fem29,cococandy and armyofone its better jare. Life is already hectic as it is for someone to be inviting unnecessary drama ojare.

Fem29 I also try to give the 'owambe types' a very wide berth. But you know what I have also seen ones that 'try' to come across as 'classy' 'refined' also wash themselves in public like this o.

All in all, I think people just tag everyone BFF these days.I have friends who have been my friends for ages( since pry school) we don't see all the time sometimes even years but I know that even though we are not all up in each others business we care and look out for each other.

See where they were sending' loving' almost romantic messages on Instagram and a few months down the line naa egg things

The one I witnessed too was godmother to the other's child used to buy/wear the same clothes, were always in each others places and na swearing things after all that. Immigration and Met police almost got involved sef. It means all the 'closeness' and 'love' was fake/showboating and they never really liked each other as all the things and asiri( secrets) they shared in that 'close' period was ammo after they fell out.

It really puzzles me when someone is 'close friends or BFF' to someone they don't like

Oh well the complexity of the human mind.

Chillisauce:



Thanks.
I use it mainly for spaghetti cabonara. .noodles, cream sauce and draw soup.

Are you still running?
I stopped almost a month now. The morning cold no be am at all.

Great ideas, thanks.

I still run but not as much as before. that morning cold and darkness no be am

Maybe 4/5 times in the last month too .Do more indoor workouts now.

I was thinking of buying either a cross trainer or Dreadmill(sorry treadmill ) I just think running indoors is sooo boring.

tearoses:


These are the things I miss about London
But the number of parking tickets I get in London has made me run away

true sha London councils must to get revenue somehow naa.

I hear there is another leaf that the Asians have that is very very similar to Ewedu, maybe you can get those fresh.

cococandy:
U.K babes and entertainment galore.
I dey like to read their stories sha.

real stories men

armyofone:
I think because they refused to learn.
When your Nig friend tells you she needs a lawyer, just face front because you have your own wahala to deal with. Do gooder's headache . On getting overseas, people should know that the way we do friendship in Nigeria is over.
We all need that friendship, that connection, that someone who will be there for us. However, don't just trust easily because not everyone wants to be your true friend.
Mo ti mo ashiri e so begins the rat race. You that knows the ashiri, wahala, you that told the ashiri wahala, you that owed the ashiri, wahala

It's really the Asiri that is the rat race

That's why I can like to stay in my own lane.. The day I saw the ones whose wardrobes were identical start digging dirt on ancestry.com how one person got British Pali plus all their life history on FB I fear

I can be friendly and I cherish some of my friendships but I am not too good at all this kori kosun die in each other's houses friendship am just too lazy and in a way I sorta enjoy my own company. I also can't do cliques or plenty girls abi is it women that all roll together . I always stylishly disentangle myself once it's start getting to 'she said' 'she bought' ' aso ebi ' etc etc I no get pawa

But they are kinda crass and razz sha

Miami11:
they probably brought their village crass with them
A leopard does not change its spots only location

Na wa o

But why do plenty of these 'U.K' gals fall out with their 'best friends ' and start disgracing themselves all over social media naa?

kushma:
thanks

You are welcome ..

Chillisauce:
We went to search for mushrooms in the forest wit MIL and her friends (mushroom party)
See the quantity we got.

After then, nice wine, fois gras and baguette .
Very healthy . Mushrooms

That's a lot of mushrooms .. Abeg share recipes on how to make them


Happy new healthy eating year everyone

Thought to share .. Moving or being active is not tied to gym membership . Walking is a good way to build fitness gradually

tearoses:
Damiso I love the idea of ewedu and fish stew
I will def try that
Ive just had some jollof rice and chicken but a very small portion
Im busting the owambe jare
I need to take out my braids
Owambe plenty for this year

BTW where do you get your ewedu from
Our Indian shop sell frozen packs but it doesnt "draw" as well as the fresh ones.

I went to deptford market and stumbled on a shop that was unloading a fresh delivery from Nigeria so bought about 5 bunches. Picked,washed and put In freezer bags.

I hear they have days you can get them at all markets/stores that have African food .

I just wanted to show that eating healthy is not just oyinbo food and spinach and kale are Not the only green veg

kushma:
please outline all the ingredients u used in making that fruit stew

Hello ..

1 medium size tomato
Green,Yellow and Red bell pepper (1/2of each)
2 eggs (I egg white and 1 full egg) removed the yolk from one as i was trying to reduce cholesterol .i don't always remove it though just remembered yesterday but you can decide to use both yolks

Only seasoning was Dried mixed Herbs(thyme ,parsley sage and basil) trying to retrain my taste buds so that was the only seasoning but you can use salt or any other seasoning you like

Stir fried the veg with no oil and added the egg about 3 mins later

Mindfulness:


Thank you Damiso. Interesting read.

I think the problem lies with the definition as we obviously have different notions of what SAHMs do and this thread has clearly shown it.
I also think that we have different notions of mothers who work.

Obviously, not all SAHM are lazy (not that I have a problem with laziness anyway ) and not all working mums neglect their kids.
It is not only in the Nigerian context that SAHMs are frowned upon. I think it is worse in the West.

There are a lot of pros and cons on each side and everyone must choose the best option for themselves. I would never recommend any woman (e.g. my friend, daughter, sister) to stay at home entirely for a long period of time but that is just me and I have no difficulty respecting women who choose to do so.

You are right that there are pros and cons to both sides as with most things in life.its just up to you to decide what works best for you at any point in time .

Family life is very fluid and it's just trying to adjust and deal with the phases as they arise. I agree with you that the children won't be little forever and so it's a great idea to occupy ones self with other interests asides your children.

I love being occupied and can't cope with my only activities being just housework and childcare(and they are hardwork) however I won't deride those who dedicate themselves it it. I don't feel superior to them and i don't think they should feel superior to me.We are all just navigating this tricky world of being a parent as best as we both can.

tearoses:
Good Morning

This thread is quiet o!

Its only Damiso and Tim TV01 here o!

We are all supposed to be supporting each other

Weekends are the hardest for me because there is no real routine to weekends for me and anything can happen. My worst eating days are at weekends especially when there is always one thing or another in church on Sunday. Tomorrow for example is our love feast. God help me

I have an owambe today and still in 2 minds on whether to go cos owmabe party food is very unhealthy and when you refuse to eat the host takes it personal.

at taking it personal at owambe .. If you kinda trust the cooking/hygiene maybe eat moi moi and chicken (if they have roasted or grilled )plus one spoon of jollof rice . Or if they have fish have one with moi moi .Don't drink anything else but water.skip all the small chops totally. that one is hard for me cos I like puff puff but now am used to it. You will be fine at the owambe.

Weekends are a but awkward for me too because the routine is not as regimented as week days but what I do is make sure I eat breakfast, try to eat lunch early as well then have a light dinner.snacking unhealthily is the main issue so I try to stay away from them by keeping healthier options in view.

My breakfast this morning was two eggs with mixed peepers and a cup of green tea . I had it in with one whole meal wrap . I am so stuffed.

The other was my dinner last night . Ewedu and tilapia stew .had it with no swallow.

Mindfulness:
@onegai @cococandy @damiso

It is a very interesting topic and I have enjoyed reading your contributions.

You have touched upon the risk that a woman takes when she does not have her own source of income and I believe that it is important to be aware of the risk before one decides to stay at home. However, even in countries where women can rely on social welfare, many women choose to work when the child is about 2 or 3. So why - if not for social security?

Women have always been doing more than looking after their kids entirely and exclusively because they needed to, because they wanted to and because they intuitively knew when to let go step by step.

There is this modern day phenomenon called "helicopter parenting" and I believe that it makes many kids weird and socially awkward and I believe that it is also the result of over-protective parents who underestimate the importance of autonomy for a child's development.

As for me, I want to have it all! Why would I want to be at home 24/7 when everyone else leaves the house in the morning? It is very much about the money but it also is about fulfillment, recognition, success and fun, a lot of fun.

Is it not lazy to stay at home 24/7 when your kids are already in primary school? You don't have to work from 9-5 every day, what about a part-time arrangement?

I actually work full time at the moment with two children one not even yet in pry school so it's not like I keep defending stay at home mums because I am one(was for a while) . I would actually love to work part time (maybe will at some point if I find a job share ) but at the moment my role in my organisation needs a full time position. However I have the luck of having flexible working and work from home (at the worst possible scenario ) which might not necessarily be available to a lot of working people in Nigeria.

In the Nigerian context , stay at home mums are generally frowned upon because of the notion of 'not bringing in any money' I have been a stay at home mum and I was not idle.In short I was very busy, I actually got funding and on my own organised a small business forum. it was a sort of community outreach programme through my church and local authority and something I really enjoyed. I don't even have the time anymore

Every typical Nigerian around me including my own mother were always on my case 'to go back to work' and just look for a minder.that is because it was obvious all my 'activities' were not making me as much money as 'going to work' .My husband never complained to any of them but people kept 'imaginarily pitying him ' cos they felt he was paying all the bills (which he was for the big ticket items ) but they did not even stop to think that WE might actually have savings or even decided to take that option as a family.

Onegai has touched a lot on the issues I was talking about.like I always say when this topic has been rehashed and rehashed it's not a versus thing just do you. I also can't stand when some stay at home mums feel or judge working mums cos they feel they are there more for their kids. Let every parent try and do what is best for their children.

I had even made up my mind not to be commenting on these topics but i just can't help it when I start seeing the inference that ALL SAHMs are lazy or intellectually inferior.

Money is the common denominator in the Nigerian context and my hubby has had it implied that he was being lazy because he said he won't take a job that gives him little or no time to see his children.

This onegai can just save me from long typing I don't think anything is wrong wit being a stay at home mum if it is done for the right reasons BUT I get why it's not really a Nigerian thing. Finance is really important for respect in Nigeria (and even though I hate stereotypes and generalising ) sadly a non earning spouse is more often than not seen as adding 'No value ' so yeah I get why being a stay at home mum is not a great idea in Nigeria.

Yorubas even have a derogatory word to describe it

However this topic has been rehashed and rehashed on NL e don do now .

thorpido:
Wearing a waist clincher while exercising,especially if you are doing exercises for the abdominals is counter-productive.It doesn't allow your abdominal and back muscles to be exercised adequately but gives the false impression that your stomach muscles are getting tighter.
It doesn't allow your lungs to take in air adequately too.

@Op,I'll say it's just a fad.

I guessed as much .but I am not a trained fitness instructor /personal trainer so tend to try not to argue with people who say something is working for them

HourGlass3:
@damiso

Is the challenge for weekly weigh ins still on?

Tearoses has replied you dear as bit really participating in the weigh ins

The lecturers are spot on! Its no biggie he can always retake the year or defer his admission.

I see a lot people wearing them to the Gym or while working out .. Guess it works for them.A lot swear that it helped strengthen their core and get flat abs.

I have not/don't intend to try it though cos they are so darn uncomfortable even when you wear them when not working out

The concept has been around in different forms for a while now though i.e corsets,girdles, body magic etc so I don't think its going anywhere soon. I guess the fad bit might be people training/working out in them.

OP I have seen some introductions on bella naija and all I could do was ask is this the the trad aso ebi cake make up artist ,decoration etc etc I have heard its full on party for some these days and they still have another full on trad/engagement party.


Mine was a living room affair and I was even the one who cooked more than half of the food All hubbys family brought was basket of fruits and a drink for my dad. I wore an old Ankara skirt and blouse that I had at home sef

My sister's was much bigger though as they even had décor , she and her hubby did aso oke there were caterers décor etc. I heard intros are much bigger these days but even at my sisters I was not too impressed with all the fan fare But her husband's family and my husband's family are as different as night/day so I get it.

However if your fiancée is Yoruba the expenses should be from the brides family. All you need to budget for are gifts which are usually fruit basket and a few drinks. And maybe if you want give her money to buy an outfit you will both wear. Nothing too expensive or over the top.

It all comes down to what you can afford. Put your feet down and stick to what you can afford and is within your budget. If she and her family want a 400k intro they better be footing the bill.

kween911:
tanx I get ur points I will follow dem accordingly.

You are welcome .

kween911:
Hi peeps does green tea reduce one's weight coz am aving a pack wit me that I want to start using

Hi Kween.. there are indications that green tea is a good anti oxidant. It has also been shown to boost the metabolic rate and increase fat burning in the short term, although not all studies agree. It has been also been said to improve brain performance amongst many other benefits.


However I personally believe ( and I know this is subjective and varies with individuals) there is no single 'heathy/super' food that helps weight loss on its OWN. I might not be coming across coherently but let me give an example you cant eat a big loaf of agege bread with 3 fried eggs dripping in oil that had corned beef plus green tea at breakfast, have gala and coke for mid morning snack, eat a very big bowl of rice dodo,moi moi,6pcs of beef,egg spaghetti plus green tea at lunch,have a bag of fried plantain chips as snack plus another coke then eat a big bowl of eba with more orisirisi meta at dinner then drink green tea on top all this with very little or no exercise and expect to lose weight The green tea is not a magician as the person above is consuming too many calories while burning little.

Green tea will help the metabolic rate for someone on a balanced diet who also tries to live an active lifestyle. I drink about 3 cups of green tea/herbal teas a day and I can say that maybe it did help me lose weight. But this was with a combination of some other factors which includes the two main things I mentioned earlier which are eating healthy meals and exercising.

So you can drink your green tea but do that as well eating clean and exercising.

tearoses:
Last night I had my chicken breast suya and runner beans
Very filling
But the pepper na die
I actually made it in my Regis Stone frying pan.....no oil needed and the food wont stick
Please get one if you can. They are really good
They are about £20. I am not sure if they are available in Nigeria.

Damiso thanks for posting your meal. I will try that too
is that pitta bread?

Wishing us all a fruitful and successful day

Yes we can!

Yes it is pitta bread. Wholemeal pitta bread. You can tweak it as you wish with other vegetables.

I have the Regis stone frying pan. Its brilliant!

CC keep at the skipping. I was rubbish at it but I kept practising and now I can do 1,000 reps at a go. You can break it into sets. So for instance if you want to do 200 reps, you can do it 50X4 sets. It makes it easier that way. For a 1,000 I break into 100reps X10 or 200X 5.

Its a great all over WO that works muscles in various parts of the body and burns more calories than jogging with less time for those days you just cant be bothered to go for long walk/jog/runs.

TV01:

...no probs.


As long as you are full, and getting a good range and combination of good whole foods, you should be fine. Diet is a whole discourse on it's own. Again just keep abreat of news and tweak to fit.


This sound fine to me. It actually looks like you have room for a little indulgence (oya fess up already ). Do you eschew sauces and dressings?


If you can see the improvement, just keep on doing what you are doing, with tweaks here and there. Bearing in mind that you want to be fatigued, injured or overworked.

Mixing it up is good so that you don't become bored, overwork certain muscles, and have all round strength and fitness. The run I did last Friday hurt so much, and for like 3 days after. Just 25 mins in the park 0, but I haven't run for like a year.

All the best as you work towards your goals. Please keep sharing and help motivate others. I'm impressed!


TV

Thank you TV.. Like you said I will keep mixing it up and reading up . As you said the main idea is to be fit and healthy, a nice toned body is just a plus.

I don't really like dressings. i tend to have olive oil and pepper on my salads, but I should have added that I do have sauces . I even have our Naija omi obe regularly sef,its just that I try to make them in a healthier way ( very little or no oil). There was no sauce in the meal i posted cos i used the avocado as a spread.

I will definitely share as i learn on his thread. Thank you again.

TV01:

I'll try !


1. You appear to be cramming in a lot of sessions per week and at the same time restricting intake? What would you have after 6pm? In terms of type of food and amount?

2. Fasting can of course vary, but I typically do full days, be that water only, or water and juices. TBH 6 to6 is not a real struggle for me - unless I'm trying to exercise hard as well - I often skip meals or have no more than 2 a day.


My preference is to do one or t'other, not both. I have to confess, I've had liquid weekends and gone running on both days. But that was a long-time ago, and not something I would recommend. Even if one does both, I would advise slowly building up capacity/tolerance

I can exercise up until the day before - I went running on Friday morning - then 2 days liquid - then a day of eating before resuming exercise on Tuesday. Not both. And not with your total workload and responsibilities.


Switching to weight training, or more of it, will demand a more comprehensive look at your diet and what you hope to achieve. So for example, a man looking to bulk up would have a different program from a woman looking to tone up.

Whatever the regime, or the aim, I would always have basal considerations of rest, injury avoidance, and feeling good. Right now, for me, fasting is an occassional boost to relax, meditate, detox and allow the digestion to rest. Say once a quarter. I used to have a dedicated weekly fast day, and have of course had more specific spiritual fasts.

I would consider doing both extreme, quite extreme in fact. Especially if you are not competing. As a boxer, I used to do extreme things to make weight, but I don't see why that would be called for in your case.

I don't see the point in overloading oneself. It defeats the purpose, can be demotivating, lead to injury, fatigue and burnout. What is required is commitment to a solid regime - which you have. Tweak that for gains/efficiency - which it appears you are aiming to - but please don't overwork yourself.

You'll find a balance, be that 2,3,4 or 5 days a week, plus a dietary regime. Proper and L/T gains come from a solid commitment. Don't miss sessions, don't stray to far from clean eating (bar any allowed indulgences). But rest if you feel unusually fatigued, or any niggles.


Pilates isa good. I have done Yoga in the past, but the whole Christian taboo thing meant I opted for Pilates in the end. Wifey incorporate Pilates, and Zumba as well. If you do a lot of sessions, mix up some lighter ones. I row, which is low impact, as is Spin - baba class!


HNY Damiso, Amen!


TV

Thank you TV01 all your suggestions are very much appreciated ..will probably stagger it like you said and I love Zumba.

As for your questions , I tend to work out in the Mornings and occasionally evenings depending on childcare arrangements. Depending on the WO intensity attached would be an example of what I would have in the morning. This was my breakfast this morning and my session this morning was Shaun T25 focus.Some days I have a smoothie some days oats sweetened with dates,almonds and various seeds. And done days fat free yoghurt and fruit.try to mix it up a bit .On Saturdays I tend to have eggs and vegetables .

For lunch I would have something like sweet potatoes steamed veg and fish . And dinner would be more veg/protein eg spinach or broccoli and maybe grilled chicken . I would have green tea with breakfast and lunch and another type of herbal tea for dinner eg camomile,red bush(something caffeine free ).

You are right my goal is have a toned body and ribbed abs my tummy is not big but I have this annoying wobbly bit (Gradually going sha ). My husband says am getting obsessed and he does not see what is wrong with my tummy for someone who has has had 2 kids but I know he is just trying to make me feel good ..

Thank you again

TV01 can you help with suggestions?

I tend to eat more complex carbs i.e. sweet potatoes, yam, brown rice, whole grain cous cous etc in small portions .. Completely cutting out carbs makes me feel dizzy/very weak especially as I do some form of working out ( running ,skipping ,HIIT,kick boxing, weight training etc ) about 4/5 times a week. My dilemma is I don't eat any carbs after 6pm. So if am on a fast and breaking the fast at 6pm I would tend to not want to have Carbs.

Do you advise I totally abstain from working out during the fasting period ( which I don't want to) or do less demanding exercises. I was going to incorporate some more weight training this year anyway( bought some heavier weights over the weekend) and do less cardio but don't know how my body will react to working full time, fasting and still working out at the rate which I normally do .


Any low impact exercise suggestions( apart from walking ) would be appreciated. My working out buddy suggested Yoga but never really gotten the whole yoga thing.

Happy New year to you and yours by the way. May It be a blessed and fulfilling one for us all by His Grace

Well done All...

solid advice tearoses about making it a sustainable lifestyle change, by becoming fit and healthy.

Onegai:



I'm sure they sell them in Nigeria but you can easily get them off Amazon. They're super cute, I have a whole stash of them and when they're dirty, I toss them into a wetbag until wash-day. No smells, no wahala, we use an organic diaper rash cream (you can either mix one easily or use plain coconut oil) and anyone who tells you they're unhygenic is being ignorant as they actually help better for rashes.

I was going to call you to this thread

Those nappies are so cute .. Pity I don't want to go through that again but I would have definitely gone for them .. na 1 year maternity leave we dey get so no wahala

Will check them out on Amazon and buy some for my sister , I have passed her the baton

tearoses:
LOL Damiso

Well done girl!

I actually weigh myself daily and even though people advise against it it keeps me on track on a day to day basis. So if I am naughty on Monday, it shows when I weigh on Tuesday am and so I am able to adjust duriing the day.

@tunapa what are you reserving

I know someone who does that too.. ie weigh in everyday

What I have found is different things work for different people in the bid to live healthy. Some need to lose a lot of weight so sometimes they might need to take drastic actions and do stuff to motivate themselves that might not necessarily work long term but is needed at that point ie calculating macros to the tiniest gram ,weighing in everyday or every week.etc.

I just found that the weigh in used to depress me especially as I was basically working out 5/6 times a week so the scale not moving was dampener. I just decided to keep moving and eat properly with portion control on lock down and with time the weight fell off naturally.Also sometimes it was not accurate due to certain other factors eg water retention etc


Happy new year may it be a fit healthy one for us all..



Try to get in some sort of exercise today people

Happy new year everyone wish you all a blessed and fulfilling 2016

ayolight:
Hello house, hw is everyone doing. Light is doing great nd improving so fast. She is now so active and playing so well.
What more can I say but to give God all glory. It's can only God who can work dis way. I never knew I can witness tday. Now, every morning wen I wake up I'm always filled with gratitude twrds God nd twrds every one in this house. There is no day or let me say there is no time I see Light that I dnt remember this house.
This house is a blessing cos it's filled with blessed people.
Thank you everyone. I can't thank u all enough but one thing I know is dat God Himself ll bless u all.
Thanks for standing by us
Thanks for encouraging us
Thanks for praying for us
Thanks for pushing us
Thanks for donating for us
Thanks for sharing in our pains
Thanks for sharing in our happiness
Thanks for laughing with us
Thanks for talking others into helping us.
Thanks for creating the awareness
Thanks for making me laugh
Thanks for making me cry wit joy
Thanks for forcing me to eat
Thanks for d strength
Thanks for allowing God to use you
Thanks for everything.
Thanks so much.

Praise God ... I am so very filled with Joy at this Good news.

Kisses and Hugs to Light