Invading your spouses privacy is a HUGE deal. If you need to do that, where's the trust? You're violating trust in the relationship. Just like cheating. Can't have a relationship without trust, so what's the point? May as well just end it before you stoop to snooping. My advice would be not to tell the wife that he went through her phone and just end it. There's no respect or trust there and you gotta have both for a healthy marriage.