Hi

Can you recommend any private investigators in Port Harcourt?

QueenIamLove:
Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe, dear. Stay positive and look with your heart not your eyes. You have a small child who needs you sending love not doubt and suspicion. You can win in this situation if you stay calm, peaceful and positive. Jealousy and negativity with no proof will cause stress. In time, you will all be a family. Nothing can stay hidden forever so don't worry about it. Even if he is married, you can have his heart and the man of your dreams in time, if you play your role and stay patient. It is not about his (phantom or real) marriage, it is about his heart and his intentions. To have a child, he is trying to build something real with you. Keep building unless he destroys those plans. Don't let your mind destroy it alone. Become irreplaceable and irresistible. Some people may not want to see a successful marriage between us Americans and our African Brothers and Sisters. Ignore them, as they ignore the fact that We are one. Our DNA speaks for itself. Dont let people or your own mind kill your joy. Focus on the positives and all the good that has come your way. Love with your heart, not your eyes or even your mind, if your mind is in a doubtful space. Your baby has a father so let's not mess up a good thing, if the father is good to the baby and you. Who cares about what happens back home. These people dont know your man's heart. We dont even know our own heart let alone another person's heart. The well being of the child is the main focus now. That child needs both parents. If he treats you like a queen (which kills some people to see because they can't see their own blessings) then let him treat you like a queen. If you love him, bring peace and respect him as a king. If you want to end it, bring doubt, suspicion, spying or detectives. Don't worry, sis. All will be revealed in time and regardless, it will all be for your benefit because you are pure in heart and have the best intentions. You will WIN in either situation if he get working papers and a good job. That good job will take the stress off and give you some green currency to work with for child support - if the marriage fails for any reason. Forget who is using who. You will be taken care of and your King will be revealed whether it is him or another African. You are in need of each other right now. Keep your sanity and keep your man. Your faith in God alone should suffice. Know that what we put out is what we get back. Nothing anyone does to you will go unpunished or unrewarded. If your faith in God alone doe not suffice, in the end, the law is on your side...but that is in the end....don't rush to the end, dear. I pray you enjoy building with your man and his family; avoid suspicion as it weakens your faith; nothing done against you can prevail for long so don't worry. I pray and advise you to keep praying for your marriage and that you both are in it forever and that you both have joy, peace and love and that your children excel and benefit the most. Ameen.

You have me in tears. I appreciate every word you have written. I will save your response and refer back to it.

thebosstrevor:


you are 100% correct. 99% of those without education are hustlers, once they come on strange categories of visas and then want to make their stay permanent just know they are looking for a nice female target to make their plan work. maybe along the line they might fall in love with their victims but those that have wives back home, allow come back to their wives during holidays

He has his masters in Electrical Engineering. Since our marriage he has obtained a work permit and has a nice job.

SilentListener:
hmm You are older than him

Yes we have a 4 month old son together

thebosstrevor:


This is straight from "Nollywood" this guy just played on your intelligence.

He is the first born and he is entitled to the so-called imaginary land, since he was 6 months old when his father died, if the land was real, his uncles must have taken the land for themselves, this thing happens a lot, when a man died, the father's family can claim any property and give the woman problems, i know people that passed through this ordeal

but when the uncle tell a 6-month baby that when he grows up he has to born a boy to claim the land, that is the most ridiculous lie ever, don't forget he has 2 kids, what is the gender of the first kid?

His daughter is 6 and his son is 4. He claims he isn't communicating with the ex wife at all. I haven't found any Facebook or what's app communication between them. He post lots of pics of our son and I on his Facebook page. He just bought me a new 2018 truck as a Christmas gift. He doesn't hide me or my son from his family. I'm just concerned if the ex wife story is real. I will be careful like you told me

bigpicture001:
...

Have you returned to Nigeria with him.b4...?

No we are planning a visit once his status is adjusted. He has not returned to Nigeria alone. He has been in the states for 2 years.

thebosstrevor:


B1 visa is a temporary/non-immigrant US visa that permits visitors to enter the U.S. for business purposes.

let you know, I showed what you wrote to three women, they said, it is a scam. they were, in fact, surprised that, you could talk to his mother on phone weekly and not his kids. ( a truthful person will be open)

once he gets his permanent residency, he is gonna divorce you. you see the contradictory statement clearly, the excuses, ex-wife and sister are friends but you can't speak to the kids. does he call his ex-wife or chat with his ex-wife on FB.

you are in fact trying to bring the mother and kids to the states, soon it will be the sister and his suppose ex-wife. delay the process and see his reaction.

(if she blocks you on facebook, know they have been caught on their scam but they will try as much as possible to use another scam on you)

act smart and with caution. from everything you wrote down, This is a pure scam.

His mother stays in the country side not near his kids. His kids are in Lagos with his sister. For Christmas he bought his mom a plane ticket to visit them in Lagos.

bigpicture001:
....if ur white,den he is scamming you

Hi no I'm black American. I'm 33 he is 31

thebosstrevor:
"He said he paid the bride price for her to born a son so he can gain his deceased father's land as though it was a business deal."

culturally, as the first born he is entitled to his father land

"you talk to the mom weekly but cant talk to the kids weekly too"

"He claims his uncle sends money to his mom for him because he doesnt have a bank in Nigeria and would lose money when converting from US dollars"

he doesnt have a bank account in nigeria, that means he sends money through western union, but i don't understand how he is gonna lose money except his uncle receives the money in dollars and exchange it in the black market

but Nigeria banking law for western union is that once money is sent to you in dollars, you will receive it in the naira equivalent. it is logical because we do not use dollars here and we are trying to protect our economy against inflation.

everything just look scary, there is also a prepared answer for you.

Yes he mentioned black market. As far as the land, his dad died when he was 6 months old. He said his uncles took the properties and he wasn't able to inherit the land until he born a son. I ask these questions because although it's not the American norm it could be for Nigerians. Thanks for explaining

thebosstrevor:


in all cases of divorce, i have seen culturally, the wife ends up with the kids, this is natural, the man goes his own way and if he likes contact the kids,

red flags

-divorced and kids still with him- in Nigeria, most men when divorced will give the kids to the mother so that he can hustle, if he is responsible, he will come and see his kids, sometimes when he remarries, he can bring the kids to leave with him, it is not a must. but from experience, mothers always want their kids except she is dead or a deadbeat mum

- reluctance and excuses, they have been caught and trying hard to change the narrative, if it was true, she would have allowed you to speak with the kids. a truthful person will be open and all the excuses he is giving, in my opinion, when excuses starts something is fishy going on.

the divorce paper must be fake, nowadays, people fake anything, if i am right everybody in the family is in with the scam

my question for you

what is his immigration status in the US?
do you guys plan to marry? do you plan to file papers for him


my problem is i have seen cases like this, the man has a wife in Nigeria travels abroad and marry another person abroad for papers without telling you but still legally married in Nigeria.

the real stuff here is that he was open to you about the divorce, has a kid with you, the problem is the pictures you saw online. has the picture been deleted online?

only the divorce paper is the clue, verify privately about the divorce paper, go to the Nigeria embassy, they will help you verify and see where it leads you, after that take your decision.

dont forget original divorce paper can also be gotten by bribe here in Nigeria)

He came here on a B1 Visa. We have been married a year. We have interview to adjust his status coming soon. Yes my issue is the pictures. If he knew that his mom had mentioned the ex wife was coming for the holidays why not just tell me. I wouldn't be upset about her visiting the kids. Also he told me the ex wife stays hours away. When I talked with his sister she said her and the ex wife are best friends and the ex wife visits regularly to help her with errands etc. The sister had no idea that my husband told me the ex wife lived far away. The pictures are still online. I feel the sister will just block me from Facebook so I can't see her profile anymore.

Joromi12:
Lol mumu. Used for papers lol

Glad that my life is funny to you. Would you be laughing if I was your sister being mistreated

nkirueze:
hello dear i am an igbo lady i reside in the eastern part of Nigeria if you can send your husbands home address i can check for you if he is really divorce or not here is my email address nkirucynthia@gmail.com.

Hi I just emailed you

ghettochild4u:

Sister.... The fact is even if u see a divorce decree.. She is still his wife n will keep being his wife...
Just know where u stand..
Him having kids with u don't guarantee u anything....
Just make sure he don't use u..
But if he loves u... Then know he loves u..
I will tell u this.. The woman back home wil always be d mother of his child..
And I see no reason why u cant speak with the kids whenever u want..
They hiding things if not why should u call on weekends or public holiday.
Now do this..
Sit ur husband down... And ask him why he's hiding d fact that he's still married to his babymama n lied bout been divorced n that a fake divorce decree...
Just tell him u know why his hiding his kids..
And u wanna know where u stand

I've tried so many times asking for him to be honest. He told me he will not tell me a lie. I've told him I don't want to waste my years building a marriage with him and he has another wife. Apart from this we have no issues. He treats me great. We both are hard workers. He wants his kids to come over to stay and I agree because they need their father.. I'm just afraid if he has plans for the "ex wife" to come then I'm being made a fool of.

JjBankys:
Ok white or black

I'm black

JjBankys:
I'm sorry where are you from?I mean your Nationality.

I'm from america

Ok thanks for your honest answers I will confirm

We dated for one year and married for one year

Also how do I find out if the divorce decree is real? What apps would he use to communicate with her?

Sorry everyone I meant no harm by saying Igbo. I assumed that's how you all relate by tribes. My husband always speaks about Nigerians according to their tribe. Also I dont have an issue with the mother being in the kids life. My issue is for 2 years he has been telling me she isn't in the picture and that his sister raises the kids. In America that isn't the norm for a woman to leave her kids. He said he paid the bride price for her to born a son so he can gain his deceased father's land as though it was a business deal. Also we recently applied for passports for his mom and 2 kids to come visit. I'm just concerned that the ex wife may still be with him and he is lying. He told me it's not possible because he has been in America 2 years n she wouldn't wait on him.

Headless chicken , I talk to his mom weekly so does that mean she is in on the scam too? She was in the pictures with the ex wife. When I ask him to show me proof that he is sending the money to his mom.He claims his uncle sends money to his mom for him because he doesnt have a bank in Nigeria and would lose money when converting from US dollars. We do have American men but they can be immature at times.

My husband and I have a 4 month old baby. He has 2 kids back home in Nigeria ages 6 and 4. From the start of our courtship he told me his ex wife remarried and moved away and his sister is raising his kids. For Christmas, his sister posted pictures on Facebook and the ex wife was in the photos with the kids. When I asked about her he said his mom thought it would be a good idea if the ex wife spent the Holidays visiting the kids. I asked his sister if I could call her often to speak with the kids and she said she is busy during the day and that her friend keeps the kids and so I should call on weekends and Holidays . I saw the divorce decree. Is it possible they are still married traditionally? Would the wife remain with him even though we have a child together? If he is scamming why have a child with me and build a life etc versus finding contract marriage? Help me please