clockwisereport:
Good morning @chiomamoses. I have been looking for your thread. How are you and your baby? Hope you did not give out your baby?

Good evening ma / sir we are doing well by God's grace , no i didn't give my baby away. thanks for your concern about us.

overdrive:


I remembered her this morning but couldn't find her moniker again thanks for bringing this upto date I really wish to know how everything went down.

Thanks for ur concern sir we are doing fine

PrincessEstates:
@ Chiomamoses, please I’m very interested in this your issue. What finally happened? Have you and your husband finally moved out from there? I hope you didn’t cave in to the pressure of giving them your baby.

Please update us. Nairaland(ers) can actually help your situation, if they’re still on your case.

Good evening dear , thanks for ur concern we have moved out and relocate to a new place far away from them. We are doing well my husband got a new job and I started my own business. I didn't give them any of my children all five children are with us. Thanks again and God bless you.

Perogbangba:
It is well with her. She is only consoling herself with your baby.

Amen

Mariangeles:


Do you have a business or a job? Apart from your husband...
How supportive are you financially?

I used to work for them but when I took in with my last baby , I stopped working till now am
Not doing anything

jbridges:


Madam, you are not wrong at all. Your baby is still very young to be taken away from you everyday. You and your baby still need all the bonding you can get. You can explain this to your husband, so he can see where you are coming from. Your other kids can go to her house often to keep her busy. Staying with in-laws comes with plenty wahala mbok

Thanks my dear see my husband has never listen to me because he want to do everything to pleased his brother , he want to be under him in everything even if the brother ask him to lick his feet he will do it. I have had enough of staying under the rule because they have accommodate us they want us to live under their rule thank God me I can’t obey stupid rule. I think moving out of here will help my husband to be shine his eyes and to be a man. so we will have our own house

Aleora:
Just imagine,some people said it here that it might come to this......I pray God helps you...she should go to the orphanage to adopt,don't give your baby out .......

Thanks I will not give her my baby there’s a lot of babies in the orphanage , streets who needs motherly love from people like her and she doesn’t want those ones but only want mine, like I said before,I will move out after lockdown probably by next week

Good morning everybody I haven’t been able to come online for a long time cos a lot it’s happening right now, my husband people are forcing me to give my baby to my co wife cos they have said we have many children and we should help and give them one , my husband agreed but I have refused to give my baby away to her I told them my sister in law also has 7 children and why can’t she give them one of her children and why just me , everybody in the family are against me and they are not talking to me. She is now treating me badly reminding me that it’s her house and I should leave . I keep calm and watching everything like a fool but I am not a fool , I decided After this quarantine I will pack my things and kids and leave for my sister place until I get my own place and hubby can join us if he likes

Thank you my dear God bless you

ImaIma1:
It's your baby and should be able to decide how long she spends with someone. And you are not supposed to feel bad about that because you are the mother and would feel the need to be around your baby.

Please ignore those saying you are proud, selfish or that you are giving birth when someone else is looking for a child. That's just funny. They need to direct all that to the One who gives children.

I don't like when people try to use culture, seniority, africanism, etc to cover up what should not be. She actually needs to get help to get over the loss. Using your child to do that might not be convenient or you.

she rarely comes in my house I just don’t know why ooo and me and my kids are the ones going to her house all the time and when my other kids are in school she want to stay alone with my baby inside her house which I just don’t understand and only God knows what she has been doing with my baby when they are left alone and thank God my eyes are now shine and I had to put a stop to it

crackkhaus:

Mehn hold on to your child jor.
If the woman needs to spend time, she should go to your apartment and do that, then go back to her house.

What kind of silly bonding requires her to spend extended hours or the night with a child that's not her own....to the extent she's now trying to be forceful about it.
That is just SICK.

Thank you my dear I don’t mind them because I know that I’m not evil I’m just doing what any mother can do in my shoes

crackkhaus:
@ chiomamoses, you did absolutely nothing wrong oo.. Na your pikin, na you born am.

It's not your responsibility to make another woman feel better for not having kids or losing a kid, that's the job of a therapist or psychologist.

Don't let anyone here blackmail you into thinking you're an evil person.
If you were living inside your own compound, will someone come from outside to start telling you to give her your child to spend the night with? Lmao

This stupidity is world-class, I never hear this kind thing before.

People are calling you selfish and insentive on top your own pikin again.. Haaa, nothing I will not read on NL.

Who raised all these broken people like this? Kai

Thank you my dear you are right if we were in our own house all this wouldn’t have happened and my husband just don’t understand we need our own space and privacy

yeyeosoronga:


The child is yours, OP. You have a responsibility towards that child, and you just have to do what is in the best interest of your child at all times. I feel sorry for your sister in law, but at all times, the best interest of a child (who has no say in any of this) should always be sought.
Dont let anyone on here try to emotionally blackmail you. Non of them will give their own children to anyone to keep or share.
What is the best thing for this child in all of this? Staying with it's mother or with it's aunt? Can the mother look after this child better than the aunt, or is the mother sick or facing some stress that will make her unable to look after her own child?
The answer is probably NO.
Let your sister in law play with the child, but when its time to feed, change her clothes, and other stuff needed to be done for the child etc you as a mother need to look out for your child.
Perhaps you could take time out of your schedule everyday (especially since you have other children to look after) to take your baby to spend time with her and you also help her around the house/keep her company before you guys go back to your own place. That's a possible option.
Show your support and be there for her in your own way
I know if you were living in another place, and not in the same compound, this whole matter will not even arise in the first place sef.
It's a bit if a sticky situation to be in.

Amen to your prayer

Ayofaks:
You're not a nice person madam OP. We know how these things are...no be Naija women again? You're only pretending to be nice, you can gloat in your mind all you want, God will definitely answer that woman's prayer.

Thank God I’m not your wife wait until you find yourself in the same situations as me then you will know if giving away your child can be that easy like u think , to me it is not something I can do and my prayers for her is to God to bless her with many children, it is not about being broke the fact is my husband don’t want to move out of his brother house cos me I’m ready but he is not

EricSmallz:
You are selfish sha. 5 kids? If you were my wife, I would instruct you to gift that child to that poor woman. 4 kids are more than enough. Do you want to eat some? And from the look of things, your husband is even broke o. He can't even afford to rent a house, but you are just giving birth like bird. What if God gets angry and withdraw the kids?

I had no problem for her to have my baby with her but I had to stop when she start getting too attached with my baby to the extend of her asking to spend the night with my baby a baby that she is knows is breastfeed at night and she wanted to spend the night with her is that normal? If I don’t go to her for my baby when is time for her to breastfeed she won’t bring her to me I always have to keep going there which I feel like I’m a surrogate mother to my own baby and I wasn’t comfortable and I had to stop everything. We have 5 children in the compound why she is just want to be so attached to my baby and not with my other children?

frozen70:


I have to be truthful with my words, you are really faulty for the action you displayed

You know very well that she lost her baby and need a child to comfort her and there you are depriving her of it

Too bad for what ever reason you have for doing so

You are supposed to bring her closer to you and make her feel loved

No matter how she wants to be with your child and children, she will never harm anyone of them

That you prayed and it works for you, is the same person she is praying to yet it hasn't worked for her

Pls get close to her and give her the freedom to be with your child

It's only God that can guarantee us our own safety not man

If she want to be with your child, allow her, in as much as your child doesn't come back with mark of violence on him or her

They are in distress and in need of a child

A woman without a child is not always happy

I’m not competing with anyone my children are my blessing from God if God bless me with them and who am I to say no? apart from that we are not struggling because their father work hard for them to be educated , fed and clothed. My husband elder sister has 7 children if their brother has none yet it is not our fault and our prayers is for God to bless them with many children too

Ogbunigwe2018:

What are you doing with five children in this modern-day Nigeria
Are you competing for a star price or what?

How is my post full of pride ? All I am doing is protecting my children and I have nothing against her

Sexyliciousbri:
Your speech are full of pride so be careful so that you don't destroy your future

Lol I can’t ooo my children mean a lot to me o
Pray that God will bless her with her own soon

Vyolet:
You could dash her one since you have five .
That's what she is expecting.

My dear if it was me I would have left this house long time ago but my husband don’t want to upgrade he want to live all of his life under his brother oo he want to be his slave staying in his house with rent free and working for him he don’t want to be a man and he doesn’t see anything wrong my family are in the village i can’t go back there

Lamanii22:
The best thing you can do is leave the house... If your husband refuses, you just leave with the children and go to your family house.. Or your mom's place...

Thank you I will

Bozzyironlady:
Your baby is 7months old, get your self a job or leave the house everyday so as to avoid all these extended family wahala.

Thank you my dear this is what I worried about incase she breastfeed or does something bad to her out of jealousy I’m not saying she is a bad person but sometimes when people are frustrated it can lead to another bad thing

yvelchstores:
For me personally I can never leave my child with someone else. What if she is breast feeding your baby? Sorry for what happened to her.. For me personally, let hell let loose, I can't leave my infant with anyone.

Thank you I was worried about it incase I’m wrong now I am feeling better knowing that am not doing anything wrong. Amen

Mariangeles:


You're brave for doing what is right.
You can't take one woman's child to console another.
God Almighty will bless her with a child of her own. She can also consider the option of adoption.

Thank you for being honest with me

Theyoungmatron:
What you did is not wrong.
The attachment she is forming with your baby is unhealthy especially for her own mental health.
She needs to seek for professional help ASAP, as it is obvious that she is still in the early stages of grieving after almost 3 months.

Yes the house belonged to his brother we are living in different houses him in the biggest house and us in the smallest house

Mindlog:


But you posted that the house belongs to your husband's brother.

We stay in the same compound but different house

Femsyn:
Why are you staying in your husband's brother's house with 5 children?

I have 5 children for my husband d last one is 7months my husband brother wife was pregnant wit her first child after waiting for almost 10 years we were all happy for them and couldn’t wait for him to be with us unfortunately on December 27 she delivered tru CS and lost d baby that same day is so painful for us as family we stay in the same compound the house belonged to my husband brother , I take care of her she start getting too attached to my baby she want to be with her all the time she will take her away from me and stay with in her house all day until I go for her for breastfeeding then last time she ask me if she can spend the night with my baby but I refuse making excuses for her not to be offended. For the past 1 week I have been avoiding her and keeping my baby inside d house making excuses she is sleeping or she is not feeling well and she ask my elder daughter to come take the baby and I refuse and she came asking me if she offended me I said no and lied my baby was not feeling well but she was offended and told her husband cos she has no child and I have stopped my children coming to her house my brother in law got angry and told my husband to warn me my husband cautioned me which I went to her and apologise even taught what she said is not true cos I do let my other 4 children to go to her house and I only stopped my baby going there because she is getting too attached to her and I know she is feeling so much pain for d loss of her baby but me too I need my baby I don’t like sharing her with anyone. For 3 days now she ceased talking to me and stop responding my greeting. Please am I wrong ?