Be expecting ups

SOME FUNNY NIGERIA SPEAKING
1.for example mummy:how is the water inside the galon is it full
Son:no it is not full it is big small

2.hey sister so you have come back from travel,,,,,,,ahh ahh you no get eyes

3.where are you going?i am going somewhere.........ahh ahh the place you they go no get name
JOKES
1.Me and my friend go bush may we go hunt animal na so i see 1 guy wey dey sheet con hold gun untop,as my friend see the guy he burst into laughter.
The guy told us to kneel down he said he is waiting for someone to bring bullet for him so he could kill us,because of my friend laughed,na so me and my kneel up till today we dey wait for the person wey go bring the bullet abeg mey we stand up tear race or mey we still wait.
2.one day my younger brother was playing around he warned him but he didn't listen as he was still playing he fell Down and injured him self,immediately he turned to me and brought out his tögue and said umpeer......for where that one they happen.
Thanks for reading

This will be my first joke to post i will be expecting your comments and corrections,i will be posting two days in a week or more than if possible thanks for reading
Be expecting ups