As for the statement made about this in another thread, actually I have been married for a little more than 30 years but with this same man for over 40 years. I told my husband 5 months ago, I had ended all contact with the guy in Nigeria after my husband's best friend died in a car accident. However I still talk to him on a weekly basis. I know this sounds stupid of me for continuing my contact with him. I am afraid he will contact my family or worse start posting on Facebook again showing picture of the 2 of us when I was there. or worse start sending messages to my kids about me saying that I am married to him and that sort of stuff. Since my return from Nigeria he has managed to stir up trouble with my entire family every time there is a significant event in our lives, my wedding anniversary and birthdays for all family members. I am not sure if I should contact the police in Nigeria to see if they can get him to leave me and my family alone.

My husband of 40 years tells me I'm gullible and naïve to the world around us. About 5 years ago I received friend notification on facebook from a guy saying he was white, in the navy and feeling down and out. We chatted for weeks and we told each other many personal details about ourselves. At some point he sent me pictures of himself, I did the same and then he started asking for money, small amounts at first $50-$100 US) which I sent him without my husband suspecting anything via Western Union. I sent them to Lagos Nigeria and started questioning a little more and he then confided that he wasn't white and he actually lived in Nigeria which was where I sent the money. At some point we started talking over the phone and due to cost we used an app on the internet as well to chat live like a phone call. He then said he had initially contacted me so con me or scam money from me but could no longer tell a lie or scam me any longer begging for forgiveness because he had fallen in love with me and wanted to come clean so we could further a relationship. I had told him early in the conversations that I was a married person with 4 kids and even given many details about them and shared pictures with him. He even said he wanted to marry me but couldn't come to the US to do so, he didn't have any money. By this time I had sent him over $5000. I told him that I was unhappy in my current marriage and was contemplating divorce but hadn't done anything about it. At some point my kids started to notice I was speaking with a Nigerian man and started telling him to leave me along (kids want to protect their family and keep it together). He was very harsh with them and threatened to hurt them, and even told them that he and I would be married and they would have to call him there father. I smoothed things over with my kids by telling them he was a con man and I was playing him, never told them about the money I had sent. This Nigerian man and I kept our relationship going for 4 years and then he asked/invited me to come over their, get married and then I could bring him to the US so he could start a business and become a US citizen. I was really curious about this guy and he was telling me all the things my husband wasn't and I became curious and agreed eventually to come over to Nigeria. I bought a round trip plane ticket, for 15 days, went over their without telling my family what or where I really was. He and his brother met me at the airport in Abuja, took me to a hotel where we stayed the entire 15 days I was there. He told me when he met me for the first time that we were getting married in a week (7 days from my arrival day) and wanted me to meet his entire family before we tied the knot. I did and became friends with all of them, they were wonderful people. I never told them I was or had been married, but he knew the entire time I was married to an American (I am also American). On the 7th day we went to some place to get married, I was given a wedding rob by his mother, we were taken into separate rooms, I was told this was part of the process to marry a non-Nigerian in Nigeria. I was asked a number of questions about how long I had known him among them and if I had ever been married to someone else. I told them I was divorced but unable to produce court papers stating this. They told me I would have to send the documents to them within 21 days, then the marriage would be legal. I signed the marriage book as did he, the ceremony happened, they took pictures and everything. I left Nigeria 7 days later going back to my husband of 40 years. We have had many hard times since I left, because I left and I told him everything that happened both before and after returned from Nigeria. I even asked for a divorce so I could bring this man from Nigeria to the US. He said NO, we are married for life. I am still married to my husband, but still talking with this man over in Nigeria. Since I have been back, my husband is attempting to forgive me, however I keep doing stupid things. I have sent this Nigerian man, more than $4000 to stop bothering my children because that was causing many issues with them he was also harassing all of them. I'm now concerned that I might be married to this guy in Nigeria and my husband here in the US. He keeps contacting me, calling me the love of his life. I try not to talk with him, he keeps calling and messaging me via facebook stating he will start harassing my family if I don't send him money. Then when I do, I hear nothing for a couple of weeks then it starts all over again. How can I get this guy to leave me and my real family alone. Is there anyway he can get in trouble for knowingly marring a non-Nigerian who is still married?

I am also not sure if I am married to a Nigerian man. Last year I went over to Abuja to meet and marry a guy I met and had been speaking with over the internet for about 4 years. I arrived and we stayed in a hotel in Abuja, after about 7 days he and I along with his family went to a place, where we went through a marriage ceremony. Before the ceremony we were both taken into separate rooms, not sure what he was asked but I was asked if I was married or divorced because I was a US citizen and many years older than he is. I told them I was divorced, they asked me to produce divorce papers which was unable to because I am still legally married in the US to a US man for over 30 years. The plan for this marriage was to bring him to the US. When I was unable to produce the divorce papers, they said I had 21 days to produce them but still allowed me and him to sign the marriage book (or whatever its called) and go through with the ceremony. Since my return to the US 7 days after the "wedding" I have continued to talk with him via the phone and internet. I am still married to my US husband, I did have to tell him what I had done, and even asked him for a divorce, which he refused to give me. I am confused on whether or not the marriage I went through in Abuja is legal or not. The man in I thought I married is from Lagos but came to Abuja to get married because it was safer for me being a white female than in Lagos. After many months of talking with my husband in the US, I guess you could say I came to my senses and want to truly stay with my husband of 30+ years, he is a very understanding man (has to be after what I have done to him). Back in October of 2015 I sent this Nigerian $3000 so he would stop contacting me, he hasn't and has continued to ask for money and threaten to harass my family (children and husband) if I don't continue to send him money. I sent him another $1000 in February 2016 but now I don't have any more money to send and he keeps threatening to start harassing my family. What can I do to get him to stop, also can I talk to someone in Abuja to get him in trouble for going through with a marriage to a none Nigerian knowing they were still married, I really think his original intentions were to have me bring him over to the US and then either leave me or drain my bank account dry. When he first started harassing my family he told one of my adult children that they had to call him their father and that if I ever came back to Nigeria none of my kids or family would ever see me again. I'm scared and confused on what I can and should do.