PenAndPaper:
Op, can I have your CV so I can upgrade it for you? I write for a living (resumes most of the time) and I feel this could increase your chances when looking for a job.
Please PM me so I can give you the email to send your CV to.

I would also love to help when someone has verified your story.

Regards

Thank you so much Sir/Ma. I will send you a PM right away.

Thank you once again- God bless.

Pidggin:


Okay, I was thinking you can put the child in a free school for now until things improve financially for you.

Have you tried teaching or organizing after school lessons?

Yes,i made an arrangement with a particular (teacher)friend of mine,as regards taking some of his Students some after-school subjects (English Civic Studies and Economics),but we are yet to have that kick-started,as he explained sometime last week, that he was still very much on it.

Thank you ma.

salsera:


What's your wife doing to bring in funds
If she's not working then pull your daughter out of school. She's 2years old its not necessary.
Is she also sourcing funds or are you doing this solo.

My questions maybe intrusive but its necessary.

Cos you're doing labourer work so that's like day rate 2500

Jobs are scarce and you're competing with recent grads too. Take it from me I've been on this 2years plus.

Dig deep and pull out other talents you have.
You write well so consider proofreading. article writing, research, project work. It may pay 5000 or less but that's more than your day labourer work.

You need different hustles because you are servicing loans here. So combine all you have.

Thank you very much ma'am. Your questions are not intrusive,but probing,which i see as part of you being concerned.

Wifey is doing all she can in her own little capacity. Being a seamstress,most of the projects(that don't come regularly) she gets,are where she gets little proceeds from,which she judiciously makes use of, for the upkeep and support of the family.

I will go with some of your advice ma'am. Thank you

Pidggin:
So you pay N25K for your two year old child's school fees?

About to ma'am. It wasn't up to this during the previous terms.

I have all the payment receipts,invoices and all that readily available for confirmation too.

Thanks ma!

mysticgal:
I would love to make some observations please ,
If your child's school fees is 25 thousand naira, why not register him at an affordable school. Cut your coat according to your cloth. Mind you, I said if the school fee is 25k,but if it is an accumulated school fee debt, then no problem.
And please, I think a verification of the op should made for further help.
Thanks

Thank you ma'am. It was previously not up to that amount. The upgrade happened at the end of the past term.
Already thinking along that direction(school swapping) too,but it will only be wise to do,before a new session commences.
Thanks ma

uwemjack:


A baby learning to work can fall down over a 100 times! But he keeps trying, eventually he learns to walks.

A grown man who has learnt how to walk and has perfected the act of walking, still misteps and falls down once in a while, but he never stays down he stands backup, dusts himself and keeps walking.

Challenges comes to all of us in varying degrees, but whatever the degree of your challenge you have enough capacity to manage and overcome it.

Don't give up on yourself! Don't give up on your kid!

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

I have a site am managing and I can guarantee you 12,000 per week Monday to Friday and half day on Saturday as a labourer. With opportunity to earn more If your interested.

NEVER GIVE UP

Thank you sir for your golden words. I appreciate your proposition more . Tomorrow being a Monday,can i come over to start sir?
Thank you sir.

PS: I am in Lagos sir.

jashar:
your grammatical use of English is too good for you to end your life.

Thank you very much ma'am. Based on the encouragement and words of advice from each and every one on this thread,i have decided to make a recant(informally tho'), and also apologise to all concerned,passively or otherwise.

Thank you once again.

salsera:
Still doubt this


Need time trusted member to verify.

Provide details
Finance bank
Children's school are the kids in school cos this session is already half way through.
Construction job...where is it?

Provide details of these without revealing their names. Then when a reputable person offers to verify you can provide your name bia PM.

Thank you very much ma. I fully understand the points you have raised. However,I would like to answer and make some clarifications as regards some of the questions you raised.


Finance Bank - It is not a bank,but a consumer finance firm for soft and personal loans. Their head office,which is the only office I have been to severally,is located on Bishop Aboyade Cole street,off Ademola Adetokunboh,Victoria Island. They occupy an office space on the second floor.

Children's School Fees : I have a 2year old kid,and they vacated(2nd Term) a week before the Easter celebrations. They have a 2 week break,and will resume on the 11th of April,which is next week Monday.

Construction Job: Actually it is not a construction job,but a menial job on a construction site(building). It is located around Seliat.


I am very much available for the verification exercise.

Thank you once again.

thorpido:
If you are doing the bolded above,then you are not lazy but indeed you need help from what you have written.
You are a family man and I understand how tough it can be.Nevertheless,suicide is not the solution.You will be passing the burden on your wife which will not be fair on her and your son.
Siena has offered to help and i'm willing to contribute too and I'm sure there are others that will be willing to chip in something when your case is verified.
You say you stay at Egbeda,that's along my path so I could check you out if you're ready.

I have outlined the most pressing needs sir. Also,will you still be coming over,so I can PM you my address and direction sir?

Thank you very much sir.

Breadfruit:
Pending when all these would be resolved, I suggest you meet the branch manager of the bank where you took the loan.
Make him understand you are making efforts to pay up. Atleast, you were not defaulting till you lost your job.

2. If anything happens to you, it won't be written off. Rather your next of kin would take the fall....

List the debts as was suggested to you earlier....

Thank you very much sir. I have just outlined the financial obligations. The said Financial institution is not a Bank sir,but a consumer finance firm. Prior to yesterday's incident,I had always called to give them updates about my situation.

Thank you sir

I will like to thank everybody that has viewed,read and dropped comments on this thread. It was a really disappointing decision,to have even nursed the idea of suicide. I regret my line of thought,and I apologise to everybody(including my family members),for even daring to go that way.

The comments here have given me a positive outlook on life and also,they have changed my perception about the dark days. The most important lesson I have learnt here is 'when there's life,there is hope'.

Thank you all for the kind gestures and encouragement.

Also,the need for a good/stable job cannot be over emphasized. I look forward to starting a new chapter in my life,with the much needed push and counselling, I have been able to garner from the wonderful people of NL. Truly, solace could be found in the least expected way,place and form!

As advised by some of the members of NL(SIENA,THORPIDO,MYSTICGAL),I have broken down the immediate needs and financial obligations. Please find below.

Loan Repayment : 18,000/Month (9 months remaining,due to default in repayment n interest) = 162,000
Kid's school Fees. = 25,000
Food stuffs,Utility bills etc. = 20,000
Rent Balance. = 30,000


TOTAL : 237,000



I am still very much available for crosschecking,verifying and confirmation too.

Thank you and God bless and keep us all.

Winneygirl:
I would also recommend that you seek opportunities outside Lagos.
Some locations are not as fast-paced and the cost of living is not as high.

You could get a job that 'seemingly' doesn't pay very high, but becos the cost of living in your location is not too high, you would be able to get by.

You can send me a PM and I will drop you an email you can forward your cv to.
You should also dust up your cv so that it is tailored to the job you are applying for, instead of having a general purpose cv.

Thank you very much ma'am. I do appreciate your words of advice. As it is,I am willing to move out of Lagos,as long as I can get a paid employment,and have something(funds) sent back home at the end of the month.

Thanks once again ma'am. Would do you a PM right away too.

LeJeun3:


Sorry I might come across to you as too harsh. But I was wondering why you didn't come to Nairaland to ask for help before but came to tell us you are going to kill urself??

Ironic you know...

You are right and not harsh sir. But the reason I never came on NL to seek for help was due to the fact that i had always believed it was a phase,which would pass over,and i never, until yesterday, ever thought of ending it all.

LewsTherin:
It's so sad how you have gone through so much pain and suffering with no help from anyone. It's so sad you have suffered so much that you think the only way is to end your life. It's so sad that you love your family so much and cannot provide for them. It's so sad you love your wife so much you want to condemn her to being a widow. It's so sad your family have refused to help you but will very easily condemn your wife to pain, shame and hopelessness with you dead. It's so sad you want to condemn your son to a life of abject poverty he may never get out of. It's so sad you want to remove any chance of your getting out of this mess by putting an end to it yourself.



But ayway, it's even sadder that I don't really believe your story.

Thank you very much sir for reading and commenting. I understand your scepticism about this, however,why would I be willing to be contacted and have my story verified,if it was all a farce?

May you never experience a fraction of what I am going through sir.

Thank you

mysticgal:

Do you want to work at a bank? I think fidelity bank, skye bank and union bank are collecting c's, check it out here,
https://www.nairaland.com/3016401/banking-jobs
I am willing to help

Yes ma'am,I wouldn't mind working with a Bank. Will submit my CV on there right away.

Thank you very much ma'am. May God bless you wonderfully.

C V sent. Thanks ma.

thorpido:
If you are doing the bolded above,then you are not lazy but indeed you need help from what you have written.
You are a family man and I understand how tough it can be.Nevertheless,suicide is not the solution.You will be passing the burden on your wife which will not be fair on her and your son.

Siena has offered to help and i'm willing to contribute too and I'm sure there are others that will be willing to chip in something when your case is verified.
You say you stay at Egbeda,that's along my path so I could check you out if you're ready.

A good morning to you sir. Yes,at the bolded,that is what I have been doing for some time sir. I am available and ready to be checked out at your convenience too.

Thank you for your kind gesture sir.

favoured234:
I am not the type that goes all spiritual but for this time, I will tell you to rely wholly on God.. Pray all you can, convert your starvation to fasting
Death is not a sure way out....
Maybe it would have been more honorable if you cried out on NL for food or money than to say you want to attempt suicide...

I have seen very rich men crash and very poor men grow so keep hope alive

Thank you very much ma'am for your words. The truth is,this was meant to be a note and not in any way written to draw sympathy nor empathy. However,the words,advice,suggestions and gestures i have seen so far,are way too moving and comforting.

If it was about food and money alone,I would NEVER have had any suicidal thoughts running on my mind. But it's a whole lot more worse than those.

Thanks once again for your suggestion.

GENIUS18:
I think there are some menial jobs that could fetch up to 3000-5000 Naira daily. I embarked on a project recently and I know how much I had paid the labourers. Don't be a coward by leaving your family to suffer, when you can still fix the problem. Forget the past glory, focus on fixing the present, for a better future.

Thank you for the advice sir. I will look around for something better(perhaps),however,if that particular project is still on,then I wouldn't mind coming on board sir.

Thank you sir

mysticgal:
Op, please could you do as the Mr siena says, list your debts then total it, so that willing people could help

Thank you ma'am, will do just that in the course of the day.

Yomieluv:
This is serious.
You said you had sought help from over 260contacts on your phones,yet no good responses.

It might sound funny,why not seek a spiritual help from your pastor,or Imam.

And please don't commit suicide,suicide is for cowards.

If you see,or hear other people's tribulation,you will thank God.

Winners don't quit.

Thank you sir for your time and words.

Agbaletu:
I think it would have been better to seek help than to end your life.
Ask for job
Ask for your debt to be taken care of.

Let me tell you this, if you end your life now God will not forgive you. Your wife will be in trouble and when your son grows up he will never forgives you. Your son will spit on your grave.

Thank you sir. I really appreciate you taking time out to chip in words of encouragement and advice.

Between 1st January 2016 and 1st of April 2016,I had called and sought help from over 260 contacts,connections and acquaintances sir,and the responses have all been alike (No problem bro,I haven't forgotten you).

I understand i might have to try harder,but sir,atimes,when there doesn't seem to be a glimmer of hope,then the only other option would be a permanent,lasting,rest!

Thank you sir once again. I do appreciate you and every other person that has viewed,read,and contributed one way or the other. May you never have 'larger than life' issues.

IdisuleOurOwn:



Don't tell you can't boast of #100 when they are menial works out there. Have you tried/try working as a labourer for a bricklayer? Just for the time been, to cater for your family.


Have you seek for financial assistance from families and friends?


Did you seek for advice from your pastor?

Yes sir,I work(menial) at a construction site,somewhere around Seliat Bus/stop. I resume around 8am,and I leave 4/5pm sir. I lift Mixed cement and fetch water with the other construction workers. Even tho',the Site Engineer feels really awkward anytime he sees me on the site,with the pan on my head.

What I get there is not enough to get food items,toiletries,utility bills etc(saving becomes a luxury),but it is way better than being at home all day,with bills mounting.

My siblings are the 'don't worry,I will assist' kind.
Same with my Pastor. But I really can't hasten or blame anybody for my woes or predicament!

akinloluwao:
I have experienced much more difficult situation. If I tell you my story you will cry on my behalf. Guess what? I came out stronger and better. I still have challenges here and there but my God is bigger than all my problems. I rather trust in Him. If u kill yourself now, will u also kill yourself when you get to hell? God forbid. Just be strong. You are coming out a better person.

God bless you sir and every other person that has shown concern in a way or the other on this particular issue.

Thank you sir

Siena:
Brother, my heart goes out to you.

But...I feel what you propose to do is NOT going to make things easier for your young family. This is Nigeria, where creditors can chase your next of kin for a debt. Don't do this to your family, rom what you're proposing, there is no going back.

Make a list of your immediate debts, in order of priority, and give the total. I am willing to help, and I'm sure the good people of Nairaland will chip in. Of course there will be some verification details to take care of, but first things first.

This just brought tears to my eyes. Sir, I am available for any form of verification to be done. May you find God's favour in all you lay your hands on sir.

akinloluwao:
You are a coward. You are not fit to be called a husband and a father. Now you want to commit suicide and leave your wife and son to face this situation alone? I am very sorry for you bro. Though times don't last, only tough people do. These challenges will soon pass away.

Now you have to set your priorities right. Any time you have little challenges, face it like a man that you are. You are suppose to lighten the burden of your family, not to add more to their problems.

Just talk to yourself and man up.

You are coming out with testimonies.

Thank you sir. But for me to have resolved to such, then it shows i have done and tried all that is possible from my end. I might sound like a coward,but really,I pray you don't experience anything of such,as you might have to re-define who a coward is.

IdisuleOurOwn:
Hello!


There are some certain things I'd need to know about you before I start, which are;

where do you live? Your environment matters a lot in this case of yours. Talking about can't boast of 100 naira at the age of 32.


Are you religious?
Try visiting your pastor/ parish priest or Imam for advise/counselling?


What are your qualifications?

Thank you very much sir.

I live in Lagos state,Egbeda precisely. I am a Christian.

I am a graduate of Economics,and i have done some Courses,Trainings and Programs too.

mysticgal:

Now op, what do you want, specifically, say it.

I just feel i have to end it all,and I feel my birthday would be a perfect time for such(shameful and painful tho')!

Femich18:
Xo sorry about all that have happened. But to be frank with you killing yourself is not the solution. Why take a life that you can't create. FYI there are thousands of people are passing through hell and they have never for once have that kind of thought. Please we are all passing through ours, but the difference is that we are not giving up. Never give up in life and success will smile on you.
Finally, Your baby needs you more than what you cant imagine and please keep the struggle on and definitely there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Shalom

Thank you very much sir. The truth is,certain things hurt more than a knife-cut. I have tried, reasoned and remained hopeful,but believe me,it gets really harder by the day. God knows i have done everything humanely possible(from my end),to end this strife,but NO,it's not working,the situation gets extremely critical by the hour.

Thank you sir once again

mysticgal:
Hey op, my heart goes out to you, but do you think committing suicide wouldn't make your wife cry and sad? Now a question I'll ask, is if you love your wife? because if you do, you'll rather fight life and smoothen the roughened edges and tops.
Don't be a coward, if not for yourself, fight for that kid and his mother , knowing that, at least that there is a backbone, supporting and working for them.

mysticgal:
Hey op, my heart goes out to you, but do you think committing suicide wouldn't make your wife cry and sad? Now a question I'll ask, is if you love your wife? because if you do, you'll rather fight life and smoothen the roughened edges and tops.
Don't be a coward, if not for yourself, fight for that kid and his mother , knowing that, at least that there is a backbone, supporting and working for them.

mysticgal:
Hey op, my heart goes out to you, but do you think committing suicide wouldn't make your wife cry and sad? Now a question I'll ask, is if you love your wife? because if you do, you'll rather fight life and smoothen the roughened edges and tops.
Don't be a coward, if not for yourself, fight for that kid and his mother , knowing that, at least that there is a backbone, supporting and working for them.

Thank you very much ma,but at age 34(in a few days), it really hurts to know i can't boast of 100NGN(one hundred) in my account!!!

I really love my family,and would rather be dead than see them suffer for a day. I can't stand it. It gets really worse when people start distancing theirselves from you ,not picking up your calls etc,because they presume your calls come with a request.

It is shameful and hurtful. I will rather be selfish,and end it all,than being 'generous',with nothing to show for it.

Thanks once again ma.

Hello all. Been a guest on NL for years,but based on recent happenings and goings-on in my life,I have decided to do a parting-shot-kinda note.

Straight to the point!
I lost my job with an MNC sometime in May 2015,due to 'restructuring'. Slightly before the down-sizing happened,I got a soft loan from one of the financial institutions,which I had been servicing monthly.

Since May 2015,my life has NOT been the same. I Attended series of interviews,but nothing was forthcoming. Eventually,around September 2015, I got a job with a firm(with a staff strength of 4people). For the 3 months i worked,I was not paid a dime,as the CEO kept giving one excuse or the other,which meant I was transporting to n fro from the little proceeds from wife's income(seamstress),and the little hustlings i could get around.

I have been doing some menial jobs since January 2016,but they haven't been able to take care of the family's pressing needs. I have a 2year old baby,and it's really been tough providing his needs. I go days without food,just to have enough to get baby's needs.

All the while,the loan I was servicing had to stop,as there was no constant flow of income any longer,and the savings I had,had to go for rent,utility bills etc.

Just today,I had an interview,and while I was there, my wife called me and told me my Creditors were at home,causing a scene within the compound(because I had not paid for 2months). This is coming on the heels of me, constantly keeping in touch and updating the account officer about my job status.

I was disorientated and confused when my wife called to inform me. Got back home and met her(wife), crying and feeling highly downtrodden.

I thought about the whole thing, and I could only think about Death as a succour. And Since my Birthday will be coming up in a few days,I have decided to end it all on that very day.

I have never,until now felt this whole suicide urge come over me!!!

It's a shame,' am aware, but I apologise to my wife,my family and most especially,my baby,for not waiting for him to know me proper,before I ended it. I always want the best for my family,and since I cannot provide it any further,I would rather do the honourable thing. I seek for God's forgiveness over my decision,sins and soul.


Adieu