (akamu). She walked to me asking of someone living in the compound and as I was answering and I was not having any bad thought in my head oo but found out my dick got erected when I was talking to her. I didn't know oo cos I put on a lit boxer I saw her looking below, for my mind why dis girl dey look ground and I just checked myself I found out my penis was fully erect. Mehn I couldn't stand the shame and embarrassment I gave to myself that day.

Yesterday something similar happened but wit my neighbour daughter DAT she is in SS1. I was in kitchen cooking oo so she came in to fetch WATER, as she bowed down to get the water her bra got exposed I saw her breast cos she got big breast I couldn't resist myself, I had a strong boner again but this time she didn't notice anything but I had rushed to my room to cool down myself while my food is on fire burning. I just weak and getting a girlfriend has been very difficult for me. The rejections I have had from girls would make someone to commit suicide.

This life shall I could still remember 3 years back when I had nothing. I hav to use my new Nokia touch light phone as collateral for a cup of garri 25naira then, but the seller refused to sell for me. Up till date I'm still wondering how I survived DAT day.