nonsense

Two people ran out of that truck. Check well....
Look by the right. Dont look at the hilux van. Just look at the right by the bush.
Im an investigative artist. I see things by reverse engineering them. I solve puzzles for a living.

Airtel has just played a fast one on GLO after the latter increased its blackberry plan from #1000 to #1400.
Airtel has launched a standard plan for all devices 3GB for #1000.
Good one. All android users will start disposing of their glo sims now because it is now becoming useless.
With airtel, you do not need any phone tweaking or MTK configuring. I think it is better. What do Nairalanders think?

Lalasticlala.

Wey my fuel and matches

what are u guys talking about?all of you have local moms. this is wat my mom will say.

Endie if u don't come here, i wont add flakes to ur chicken.

If you dont pass ur test, i'll reduce your pocket money to #2000...

I LOVE MA MOMIE....muah

its either the OP is deaf or he is half deaf

DIFFERENT KINDS OF POST UME HUMAN BEINGS(FEMALES) YOU'LL FIND IN UNIPORT THIS PERIOD.

1. THE OGBOLOGBOS.
These ones have okpolo(open) eyes....They have been in Uniport for donkeys years and they never get admitted. They hv gone through basic, certificate over n over again and their academic fruitlessness are now romancing with futile academic stagnancy. They knw virtually everything about Uniport...u just can't deceive dem BUT they dnt hv the Sacrosanct identity called "MATRIC NUMBER".

2. D'YOUNG SHALL GROW.
Hmm these ones have secondary school written all over their naive physiognomies. Their hairdo is either a "lowcut" or "that poff poff thing".They have "Puberty" written all over their frontal and posterior contours. They r still trying 2 acclimatize with the university system...They just walk sheepishly around d school with JambPastQ in their phalanges & Sandals on their feet and admire "Unique students"...in their minds they'r like....."chai...wen am i gona wear dat skirt oo.....chai see dat girl's hair...e no fine...e fine....e no fine....e fine.....e no long.....e long............ah ah watapiiiiiiiiiin?

3. D' BOLOS.
Hmmm these ones are modernized "odes"....they don't knw anything and they will never ask Questions.......u'll see them in choba campus looking for ICTC building....u'll see dem at abuja campus looking for U&C bank....and they'll never ask questions.
They end up falling prey into d hands of uniport scavengars.....
.Bolos be wise "always ask questions".

4. TUTORIAL MUMUS.
These ones circumnavigate from one tutorial class to the other instead of sitting down ti read their JambPastQ. They are specialists at wasting money.
hey! mumu go and read on your own.
Anything u didnt knw before now is gone. stick with wat u already knw and dnt get ur cranial cavity more complicated.

5. PRAYER WARRIORS.
Hmmmm.....these ones are suffering from spiritocratic olodoism and apostolic prostitutionism. They are scalar quantities that go for all church programs with just one prayer point...."Admis
sion".
More often than not; they usually end up in brother felix or brother prosper's room and the upward and downward motionism is instigated powerfully.

6. THE LOOKU LOOKU GALS.
These ones have the talent of lookery. They will look at you until u feel like subliming.They'r mostly beautiful tho.. Earlier today, a postume lady accosted me...oh! my gush...I revere her for her unprecedented guts...She said hi..(with a sweet dovey sonorous voice) I am Tricia a postUme student. Are you free? can u show me around??i'm kinda new here. For few seconds, I was lost...it was unfathomable and mehn she was damn beauteous. In my mind I was like; Wat if I was a "badt guy"?? as the thought was running through my mind, she broke in and said dnt worry...my spirit said I shud trust you....I fear small sha o ....buh I really enjoyed the company...twas really extraordinaré.

7. OYA SHAKE BODY GALS.
Hmmm these ones eh... body just dey sweet dem....they hv no idea wat they came for. They just paint their fish eyes and lips, looking like onitsha masquerades...
They just walk to and fro the campus community, with their accentuated anatomical gluteal contours and edges, shaking their behinds in a ruthless mannerism and impulsively craving the testeronal indulgence of the sons of men.
They just want to have a Uniport boyfriend by fire, by yansh, by force.
UNA GO GET BELLE OOOOO.......


TO BE CONTINUED..........
Goodluck with ur exams all the same. You are all welcome.. but be careful, dem dey borrow person penis and vagina 4 dis jungle o............SHINE YA EYESSSSSSS!!!!

ON THE NIGHT I PROPOSED TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

.......saturday,June 24,2017. @ 19:45
@Newcastle Pavillon...Lagos Ikeja.

(The climate was torrential and d planet was bestowed gratitiously with a full moon.The galaxy was so encapsulative and the environ was snuggingly cozy coupled with a romantic astronomy).

I was dressed in a cardigan over d shirt she bought for me 2 weeks ago n a pair of jean trousers.....n of course smelling versace as usual.
She was looking so stunning on her orange dress.Her hair fell perfectly on her neck, her piercing eyes penetrating into d sarcomere of my heart&soul, her nose artistically aquiline, her alluringly soft lips so hypnotizing,her countenance so charismatically titillating and her physiognomy was so enchanting.

(Across d table)

ME: You look so beauteously gorgeous in dah
dress.
HER: (flattered)....hmm.....fenk you. U look good too
(saying it surreptitiously)
ME: (rolling ma eyes....of course i look good)...
thank you for d 'insult'.
HER: (giggling and chuckling) hehehe ....no nah..(covers
her mouth) u'v started again.....go joor.(wit a
smile on her face)
(we chatted for a while....she was just laughing blatantly...and instantaneously, we were greeted with an auspicious silence.
We stared at each other, d chemistry was electromagical....the moment was like a romantic parabola,eclipse of love it was..........then i broke the silence).

ME: I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
When I met you,I met my destiny.My one true love,You'll always be.If you feel the same,And I truly hope you do,There's something very important,
That I want to ask of you.
Instead of "you" and "I,"
Let's become "we."
I'm asking you to share my life.
(She just kept staring,sublimed to d realm of celestial ecstacy....she was breathless and it was apparent).
All that I am,All that I do,All that I have
Is wrapped up in you.
All of our future,All we can be,
Rests on this precious moment..
(I bring out a diamond ring)
Sweetlove....i want you to grant me the privilege of being the father of your kids...
I want to be your husband
Will you marry me?
(she was enveloped with awedness as tears roll down her cheek....she was trying to catch her breathe.....
and when she did; she responded to my request..)
HER: Sweetlove...i bless the day we first met...i love ur words,it keeps me going.i love the fact that you dnt just tell me how much u love me
but u back ur words with actions.I'm stupefied by such a privilege to be ur wife (with such great smile n tear drops that encapsulated her pretty face she said) NO I WON'T MARRY YOU.

(THE END).

Hahahaha................anti-climax.......hehehe.
oh!i love literature. Everything is possible when u'r a writer. have a lovely day ppl bye. 07038595966

The putridity of d educational sector in d country is so unbecoming.
The spate at which Nigerians speak wrong English at Automated Teller Machine(ATM) Points is redundantly malodorous.
I have been to all the 6 geopolitical zones in d country and I shake my head in dismay whenever I am at the ATM points.They all seem to be culpable.
U are frustratingly queuing under d scorching sun and one 'advanced gorilla' walks up to you saying...
" Bros bros....who is the last person? are u the last person"
Whenever i hear this, i feel like vomiting..it is so annoying.
Yesterday, a big breasted fat lady walked up to me (holding yoghurt and eggroll) touched me from behind..."just as Jesus was touched by d woman with d issue of blood" saying.....
" Bros bros...are U d last person?"..I almost replied her with a "fat slap"
Why hasn't any advanced gorilla seen this statement as a misnormer or an anomaly?
Why should the Last person be asking for "the last person"
I replied d big breasted fat lady...."Hey woman U are d last person..cos u'r just coming...are U trying to ask for the "LAST BUT ONE" or the "PENULTIMATE" person?? I said this and everyone bursted into blatant laughter....
I did my transaction n walked away....Whether they like it or not; They'v all learnt something new.

I was with a lady few mins ago and oh hail mary! her breathe was so inconducive for a conversation.
chai chai chai ....dah was a total turn off.
ladies wash ur mouth at least 3rice daily...before u fink of winning my heart...
if u have a stinking 'verbal machine', they'r z no way any meaningful verbiage can proceed thence from.
anything u say is a sin...
u can't be oblivious of d fact dat neatness is next to godliness. #wataday#

Chai GOD if my future in dis world is to be poor,
send ur fire now...let me die by thunder now now.
egooooooo[b][/b]

welcome.sai baba

make dem pay everybody once na......... mtchew...shell sef ehh

i am still waiting for my alert o.....i got it too....buh i called dem,they said they pay in batches....i just tire

i am endie...a medical stud..i need a lady for a relationship..pls call 07038595966

my fifa 14 refuses to open....it just stops at tap to continue and wen i tap,it goes back..wat should i do?

my fifa 14 refuses to open....it just stops at tap to continue and wen i tap,it goes back..wat should i do?
pls save a soul