Awesome work.

Why not? No problem with it.

toksdam:


The practice of tribal marks serve a cultural purpose, while some were given at birth, many grew up to get it themselves, if we use a federal legislation to attack a local cultural practice on many years, it will amount to an affront to the way of life of our people. I will rather suggest that the legislation should be towards making it an item of choice and preserving the right of a child to take or reject the tribal mark. But if we go ahead and destroy this practice, there will be nothing to research and understand by 7 generations down the line about how we lived and what could be learnt from the former generation. As at today, the practice is not so popular anymore. we do not cut off the head because of headache, more so the people should consult very widely with the people in the villages. My view is formed from a purely academic point of view. Sustainability is very key to human existence.

Well said.

Themainchick11:
I'm dark
I desire to have a lighter shade of dark. I don't want to bleach
Which cream can I use?
I just finished using Extract cream
no effect. Im presently using Caro white
I dunno if its okay

You cannot be using Extract and Caro White and say you are not bleaching. Bleaching and toning are the exact same thing. Toning can cause skin cancer, and your skin will look worse than when you had not used it.

Instead of changing your skin colour, embrace it for the unique sun-loved melanin-charged chocolate African goodness that it is, and discard the Western mentality. If you have blemishes, focus on evening your skin colour, not toning/bleaching it. You can use many natural products, like shea butter, black soap, camwood, aloe vera gel, neem oil and many others. It takes some time, but trust me, from experience, they have helped my skin in the long run, and I am more confident not wearing makeup now than I had been before.

Learn to love your skin, and by doing so, you will learn self love in the process. Good luck!

The same God was forced upon us by the oyinbos you speak of.

Kaycee7:
[/b]

I read all you said but bulleting starts to accumulate.

1. Sexual attraction is definitely psychological. Biology (i.e hormones) can influence sexual attraction, but does not control it. No matter how aroused someone becomes, the moment they hear a phone call telling them their beloved ones have died, the sexual attraction depletes instantly, and they usually enter a state of shock and grief. That goes to show that the attraction is in the mind, and is dominantly controlled by the mind. I have found myself to be highly attracted to certain guys, but that does not mean I will go and tie them down to the floor to sleep with me. Why? Because my mind controls my body, and by extension, I control myself. And please dont tell me that men are naturally perverts, because that is abso-bloody-lutely ridiculous. There is no excuse for rape, not now, not ever.

2. It's good that you respect the females around you. It's also good that you pointed out "modern" times. Because traditions change. Some people could argue that the idea of men being "ATMs" came from our traditional beliefs. But now all of sudden many men are complaining about that title. It shows that they want to change that tradition. So tradition is dynamic, not constant. There is more flexibility between men and women and the roles they share in the society today, so tradition is not a valid argument. And about the "women earning more" part, the problem is the men that have this personal issue are usually the ones running their mouths on social media, or even on the streets. That's not a good look for you guys.

3. The problem is, though, that these uncivilised boys are representing the males of the society. And it seems that many people agree with their views, considering the number of likes their posts receive daily. Honestly, women are trying when it comes to letting their voices be heard, because presumably "good" men do not speak against the opinions of these boys, and so it appears that every man are like these people on social media. If you keep silent on these issues, then what's the point of saying "not everybody..."? Because to our eyes, the men belonging in the "not everybody" category virtually do not exist. Evil happens because good people do not speak against them. That is exactly the situation of rape culture.

Yes, I am aware of the invisibility of male suffering. Very much so. I have recently experienced such from beloved ones' actions towards themselves, so do not think I do not care about men. But invisibility of male suffering is promoted by men themselves; you cannot deny this. The desire to be confident, stronger and better than woman until they die has caused men to deny that they are also emotional beings, and the constant denial of this leads to depression and suicide. Women are actually quite open to listen to male suffering, because they themselves can emphasise through their own suffering perpetuated by the society (it is only men who fit into the privileged category of oppressors that women will directly refuse to sympathy with, which is normal, because who sympathises with your tormentor?). Men need to start speaking up about this issues faced by them in the society, and I am glad that people of the new generation are using social platforms to get the message across, including women (check BellaNaija or Woman NG and search for articles speaking about male suffering and solutions towards it).

However, it is still the women who suffer the most in the world, and that is why men have always had the media to speak out for centuries, but women took over the internet (which was built fairly recently), because it was the first place for them to anonymously talk about their experiences and speak against violence towards them without being killed for it. It does not matter which individual man or woman suffered more; at the end of the day, a group of people who have been oppressed for centuries will end up fighting for justice, at the expense of the individual suffering of the oppressors. That's how it has been between blacks and whites with slavery, that's how it is now between women and men with oppression.

4. I don't know how many times I will tell you that a woman dresses for HERSELF, not for men's eyes. Just like men dress for themselves, and not for women's eyes. Sure, during dates or dress code events, people feel compelled to dress for each other, but that's literally it. Live and let live, people. Goodness me, to think that a simple act like dressing could cause some men to lose their mental thinking capacity.

Not all of us are asking for it.

And if you (men in general) are so concerned as to whether a woman, based on clothing, wants to have sex with you:

Why not just ask?

indigene:
Do a factory reset, the password will be erased.
Shut the phone down,hold the power and volume buttons and follow prompt

Dont do that, you will erase the contacts as well. Put the sim in another phone and check if there are any sim contacts, then call someone to assist you in reaching the owner of the phone.

Nigeriadondie:
@ Kizzyblazee
Blaming every rape on the victim is senseless. It is like blaming a murder victim for his/her death at the hand of a serial killer. Rather than blame the men who cant control themselves or rather get someone who wud give them consent to ve sex with.
So small kids who are raped or sexually abused by adults who are pedophiles are to be blamed? Pls reason well na. If it was your sister who goes her own way peacefully was raped wud it be fair if she was blamed? How wud u feel?

I wish I could like this a billion times. Exactly my point. Respect.

Kaycee7:
Both are seen in a sexual way because they're both body parts that cause sexual excitement.

You need a facepalm, honestly. If they are both seen in a sexual way, why dont we say the same about naked babies? Why is the adult body sexual but not the children's body? There is no denying they have reproductive organs, so what is your point? Cant you see that your opinion on sexual arousal being triggered by unclothedness is taught to you by the society, and not born within you?

It is also when women stop viewing men as their ATM and personal bodyguard that things will get better. If you feel oppressed, do something about it.

I dont see any man as my ATM. Not even my father. Men see THEMSELVES as an ATM. Men call themselves the head of the home, but what are you heading? Men call themselves the provider of the home, but what exactly are you providing? If a woman is expected to have a job, take care of the children, buy the food from the market, cook and clean, what EXACTLY are men doing in the house? People in marriages have their own mutually agreed way of sharing roles, and that is fine, but when men call themselves providers of the home, and call their wives the caretakers, that should solely be their role, and not shared with the women, because that is what was agreed. If men call themselves the caretakers, and the wives are providers, that should be their role. And if both the men and women call each other the provider and caretaker, they should share the roles equally between them. Which means it should not hurt their male ego if the woman earns more, because the roles have been shared. When men peacefully accept that women can earn more than them, then their male mentality of being an ATM will cease to exist.

Quit your whining and grow up, you big baby. It's not 5000B.C. It's the freaking 21st century. Women could have protested about the media working conditions or refuse to work outright. The men who run the media could choose to dialogue with them or crossdress. You think it's only women that are required to walk and dress a certain way? Ever heard of men not allowed to wear shorts to church? Ever heard of men forced to wear long sleeves to work? Aren't men being trafficked too?

Now you are truly being completely ignorant. I think you are trolling at this point. I would advise you to go to any thread on Nairaland featuring a woman as the focal point, and tell me you will not see men flocking to the thread to slam her down about the way she dresses, her makeup, her lack of makeup, her big breasts, her small breasts, her weight, her shoes, her mouth structure, her marriage, her singlehood etc. You can never be satisfied, can you? Damned if we do, damned if we dont. You are completely ignoring the fact that women suffer FAR more in their lives than men do, and you act ignorant because their suffering benefits you and your life. You mean to tell me that the number of men are being trafficked is the same as the number of women? How about rape? Is that the women's fault too? How about child marriage? Is that the female child's fault too? How about Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), is that the female baby's fault? How about Domestic Violence? Miscarriages by domestic violence? Is that the unborn baby's fault, or even the mother's fault?

You know I can go on and on and on. Because the level of problems men face can not even begin to compare what women face every single day of their lives, BY men. Women do not violate anybody's human right when they wear less clothes, but men DO violate the human rights of women when they use that as a flimsy excuse to commit crime against a fellow human being, just because she is a woman. Get that straight and clear.

jworos:
Crochet

Tech
Hot
Echo

My word: Consume.

Kaycee7:
I don't know which part of Africa you're from. But in Igboland, where I'm from, in the old days, people dressed decently. The young maidens wore an upper cloth to cover their brea5ts and a short wrapper from waist down. Married women wore a long cloth from brea5ts to below the knee. Young men wore a wrapper from waist down and older men wore a long cloth usually knotted at the neck or shoulder.

What exactly do you mean by turning nudity into a sexual asset?

Don't blame men for women's depiction in the media. I haven't heard any reports that they're forced to wear those outfits and dance at gunpoint. If women had consistently refused to perform those roles, men would stop asking. That the media won't shine a spotlight on you for dressing decently is no reason to dress indecently.

Define "decency".

Like you pointed out, men did not and still do not cover their chest area. Another word used traditionally for what you refer to as "abs" is breasts (as used in, for example, the bible. And I have no idea why you are censoring the word, as if it's a swear word). The difference between the male breast and the female breast is that the female breast is used for feeding children when they have given birth. That is why it swells. And it is ONLY ever used after birth, and stops functioning later. Other that that, would you elaborate to me why the male breast can be revealed freely with no complaints while the female breast cannot be revealed, considering that NEITHER of them are used for reproduction and therefore NEITHER of them should be seen in a sexual way, like patriarchal men usually think?

And I SHOULD blame men for women's depiction in the media, since the media is run by MEN. The entertainment industry is run by MEN. The technology industry is run by MEN. The government is run by MEN. You sound somewhat ignorant to the reality of what many women are suffering from. It is men that demand women to act a certain way, walk a certain way, talk a certain way, in order to fit into their patriarchal society. And in case you haven't been reading the news lately, many women ARE forced to dress a certain way. Ever heard of women being forced to wear hats in church? Ever heard of them being forced to wear skirts at work? Ever heard of human trafficking, mate?

So it is when men RESPECT the sovereign individuality of women that what you claim to be "indecency" will decrease. It is when men can consider women as equal partners that things will change. It is when men stop viewing women as their cooking possessions, punching bags and sexual objects that things will get better. It is when men view women as HUMAN BEINGS JUST LIKE THEM that a better Nigeria will ensue.

Stop blaming the victims of patriarchy for everything. Blame the oppressors. And if you are so offended by what you call "indecency", stand up from your device and actually DO something about it.

xynerise:


So because the body is yours you can walk the street naked?

Men don't/hardly walk the street bare chested unless he wants to get in a fight or just finished fighting .

You dress to feel comfortable yet adjust your dress to cover your thigh...confusion is what I call it.

Look above ^.
And come up with something more critically constructive. At least the guy above you tried.

Kaycee7:
Your body is yours, alright. That's why you should guard it because no one else will guard it for you. We don't receive backlash because we don't go to social functions or outings topless. Besides, women are hypocritical about their dressing. You can't dress provocatively and claim it's for yourself. Big f**cking lie. Even when we guys wear stuff that show off our chest and abs, it's because we want to arouse the ladies. We don't deny it and we don't turn down passes.

Actually, a lot of men do go to outings revealing their chest, or sagging jeans. YOU may not, but a great number of men do. On top of that, you dont receive backlash no matter how you dress because of patriarchal privilege. And if anyone is a hypocrite, it's the majority of men who think this way. Nigerian women in the entertainment industry, for instance, dont receive a lot of publicity when they cover up compared to males who dont even have to worry about such. Again, male singers use female nudity to sell their songs. People like Olamide are more famous than Timi Dakolo, because of his use of nudity in songs, which men buy. I'm not saying I agree with this in terms of context, if fact it makes me cringe, but if men did not demand for such in a discriminating manner, it would not happen.

And if you havent yet noticed, it is men like you who are turning nudity into a sexual thing. Africans in general have long embraced parts of nudity in their culture before colonisation. You even see them in artifacts. Why? Because we live in a blazing hot climate! We are not Americans, for goodness sake! Why must we copy everything foreign? Are we not the ones who invented what is now commonly referred to as the "miniskirt"? Do we not reveal parts of our body in certain traditional wears? It's men like you who are turning nudity into a sexual asset, when it never was like that in Africa in the first place, meaning that, once again, you are the problem. Stop borrowing foreign mentality and embrace your own.

A woman's body is not a possession for men to claim. Her body is her own, not for your pleasure. You and other men would not receive backlash for going topless, or sagging your jeans, but it somehow becomes a problem when women do so, as if their existence is based on your dictatorship. It is men like you who lack self-control and respect for people's decisions, and you are therefore the problem, not the women. Let people dress the way they feel comfortable. It is their Human Right.

agongajoseph:
he never meant harm, he thought his buddy was joking as usual. Why u carry am for head...these Nigerian Christians dem sef

How can depression and thoughts of suicide be a joke??! Have Nigerians really lost their minds? Who would see that message from a family member and think it to be a flipping joke?!

Why censor "rape", "breast", and "manhood"? Are these now swear words? Poor journalism at its worst.

I hope the girl will get the support she needs, and the man be convicted for attempted rape. Rape should not be tolerated at all, and the elderly committing it shows that wisdom does NOT improve with age. It improves with self-control.

Lock him up.

This man needs to be exposed for the wickedness he has done. If this was another country, he would have been arrested for assisted suicide.
RIP Ariyo. You will surely be missed.

ashantigirl83:
I just feel like my life is a bad dream.

My mother was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer in July 2014 and given 1 year to live.

Thank GOD, she defied doctors and is still here almost 3 years later.

However, the cancer had spread to the bone and brain. Although they were able to 'cure' the cancer in the bone/brain, the one in the lung remains and still growing.

Therefore they have stopped treatment and said she only has months e.g. 3 months to live. This was in Jan 2017.

I feel like we are being punished. We have made mistakes in the past and repented, but I feel like we are being punished.

I am sad and angry at God, there are people who have done worse - those evil politicians etc and they are enjoying their life whilst a mother is just trying to train her kids and enjoy her life quietly (her children - I am oldest age 23, middle child age 21 and youngest age 18) with her husband (my dad)

I am confused, look at those girls who had children as a teenager or at a young age out of wedlock - should I have joined them so that my mother would have been able to see my kids and hold her grandchild? I am angry, bitter and jealous of a girl who is my age and had a baby out of wedlock age 20, her mother and grandmother are alive to see that child..whilst I am still a virgin age 23, and my mother is terminally ill only expected to live a few months and not see my children/her grandchildren - who gained?

I still have hope in God, as since November 2016 they were saying she only has weeks but she is still here, but now they said months in Jan 2017.

She has made 'some' progress considering her situation, e.g. she used to have seizures up to 5 times in one day but after many prayers the seizure has stopped on itself. She could not walk, and was on wheelchair - but now after many prayers and annointing oil she can walk and climb stairs. She seems to be having a sharper memory and she looks very healthy, but she still has that diagnosis over her and is still very unwell.

I feel like dying because I feel like my life is falling apart! Like we are cursed! Our enemies will be happy and those who have been jealous of my families previous success will be secretly happy if she dies.

Yesterday, I felt like breaking down - I am not from a rich family at all, but yesterday my dad paid a herbalist £1,500 which is 591,997.58 Nigerian Naira because we are desperately searching for alternative treatments as the doctors have given up on her. £1,500 is no joke, we are not rich at all and I know he suffered to get that money but we are desperate, and the man looks like a 419 but we are desperate.

This shame is too much, look what we have been reduced to!


I was originally catholic but now have joined redeemed and another church aswell as my catholic so I am currently running up and down going to 3 different churches aswell as praying at home. Plus trying to study for my final exams but finding it hard to concentrate.
My life is a mess,please help me

If my mum dies it is either because
1. God is not a good God and he let her die. Spare me that BS about if she dies its for the best and God knows best, what can be best about an 18 year old boy losing his mother? A mother who don dey sow sow sow and neva fit reap?

2. God is not real... and I have been living and defending a lie my whole life, and I have no divine protection...

Firstly, i apologise for your mother's situation, and I know this must be a troubling time. However it's unfair for you to use your virginity as an achievement just because you are a 'boy', while shaming girls who became pregnant at a young age by your fellow 'boys'. Do you consider their situation like your mother's? Do you consider whether they were raped (which they would never tell people due to stigma), or were drugged, or blackmailed by these same boys? Do you consider that the boys are also at fault for the pregnancy, and should hold the same responsibility? Do you consider that due to their young age, they are more likely to die from labour, like what your mother is going through?

I don't mean to sound insensitive, but you cant shame one group of people to gain sympathy for yourself, it is just not fair. These girls and your mother go through such a difficult period in their lives, but people are quick to judge them and shame them until relatives around them are affected by these situations. Please dont do that. I get that you are frustrated, but it is never a good excuse to shame others in a similar disadvantaged situation.

Nevertheless, I do feel for your situation. Try to remember that you are not alone in this struggle. Try to remember that there are even young children as young as 2 years old who are battling with cancer, and those who have died from it, never truly living their lives. Try and be grateful that your mother has lived many years and most likely had a fulfilling life. I know it is not easy losing a loved one, especially through cancer. I may not yet have known anyone with cancer yet, but I did lose a dear friend of mine to stabbing when he was 13, and I was 10 at the time. I have also lost my father when I was 3, and grandmother at 16. I am 18 now, just like you.

I understand the pain of losing a loved one when you are still young. Just remember this. Many of us on this thread, myself included, would love to see your mother back to health again. But you must consider the possibility of losing her as well. I know this is a very scary thought, but this is very important, and is in no way reducing your trust in God, or your love for your mum. Knowing this, I say you make the most of the doctors' predicted time with your mother. Make these months the best months you ever had with your mother. Make her feel loved, and accomplished. Make her feel strong, and encourage her every day. If she is able, take her to places she has always wanted to travel to. And if not, decorate her rooms to what she loves. All these things can strengthen her resolve to fight against cancer, and who knows, maybe she will strike second time victorious. But if she does lose the fight, you will have been prepared, and the memories you will have given her will have given you and her a closure that will never be forgotten. All the things you would have wanted to do with her will have be completed. And it would make you stronger and hopeful for the days onwards.

So have hope, and stay strong. I would also advise strongly to stick to one church only, as going to many different churches is only going to stress you out, as many churches are not genuine in helping you and are only after your finances. Better yet, dont go at all, or only go on Sundays for services and nothing else. You need to be with your mother during this period, and your church can be with her, praying as a family. Also, explain your situation to your school so that they can give you time to be with your mother, away from examinations. If they dont accept, they are not a good school and you should change schools asap, as that would be callous. Your dad shouldn't have paid that money if you dont believe in herbalist power, but theres nothing that can be done about that now, unless the herbalist is kind enough to refund.

I know its easy to blame God if your mother passes away, and maybe you are right, but cancer has evolved due to industrialisation brought about by the western countries, which has caused radiation that people are constantly exposed to, and toxic ingredients and GM products added to foods, clothes and cosmetics, as well as pollution in the air, water and earth which produces plants to eat, that have all contributed to cancer. So dont be too hard on yourself or God. If you need someone to blame, by all means do so if that helps you to cope. But know that blaming only wastes time and effort. Instead, use the majority of your time and energy living life to the fullest with your mother. It will make you and your mother a lot happier.

Remember, you are not alone. Fellow Nairalanders and I will be praying for your mother, and some of us, myself included, will be willing to help you on your way. So stay positive!

ruffhandu:
Is this for real or photoshop? Where did this take place if it is real?

It is Photoshopped. Notice how straight and neat the wording is, like that of a word processor, even though the people are holding a banner susceptible to foldings and creases in the wind. The OP is trolling.