franchasofficia:
Since you know your problem and the solution, just try and endure and set a target for yourself and don't lose guard.


Have a backup plan in place in case she decides to file for divorce tomorrow.


Have a plan in place for worst case scenario.


As for being beautiful, that is never an excuse for her to be misbehaving. If you see my wifey, you go know say your wife na average no jokes yet she humble, loyal and coordinated pass Ngozi Okonjo Iweala lol


And my wife beauty really reflected on our kids cos me na Obasanjo twin bros

Brother well na so life be, maybe i was not just lucky on that path, she gave mw wonderful and very smart children, but the whole thing dun scatter everything, i dun endure for years, i no longer love her because the constant disregard and disrespect over time dun finish me, on my own, i cant even mend the love again. We are both cute looking couples, but not just compatible enough to be able to manage the situation.

Opanka44:
Abeg summarize this post, I don't have the stamina to read everything, haba!
Because you're in the UK, u don't understand the hunger we are facing here. How can I read this long Epistle when hunger is tearing my large intestine?

My brother, I have just read your epistle, I must say your wife is highly Disrespectful of you. She treats you with levity and disdain. No regards at all. Sir, I must say, you're sitting on a keg of gunpowder that will explode soon. Your wife is gradually drifting away from you, your marriage isn't safe anymore. She's doing all that cos she knows the U.K law supports women than Men. If u try to divorce her, u stand a chance of suffering more harm than her cos she'll be protected by the laws of the country. There's every possibility that one, if not two of these guys are fucking your wife at the moment. Why going to drop them at home? Can she swear that she hasn't entered into any of these guy's room after dropping them off? Can she swear with Amadioha?

I wont deny the fact that something may have happened between her and either of the two guys, or better still both of them. Bu tthen what can a man do if i havent gotten a concrete evidence. Someone had mentioned that i should opt for divorce, divorce is not an option at this stage of my life because of the kids, people talking about divorce in an instance like this probably dont know the importance of wonderful children that I discreetly did DNA for and they are all mine when I can try to wait until they are a little bit old and finally find my way. The raw truth is that, my madam set scatter, and she fine well, but in as much as i know that SOME/MOST women are gullible, mine is very very gugglible with all the ot she spose dun learn from me since 11 years now,, so I understand why those wolves might want to take advantage.

I have a short story as to what i think led to the see finish coming from madams friends. So one day after we both were back from work, she dey watch tv, na so i near then we started doing it, so i noticed the place was a bit opened, so i respectfully asked, bae this place seems different like its a bit wide, what could be wrong...she said she does not know. I sha run am like that cos am loyal and am not effing any woman here. 2nd day for early momo, i made move again, this time she arrogantly said no that shes not in the mood. I said no p, but i secrectly took P, cos for this town ehn, if u nor get woman na die u dey only some few are lucky to get good companion. On the long run she was talkin to me but i was paying her good attention so she freaked out and said them dey use sex collect money for bank? Me sef come talk sey i nor fit blame u na, sebi u sef dey collect out there na why u fit dey deny me sex when nor be everytime we dey nack. Omo she dropped the nagasaki/hiroshima on me. she replied saying that a broke mans dick should not even stand erect in the first place, talkless of wanting to Bleep. I am not broke here oo, i can pay my bills and feed family adequately, we share bills, but most def i as a man have to up my side up with a fair percentage, and we can still go out once in a while, shop online and all that, so where that word came from was from the pit of hell. She said i should not try to make any damn move on her again, that i body shamed her and now wanting to come nack! Sey shey me i now know sey body dey change sometimes sey maybe na why the place wide and so slippery wet, details like this isnt what am spose to be sharing and am saying here the blue truth and nothing but the truth, but am anonynous, so people can learn and share from my experience. Weeks pass, no s.x, but during that period, she dey use yansh pursue me for bed stylishly i nor dey even move, so during that time i had to go chat one of my old time ex up, madam saw the whatsapp chat on my phone, it read that, can you please remind me of our sexual past, she answered, why, i said because nothing for me here, i wan just use the memory jerk off make i cum, infact attached is the snip of the chat wey she see. Las las, she cried, i begged her and told her at least nor be sey i go Bleep outside, i did what was wrong indeed no excuse but na masturbation na him still wan end am, she went to work and discussed the matter with one of this her male friend, cos i saw the txt wey the guy talk sey make she come meet am for lounge for up sey make them talk. The story dun dey long, am just here after a long day at work trying to pour out my mind. I will continue tmr with the afforementioned episode.

I would have loved to make an intro of this post based on what people have had to say severally about bringing your wife to abroad, most especially the ones you knew must have been messing up in ways that one cant curb in Nigeria talkless of being abroad. This is a summary of whats going on with me now. So I arranged for us to move with student visa, shes the main applicant and myself and the 3 children are dependent. Its been a year and the half here now, and just 6 months into entering this country, my eye dun see shege from this woman. One thing I can actually hail and praise her for though is her delegence in taking care of the house, cook and all that. But I do my own bit too cos when shes out for work, I cook for the kids, I clean once in a while too and do what I can.

So after graduation, we got a sponsorship work VISA via the care home shes working for, though while she was a student, she was working in a daycare which was filled with white people, she always complained about how she could not cope with the white people’s culture and how she cant contribute their gist, so she was really happy that she had moved to this new place where she had met some Nigerians.

Now this is where the wahala is, she has 3 prominent friends there, 2 males and a female. So I noticed she picks up these dudes at home to work, pick the girl and do the same, then to make it worse, she will go ahead and still go drop them at home, when me dun dey house after work after taking care of the kids make I comot with car, she go come late and all that. Overtime this ish continued, so I told her one day, bae I don’t think it’s a good idea going to pick and drop this people all the time, because for the lady, her husband normally come around to pick her up and drop her off, but since them don see mugu, the guy totally stopped, so it became my madams task to run everytime they are on shift together. When I had this discussion with her, she complained that they are just friends that she may get the same help from later on, I was like am not saying you should not help, but don’t take it upon urself to be doing this all the time. All said and done she never listended to me and the deed continued to an extent that the husband of the lady had only given her money once, and maybe once from one of those guys and na me and am dey combine money to buy fuel. So it got a level where she begin dey carry food from house go give those guys, not all the time but sometimes. So yesterday jollof wey she cook, I was going to microwave in the morning to eat, I found out it was gone, I called to ask where the food was, she boldy told me that she had taken to her two male friends who told her they were hungry, I was now like why would u priortorize outsiders over your family, she sha change am sey sebi they too bring food that she eats blab la bla. And to even say that one of these dude is the one I created this thread about: the level of disrespect is unimaginable. Funny this is, after creating that above thread, a week after serious confrontation she had a feud with the guy and they stopped talking to each other, in which the guy stopped working at the place, but few days ago I got in from work and I saw that she was on call (speaker on) with this same guy, talking freely and giving me a no Give a F attitude, because I thought the only way she could have at least show me that she was remorseful was to cut permanent ties with that guy, but hell no. After her convo with the guy, she came to meet me that she hope that am not angry about her calling and talking to the guy, I was like its none of my biz, that I had important things to think about, in which it was indirect statement that I thought she would understand, omo from that day like this them dun start their friendship again,, to an extent I felt disrespected, disregarded and I started feeling theres more to what I have been thinking before. That aside, the other guy too, I noticed that one talks to her anyhow, though in a playful way. One day she came back from work and started complaining that the people that shes helping that they aren’t appreciating her, the started with the lady, that her husband does not even care again, only sent her money for fuel once, but the one that is hurting her most if the fact that this other dude that talks to her anyhow tried to implicate her at work, saying that he started yelling at her at the dinning where the old people are, that why haven’t u fed this woman, don’t u have grandma in the house, that he went as far as reporting her to one of the oldies that didn’t gave dementia that could have easily reported her to her manager which can out her work in jeopardy. I was like so have u served his sanction of not dropping and picking him again? She was like no oo, this happened last week, that shes still dropping him, I was like wow! She was like the reason is because the guy had come to prostrate to beg her, I was like how old is this dude, she said 26, and shes 36, omo I was in awe. Before any starts saying am not man enough, am a simp or weak, omo this country na were oo, he dey change SOME women. On a final note I have given her a mandate that she should stop picking or dropping anybody off at their respective homes, infact she should tell them that its my husband that said so. Story continues on the other new thread

Nice2023:
Your wife has gone deep in having affairs with that guy.

Na u dey waste time seriously.

She is deeply infatuated by the guy.

Not too surprised, cos from day one when she started indirectly talking about the guy I knew something was up, then she started being attentive to her looks, doing make up, I noticed after she started talking to the guy on phone, she stopped wearing the make up. I would not be too sure of her being too deep with the guy yet, but from the text she deleted between herself and the dude, it seems she seeks emotional and advisory support, and we all know a shoulder to lean on is a potential d..k to ride on later.

ogashman:
Op abeg finish listening to the recording and update ur post before I can give my advice

I finished listening to it and there is nothing more incriminating.

keepingmum:
Oga it rains everywhere ohh. So hold your wife close.
There are no wife materials in the abroad thats why our men come home to marry.

Also remember that there are also no wife material in the 9ja again sef.
Imagine you divorce this one and then remarry and leave the new one in 9ja? What the new iyawo might be upto in your absence??

It rains everywhere is all i am saying. Marriage is love, patience and continuous forgiveness. Forgive your wife and hold onto your vows. Remember its for better for worse?

Pay more attention to her (like your rival). See as men de pursue her even after how many children she dropped for you.

Watch war room whilst at it. Many marriages are been attacked oh. Stand in the gap for your home as the head of your family and pray the devil away. Shower her with more love, attention and money and watch her fall in love with you over again

All those things stated I do, but you know some women just want to feel a new spark when them see something they like in someone newly met. At that point theres nothing you can do about it.

LilMissFavvy:
What are you lacking that makes your wife get entangled with other men? She is working and earning money, so this is not about her golddigging. You must do something about your personality and general appearance.


There are people who had poor upbringing and they are used to talking dirty. You should not conclude that your wife is unfaithful, till you catch her red handed. The way she is flirting with the guy is totally wrong, and it's only a matter of time before she falls into temptation. When she comes back, tell her you want her to end her friendship with the guy. Don't let her know you heard the discussion in the car. Tell her you feel jealous that she went out with the guy .

There is nothing am lacking abeg, infact she feels insecure most times about my dressing and other things. And I did not say or admit that she is unfaithful to me with this dude yet. I already from the onset told her about her closeness to the dude and the bad influence shes getting from him, she said am insecure and that the guy is just a nice kind guy that everybody wants to be friends with. And why will i be telling her am jealous she went out with the dude? And its not like she went alone with the guy, she went with her female colleague also.

TheWinterBird:
First of all, why did she allow the guy to pee in your car? They were going to the movies (are you sure it wasn't just the two of them going alone?) and not an urgent appointment nor were they in a remote desert. The point is they could've stopped at a gas station or any public place with washroon, which I'm sure aren't difficult to find in the UK. Allowing him to pee in your car is just very dirty behavior, as he could've spilled some and going by the conversation (it seems he does not like you) I wouldn't be surprised if he intentionally spilled or peed a bit in your car.

Secondly, the conversation in the car is both disgusting and utterly disrespectful towards you (e.g. the guy's comment that he wanted to pee inside her mouth and his other comment that he would leave the bottle of pee in your car for you to drink, and her nonchalant responses). I reckon this isn't just innocent friendship between them, because for him to comfortably make such an explicit comment, something must've already taken place. Moreover, for him to further make such a disrespectful comment towards you, it's obvious conversations about you have taken place and that's where he gets his disrespect of/for you from.

You did the right thing installing the voice recorder or whatever it is, in your car. It seems you've really suspected that something is going for you to have done that. You're practically married to an enemy and reading your post, I feel bad for you, tbh. I wonder what you put up with in your home. You said you saw all the signs in Lagos (she was disloyal and disrespectful towards you), so carry your cross.

Am sure carrying my cross, just that I needed to let this off my mind and have some understanding people help me reason the matter. No he didnt pee in the car, he held it till they got to the movies. The urge to do it was what brought those conversations, and I knew damn well my wife had told her terrible things about me to have led to that kind of statement in the car. And lord knows, the only thing I complained about was the influence on the guy on her initiating her into gambling and the number of times they get to talk at odd hours for plenty minutes. And I knew from the onset also that all she was saying indirectly about the guy is an admonition to attraction for the dude.

chinonyinye:
Nawaa o. The only thing I can advise for now is that you should gather plenty evidence. When I mean plenty, I mean PLENTYY. In case of tomorrow. It's obvious that she's still kinda scared. She doesn't want you to find out.

Hope you have a job and everything is set for you as per you are not her dependant or anything?
But, when she gets to the stage of I don't care, wahala don enter.

Hope you have a job and everything is set for you as per you are not her dependant or anything?

Avoid anything they can use to tag you for domestic violence. If na serious quarrel, mind your words and RECORD it.

Make them no throw you out tomorrow.

She bin dun threaten to throw my load out, infact she dragged my box and tried to throw it out when we had an argument. And yes I have a job.

GOFRONT:


The guy said he wan piss for ya Madam mouth...Inside ya own car for that matter......he will soon want ya madam to give him BJ, that is if he never start to lash her yet ba!!!

Op, better thread carefully since you both are in the UK. If not, she fit just raise one false alarm ontop ya head and you would see yasef deported back home in Naija square one.

Try run a DNA test on your kids.....

Part of the reason why I have endured so many issues in this marriage is becasue I did discreet DNA test on the children and they are both mine. And thats one thing also that I consider as the most important thing I could get from her/

thesicilian:
You know your wife to be an unfaithful person.
You had a golden opportunity to leave her in Nigeria, maybe just be sending her money for her and the children's upkeep, but you missed it and instead relocated her abroad.

Its always easier said than done, I have heard this from many people. The reason why most of us are is primarily because of the kids, secondarily is us.

advanceDNA:
Very dirty behavior.... ewwww

Some guys ..una dey try oooo.. how do u put up with women like this....?

How have u managed to remain in marriage with this woman?? because u said she has always been sneaking around and upping her hiding game

All in the name of protecting the kids to the detriment of my own happiness and sanity.

caesymore:


Boom Dig_It!!!

I'm not here to make you feel good I'm gonna spell it out to you well, some of you guys think Nairaland is a correction fluid you saw the whole boldened and went on with a bold step to marry the woman, bro you go weep taya but that is the least, so many red flags... for being disloyal your wife is gone at this stage only a severe incident can bring her back something like she falling back to depend on you for support which the height of it could be financial support which you and I know will hardly happen as she has a means to it. Bro focus on those your kids whom you said are your reason for bringing her over, if you add high bp to your weeping na there you done finally killed yourself.

You know alot of us married men on this kind of table and some of us would say we are still in finished marriage becausse of the kids or probably just sojunu, comot face and focus on the kids, its not always as easy as it seems because without proper mental sanity, how can you focus on yourself and the kids? It was my initial plan, but its failing in as much as I try not to care.

Hi guys, happy new year, i have heard numerously that the biggest mistake a man can make is bringing your wife girlfriend to abroad if the woman have some certain traits.Oh well I took the risk, but the risk was taken because of my children.
My own wife had plenty issues from disloyalty, disrespect and so many other, but the major was being unfaithful. Trust me when I say that the most mentally draining situation is when you know ur woman is not loyal, but you can only have 43% clue to that effect and she keeps upgrading her carefulness every time she senses I almost caught her. Ok for good 10 years of my life, thats what I had to put up with in Lagos, now we here in the UK and same is happening.
She worked at first in an environment where it was only white people, she complained bitterly about not being able to mingle because of their culture. Eventually she got another job at a care home where numerous Nigerians where located. At first I noticed how she started being sensitive about her looks, doing make up to work and all that, selective of wigs that she wears in which she was not that type. I openly asked her one day why suddenly she started wearing make up everyday. She claimed the oyinbos there always does, and she wanted to follow suit. Not until she started coming bk home to gist about how the oyinbos there were friendly than where she previously worked, and started sighting examples on how a particular Nigerian guy is really loved by the oyinbo girls, said the oyinbos are ashawo though, that most of them tend to like the guy, some will carry his head and lay on their chest, or take the guys hand and start strolling with him, that she does not know why they like the guy so much maybe because of his height or something els and all that. Me being STREET 4 long, i quickly decoded that the gist was not about the oyinbos but the guy in question. At a point in time she stopped wearing make up, and i noticed she and the dude started talking consistently and uncontrollably after working hours.

To cut the story short, I noticed that the guy started sending my wife odds to bet, something she has never done b4, spending pounds that we are spose to use to collabo survival into betting. That was when i stepped in and questioned her that what kind of friendship are you having with someone that has initiated you into gambling. She said its not a big deal that why am i monitoring her doings, or is it that i have a problem being close to the guy, that the dude is just a nice guy that every1 wants to be friends with. Guys pay attention to your instinct if you feel something aint right with your woman. All of a sudden I noticed the dude stopped calling her at odd hours, and their convo suddenly stopped, then some days ago she told me she was going out to the movies with her friends which is her best female co worker, and that dude making 3 of them. She drove my car to go pick them both not knowing I had already spied on the car. Cut long story short, from what I heard in the spy while my madam was driving to the cinemas, the guy said he wanted to pee, my madam said pee na, he replied, inside your mouth, madam said for where, he said sebi na u sey make i pee, madam threw empty bottled water to the back for him to pee, he said 'make i pee inside this one leave am inside car mk ur husband go drink am,madam said how u sef go leave am inside car. then he continued by saying he's pee will not even be able to contain the plastic, then he started narrating how he gott stuck in the car driving one day and he was so pressed, that he had to pee in a bottle, that his penis could not even fit into the head of the bottle, that he messed his car up and had to go to the car wash to clean his car, that was where I paused the spy and could not continue, because if I listen to more and find out that this dude have been banging my woman then mayb i will buy market i can not afford. Should I muster up and continue listening? Because 4 a dude to conveniently be talking about his private part between two married women and to disrespect me in a manner from what he said about me is beyond my imagination, or maybe na me dey over-reason things.