joychioma19: if you are slim just pm me.

. I go deep, u shud pm me

kkjoy:

I tot you are a man

. I was also baffled, or it could be they are both men raising a child from a surrogate mother.

I'm in love with Deola from Etisalats' call care:

Folks,
I'm invoking the power of this forum, to collectively leverage on anything leveragable; friends, colleagues, bosses, anyone! for someone that might know somebody that knew anybody that might know her. I'd say this was love at first call.
How did I get to this point? 10:30pm on thursday night met me calling Etisalats' customer care for info on how to subscribe for their BB plans, "hello and welcome to Etisalats' bla bla blah" said the warmest most sunshine filled voice I've ever heard in the entirety of my days. A voice that belonged to one who must not have been raised amongst men but rather must have fallen off from somewhere. I finally found my voice and replied in the manliest manner I could muster "thank you and wa bla blah" said I. Thus began our 6+ minutes conversation that left me dazed and smitten. Her pleasant answers made love to my enquiries birthing an understanding that transcended any customer/service provider relationship. We vibed like friends with pending benefits. I mean she laughed at the jokes my ex said were so lame they came in crutches. How could I say no to the exciting offers and products she was offering? "Add it to my account" was all I kept saying. At one point she even had me thinking of settling down...on the couch cos I was standing while we spoke. You get the drift though.
Eventually I ran out of enquiries and she of products and packages, I sadly said goodbye knowing she couldn't give me her number over the phone as the calls were monitored by the network. Sad.
Now I want her. Who knows ours might be a story to be carried in papers and told by the moonlight, of love found in a failing nation, who knows?
I thereby call on the one million+ people on this forum, both the banned and unbanned to find her, her being a princess named Deola locked in a castle and forced to answer calls for a network with hidden data charges (sic). Tell her, her prince is here, waiting.

N/B nobody should tell her the part of me being 40 and still waiting for my Waec to clear. Joking o', mid-20s n can whip up a proper storm in bed.

But serious guys, I can see some of you dialling call care already, I need her contact bad, dis one na cupid.

Thanks

I've just found my blue pills, whew

I recently had an unusual experience.

Last week friday night saw me at home on my favorite seat; my toilet seat, scrolling leisurely through the comments section of a thread filled with fat people bashing themselves behind monikers as silly as the comments they were making. Before you ask, of course I knew they're fat, from the way they type you'll know that keyboard was being pounded on by the oily fingers of a mid-thirties adult within the weight range of a baby rhino.
A sudden knock on the door drew my attention away from the trolls I was about feeding back to reality. Turns out it was my bored dog pawing at the door probably looking for his treats. Just as suddenly, I caught a fleeting glimpse of a shadow, yes a shadow, you read me right, a shadow without a presence in my well light enclave. In the micro second it took to process what I saw, BOOM! the lights went out, total blackout I could feel the darkness on my skin. The goosebumps came first followed by that feeling of your head being gradually inflated as is common in such terror stricken moments. My first reaction was to turn on my phone light but panic saw me dropping it in the toilet instead. Well, there goes my only chance along with those new numbers I got at the club. At this point I was literally seized by fear, I mean seriously I felt a hand slither up from the bowels to grab me by my n*ts. So intense was my desire to scream that I went completely mute. It was as if my primal instincts of fight or flight met halfway leaving me a [s][/s]shitting sitting duck.
That was when the drumming began, it started softly, building up in tempo as the shadows began to dance, swaying in slow rhythmic motions toward me. I am numb now, numbed by the cold hands wrapped around me. I tried screaming again but those hands had a firm grip on my throat such that each attempt left me with less air to breathe.

But that's not what scares me, it's the fact that I don't have a phone, I hate dogs, I'm homeless and I've been off my medication for three days now.