just finished going through that mail. wow my oh my. if every word of it is believable, against all ive posted earlier and the slight reservation i have about him feeling he is the last bus stop and that you cant do better than what he has to offer, take a deep breath if you can forgive him, marry this guy. qed.

forgot to add that it was a mistake you didnt introduse 'honourable' to him. he has lost his job his is insecure to say the least and his violating you is just to tell himself that even if, which i believe you were not, dishing it out its still his. in his state of mind i can tell a lot of s.hit does really happen.

baby girl i do not envy you. but you have to pick up the pieces from somewhere. me thinks the marriage should be anulled first of all. look for someone that he listens to a friend or relative who can tell him to back off. you are all he has working for him right now and he will do anything to make this living hell he is in right now, freeze. if he can back off and reduce all the drama that is going on right now it might give you a clear head to think straight.

my knee jerk feeling is that quite a bit has gone out of hand and i can feel your hurt on his infidelity. to love a man single heartedly for ten years is no piece of cake and can not be treated with such triva. like i said earlier you did all for love and dont we all. help him if you can to get councelling if he is open to it. take it easy and slow apologise to your family and ask them to soft pedal and calm it down. we all make mistakes.

finally surround yourself with friends that believe in you so you can wade through this hurricane intact when you are logged off and nlanders like me can only wish you the best.

me thinks otherwise. the marriage was a sham as it was done for a particular purpose - get her posted to abj. so even though there is a legality here the motive still bellies the action. you dont, i repeat, dont abuse or violate the woman you love. all is crashing around this guy and like a contributor said ealier on, he is taking out on our dear sister. that is totally not acceptable 10 years nd more or not. for some things you need to start all over again. i take the poster's word that she has been faithful .politician or not. some ladies can stand their ground and some men are truly honourable.

one thing rings in my ear though poster believes he still loves her. that i dont understand but that she is iritated by his presence she can explain further which she is willing to flow with

we all look for what we think we dont have and therefore need. some of us guys are beating our chests that our exs cant stand but go jelly when they see us now. believe you me it might just be that some of us just havent found another babe with better moves or she has an A with distinction in bleeping.

so guys it works both ways.

on another note when that special chemistry is there which did not hold out over time, you never know, it might just be all systems go again.

under presure the real us glitters out. i concede the fact that a man's ability to be a man ie having the means to be a provider is very important for his ego to be intact. this has been diminished by his not having a job presently and has made him go bunkers. its even worse that he violated you in the heat of his craze - he just wanted to demonstrate his dominion over you irrespective.
my submission is thus: both of you need space, he needs to find a friend to take him through this hell but your not the one. he will feel bitter somewhere down the road and will refer to this episode forever. bottom line is that you should take his calls when you can, let him know its over and you gotta move on. if he insists on getting across to you forcibly again deny him access and seek an annulment of the procured marriage. dont blame yourself though as you did all for love. dont we all.
cheer up.

dont make the mistake of cutting back on work to make her happy. made that mistake a long time ago and ill tell you this she will be waving you goodbye by the time you aint got what it takes to pull the stubs. rather you should try and have quality time to gether. take time to plan them, a romantic get away with your phones switched off. she knowing that this is her 'me only me time', accomplish some tasks together like redecorating and not to forget :get the koko well done. with time she will adjust if she doesnt look else where.

dyt@ mhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im cool. anyway.

dyt@ simmonsgreg9@gmail.com

dyt@ addy all so right

nd a snuggle. mmmmmmmmmmhhhhhh ok o. simmonsgreg9@gmail.com

dyt@ life is beautiful indeed. ok im letting it all out. wanted to peep at the beautiful you on your profile but found you waiting for the man and the boy. wish i could be.

oniema@ you couldnt have said it all better.

like i used to say. i had a beauty once. she was a single parent. it didnt matter. i loved her daughter, rhoda, like hell. missed the little angel as much as i did my beauty when she mistakenly, i found out later, chose to move on.

the deal is single mother or not your that special person and that other special person will appreciate you for you. period.

checked out what the rush of blood was for and couldnt believe what i saw. really think it just managed to hang on to an average score. like you will say, it is in the eye of the beholder.

r231 you said ok, sent a mail and then thought you were the only one that saw it. indeed.

wow. love is really blind. cant believe that was what a guy was begging for.

whales dont get stranded ashore only cos they died. they can loose their way due to confusing tracking signals which they follow in their long journeys in the belly of the seas. they then wander to shallow waters which might, as in this case, be the lagos barbeach shores

skydeep@ i dont know what brought you to this conclusion. you maybe right but as they say, there is an exception to every rule. there are men, i dare say im not one of them, that can be committed to one woman 247, 365 and in a leap year more and will not stray. the longest i did was 4 and half years until she had other plans and i was left heart broken bitter with no intention to love again.

the truth remains that there are fantacies unspoken, deep and will seek expression. sometimes the woman stops being what he thought in the first place. some are just unpretencious about looking to get into any hole that makes itself availlable. if you choose the narrow path to find that man, the rare one i said i dont belong to his group there is no assuarance you will find him. he is out there but you may pass through some unpleasant ones. so we laugh cry dance and we learn. we really dont have any assuarances except God who remains the only one that will NEVER change. c'est la vie!

wow never knew so many people with a Phd in psychology with specialization in depression and schizophrenia

im a guy so i do understand his dynamics. he didnt fight to have you as hes got a substitute he knows is always there for him so he shrugs his shoulders and moves on. you made a mistake by believing from the word go that everything will work out fine. try as we may, they dont always do, we only get hurt.

i know your hurting and hope you can learn from this and move on too with this consolation that you did the right thing spot on.

mr cork@ wow that was as straight as, maybe your living up your alias. you could be nice about it though.

if you ask me who i fancy but not fantacise about today you will be shocked to know it is drew barrimore. that smile and dimple just makes me go like shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

so who were your fantasies. compare them with your present fantacy(s) like we were chatting.