As defined by the English dictionary, “Anger” is a strong feeling of displeasure, hostility or antagonism towards someone or something, usually combined with an urge to harm. When angry, you can do unimaginable things without you knowing. As part of this, anger can destroy our daily affairs, jobs, well-being and our relationships.

Anger comes in a combination of your thoughts, feelings and behaviours when you’re severely frustrated by unfortunate conditions and maybe by people’s unfair behaviour. When you get angry, you say/do things out of control, not knowing that you’re negatively harming the next person.

WHAT ANGER DOES AND HOW IT AFFECTS YOU

If you ask yourself what anger has cost you, I believe two or three sentences will be made. Has there ever been a time in your life when you got angry and ended up hurting someone you care about? In the aftermath of feeling mad, i.e when you’ve calmed down, it’s often easy to know the damages you’ve done or the ‘unfriendly outspoken words’ you’ve uttered uncontrollably.

In a relationship, there are visible, tangible signs: tears on the face of your partner (mostly with the ladies), a heavy silence hanging in the air after a loud shouting time and also bringing quarrels or so. Anger can also cause problems in your life that perhaps aren’t so easy to spot right away. This inspired me to do this research about how anger negatively affect your life and the lives of those around you.

If you can’t control anger, that means there are chances that you’re might be hurting someone’s feelings or other people’s life around you. If you ever feel really angry and unable to let something go, if you feel like you’re continually on the edge, when your anger lasts for extended periods of time, it becomes more difficult to cope with little aggravations in your life and it becomes harder to de-stress.

As it might interest you, uncontrolled anger can adversely affect your health life, thereby causing headaches, migraines, chest pains, some body aches and more. Over the long term, anger issues can further complicate pre-existing health conditions. It can also put you at risk for hypertension, high blood pressure and depression for stressed thoughts.

In other words, your anger can affect not only you, but the people in your life as well. It casts a negative feeling on those around you. Your anger can cause people to feel upset, intimidated, afraid, or a handful of other unpleasant emotions. You’re also running the risk of pushing loved ones out of your life for good.

When you yell at your partner when you’re angry, whether it is emotional or physical, it can have an extremely negative effect on your partner’s well-being. Solving conflict with anger, yelling and violence also sets an unhealthy precedent in a relationship, by doing what your emotions tells you to do under the influence of anger.
These are some of the ways anger affects you.

WAYS IT CAN BE CONTROLLED
This is something that has been a problem to me before, not until I worked out plans to get rid of it.
Now, let’s take a look at the step-by-step ways I think anger can be controlled below;

STEP 1: Try Calm Yourself a little 
First of all, when you’re angry, stumbling upon some things that didn’t come out as planned for you and maybe a friend/partner or neighbour tries to talk to you, either in a good or bad manner, don’t over-react, try calm yourself down and simply say thank you and leave, even though you must have said something ‘huge’ as part of the shouts, it doesn’t really mean though as it can be solved in the other steps below.

STEP 2: Go to a Lonely Environment and rest
After calming yourself a little, change environment by taking a walk to a lonely place set aside for just you, and maybe the birds and nature. Try rest there for some time. Don’t go to a neighbour/friend’s house because they might advice you wrongly thereby causing more negative behaviour and attitude. This is true because I’ve learnt that some people can easily be negatively advised to pick a step that they will later regret without them knowing and re-thinking. These set of people are gullible and easily persuaded to do something. Even in this my article, they won’t bother doing a re-think of some other possible ways, rather, they’ll just stick to it. Always have a re-think!

STEP 3: Think of the Situation on Ground
When alone, think of the situation and how it happened, think of what you might have done or said rudely to people around you and realise your mistakes that “even in bad times we should still be responsible and mature enough to handle issues that annoys us and not by getting angry for no reason at people for their opinion whether good or bad”

STEP 4: Make amend and live a more meaningful life
After stumbling on it, go back home/office and make amend. Maybe you said things out of control or did something unlawful, go make apologies to those parties. Life wouldn’t have been better should we have not had a merciful God who always forgives. Apology is one thing that is cherished so much by people because it tells your ingenuity, maturity, honesty and straightforwardness. Knowing and admitting you’ve made a mistake somewhere and it needs to be corrected is really a good thing and makes you a mature person.

STEP 5: Practice a New life without Anger
As you’ve set the pace, let it begin. Start living a new life of controllable anger even when it might come some times. Also, try keeping yourself out of things that will make you angry, especially in a relationship, family or work place, by disregarding any attempt of temptations that you might have out of spoken words or behaviour/reactions.

I’ll leave you today with an inspiring line that; “It takes only a mature and responsible mind to fight against anger”, so if you’re the type that do get angry at every little thing that comes your way, dearest, it’s either you’re a kid that can’t handle issues or you’re learning to grow up. Always live without bearing grudges because grudges because grudge is a key to anger, it makes you not to forget what has happened.


written By crystalstaff

A man/woman who fails to make quick and accurate decisions will find himself/herself tossed about by any wind of life. Indecision (which is synonymous to procrastination) is a thorn in the flesh of many people and many do not know about this vice because it is so hidden in the subconscious of such persons. Indecision will always ruin a person without the person knowing so. So many people who go through life without making any impact fail to achieve all those beautiful ideas they conceive in their deepest thoughts because they are indecisive. So it is obvious that we look into this and find ways to help everyone who is going through life with this hidden ‘Goliath’ roaring at them. We shall be looking for the proverbial stone by which we shall slay this giant.

Decision-making is the stone we are talking about here. So how do we become decisive?

1. HAVE A DEFINITE GOAL: You cannot be decisive when you have no goal in life. You should therefore set a goal that you would like to accomplish in life. You shouldn’t say you want to be rich, for instance. Everyone wants to be rich and do good things with money but not everyone is rich. Rather you should state what you actually want. For instance, ‘I want to be a rich medical pharmacist’.

2. BE POSITIVE: You can only reach the coveted definite goal if you are positive. A negative mind-set will never get you to the desired goal. A positive mind-set according to a philosopher “is a favorable abound for the state of mind known as Faith”.

3. HAVE FAITH: Faith is the grease that you would need to make the journey from the here to there smooth. And to have Faith is one of the simplest things to do. Many lack Faith because they have programmed their minds to envision failure by speaking of failure. So to have Faith involves speaking of success every day of our waking lives. Speak what you want instead of speaking what you don’t want.

4. FORM AN ALLIANCE: Nobody climbs up the ladder of success without the aid of others. Every turning point of an individual is usually at the point where he/she meets someone who can be of immense aid to his/her rise. It could be ones spouse or ones associates or even a one-time acquaintance. Form an alliance with some group of persons who would be in complete sympathy and harmony with your definite goal. It is a well known fact that an individual that is decisive will have the cooperation of those around him in the rise from obscurity to prominence.

5. LEARN TO BE QUIET: It is a fact that those who talk too much do little else but talk. Doing is an important part of making decisions. You should, therefore, learn to keep quiet and learn to open your eyes and ears. By so doing you will quickly discover opportunities.

6. START FROM WHERE YOU ARE: Some people think that it is at a certain point in time in their lives that they would begin doing what they out to do. That is but a way to say “the time is not yet ripe”. Don’t wait for the right time. There is never a right time. START NOW.

Decision-making is a vital tool for every business owner, family maker and student to rise up the ladder of any callings. It can save you from a lot of unwanted stress. Do your best to prove to the world that you were made for and of greatness.


source:http://www.naijaval.com/2017/07/19/decision-making/

yes I promise to do so...

As a Nigerian, I understand some laughable things we’re good at doing, things such as the“Well done” English greeting format that is widely used these days in the country. The fact is that Nigerian English has an entire form of what I call formulaic expressions of greetings that would strike most local English speakers as inquisitive and incomprehensive at the very least.

While some of these expressions are imaginative coinages or semantic expansions in light of the social uniqueness of Nigerian cultural articulations which the English language hasn’t lexicalized, others are the results of an inadequate nature with the traditions and phrases of the English dialect.

Over time, the expression “Well done” has turned into an official greeting format in Nigeria. Whereas, it’s supposed to be used as a form of congratulation. Greeting in Nigeria nowadays is ending up plainly somehow ill bred. Normally,“Well done!” is saved particularly for a man who is working or accomplishing something advantageous. It is a case of apportionment (or phonetic “seizing”) of current English lexies to offer articulation to an unconventional Nigerian socio-etymological propensity.

The way “well done” is used as a part of Nigerian English approximates such expressions as “sannu da aiki“ in Hausa, “eku ise“ in Yoruba,“daalu olu“ in Igbo, “Diwo” in Isoko (my local dialect), and so on., which have no parallels in local assortments of the English dialect. That is the reason there is typically a correspondence breakdown when Nigerians use the expression “well done” in local spoken English situations. The typical counter among local speakers is, “Well done for what?” Or “what have I done well?”

As I’ve read many times, in local assortments of English, “well done” either works as an adjective to portray thoroughly cooked food or meat (Example: That bit of meat is intense because it is not well done) or as an exclamation of adulation—synonymous with “bravo.” It is additionally used as an adjective to depict something that has been done well (e.g. “Thank you for a job well done”). It is never used as an extraordinary type of welcome for individuals.

People in the US and UK who are faintly acquainted with Nigerian English do inquire as to why Nigerians have an exceptional type of greeting to recognise individuals who are accomplishing something. The truth of the matter is that people feel it is practically equivalent to the welcome held for unique circumstances of the day in the English dialect.

We say “good morning” when we meet people in the early hours of the day and say “good evening” when we meet them amid the midpoint of the day, and so forth. There may truly be nothing “good” about the time we greet them. Hell, we even say “good morning” or “good evening” or “good day,” and so on to people on their debilitated beds! Nigerians use and see “well done” in the same socio-etymological setting. The people we say “well done” to in Nigerian English don’t need to be doing anything well; they just need to be there.

This expression has truly turned into a piece of most Nigerians since you’ll hardly observe individuals greet nowadays without using the“Well done” format. In any case, some educated people do take this type of greeting as disrespect because it sounds as if the person you’re greeting is too small to get a “Good day” greeting. That’s how most people take it

Every year, Nigeria’s tertiary institutions churn out graduates with ease. After graduation, it is expected of every graduate to serve his or her fatherland on a mandatory one year service. In lieu of seeking and securing employment for themselves, graduates embark on National Youth Service Corps (NYSC). According to the NYSC official site, it was stated in clear and unequivocal terms that “the NYSC scheme was created in a bid to reconstruct, reconcile and rebuild the country after the Nigerian Civil war.…” Decree No. 24 of 22nd May 1973 states that the NYSC was established “with a view to the proper encouragement and development of common ties among the youths of Nigeria and the promotion of national unity.” Hitherto, the NYSC has been a fulfilling and resourceful innovation for graduates who were able to utilize their service year to maximum effect.

During the service year, there are four cardinal programmes, namely: Orientation Course which ushers graduates into the service year, progressing to primary assignment and Community Development Service (CDS), also known as secondary assignment. The last of the programmes is “Winding-up/Passing-out.” Every corps member must successfully pass through the listed segments in order to qualify for passing-out at the end of the service year.
However, the service year for graduates in Nigeria has been a recurring decimal. Many youths now see the service to their fatherland as a “waste of time and resources,” claiming that a year in service is akin to being “unproductive.” On 7th March, 2017, Batch A corp members were given their certificates for serving their fatherland for one good year. Their passing out is a thing to rejoice on and a step towards the right direction in their various callings. For serving Nigeria in various Places of Primary Assignment (PPA) shows a great sense of responsibility and that means they are ready for the task ahead- even in this economic austerity we are facing. Truth be told, there are no many jobs out there that graduates will cherish to opt for so as to make a good and desirous living. We are faced with a hydra-headed monster of unemployment rate in the country- the scourge of mass unemployment is a Pandora’s box as the nation tries to solve it.

Essentially, the primary purpose of the scheme is “to inculcate in Nigerian youths the spirit of selfless service to the community, and to emphasize the spirit of oneness and brotherhood of all Nigerians, irrespective of cultural or social background.” The nation’s graduates are countless; therefore,they join the existing “bandwagon of unproductive labour.” Albeit during service year, few graduates are fortunate to be retained after the one year programme. Apart from the PPA, there can also be other job openings in the community or state you serve. But, the menace of unemployment still remains a conundrum to be solved.
Continue Reading http://www.naijaval.com/2017/07/04/thinking-beyond-nysc-nigerian-youths/

StOla:
But a woman has the right to beat up a man ?

Some feminists argue like imbeciles.

If the Ghana police had arrested you and prosecuted you for the vandal that you are and for the assault on your mother-in-law, you won't have the time to be saying all this rubbish.

She who does not want to be assaulted, should not be assaulting either.

By the way, Tonto, it is obvious that you and most women are the ones that actually need therapy from the way you assault your husbands and mutilate your house maids.

[quote author=StOla post=58089729]But a woman has the right to beat up a man ?

Some feminists argue like imbeciles.

If the Ghana police had arrested you and prosecuted you for the vandal that you are and for the assault on your mother-in-law, you won't have the time to be saying all this rubbish.

She who does not want to be assaulted, should not be assaulting either.

By the way, Tonto, it is obvious that you and most women are the ones that actually need therapy from the way you assault your hu