In these few years I have spent on this terrestrial divide, I have seen how life treats men, especially in their old ages.

I have seen men work, labour, sweat throughout their youthful lives on their wives and children and I have also seen how they end up. My brother, as you are working hard to train your children and to make your wife proud, don't forget to have something for yourself for your old age. May you not be begging your children to eat in your old age. Remember, women can be jumping from one son's house to another daughter's house. Not so for men.

Can I tell you a truth? You are a stranger in that house you call yours today. That house you struggled to build is not yours. It’s for your wife and the children. Seriously!

A friend sent me a story recently. Let me quote him here: "My grandfather told me that a married man is like a tractor that builds a road, does it very nicely but when the road is completed, they bring a low loader and carry the tractor away, claiming it will spoil the road! That tractor is never allowed to step on the road it built!

"Same is the case of we married men. We deny ourselves, get loans, wear used clothes, etc, to see our children through high schools, universities, etc. because we believe that the only gift we can give them is quality education. When they are old enough, the fathers often become dispensable. The attention of the children shift to their mothers. May be these mothers poison their minds against their fathers, who knows? You hear a typical mother use languages like ...

"If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have gone to school.
"I sold all my gold, trinkets, wrappers to send you to school.
"Your father was only interested in alcohol and women while I suffered to pay your fees!"
(Now the tractor that built the road is being carried away!)

"Once the child starts working, father could have retired. When he come visiting his parents, the poor father is given N5k in front of the mother, while the mother pulls him to the kitchen to collect 50 times what father got... and the father doesn't know what mother got!

"Once the child drives off, the father is told to bring money from his pittance to buy this and that, buy sugar to prepare Lipton unless he wants to drink sugarless tea! These are some of the reasons men die early!

"A mother flies abroad to visit her children or go do Omorgwo while the father sits at home, buying and eating bread and ewa agonyin every morning! After six months abroad, she returns home fresh to meet father licking palm oil in ewa agonyin!"
Old age could be very lonely and agonising for men who did not plan for it. May you not become a liability on your children in your old age. May your children not wish you early death when they can't manage you again in your old age.

To live a happy old age,
* Build your own house where you will live in your old age
* Build businesses, preferably properties, that will feed you in your old age
* Create conveniences, start learning things that will engage you in your old age
* Build friendship and goodwill that will serve you in your old age
* Right now, start to be relevant in your Church, community so you could be reckoned with in your old age

Old age could be lonely. An old age without money in your pocket is a slow, agonising death sentence!

Be warned. Take action NOW...!

Source: By Bola Adewara, editor www.elifeonline.net

Our minds have been conditioned to believe in consulting friends, seeking the opinions of others, and checking what the majority say before making up our minds on issues.

It is usual to think that in the multitude of opinions, there is the voice and decision of God. For so many of us, this has become a kind of aphorism: majority carry the vote. The voice of the people is the voice of God. No sir. The voice of the people or the voice of the majority is not always the voice of God. The voice of God is the voice of God. God does not work by majority. God does not need the consensus of anybody or the majority to do anything in your life. He is God!

There are so many instances in the Bible to substantiate the fact that you don't need any majority opinion before taking decisions. My friend, know God for yourself, hear God right and stay with God. No wonder, the wise ones have said... 'one with God is in majority.'

Now, permit me to cite three examples from the Bible to prove that you don't need any majority opinion to hold your ground. Just be sure you know what the good book says.

JOSHUA AND CALEB
When Moses sent out 12 men to spy out the land, 10 people returned with negative reports and only two gave a different report. Eighty-three per cent said no, we cannot take the land, we are like grasshoppers in our sight and so we are in their sight, while just sixteen per cent said we are able to get the land.
The people in the wilderness went with the majority. Fear came upon them and God got angry. As a result, the entire nation was made to wander in the desert for 40 years, until almost the entire generation of men had died except the two who gave the positive report. At the end of the day, the majority was wrong. My friend, be careful with the idea of majority!

PAUL'S VOYAGE TO ITALY
Another example is in the New Testament: Paul’s voyage to Italy. To make the journey, the majority involved in the voyage had agreed that the journey would be smooth, against the prevailing situation on high sea. Only Paul, the most illiterate concerning sailing, disagreed. Why?

Source: By Bola Adewara https://elifeonline.net/majority/[b][/b]

Recently, making an unscheduled visit to a friend, I met the couple having a heated argument. I almost turned back to allow them sort themselves out but the heat of their altercation necessitated my intervention. If I had left, there was a great likelihood that it could degenerate to the man hitting his wife. What happened?

The man was speaking to his daughter to study hard for the forthcoming university entrance examination called JAMB and the wife said, “You are now advising Tinuke to pass JAMB. When we asked you for money to buy the JAMB form, you nearly brought the roof down. Now you are talking as if you have any moral right to talk JAMB”

My friend was angry. He felt his wife was rubbing it in because he couldn’t pay for the form when it was out. One thing led to the other… and the wife retorted that … “You are not the only one paying the school fees, as you are paying, I am also paying. There is nothing you do solely in this house. It has been 50-50, if not 70 from me and 30 from you.”

It was too much for my friend’s ego. His ego was bruised, in fact battered! Like some men would do when confronted with facts and figures and couldn’t match the salvos from the women, he was ready to hit her!

WIVES, BE CAREFUL WITH THE EGOS OF YOUR HUSBANDS
Hello wives, when you contribute to your homes, when you assist your husbands, it’s not enough grounds to disrespect them or injure their egos. You can do anything to your husbands, but don’t injure their egos as the head. The biggest thing every man requires of his wife is not food or sex. RESPECT! You can show him facts and figures, but with wisdom!

When I succeeded in taking my friend out of the scene to my library, where we sat over some bottles of wine and Nkwobi, (which he could barely eat because he was still hurting from the bruises on his ego), I shared some basic truths with him:

BEING A MAN
“I have come to know that if you have to be the man of the house, there are some basic responsibilities that are STRICTLY yours. These are:
1. Accommodation
2. Education
3. Feeding

My man, under no circumstance must you look up to your wife to perform these responsibilities.

“Now, don’t misunderstand me. I am not saying that women should not contribute or help. So many times the husband is unable to do much, may be because he is out of employment or cash strapped. If the wife comes in to help, as she should, she is only helping. The husband should grateful to her. It is not her duty to feed him or pay school fees or buy JAMB form.

“Going back to the basics, the man saw this woman somewhere and invited her to be his wife! One of the things every man would say to make a woman accept to marry him is… “I will and I am able to take care of you. He made her leave her father’s house to his house. He made her drop her father’s name to bear his name. She therefore becomes his responsibility. As the head and owner of the new home bearing your name, Wake up! my man, to your responsibilities!

Source:
https://elifeonline.net/to-protect-your-ego/