EternalBeing:
Is she this same girl that you said on your other thread that cheated on you and you are about to marry her now? You have no reason not to marry that girl, she is a good girl. Most girls of this Generation would call her Mumu for confessing the truth the truth to you.

Now, back to you. Demons have taken many Giants of Faith down by ever wispering to them that they are missing something sweet when that are not having sex, it's a big lie programmed by evil-controlled media since our birth. Also, the dependency on sense of feeling made us not to realize how powerful being Holy makes us become. If you know these Truths, you shall avoid lust(at thought level, long before it could manifest into reality) as you would never stand in front of a high speed Trailer. Read this:
https://www.nairaland.com/5508005/erroneous-expectation-caused-many-lose

And many have thanked God for this eye-opening thread: https://www.nairaland.com/5234204/why-most-christians-dont-capacity#79155152:

Yes she is the same girl. It will not be easy for me to forgive her. The painful part of the whole thing is she left me, I never wanted the relationship to end because I believed the issues we had then could be resolved.

Now she is back, not the same way she left but with baggage.

HARDDON:


Do you know what the term "Manipulative confession" is?

Ofcos, you don't. I invented it.


...and no one has thought about the health consiquencies of that abortion....

I would ensure she does fertility tests and she is certified medically okay before anything else.

makydebbie:


How old are you? You can't make certain decisions for yourself?

You've brought strangers from nowhere and little children to come decide your life for you over here.
When you make a decision based on what they say here and it comes back to haunt you, I hope these same people will be here to console you.

You want sincerity and you got it now you're complaining.

The reason why I brought it to a Faceless forum like nairaland is because I can't share this delicate issue with my close friends and family because I don't want them to judge her.

From the multitude of comments here, I surely can pick one or two things from the sensible comments which would help me in my decision.

rosalieene:
haven't you lied to her before

I haven't

ednut1:
u are a mumu man.

It's entirely my decision to remain chaste until marriage and God has been helping me thus far.

pocohantas:
You sure say she wan marry you?

Na November be this. Men go land next month.Ugo China and co...

Abi she just wan discharge you. She kuku know say you love am. Na to slam you one heavy confession.

Be like I will go tell my guy this kind thing. Make e use im hand breakup.

No even mind me. My head dey jam.

She loves and trust me, that was why she was comfortable enough to open up to me.

My stand on relationship is sincerity and openness, and I have continually demonstrated this myself in the relationship.

She opened up to me, after our joint Bible study on Sunday. Apparently,she was touched by the teaching.

seyigiggle:
the question here should be who she aborted for?
if the answer is you, what is the point of this thread?

Learn to take responsibility for your actions or did she got herself pregnant?

Read the story again before you spew rubbish

Headlesschicken:
So u mean to tell me that u never did any sort of sh!t while u guys were not together? So u r d saint between u two...?

I'm not a saint....but I wasn't sexually involved with anyone while we were apart.

Omar09:


Bro you can't say for sure if she's promiscuous or not. The fact remains, she initiated that break up for that sex spree that got her pregnant. Take it or leave it.

She is not promiscuous, though one can only speak for one's self. I don't think that was the case at bolded. We were having recurrent arguments at the time, I myself needed a break then too, I just couldn't let go because I still loved her and wanted us to work.

Sirvingeo:
For her to disclose she had an abortion is a signal she loves you and want the marriage to work . Personally, I hate ladies that lacks sexual purity .

Yeah she loves me and she wants our marriage to be built on truth. I think I have already forgiven her, but the issue I have is forgetting what she has done and be able to trust her completely again.

OladimejiRufai:
She lied to you before and she did it again despite that you asked her to come out clean.

Now this is what I observe.

Your fiancee may not be a bad girl or a "liar" in total sense. The fact that she even told you before marriage somehow proves that because she could have kept it from you forever.

But she is the type that will LIE to cover up mistakes from you or anyone and save herself from shame. This is the kind of person she is perceived to be.

So the question is are you ready to live with such a person?

It could happen that one of your uncles or brothers will visit your home, temptations will set in and they will have sex, she's the type that will hide it from you.

As she goes about her daily activities, she might meet a guy and have a fling with her, get pregnant and even give birth and present it as your own to save herself from shame.

It could happen that she hooks up with her ex especially after there's an unsettled misunderstanding with you, something plays after another and they have sex and may even be continually doing that but hide it from you.

I only gave those as examples based on possibility. Your fiancee might not be the prosmicuous type. But it still cannot be ruled out totally.

So you are the one who should ask yourself if you want to live with such a person as couples.

Good luck

Thank you for your advice. But she is not promiscuous, I'm almost certain of that.

And the first instance she lied, did not involve sex.

donbachi:
As if u no fvck anoda wen una break up...confess ur own make we see if d relationship no go borrow legs.

I did not sleep with another girl whilst we were apart, in fact since we got back, I have not slept with her. It's a no-sex relationship.

My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

niceprof:
We walk by faith and not by feelings,if you have genuinely repented,don't mind how you feel,but make sure you dont fall into such foolishness again.

First put that girl away from you and for conscience sake,confess to your Pastor or someone you respect,it will help take the guilt away.

Thank you sir for your wise words.

But I would like to ask is it compulsory I must break up with this girl? I truly love her and I have plans to marry her. The mistake I made is allowing her to sleep over in my house, I intend to set boundaries that will prevent future occurrence. Besides leaving her will leave her heartbroken and she will feel used.

I fell and committed this sin with my girlfriend on Tuesday 17/10/2017. Since then I feel so empty, like God is so far from me. To think I kept myself for 27 years but I allowed the Devil to control my thoughts, suddenly I started fantasizing about having sex. First it was lust, later it progressed to kissing and eventually I slept with her.

I'm 27 and this is the first girl I'm being with. I did not see the need to go into a relationship all this years because I have always believed as Christians, the sole purpose of being in a relationship should be marriage and since I did not consider myself ready then, I stayed away from girls.
I am actually looking at getting married next year which was the reason I decided to go into this relationship in the first place but I never expected it to lead me to sin.

I have asked God for forgiveness but I still feel guilty. I desire that close fellowship I used to have with God before I fell. Pastors in the house please help a brother get out of this.