@ OP my advice to you if you love your husband and want to work on your marriage is the same as the gateman and your neighbour have said. STAY. Not only stay but cook something nice for dinner and both of you eat together when he gets back from work.

I know he's cheating but I wouldn't advice you leave him that early in your marriage. Unfortunately, you can never know anyone fully during courtship. You get to see them for who they truly are after marriage, living 24/7 under the same roof. Make peace for now. You don't have to apologise if you don't want to but you don't have to make war either to drive a point. After threatening to leave last night you should not have woken up this morning and packed your things. Packing your things, you were showing your husband that you don't care about your marital vows and he did the obvious, by giving you tfare, meaning if that's what you want come dey go! The fact he didn't throw you out of the house and lock the door behind him says he's just paying you back with your own coin.

I imagine your dilemma is how to deal with the cheating aspect. Let things subside for two days or more naturally, before bringing it up again. Softly tell him how the situation makes you feel (without using words like LovePeddler) and how you expect you guys to be a family especially as a baby is on the way. Let him understand you don't want to have to share your man or worry about what he is up to when you are apart. That said, give the whole thing time. At least six months to see visible change. Play your role as a loving wife and ignore some of those things he does to annoy you but at the same time keep your eyes and ears open for infidelity acts, and keep any proof, if possible. If after your child is born there is no improvement you can decide to leave, knowing you did your best to make your marriage work. Try not to exchange words or say things you might regret when angry. If you have to walk away from an heated argument, do so.

Hope you and your husband find a way to work things out as your marriage is young.

Nigerians and our hypocrisy sef!
@ OP when a person dies in such a tragic manner, let's allow them rest in peace. Your friend is late now and you have brought her gist here so people who don't know her can judge her life and choices. SMH..

WOMEN OPEN YOUR EYES! This is 2015. Most of you are educated. Marriage has to stop being most women's ultimate goal in life. If it's not working "pick your bags and run". Life is too short to be living by rules and regulations, especially if they take you nowhere.

I hope the Lady who wrote about her husband being a monster will make a wise decision. I don't want to read about your own demise in the news one day.

My two cents thought.

In two words, Selflessness and Love. Teach ur kids that. Portray that ( as kids are copycats).

I will surely walk up to them and whisper "excuse me, I think your zip is down" and walk away. There's no reason for me to be embarrassed unless I have negative thoughts on my mind. If I were in the same situation, say zip down, hand bag wide open, stain on my clothes or food on my chin, I would prefer someone was decent enough to tell me especially if we are colleagues.

Why would anyone think of spending the "rest of their lives" with someone they don't love?

As long as you both go clubbing together, No Biggie!!

When we were young (myself and my sisters), One of us will pretend to be the priest while the rest of us will line up and receive Odin biscuits in our mouth like it was holy communion.
While watching movies, if we saw any beautiful actress we immediately shouted "this is me".
And if one of us had a crush on an actor ( I totally loved Tom Cruise), the others were not allowed to like the same actor.

Lovely pictures! Congrats and Happy Married Life!

Don't see anything wrong with both pictures at all. If hubby wants to release me of physical stress why not! After all na we born the pikin together. Women work so hard at home and out of the home. A husband helping his wife, especially by backing the child, is adding more years to his wife's age by:
1. Reducing future BACK PAIN that is also a result of carrying a 5kg child for long.
2. Healthy and stress free wife means Happy home and Lots of kpekus

I see some tired women sometimes walking and carrying load while their husband is just flexing next to them, like nothing spoil! Please Women if your husband wants to help you, let him. It doesn't belittle or disrespect a Man. A man who can do that is a Man who understands the value of a Woman.

ask4slimjay:


i like dat part "how you choose"...u sound pretty smart 2 me

Thank you! I can understand the issue with the question being wrong from a Guy's perspective. A man has his Ego and pride and wants to feel he can take care of his family and wouldn't like anyone doubting that but a parent also wants to know the sort of son in law they are welcoming in.
It's a good evaluation question. How one answers is going to be a very lasting impression. And the right answer isn't necessarily in the figures or letting pride get the better of one.

IMO anybody can ask whatever question they like. If/How you choose to answer is what counts.

mutter:
No i have to write this.
She looks really mean and the young man looks so gentle and kind.

You wrote what I was thinking. I thought exactly the same looking at those pictures

Where is everyone? I guess BB has taken over miss this bubbly group. I don't have a BB. I'm on iPhone. Anyway to be in touch with you all? Wish everyone a great day!

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY EVERYONE!!

jejelady: you are mostly welcome. We are eager to welcome you to thw nairaland community too. We are fast growing and let us know if u need anytn.

Thank you so much madam jejelady for welcoming us. I will surely keep in touch. Thank you once more.

Cynthia4real: Gudevening house , hw preparations hope everythng is moving according to planned? I hv a question to ask. Does someone who has National Diploma Certificate and problably wnts to study Nursing as a proffesion in the States need to get transcript or apply for it be4 travelling ? I wnt to knw if the transcript is necessary for a National Diploma holder and wnts to study Nursing . Ur responses will be highly appreciated, tnx.

Your transcripts are always necessary no matter what you decide to do (work/study). Especially for professions where you have to register with a board, like nursing or engineering. One of the most used education evaluation service centre is WES. It's best to start the process of evaluating your transcripts in Nigeria if you can before travelling otherwise you can ask someone else to do the running around for you.

http://www.wes.org

I found the following information on their website. I hope it is useful to you and others interested in the same information as well.

Technical and Vocational Higher Education

Higher technical education is provided at technical colleges, polytechnics and colleges of education. Entry to colleges and polytechnics is based on JAMB-administered entrance examinations combined with results from secondary and vocational schools.

The National Diploma is a two-year program and grants access to Higher National Diploma programs.

The Higher National Diploma (HND) is a two-year program that typically requires one year of work experience after the National Diploma, which is required for admission. The HND is not equivalent to a university degree. HND graduates will typically take a one year postgraduate diploma certificate before applying for a master’s degree in any Nigerian university.

Colleges and specialized training institutes offer various certificates and diplomas that may be obtained after one, two or three years. The Nursing & Midwifery Council of Nigeria awards the Diploma of Midwifery after one year of theoretic and clinical postsecondary studies and the Registered Nurse Certificate after three years of postsecondary study. The Institute of Medical Laboratory Technology awards the Associate Diploma of Medical Laboratory Technology and the Fellowship Diploma on a 4+1 basis of postsecondary education.

Educational Advising: The EducationUSA Advising Centers in Abuja and Lagos under the Public Affairs Section of the United States Embassy serve over 65,000 students per year in a wide range of programs designed to strengthen student applications and their readiness for U.S. higher education. We are eager to work with U.S. institutions to help boost Nigerian enrollments within the U.S. system of higher education. Please contact the Educational Advisors, in Abuja and Lagos, and refer your Nigerian applicants to us for any assistance that we can provide. The advising centers host annual College and Career Fairs in October that attract over 3,000 participants. We would like to invite your institution to participate in our fairs. For further information on how to contact the advising centers, please use details below:

Abuja:
Jennifer Onyukwu onyukwuj@state.gov
Folashade Adebayo adebayoso@state.gov
Hamza Dalhatu hamzad@state.gov
Phone: 234-09-461-4000

Lagos:
Ifeanyi Olagbaju olagbajui@state.gov
Margaret Anyigbo anyigbom@state.gov
Phone: 07031502444

The centers would appreciate two copies each of your catalogue, view book, video and CD-ROM, mailed to:

Abuja: Educational Advisor – PAS; Department of State, 8320 Abuja Place
Washington, DC 20521-8320

Lagos: Educational Advisor – PAS; Department of State, 8300 Lagos Place
Washington, DC 20521-8300

Good evening everyone. Been away for sometime busy preparing for our trip. Arrived Dallas safely last night after 15hours trip from Europe (where We were based). Thank God the journey was stress free.
For anyone arriving Dallas/Fort Worth international airport please be prepared to spend about two hours to cross Custom and Border security. We spent three hours in all at the airport. It's a long and lengthy process for the paper works. After we got off the plane we walked to the custom check point and joined the queue for NON US CITIZENS on a visa. The queue was very long. 90% of the people were Asians and South Americans as our flight arrived at the same time with that of Qatar airways. It took about an hour for it to get to our turn. When we got to the custom officer we handed him our passports and sealed envelopes. He asked us if we are immigrating today, we said yes. He asked us to confirm our address where we will be residing which we did. Then he took our digital prints and pictures and then accompanied us to a waiting room where he asked us to wait until we were called.
We waited for about two hours before we were called. Our finger prints were taken again, this time the old fashioned way, by ink. Then we asked to sign a form writing our full names. We waited another 10 mins and then we were called again and handed our passports.
We were totally exhausted. I was even more worried for our luggage. Luckily they were all intact and waiting for us.
Please always check your passports have been stamped when the custom officers hands you your passports. We found out our passports weren't stamped on entry after we picked up our luggage at the last security post.
That's it all for now. Will try to keep up as time goes on.

cute2014: Also to the preceeding lists,u may want to add:

Bottled groundnuts,Semolina,pap,snail(fried),hair attachments like Expressions,and Medicines like antimalarials and broad spectrum antibiotics.Also Robb and/or Aboniki balm.

For those with kids:Their backpack should contain cereals(dried),powdered milk,bread(toast) with a spread,bowl,apples,cookies (u'll get hot water in the plane)and a jacket.This is necessary if the airline serves an unfamiliar food.I can just imagine the twins when they eat,whatever they've eaten and no matter how late they must still step down with Golden morn cereal.Lol!

Also; u may want to do both ur natioanl drivers' licence and the int'l driver's licence as it depends on the state u are going to.LEARN HOW TO DRIVE BEFORE TRAVELLING!!!

As for graduate school;u need to do ur transcripts,some did via WES,don't av much details as it does not apply to me.

For women; Learn how to make hair.I am taking 1-2hrs on days I'm not on call to do this as my almost 6years' old girl is so fashion conscious when it comes to hair so I nd to be able to keep up wt her and also save money.

Also don't run down ur electronic gadgets' battery down,sm1 mentioned ds but do not know why.


Yes,ur passports AND medicals MUST be in ur handbag!!!

Most impt advice I got was to save and never try to borrow,except for Mortgage as an example.Live within your budget!!!

Thanks dear especially for the tips concerning children. You couldn't have said it better. I would also suggest parents take along books, pencils, crayons or light toys, that won't be a problem at security check, to keep their little ones occupied as children tend to get bored easily.

marymary14: Due to recent threat in terrorism,the United States has put up some measures to curb it, thus they'll require every traveller to power up electronic devices eg: phones,laptops and all other devices they require.. failure to do so will result in confiscation of gadgets or deportation... as for the medication @cute2014 do we not require some form of prescription?

Yes you are right MaryMary. It's a new policy that came up some months back.

cute2014:


@Madam Dekonjay: See levels!!!Na wah o!U just did ur interview and gbam next week Thursday on BA!!!Serious cash.Safe trip IJN.

Lwkmd. Cutie 2014 na serious planning o. After waiting 15 months for interview, I wan live my American dream fast fast o. I started planning as soon as we received 2nd NL. Checked for ticket and have been eyeing that date since July as it's the cheapest...luckily the price remained the same. I was even ready to start packing our stuff in August ....How are preparations on your end? Just discovered you are a doctor. Good for you! You have got quite a challenge ahead as regards practising in the states....you have to sit for some exams I imagine if you didn't study in the states..
I'm not flying from Naija so it's easier for me and cheaper to do BA...

Adeboy007:

short and detailed, thanks so much for taking your time bringing out this.. it will goes along way..

About the CHICKEN you mention, if chicken is prohibited then other things like MAGGI NORR CHICKEN and Indomie (Chicken) will not be allowed either... thanks once again am very sure people like chijen2, Laggy, Shaddy, ewhoma, Cute, jummyspecial, etc can tell you exactly how you will package your belongings and what is necessary to be taking along with you.

thank you

I think we can carry indomie cause it's packaged and the spices are dry. I'm not sure about Maggi or Knorr cubes

marymary14: Thanks for the insight. It's such a relief...what about personal items?

For me that's the most difficult part, personal items. Mostly clothes, toiletries, school diplomas/certificates/transcript, work employment references, small items We don't want to do without.
For the clothes, the weather is not really cold now (depending on where you are headed) but I would advice to carry along some sweaters, jeans trousers and/or jackets and winter coat. These will serve also on the plane as it tends to be cold due to air conditioning. If you work in an office, I would advice a couple of your suits, as you probably don't want to spend money shopping instantly if you already have something good in your wardrobe. If you like native wear, take a couple of those too. Don't forget casual shoes, easy comfy shoes, and sneakers.
I would advice to leave passports and all important documents in your hand luggage that way you always have them at hand.

Will add more ideas later.

@ Felixfelix, I'm glad you like the idea. From what I have been able to gather you are allowed to carry foodstuff as long as they are dried. For example:


Egusi, ogbonor, Local Crayfish, Okporoko, Mangara, Dried fish, Ukazi, Oha, Ugwu ,Kuli Kuli, Fufu, Groundnut Oil, Palm Oil, Egusi, Garri, Pepper – soup condiments, Beans, Atanla (red hot chilli pepper) and many more

Make sure your Egusi is well blended dried and well wrapped.
Do not travel with wet food items. Usually, wet food stuff can contain organisms not native to the US. Chicken is prohibited because of Bird Flu and beef because of Mad Cow disease.
Palm oil is allowed but only in small quantity and should be in branded packages if possible.
Dried/smoked fish should be properly wrapped also in order to avoid unpleasant odours.

Personally, I won't be carrying any of those items as you can easily get them to buy over there ( even though they may be quite expensive or not as fresh as you may want) and luckily for me my host ( who is my aunty) says she has enough of those. Will be getting her some other gift item though.
We booked our tickets this morning. We will be flying BA next Thursday.

Anyone in the house heading to Dallas, Texas? For everyone that has had their visa issued, how are preparations going? As for me, I'm finding it hard to make up my mind on what to take along with me and what to leave behind. When you have to take only 60kg from all your personal belongings it gets really hard.
I would also like to suggest we keep this forum alive by posting our preparation and travel experience here since we lost the other thread. What do you all think about the idea?

Good morning green house. First of all I want to apologise for my late response. Taking this opportunity to thank everyone for your support and well wishes. @ cute2014, Adeboy, felixfelix, eleshinleekan, busatos, cynthia4real, diskindgod, Thank you all so much, I really appreciate.

StSteven:
Congrats bro... I was there with ♍Ɣ wife too but got delayed and was told to come bck thursday.

I am sorry about that St Steven. Does that mean you didn't get interviewed at all and you were booked for Thursday?

First of all I want to thank everyone here in this forum for their support. I want to thank God, cos he has filled my heart with joy.

It all started May 1st 2013 when I logged on the dv website and found my future husband had been selected. I was overjoyed at the result as it was the best wedding present ever. We got married May 2013. We had both played the dv lottery in October 2012 as singles even though we were engaged.


THE CHAT:
Co: Good morning Mr and Mrs Dekonjay
Us: Good morning to you Sir.
Co: You both have to raise your right hands up and answer YES or NO to the following questions.
Us: Did as we were told and took our oaths.
Co: (Addressing my husband who is the PA) Mr Dekonjay I see you moved your interview from the UK to your current country? Why is that and What did you do there?
My hubby: Explained.
Co: So tell me where and how did you meet your wife?
My Hubby: In 2010 bla bla bla.
Co: Have you ever met your wife's family? Tell me something about them?
My Hubby: talked away...
Co: (Addressing me - all the while I stood quietly at my husbands side while he answered the questions). And you Mrs Dekonjay have you ever met your husband's family? What do you know about them?
Me: Answered.
Co: do you like your mother in law?
Me: Of course , I do! ( we both laughed)
Co: I see you have both been married for a little over a year. Have you got any kids?
Us: hopefully one is on its way as we speak.
( more laughter as the Co joked about our response)
Co: Well, Mr and Mrs Dekonjay it seems everything is ok here. I have to say your visas have been approved. At that point I was already in seventh heaven and I wasn't listening anymore...

All in all the interview took less than 15mins. I just couldn't believe how smoothly it all went. The Co was nice, friendly and with a good sense of humour which made us feel at ease during our chat with him. It was a beautiful experience.

This is the day that The Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it. My family's interview was a success today! USA here I come!!

Adeboy007:

@ Dekonjay... Amen and so shall it be... you are already favored ahead that day.. God be with you

@All, am so sorry for AWOL .. its preparation that is taking alot of my time... Happy Weekend to everyone.. have a wonderful day ahead.

Thank you my brother for chipping in. We all understand why you and other members are scarce. How is preparation going? Happy weekend to you too!

felixfelix: @cyprainkosiso u ar right, here is deserted, inquiries stay alone here wit no one attending promptly to them. But yet, I couldn't rember dis name here anymore until u just asked a question.We still hv a lot to learn from adeboy. On a difft issue, I wish to let us knw dt I would be delighted to be helped to find job/ work in any State than where am heading to because since I denounced being joined wt smb else in a false marriage I seem not to enjoy d help I requested ab innitio.

It is true that this forum seems deserted but who are the people to contribute if not us. Everyone has to contribute not only by asking questions but by also giving answers. When you asked about tickets I answered. Jejelady asked you to PM her as well. I don't know how that went cos you didn't post your feed back here.
@ cypriankosiso, Bamideleniayo has answered your question concerning the yellow fever. Hopefully you will tell is how you went about it in the end.
To every green house member preparing to leave the country soon and those who are already in the states and are trying to settle down, may the good Lord guide and guard you in your new life. Amen.
@Adeboy, no one be like you!

cute2014:
Madam,how are u and ur family?Just wanted to holla u.Have a nice day and stay blessed!

Hello Dear, we are doing very well. Thanks for checking on us. Hope everyone is well at your end? How are preparations going? Our Interview is coming up on Tuesday, I pray that God fills that day with laughter and joy for my family and I as well as for st Stevens family as well.

lalove999: Good day house?

My friend that won the VISA lottery 2013 sent his form to KCC since early July, 2014 is yet to get any response or interview date.

Pls can he go 2 American embassy to lodge complain and possibly get interview date locally @ d embassy? If he can Pls do anybody know anyone he can contact @ the EMBASSY??

Pls advice on way forward

@lalove what's your friends case number? Eg DV2014AF00017***. It normally takes KCC up to two months to process documents after initial submission. Your friend should try calling KCC for any updates on his documents. The embassy won't be of help if your friend hasn't received his 2nd notification letter. He should try checking if he has been sent a 2nd NL at dvlottery.state.gov just the same way he got the 1st letter.
Best option will be to call KCC directly. We are almost at the end of the fiscal year, it would be wise to make that call ASAP.