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Akpos who was a houseboy usually sneaks into his Oga's room, drinks his wine and adds water to top it up. One day his Oga bought a new wine called pasties, it was a french wine that changes colour if water is added onto it. Akpos unaware of this, sneaks into his Oga's room, drank the new wine and added water on it. Immediately it started changing colour.
...
Akpos: I am in trouble, big trouble.
He ran to the kitchen. Meanwhile, oga and madam were sitted in the parlour, while Akpos was in the kitchen.
...
OGA: Akpos
Akpos: Oga
OGA: who drank my pasties?.
No answer!
OGA: Akpos, who drank my pasties?.
No answer. Oga walked to the kitchen and saw Akpos there.
OGA: Are you insane or what?. Why when i call, you say "Oga" but when i ask you a question you don't answer me.
Akpos: Oga when you are in the kitchen you don't understand anything except your name.
OGA: Is that so?. Okay go to the parlour, stand beside madam and ask me a questionwhile i stand here. Akpos went and did what oga said.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa
OGA: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who goes into the maid's bedroom when madam is not at home?.
No answer.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa!!! You dey hear me, i say who dey sneak enter the house girl room when madam no dey house.
No answer. Oga runs out of the kitchen.
OGA: Wonders shall never end. Akpos, it is true o, when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear anything, except one's name.
MADAM: That's not true. It's a lie.
Akpos: Madam, do you want to be tested?.
MADAM: Yes
Akpos: Oya enter the kitchen
She enters.
Akpos: Madam
MADAM: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who is Junior's biological Father?. Me or Oga
Madam rushed out of the kitchen
MADAM: This kitchen needs to be fumigated o, i can't understand anything at all.

Akpos was in front of me coming out from the church after service, and the preacher was standing at the door as usual to shake hands.

He grabbed Akpos by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him,"You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

Akpos replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"

He whispered back, "Am an undercover agent!"

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman moves to the rear of the bus and
sits down, fuming. She says to Akpos who was next to her in the bus, "the driver just insulted me."

Akpos says "You go up there and give that stupid driver a big slap. Go on madam, I'll help you hold your monkey."

Many scientific studies have investigated possible health symptoms of mobile phone radiation. These studies are occasionally reviewed by some scientific committees to assess overall risks. A recent assessment was published in 2007 by the European Commission Scientific Committee on Emerging and Newly Identified Health Risks (SCENIHR).[5] It concludes that the three lines of evidence, viz. animal, in vitro, and epidemiological studies, indicate that "exposure to RF fields is unlikely to lead to an increase in cancer in humans".
Radiation absorption

Part of the radio waves emitted by a mobile telephone handset are absorbed by the human head. The radio waves emitted[dubious – discuss] by a GSM handset can have a peak power of 2 watts, and a US analogue phone had a maximum transmit power of 3.6 watts. .[citation needed] Other digital mobile technologies, such as CDMA2000 and D-AMPS, use lower output power, typically below 1 watt.[dubious – discuss] The maximum power output from a mobile phone is regulated by the mobile phone standard and by the regulatory agencies in each country.[citation needed] In most systems the cellphone and the base station check reception quality and signal strength and the power level is increased or decreased automatically, within a certain span, to accommodate different situations, such as inside or outside of buildings and vehicles.[dubious – discuss] The rate at which energy is absorbed by the human body is measured by the Specific Absorption Rate (SAR), and its maximum levels for modern handsets have been set by governmental regulating agencies in many countries. In the USA, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has set a SAR limit of 1.6 W/kg, averaged over a volume of 1 gram of tissue, for the head. In Europe, the limit is 2 W/kg, averaged over a volume of 10 grams of tissue. SAR values are heavily dependent on the size of the averaging volume. Without information about the averaging volume used, comparisons between different measurements cannot be made. Thus, the European 10-gram ratings should be compared among themselves, and the American 1-gram ratings should only be compared among themselves. SAR data for specific mobile phones, along with other useful information, can be found directly on manufacturers' websites, as well as on third party web sites.[6] It is worth noting that thermal radiation is not comparable to ionizing radiation in that it only increases the temperature in normal matter, it does not break molecular bonds or release electrons from their atoms.
Thermal effects

One well-understood effect of microwave radiation is dielectric heating, in which any dielectric material (such as living tissue) is heated by rotations of polar molecules induced by the electromagnetic field. In the case of a person using a cell phone, most of the heating effect will occur at the surface of the head, causing its temperature to increase by a fraction of a degree. In this case, the level of temperature increase is an order of magnitude less than that obtained during the exposure of the head to direct sunlight. The brain's blood circulation is capable of disposing of excess heat by increasing local blood flow. However, the cornea of the eye does not have this temperature regulation mechanism and exposure of 2–3 hours duration has been reported to produce cataracts in rabbits' eyes at SAR values from 100-140W/kg, which produced lenticular temperatures of 41°C. There were no cataracts detected in the eyes of monkeys exposed under similar conditions.[7] Premature cataracts have not been linked with cell phone use, possibly because of the lower power output of mobile phones.
Non-thermal effects

The communications protocols used by mobile phones often result in low-frequency pulsing of the carrier signal. Whether these modulations have biological significance has been subject to debate.[8]

Some researchers have argued that so-called "non-thermal effects" could be reinterpreted as a normal cellular response to an increase in temperature. The German biophysicist Roland Glaser, for example,[9] has argued that there are several thermoreceptor molecules in cells, and that they activate a cascade of second and third messenger systems, gene expression mechanisms and production of heat shock proteins in order to defend the cell against metabolic cell stress caused by heat. The increases in temperature that cause these changes are too small to be detected by studies such as REFLEX, which base their whole argument on the apparent stability of thermal equilibrium in their cell cultures.

Other researchers believe the stress proteins are unrelated to thermal effects, since they occur for both extremely low frequencies (ELF) and radio frequencies (RF), which have very different energy levels.[10] Another preliminary study published in 2011 by The Journal of the American Medical Association conducted using fluorodeoxyglucose injections and positron emission tomography concluded that exposure to radiofrequency signal waves within parts of the brain closest to the cell phone antenna resulted in increased levels of glucose metabolism, but the clinical significance of this finding is unknown.[11][12]
Blood–brain barrier effects

Swedish researchers from Lund University (Salford, Brun, Persson, Eberhardt, and Malmgren) have studied the effects of microwave radiation on the rat brain. They found a leakage of albumin into the brain via a permeated blood–brain barrier.[13][14] This confirms earlier work on the blood–brain barrier by Allan Frey, Oscar and Hawkins, and Albert and Kerns.[15] Other groups have not confirmed these findings in in vitro cell studies[16] or whole animal studies.[17]
Cancer

In 2006 a large Danish study about the connection between mobile phone use and cancer incidence was published. It followed over 420,000 Danish citizens for 20 years and showed no increased risk of cancer.[18] The German Federal Office for Radiation Protection (Bundesamt für Strahlenschutz) considers this report inconclusive.[19]

The following studies of long time exposure have been published:

The 13 nation INTERPHONE project – the largest study of its kind ever undertaken – has now been published and did not find a solid link between mobile phones and brain tumours.[20]

The International Journal of Epidemiology published[21] a combined data analysis from a multi national population-based case-control study of glioma and meningioma, the most common types of brain tumour.

The authors reported the following conclusion:

Overall, no increase in risk of glioma or meningioma was observed with use of mobile phones. There were suggestions of an increased risk of glioma at the highest exposure levels, but biases and error prevent a causal interpretation. The possible effects of long-term heavy use of mobile phones require further investigation.

In the press release[22] accompanying the release of the paper, Dr. Christopher Wild, Director of the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) said:

An increased risk of brain cancer is not established from the data from Interphone. However, observations at the highest level of cumulative call time and the changing patterns of mobile phone use since the period studied by Interphone, particularly in young people, mean that further investigation of mobile phone use and brain cancer risk is merited.

A number of independent health and government authorities have commented on this important study including The Australian Centre for Radiofrequency Bioeffects Research (ACRBR) which said in a statement that:[23]

Until now there have been concerns that mobile phones were causing increases in brain tumours. Interphone is both large and rigorous enough to address this claim, and it has not provided any convincing scientific evidence of an association between mobile phone use and the development of glioma or meningioma. While the study demonstrates some weak evidence of an association with the highest tenth of cumulative call time (but only in those who started mobile phone use most recently), the authors conclude that biases and errors limit the strength of any conclusions in this group. It now seems clear that if there was an effect of mobile phone use on brain tumour risks in adults, this is likely to be too small to be detectable by even a large multinational study of the size of Interphone.

The Australian Radiation Protection and Nuclear Safety Agency (ARPANSA)which said in a statement that:

On the basis of current understanding of the relationship between brain cancer and use of mobile phones, including the recently published data from the INTERPHONE study, ARPANSA:

concludes that currently available data do not warrant any general recommendation to limit use of mobile phones in the adult population,

continues to inform those concerned about potential health effects that they may limit their exposure by reducing call time, by making calls where reception is good, by using hands-free devices or speaker options, or by texting; and

recommends that, due to the lack of any data relating to children and long term use of mobile phones, parents encourage their children to limit their exposure by reducing call time, by making calls where reception is good, by using hands-free devices or speaker options, or by texting.

The Cancer Council Australia said in a statement that it cautiously welcomed the results of the largest international study to date into mobile phone use, which has found no evidence that normal use of mobile phones, for a period up to 12 years, can cause brain cancer.

Chief Executive Officer, Professor Ian Olver, said findings from the Interphone study, conducted across 13 countries including Australia, were consistent with other research that had failed to find a link between mobile phones and cancer.

This supports previous research showing mobile phones don’t damage cell DNA, meaning they can’t cause the type of genetic mutations that develop into cancer,” Professor Olver said.

However, it has been suggested that electromagnetic fields associated with mobile phones may play a role in speeding up the development of an existing cancer. The Interphone study found no evidence to support this theory.

A Danish study (2004) that took place over 10 years found no evidence to support a link. However, this study has been criticized for collecting data from subscriptions and not necessarily from actual users. It is known that some subscribers do not use the phones themselves but provide them for family members to use. That this happens is supported by the observation that only 61% of a small sample of the subscribers reported use of mobile phones when responding to a questionnaire.[18][24]

A Swedish study (2005) that draws the conclusion that "the data do not support the hypothesis that mobile phone use is related to an increased risk of glioma or meningioma."[25]

A British study (2005) that draws the conclusion that "The study suggests that there is no substantial risk of acoustic neuroma in the first decade after starting mobile phone use. However, an increase in risk after longer term use or after a longer lag period could not be ruled out."[26]

A German study (2006) that states "In conclusion, no overall increased risk of glioma or meningioma was observed among these cellular phone users; however, for long-term cellular phone users, results need to be confirmed before firm conclusions can be drawn."[27]

A joint study conducted in northern Europe that draws the conclusion that "Although our results overall do not indicate an increased risk of glioma in relation to mobile phone use, the possible risk in the most heavily exposed part of the brain with long-term use needs to be explored further before firm conclusions can be drawn."[28]

Other studies on cancer and mobile phones are:

A Swedish scientific team at the Karolinska Institute conducted an epidemiological study (2004) that suggested that regular use of a mobile phone over a decade or more was associated with an increased risk of acoustic neuroma, a type of benign brain tumor. The increase was not noted in those who had used phones for fewer than 10 years.[29]

The INTERPHONE study group from Japan published the results of a study of brain tumour risk and mobile phone use. They used a new approach: determining the SAR inside a tumour by calculating the radio frequency field absorption in the exact tumour location. Cases examined included glioma, meningioma, and pituitary adenoma. They reported that the overall odds ratio (OR) was not increased and that there was no significant trend towards an increasing OR in relation to exposure, as measured by SAR.[30]

In 2007, Dr. Lennart Hardell, from Örebro University in Sweden, reviewed published epidemiological papers (2 cohort studies and 16 case-control studies) and found that:[31]

Cell phone users had an increased risk of malignant gliomas.
Link between cell phone use and a higher rate of acoustic neuromas.
Tumors are more likely to occur on the side of the head that the cell handset is used.
One hour of cell phone use per day significantly increases tumor risk after ten years or more.

In a February 2008 update on the status of the INTERPHONE study IARC stated that the long term findings ‘…could either be causal or artifactual, related to differential recall between cases and controls.’[32]
Wikinews has related news: Media reports exaggerate cell phone cancer risk

A self-published and non-peer reviewed meta-study by Dr. Vini Khurana, an Australian neurosurgeon, presented what it termed "increasing body of evidence ... for a link between mobile phone usage and certain brain tumours" and that it "is anticipated that this danger has far broader public health ramifications than asbestos and smoking".[33] This was criticised as ‘… an unbalanced analysis of the literature, which is also selective in support of the author’s claims.’[34]

A publication titled "Public health implications of wireless technologies" cites that Lennart Hardell found age is a significant factor. The report repeated the finding that the use of cell phones before age 20 increased the risk of brain tumors by 5.2, compared to 1.4 for all ages.[35] A review by Hardell et al. concluded that current mobile phones are not safe for long-term exposure.[36]

In a time trends study in Europe, conducted by the Institute of Cancer Epidemiology in Copenhagen, no significant increase in brain tumors among cell phone users was found between the years of 1998 and 2003. "The lack of a trend change in incidence from 1998 to 2003 suggests that the induction period relating mobile phone use to brain tumors exceeds 5–10 years, the increased risk in this population is too small to be observed, the increased risk is restricted to subgroups of brain tumors or mobile phone users, or there is no increased risk."[37]

On 31 May 2011 the International Agency for Research on Cancer classified radiofrequency electromagnetic fields as possibly carcinogenic to humans (Group 2B). The IARC assessed and evaluated available literature and studies about the carcinogenicity of radiofrequency electromagnetic fields (RF-EMF), and found the evidence to be "limited for carcinogenicity of RF-EMF, based on positive associations between glioma and acoustic neuroma and exposure". The conclusion of the IARC was mainly based on the INTERPHONE study, which found an increased risk for glioma in the highest category of heavy users (30 minutes per day over a 10‐year period), although no increased risk was found at lower exposure and other studies could not back up the findings. The evidence for other types of cancer was found to be "inadequate". Some members of the Working Group opposed the conclusions and considered the current evidence in humans still as “inadequate”, citing inconsistencies between the assessed studies.[2][38]

Researchers at the National Cancer Institute found that while cell phone use increased substantially over the period 1992 to 2008 (from nearly zero to almost 100 percent of the population), the U.S. trends in glioma incidence did not mirror that increase.[1]
Cognitive effects

A 2009 study examined the effects of exposure to radiofrequency radiation (RFR) emitted by standard GSM cell phones on the cognitive functions of humans. The study confirmed longer (slower) response times to a spatial working memory task when exposed to RFR from a standard GSM cellular phone placed next to the head of male subjects, and showed that longer duration of exposure to RFR may increase the effects on performance. Right-handed subjects exposed to RFR on the left side of their head on average had significantly longer response times when compared to exposure to the right side and sham-exposure.[39]
Electromagnetic hypersensitivity
Main article: Electromagnetic hypersensitivity

Some users of mobile handsets have reported feeling several unspecific symptoms during and after its use; ranging from burning and tingling sensations in the skin of the head and extremities, fatigue, sleep disturbances, dizziness, loss of mental attention, reaction times and memory retentiveness, headaches, malaise, tachycardia (heart palpitations), to disturbances of the digestive system. Reports have noted that all of these symptoms can also be attributed to stress and that current research cannot separate the symptoms from nocebo effects.[40]
Genotoxic effects

A meta-analysis (2008) of 63 in vitro and in vivo studies from the years 1990–2005 concluded that RF radiation was genotoxic only in some conditions and that the studies reporting positive effects evidenced publication bias.[41]

A meta-study (2009) of 101 publications on genotoxicity of RF electromagnetic fields showed that 49 reported a genotoxic effect and 42 not. The authors found "ample evidence that RF-EMF can alter the genetic material of exposed cells in vivo and in vitro and in more than one way".[42]

In 1995, in the journal Bioelectromagnetics, Henry Lai and Narenda P. Singh reported damaged DNA after two hours of microwave radiation at levels deemed safe according to U.S. government standards.[43]

In December 2004, a pan-European study named REFLEX (Risk Evaluation of Potential Environmental Hazards from Low Energy Electromagnetic Field (EMF) Exposure Using Sensitive in vitro Methods), involving 12 collaborating laboratories in several countries showed some compelling evidence of DNA damage of cells in in-vitro cultures, when exposed between 0.3 to 2 watts/kg, whole-sample average. There were indications, but not rigorous evidence of other cell changes, including damage to chromosomes, alterations in the activity of certain genes and a boosted rate of cell division. [44]

Research published in 2004 by a team at the University of Athens had a reduction in reproductive capacity in fruit flies exposed to 6 minutes of 900 MHz pulsed radiation for five days.[45]

Subsequent research, again conducted on fruit flies, was published in 2007, with the same exposure pattern but conducted at both 900 MHz and 1800 MHz, and had similar changes in reproductive capacity with no significant difference between the two frequencies.[46]

Following additional tests published in a third article, the authors stated they thought their research suggested the changes were “…due to degeneration of large numbers of egg chambers after DNA fragmentation of their constituent cells …”.[47]

Australian research conducted in 2009 by subjecting in vitro samples of human spermatozoa to radio-frequency radiation at 1.8 GHz and specific absorption rates (SAR) of 0.4 to 27.5 W/kg showed a correlation between increasing SAR and decreased motility and vitality in sperm, increased oxidative stress and 8-Oxo-2'-deoxyguanosine markers, stimulating DNA base adduct formation and increased DNA fragmentation.[48]

Both Nokia and Microsoft were once titans in the smartphone world, but the pair have struggled to find favor with consumers, carriers and developers in the iPhone-Android era. Now, the two companies, which have become close partners, hope they’ve finally found the formula for success. The product on which their hopes rest is Nokia’s new flagship smartphone, the Lumia 920, running Microsoft’s revamped operating system, Windows Phone 8.

I’ve been testing the Lumia 920 and consider it a handsome, high-quality phone with attractive features that worked well for me. Not only that, but it costs half of what most other top-of-the-line smartphones set you back, and yet gives you twice the typical memory. It is greatly improved from the first flagship Lumia, last spring’s Lumia 900.

While this isn’t a review of the new Windows Phone 8 software, I can say that it also has improved in the past year. Its underlying architecture has been rebuilt, it is faster and more reliable, it now has smaller icons so you needn’t scroll as much to find what you want, and it still offers a fresh, engaging interface that sets it apart.
image

The brightly colored Lumia 920 is 65 percent heavier than Apple’s iPhone 5.

But the Lumia 920 has two big drawbacks: It is heavy and thick, and, like all Windows Phones, it has a much smaller app selection than the iPhone or Android phones.

This new Lumia, which costs $100 with a two-year contract from AT&T, has a sharp, vibrant 4.5-inch screen, a very good 8.7-megapixel rear camera, and is fast and fluid. It supports LTE, the most consistently speedy U.S. cellular-data technology, and has 32 gigabytes of memory for storage. It is made of plastic, but it is a solid-feeling plastic in bright colors — including red, yellow and blue — that are injected into the material.

The phone also has some unusual features. Its screen responds to fingernails and even fingers clad in regular thin gloves (though winter-weight gloves didn’t work for me). And it can be charged without plugging in a cable, by merely placing it on a charging plate that plugs into the wall. (The charging plate, normally a $49 option, is being included with the phone for an unspecified period.)

While I didn’t do a formal battery test, this Nokia lasted me through a day of mixed use. Voice calls were reliable and clear, and the phone’s speakers sounded great. Photos and videos looked very good.

In my tests, the LTE speeds were very good, averaging 17 megabits per second downstream. But AT&T’s LTE network is only in about 100 cities.

However, the Lumia 920 has a few characteristics that may turn off potential buyers. The biggest downside is its sheer size. This may be the heaviest modern smartphone I’ve tested, and it’s one of the thickest.

To give you an idea, it’s 65 percent heavier than Apple’s iPhone 5, and 40 percent thicker. We’re in an era of smartphones with larger and larger screens, but most phone makers take care to keep these bigger-screen phones relatively light and thin, something Nokia didn’t do here. For instance, compared with the latest high-end Android phone, Google’s Nexus 4, which has an even larger 4.7-inch screen, the Lumia 920 is 33 percent heavier and 17 percent thicker.
image

It can be charged by placing it on a charging plate that plugs into the wall.

The second major downside is app selection on the Windows Phone platform. The number, quality and variety of apps has improved considerably in the past year. But developers still either ignore Windows Phone or write for the platform well after they’ve launched on Android or Apple’s iOS mobile operating system. The Lumia 920 has about 120,000 apps, versus some 700,000 for the iPhone and the latest Android phones.

Sheer numbers of apps may seem irrelevant after a certain point. In fact, important apps like Facebook, Twitter, Netflix, Kindle, Yelp, the New York Times and Words With Friends are available on the Lumia 920 and worked in my tests. Plus, only Windows Phones have smartphone versions of Microsoft Office programs.

But my searches of the app store on the new Lumia failed to turn up plenty of popular apps available on the Apple and Google platforms, such as Instagram, Dropbox, Google Drive, YouTube, HBO GO, Spotify, Pandora radio, United Airlines, MLB, Scrabble and Starbucks.

Some other annoyances turned up in my tests. An update to one of the built-in settings features has remained stuck in the app store for days (Nokia can’t explain why). The camera, which claims superior image stability and low-light performance, generally did very well for me. But it sometimes had a tendency to take over-bright shots. For instance, an orange wine label came out as yellow.

Voice recognition is a weak point on the Lumia 920. Its ability to answer spoken questions and commands lagged far behind Apple’s and Google’s in my tests. And its dictation capability for things like email and texts was atrocious, never coming close to accurate.

The wireless charging plate worked every time for me. But it has a gigantic wall adapter and takes about an hour longer to charge the phone fully than the included standard charger cable.

All in all, though, the Nokia Lumia 920 is worth considering, if you can live with a heavy device — especially given its combination of low price and strong features.
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