Hey, no hard feelings, just making sure i'm being "my brother's keeper."

Aaaah!! Zah, abeg o! shouldn't you be getting ready to go to school now why don't you wait a couple more years, and you can join forums like this, what does your mummy think about you using the net? be aware of internet predators ok, good boy

Zahymaka

You'd have what say it now. where are? and how can you be younger than i am i'm not that old o! please!

@ Whitelexi and Zahymaka

You guys are funny, who said a good husband material shouldn't know/ wouldn't know that his lady love has insecurities and would need re-affirmation every now and again, instead of just basking in his beauty!

A relationship works when both parties give as much as they get, and maybe more, and are constantly communicating. If you're so cute, and in all your cuteness you tell your chic she's the bomb and bla, she'll stick by you regardless of wether ladies are killing themselves over you. And the same thing applies to ladies too, if you're that good looking, affirm your man! let your partner know that they're what matters, the looks and issues of looks won't be a problem!

I'm a wife material (whether or whether not, i like to think of myself as one), and i give attention and i expect it in return, it's mutual.

@Biggjoe

Honey, i don't think we were expecting anything other than what you've written--your writing's very predictable, because we can tell your mindset and know that you're going to be very stubborn and hold on to your doctrines, so we're not surprised.

It'll do you good to dump all those misiles/ bulletins, or whatever y'all by for =N=5 (Unless the price has gone up) before going for mass, and pick up a bible and read it cover to cover. The bible's been given to us for instruction in righteousness (2 Tim 3:16), and when it was talking about "ALL" it wasn't refering to what was written outside of the bible.

So do the world, and yourself especially, a favor, go and study to show yourself approved unto God, and rightly divide that truth, not what dogma is teaching you.

@ Whitelexi

I don't know about them being cheats, but for sure there's just too much attention given to them, and if one's in a relationship with them, you can't have rest of mind, cuz you'll be up wondering what evil ideas are running through some chics' head to snatch your man.

It's good to feel confident in your looks, but, baby, when that's all you have to offer--that's not much!

When i'm upset i call his full name, plus last name sef, but on a good day, in public or otherwise it's:
Honey
Sweet
Baby (which's what i call him a lot, he gets called all of them)

Interesting, i'm really bored out of my brain, i'm just going through old posts.

I can't stand slobs, they make sharing a space very hard. I can totally live with a neat freak--all well and good, we won't have problems. Let's see, where am i? i'll like to think i'm balanced, but i really lean heavily towards the neat-freak, and i don't have to worry about my future husband, we're just the same.

Cute guys really think they're all that, especially with ladies are all up in their faces and stuff, so they'd really think they're God's gift to women folk, and so as to avoid all that drama of a guy feeling too special, you'll settle for a guy who's got more to offer than looks.

Another thing's that cute guys are not serious--they're too cute for their own good! they enjoy a lot of frivolous things, especially when a lady's not ready to waste time, no way she's going to want to sweat it out with a "cute guy." I have a family friend, he's cute alright, but he's constantly looking in the mirror! some summers back i felt like just stuffing a pillow in his mouth--before we go to church he'd walk past a mirror a dozen times, he'd be driving--he'd be checking out himself in the mirrors. I've never heard him hold a conversation without refering to his looks, i think it's a turn off.

All the best to your friend, cuz i saw a DV lottery packet, and it's clearly stated that they should have their birth certificates, as other forms of whtever are no longer accepted, if they ever were. If he can't find his birth certificate he should get him mum to write that she gave birth to him, date and all of that, and have a notary signatured on it. I guess the lawyer's the other option for appeal, i don't know how that's going to work sha! but all the best with that.

Honestly, what you know will either deliver you or condemn you, teaching matters, we need to search scriptures for ourselves. I mean, people are STRUGGLING to make it to heaven, when God's told us that all that pertains to life and godliness He's given to us already--so why the struggle?? we need to know what's been provided to make it to heaven, and not the rules of a church, besides, we're the church, not the buildings, or the leaders that make up the committee,

It's a matter of conviction, if your goal is making it to heaven, see what the bible says on making it to heaven, it doesn't matter what the church lays out as a means of making it to heaven "wear this, watch that, don't do this" at the end of the day people will not make it to heaven because they've missed that which is needed--a personal relationship with the Holy Spirit.

Our generation needs to be encouraged to seek that relationship, i believe that it's in the seeking they will find out how to live holy, how to live right, how to dress right, and how to speak right! it's in the relationship that parents will know how to parent their children and monitor them also. When you have a relationship with the Holy Spirit, you cannot be taken unaware as a parent, or a youth! i know this because when i started dating my fiance, the Holy Spirit quickened my spirit to know what issues lay ahead, and i was able to pray right and handle the issues. It had nothing to do with what any church had set aside, it's all a function of relationship.

Telling people how to be holy, by works, the bible says we're not justified by our works, will not help them--but showing people how to befriend that one who can teach you into all truths on how to live for Him, is what we need. With what i know right now, i look forward to marriage, to children to life, because i know who i am, i've been taught right, above all i have the most important relationship that rules cannot give.

So, all the arguements on how people dress and what they watch and stuff, can be quenched once that Holy Spirit takes over a person's life.

@ Dakmanzero

They're that bad huh!! i hear you, i just got out of a math class, and i'm more confused than when i went to class 50mins ago!! but the sight of my professor is bad enough, and the mere thought of him with him clothes off-- i'll die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@ Wellborn
Oooh! Child--you're absolutely brilliant!!! i trip! where and how did you come across all that information?? i'm really impressed, i enjoyed reading EVERYTHING,

Wow!! that's really tight! another message to listen to is "No More Sheets" by Prophettess Juanita Bynum, ladies, it will help you get a clear order for your life as a woman before getting married.

@Dakmanzero and Orikinla

Hey, do you guys have pictures, i'd really like to see what you look like, cuz despite what your arguments are, they're very brilliant. So, i'd like to put a face to the writings--if it's not too much to ask.

But in truth, we all have our prices, it just depends on how you want to see it, and what the angle is, I'm a Christian and Christ still had to pay for my redemption--that's a price! so, it's not all that bad, it just so much as to what's being bought here.

I watched a movie on Saturday "Human Trafficking" i think it was the most disturbing movie i've watched in a long time, young girls of 10-14, if they were that old, kidnapped for the sex market. Young ladies of under 22 being tricked into coming to the US only to be converted to sex slaves--it was disturbing, and i'm still haunted by some of the things i saw some of them go through.

Aren't some of these aristo chics being abused by the men they choose to sleep with?? i don't get it!! i find it hard to wrap my mind around, the only thing i can do is thank God i don't have parents who'd push me into anything like that.

@Orikinla
You seem to be able to comprehend this aristoism, let's say, hypothetically, you're an aristo and you're having a relationship with girls as young as your daughter, how'd you feel? won't it be like sleeping with your own child i know things are hard, but i still can't understand why that should be an option.

I don't think all aristo chics are dumb o!! some are really smart to be able to keep all men in check and do whatever it is they do

@Chinani
On the issue of whether people are alarmed--it'll be hard to say; i would guess they are. I heard sometime back it was in the papers where even our Nigerian media had to cry out to parents to see the state of the daughters. It's growing larger everyday, and i'm sure more homes are suffering because of this phenomenon, and that's why there's so much attention to it--it's big!!!

when you're going to Nigeria, just go with the mind not to be intimidated.

It's impossible to keep quiet if you're a member of Christ Embassy, you're taught to meditate--to mutter the word, to speak your world into order, to roar as the Lion of the tribe of Judah resides in you!!! when you know who you are how can you keep quiet it's just toooo exciting to keep still and be quiet!!!! indeed we have something to shout about! yes o!! the bible says there shall be SHOUTS of rejoicing in the tabernacle of the righteous, that's why we shout and are very noisey, we're simply fulfilling scriputures!!! Glory to God!!!!!!!!!!! Halleluya!!!

Y'all better join the train--don't let rejoicing pass you by, lol, that's how you get your breakthrough, your miracles, the bibles says "rejoice, and again i say rejoice!!" you can't be silent and be rejoicing, we've got the victory, halleluya, kai!! i'm stirred up in my spirit, aaaaaah!!! i'm so excited,

Marvin Sapp is good, i've listened to that album--tight!!

Samsong lives in Lagos, and attends Christ Embassy (the last time i checked)

I love Wale Adenuga, listen to "Of A Truth" my cd has started scratching from overplay, Gbenga Adenuga's good also, i prefer his "Awimayehun" cd to "Olekoko", Femi Micah's another good one, just stumbled across his cd-- "Praise Along" over the Christmas, Sammie Okposo's good--i love his naija praise, i work out to that album, i get my naija praise on!

@ Ramono
True word!! very true!

@ Thagodfada
I don't think it's fair to compare both worlds cuz the conditions differ, but women have a choice--nobody's forcing them to date older men! it's onething if you're trying to help your family or whatever, and you see it as a means to an end (which is bad, cuz you're still wrecking another man's home), but when chics are buying into the fad of what they see on TV?? please! give me a break! when i went to Nigeria i tripped, mind you, i'm not here because my parents are swimming in money o! i pay my tuiton and stuff. On campus here, where our roads are smooth etc, we wear trainers and jeans to class, at least i do, when i have presentations and stuff i dress formally, in Nigeria girls are wearing high heels 24/7 on those bad roads!! the dress code is horrible!!! ladies showing off too much flesh, someone told me "abi that's how they dress on TV!!"

So don't say it's condition that's carrying them there, some cases yes, in most--it's oju kokoro! pure greed!! i have friends that attend college back home, i'm sure they don't have aristos! my best friend works in a primary school and goes to LASU at the same time, it can be done. Let's quit trying to blame poverty for the greed of our young ladies. Ladies need to take up some responsibility too--have some self worth.

Aaaah!! for all those doubters, no names, i'm chatting with my baby sister, and thank God for webcams, for those that asked if i've verified with my eyes--YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm at work, if not i'd be screaming all over the place!! i saw her put her hand in her mouth, stretch out her hand to a 180 degree angle, i'm happy, the song that's been on my lips this past week is "WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE FOR ME, I CANNOT TELL IT ALL, "

Please, quit trying to explain miracles, and be open to recieving one, maybe you'll just get one, Jesus said, "you have not, cuz you ask not", how will you get one if you don't believe in what you're asking for?? in our lives, if we'll be honest, we're all looking for that one area where some stroke of fate/ divine something would make a difference, and that will only ever come from Christ,

Anyone who went FGGC Sagamu between 97 and 98, and can remember and Ayoola house girl, in JS 1 who a funny right hand,

She had to go home every other weekend for physiotherapy, y'all don't want to know how much it cost us financially and emotionally, so, i'm thankful for this breakthrough! at a point, we had come to accept that her hand would be that way--and that includes my pastor brother.

She continue high school in the UK, cuz she had to have the surgery and follow of up physiotherapy. Which she was doing. She got some extension in her arm, but mind you, she could only bend extend her arm to a 45 degree angle, which was the way her arm has been since 2000. so you can get a better picture of what i'm saying, she could only lift her hand to a 45 degree angle, so if she tried to put food in her mouth her hand could only go so far, and she looked really weird, at this point the doctor said they'd done what they could, as the bone had grown over themselves, and the surgery couldn't rectify the problem.

My brother had nothing to do with it, afterall she's been living with him for 3yrs and nothing happened (my brother relocated to the UK and my sister moved in with him, before then she was with relatives who used her as househelp). My sister would be 18 in a couple of months. What i can verify is that i saw her hand in slings for months, saw her hand in the state it was in, before the miracle, for years--as i visit the UK frequently. My brother would only be excited because we all know as a family what we've had to endure seeing my sister that way, he has nothing to gain by psyching up my parents and myself, by telling us our daughter's regained full extension of her hand. My sister has nothing to gain either by deceiving herself that she now has full arm extension.

My sister calling me to tell me about her arm shouldn't be considered contradictory cuz she called me at a different time from my brother! we're sisters, and we talk--so a moment like that is just between sisters, without my brother in the background listening to girls' gist. I hope that answers your questions miracles are not what you try to explain scientifically--it can't happen, the sense cannot explain the spirit, i would know cuz i'm a science major, and i gave up a long time ago trying to make sense of man evolving from apes!!!

Ooh! my sister's not a memeber of nairaland, i doubt she's even heard about it--i never did until i stumbled across it myself!! you'll just have to take my word for it, i've got nothing to gain by lieing or promoting anything, y'all don't know me, so,

@Nwoke and Idekeson
She was 8 when it happened, i was in boarding when it happend. She'd come with the driver to pick me at the end of the semester, and i saw her arm in a sling. When i got home, i heard from my folks that she'd been struggling for the ball with her small friends that lived downstairs, and in the process she fell. They didn't think it was anything, they just assumed she'd sprained the muscle or something. But after several visits to the Ijaw people, which i personally went with her on so many occasions during the hols, the hand remained the same, by then our entire house was smelling of ori (some snake oil cream she was using). We'd taken her to igbobi and they didn't notice anything, and on further x-rays they noticed the hairline fracture, and when they offered to break the elbow and set it back my parents vehemenly refused, cuz they couldn't bear to imagine what she'd have to go through, so that's when she left for the UK. By this time, her hand had been in this state for a year plus. The incident happened in '96 (i was in SS1), and she left for the UK in '98 ,

@dakmanzero
Actually the part where you thought mickplus was contradictory was actually where he was quoting me, i had made that statement earlier.

See, an aristo, older or 50s is a guy's who's not going to marry the chic in the end, he's just using her for what he can get, it's glorified prostitution, cuz the chic's essentially selling herself for what she can get also. There's a difference if you're dating an older man, some women like older men, i like older men myself, but that's different. When it's clear that you're both dating with intents of being committed to each other, that's a relationship, but when you're both sneaking around so as not to be caught by either his wife, or his friends to whom he's not willing to introduce you to, then you know that's an aristo situation--worse off when he's passing you to them.

The excuse of poverty is just what it is--Nigerian girls want it all, they're seriously buying into hollywood, those of us who live in the States, if we would be honest, we know we're working our butts off to have a life. Girls in naija aren't doing it that way. I was home over the Christmas break, i refused to be intimidated! the clothes they wear will pay my tuition! their handsets nko to maintain that life, especially when their parents can't afford it, they need a man who's willing to pay for it. Like my mum would say "there are no free lunches." Young Nigerian guys, hustling and all aren't looking for golddiggers, and the ones they like they can't afford,

I wouldn't worry about the men, cuz it takes two to tango, if women would have some self respect and self worth, they'll not go the aristo route, you will hussle to make it, they won't die if they get jobs! there's dignity in labor. If tomorrow you become something, you'll proudly beat your chest and say i got here with my sweat, and God helping me. I don't know if there's a solution to aristoism, but if women would realize their values, they'll not settle for the highest bidder,

Ok, on the issue of aristo, please nobody should castigate me o!! i used to have an aristo, and the only reason why i had one was because i wanted to know what it was about. Mind you, this was only a function of teenage curiosity (i was 18 and he was 35 and single, but he had a kid--so aristos don't have to be old men in their 50s, they just have to be older working class men, who don't mind shelling out the cash).

I had heard girls talking about it, and i wanted to experiment--in all honesty, i didn't know what it involved. In my case we were/ are not poor, i was simply curious. The guy happened to be a friend of my family, and my folks were not suspicious cuz we didn't need anything, and i wasn't starving or anything, so i had no cause to join anything like that.

The relationship was good, when he goes out of the country he'd buy me stuff--wristwatches, nightshirts etc. When i was travelling, he'd give me pocket money, and tell me to call him if i ran out of money--which never happened as i went on those trips with my mum who'd give me pocket money also. So for me, i wasn't really worried about the aristo relationship--i didn't really see it that way. I thought i was still safe with him,

Then things started happening, i'd go to his office for lunch, and he start trying to touch me. It started as a gentle hug, then he started trying to kiss me; the first time he tried to force his tongue into my mouth, i pushed him so hard i didn't know i had that strength, and when i got home i took a long bath to wash the incident of my mind, The next time he saw me, he compensated for the incident with some money--money that i have no clue what i did with, spending on my friends, i guess

When he started asking me questions like "when are we going to have sex?" i knew it was time to face the road, and thank God i did. I didn't want the guy in that sense, although i started liking him at some point, but please i wasn't planning on producing his second child! and when i started seeing someone he got jealous and pretty pissed off.

The point of the story is, some people get into it because they're desperate, others are lead into it by peer pressure, others are just greedy. A few months after the aristo incident, my friend tried to move in on the guy, i don't know what became of their case, but as for me, i didn't want anything to do with that scenario ever again,

Aristo runs is big in Nigeria, and girls want to maintain a certain lifestyle, hence the need for aristos, even teenagers of 15 have them, yeah! it's the hight of decadence, but what's the solution i never slept with the guy don't mean every other chic would be fortunate enough to escape that situation. Just thought to share my aristo experience.

Please, aristo is not the way o!!! if a man is married, leave him alone!! i've been living alone for 4yrs now, and i work and go to school, and i don't depend on any man for support, so i'll just encourage young ladies to try and do the same thing, work won't kill you, it'll only make you stronger, and give you a sense of pride. I'm thankful i didn't follow the aristo route, and more thankful i left it when i did.

@Nwoke
Please, what's with this, i'm really confused, are you the same one as "Seun?" and "Alariwo?" dude men, it's hard to keep track of you!!! your name keeps changing, i'm guessing you will soon adopt a northern username, or you have one already

@ Nwoke
What would you like to know? i can tell you. She called me this morning, to tell me again, she got her arm fractured when she was playing soccer, she was about 8yrs old, she left for the UK to have surgery and stuff, and nothing worked, if she could be screaming and calling up the whole world to share her news, it really must be something for her to shout about, that's why i'm happy, cuz for her age, she saw too much because of that arm, from the hands of those ijaw people that were trying to force the hand to straighten, from the con lady that claimed she was specially trained in massage therapy, it's so much, i can't tell you all, but what i can tell you is, as a family we saw HELL cuz of that arm, and after 10yrs we have a miracle,

Larger_20 and 4real, thanks for rejoicing with me, as you rejoice with my family, the Lord will shower you with favor, your mouths will be filled with laughter, He will put new springs in your feet, beat down every mountain before you in Jesus name, you will walk in victory, goodness and mercy will never be far from you in Jesus name. You will burst forth in testimonies in Jesus name. I'm just so glad, cuz when the Lord turned around our captivity, as He did Zion, we were indeed like them that dreamed, and all those areas where you need a turn around, receive a turn around, even now in the name of Jesus. (Y'all are bringing tears to my eyes)

@joyalways
Aaah!! i'm based in the US, but my brother, who is a Christ Embassy pastor in Kent, called me y/day to tell me that our baby sister got healed, she's had a hairline fracture for about 11yrs, i'm in tears even as i write this, the bones had healed over each other, so she couldn't extend her arm, but at the program she got her healing, 10 years!!!! who ever doesn't believe in miracles, i don't know what to say! this is my own sister!!!! same mother and father, no one layed hands on her (tears of joy) but she was screaming at the background when i was talking to my brother this evening also, she said "my hand is straight" i'm so excited, it is indeed the set time for Zion,

I can't begin to list all the things that are happening in our lives, but i'm so excited about my sister, healed in the name of Jesus!! she didn't go to Nigeria, she was at the program in London!!!

@ Hazeleyes
Have you read or watched "No More Sheets?" aaah!!! if you have, awesome, she's got a new book out "Threshing Floor," i'm trying to get that one, but the woman is a mighty minister, she speaks truthfully, and she's a babe, lol, i totally love her make up, (I'm assuming you're a chic)

@ Zahymaka
Point duely noted, i'm half cast , my dad's Edo my mum's Urhobo, but it's the same Bendel when we go back to our roots,

@Maki
Darn!!! i ate it over the Christmas break when i came home, that thing is the bomb--y'all need to try it!
@ All the Deltans in the house--i salute o!! for the Urhobo people --"Urhobo wado!!!!!"
Abeg na who bin dey talk about ukodo? you wan make my head scatter!!!!! Ogwo dey always dey bam with yam, abeg, i go vex go African store go buy foodstuff, if na only banga i fit cook this Easter, with fish way i go fit afford, i still get one small starch for fridge--e be like im time don reach!
As for pepper soup--that's like the easiest soup to make, different tribes have different ways of making it. But for really good pepper soup you must have Efirin or Utazi--they add a special mint like flavor, i know the spices in my mother's tongue (roboje and tariko) i guess you can just go to the stores and ask for pepper soup spices--hopefully they know them, enough red (Naija) pepper, your choice of goat meat, lamb, fish or chicken. I always like to season my chicken and stuff before cooking (of course after they've been washed) season with some salt to taste, ginger and garlic, and some onion paste, if you've got any, and cook on low heat, so they can be properly marinated (add enough water so that the pot doesn't dry out) You can also add your Efirin or Utazi while your beef or whatever's cooking (i have dried efirin, so i add it early) when the beef/ chicken's becoming tender, add your spices, and leave all the ingredients to cook together for another 10-15mins, i like to leave the lead on the pot so that the flavors sit into what's been cooked. Talking about pepper soup's making me crave it now!