Okay. Focus, you've got a randy security guard who apparently doesn't mind sleeping around on his wife (who is pregnant if I got that straight) and a knocked-up house girl who's seeking some sort of security (get it? )

First, I would set the guard straight. Zip it up or pack up! Seriously, if you trust him with your life and you have some strong Christian morals, then trust that the Lord would put the right words in your mouth to reach this man. He's got a pregnant wife at home and his job is to protect your home, not help himself to the young women in your household. What if one day you have a niece over? or a sister?, or one day your wife is looking pretty good? Let's not even talk about the possibility of him catching a disease. We are living in the 21st Century. Aids, Herpes, and all their cohorts know no cultural barrier. His wandering ways will lead to disaster and his disaster could become yours. He needs to get his act together or get packing!

As for your hustling housemaid, tell her family. It all begins and ends with family. They should know and should deal with her as they see fit. At the end of the day, you're her employer and nothing more (right?). If she's really good at her housekeeping job and you trust her, then assure her family that you will work with her to ensure she stays on the straight and narrow. But at the end of the day, her family must be told.

My two cents for the day!

It is incredibly reassuring to see that I am not alone here. And please note, I am not saying that my values are superior by any means. I do believe that I have a better handle on them. It's like most of the adults around me have forgotten how they were raised.

I'm also very glad that I'm not married to Nwoke. we'd have issues!

Raising Your Children Nigerian, When You're Married To A Non-nigerian?

Having married a non-Nigerian and having two children with him, I have reached a cross-road that most multi-cultural family's reach. The issue of values and whose upbringing takes priority. I am happy to say that for me, mine take priority. I have a very strong sense of African value and I want to impart this to my children. My husband doesn't mind so much, because he agrees with me on many points, like discipline. I don't whip my children, but they know want a spanking is and they don't want one. I am also bringing them up with a very healthy respect for adults, again something my husband and I are in agreement on. My children are not allowed to talk back to adults. Responses, are not "what, yeah and whatever", but "Yes ma,am No Sir, yes mom, yes dad".

This is where I run into a conundrum because my in-laws, my husband's siblings are not quite as strict to say the very least. When they call their children, they're answered with "WHAT?!" or "I'M BUSY". When my children are around their cousins for a significant amount of time, they emulate them. So after an afternoon with her cousins, the next time I call to my daughter, I get a "WHAT?". I put a stop to that right away!. There are other things as well, There is a lot of inappropriate television programs on in their home, and no I don't think it's okay for my 5 year old to watch the Sopranos.

So now, I don't like to spend time with my in-laws, I don't let my children sleep over. My husband knows why I have chosen this path, but my in-laws are pissed off to the nth degree. I've been called selfish and judgemental. I know that this issue is not necessarily just the domain of multi-cultural families, but I believe that there is a fundamental difference between my African household and their American one, an intangible that I can't put my finger on.

Am I being judgemental? I mean who's to say my household is perfect?

Yes as Christians, we should celebrate Easter, especially since it:
[list]
[li]Reminds us that we serve a living God[/li]
[li]Provides us with the opportunity to reach out to unbelievers[/li]
[li]And it keeps Christ alive in a world that's trying to erase him.[/li]
[/list]

Happy Belated Easter y'all!

Ran a search on a friend and found she'd posted to this site.

I discovered this site because I was "googling" a family member. I currently live in the states and have been here for about 14 years. I have not been back to Lagos since I flew over, not for lack of desire, but because I had zero funds. I barely remember any of my friends from school (All hail FGGC Bwari!) and I have more fingers on my right hand than I have close Nigerian friends.

I don't speak my native language fluently any more because I have not had anyone to speak to in eons. Now that I have a few Nigerian friends, I'm working on my lingual skills, but OH MY WORD, it is hard! It's embarrassing quite frankly. I don't particularly like to be laughed at.

I want my my children to know who I am and where I come from, but at this point, I'm at a loss at where to start. I've read a number of posts and it appears that everyone seems to be well-connected. But there has to be one person who's going through what I'm going through, or has been through what I'm going through.

Any good-spirited pointers to show me the way?