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Romance / Mr And Mrs Right by experts: 11:55am On Feb 19, 2010
laws of finding Mr or Mrs right,

1. You must be right

i.e any body either male or female finding Mr or Mrs right must also be Mr or Mrs right,


to be continued,

and u can add urs
Islam for Muslims / Prophet Mohammed's Married Life Explained: U Can Ask Your Questions Politely by experts: 11:08am On Feb 19, 2010
The life of the Prophet may be divided into four periods so far as his domestic life is concerned. Up to twenty-five he led a celibate life; from twenty-five to fifty-four he lived in a married state with one wife; from fifty-four to sixty he contracted several marriages; and lastly, from sixty till his death he did not contract any new marriage. The most important period to determine whether the Prophet was a slave to his passions is the period of celibacy. If he had not been a complete master of his passions, he could not have led an exceptionally chaste and pure life, which won him the title of al-Amin, to the age of twenty-five in a hot country like Arabia where development must necessarily take place early and passions are generally stronger. His worst enemies could not point to a single blot on his character when challenged later. According to Muir, all authorities agree “in ascribing to the youth of Muhammad a modesty of deportment and purity of manners rare among the people of Makka”.

Now, youth is the time when passions run riot, and the man who is able to control his passions in youth, and that in celibacy, cannot possibly be conceived as falling a prey to lust in his old age. Thus the first period of his life, his celibacy up to twenty-five years of age, is conclusive proof that the could never fall a prey to his passions. It should be noted in this connection that in Arab society at the time there was no moral sanction against an immoral life, so that it cannot be said that he was kept back from an evil course by the moral force of society. Profligacy, on the other hand, was the order of the day; and it was among people who prided themselves on loose sexual relations that the Prophet led a life of transcendent purity, and therefore all the more credit is due to his purity of character.

Take now the next period, the period of a monogamous married life. When twenty-five years of age, Muhammad married a widow, Khadija, fifteen years his senior, and led a life of the utmost devotion with her till she died, when he was fifty years of age. Polygamy was the rule in Arabia at the time; and the wife had not cause of complaint, nor did she ever grumble, if the husband brought in a second or third wife. The Prophet belonged to the noblest family of the Quraish and his marriage with Khadija had enriched him; and if he had chosen to marry another wife, it would have been quite easy for him. But he led a monogamous life of the utmost devotion to his wife during all that time. When Khadija died, he married a very elderly lady, Sauda, whose only recommendation for the honour was that she was the widow of a faithful companion of his who had to flee to Abyssinia from the persecution of the Quraish. The main part of his life, from twenty-five to fifty-four, was thus an example for his followers that monogamy was the rule in married life.

Now comes the third period. Of all his wives A’isha was the only one whom he married as a virgin. Her father, Abu Bakr, the closest friend of the Prophet had offered her to him when he suffered the great bereavement of losing both his wife and his uncle Abu Talib. The girl was one possessing exceptional qualities, and both Abu Bakr and the Prophet saw in her the great woman of the future who was best suited to perform the duties of the wife of a teacher who was to be a perfect exemplar for mankind. So the Prophet accepted her; but apparently she had not yet reached the age of puberty, and her marriage was consummated towards the close of the second year of the Flight.

Footnote on age of A’isha:

A great misconception prevails as to the age at which A’isha was taken in marriage by the Prophet. Ibn Sa‘d has stated in the Tabaqat that when Abu Bakr was approached on behalf of the Holy Prophet, he replied that the girl had already been betrothed to Jubair, and that he would have to settle the matter first with him. This shows that A’isha must have been approaching majority at the time. Again, the Isaba, speaking of the Prophet’s daughter Fatima, says that she was born five years before the Call and was about five years older than A’isha. This shows that A’isha must have been about ten years at the time of her betrothal to the Prophet, and not six years as she is generally supposed to be. This is further borne out by the fact that A’isha herself is reported to have stated that when the chapter entitled The Moon (fifty-fourth chapter) was revealed, she was a girl playing about and remembered certain verses then revealed. Now the fifty-fourth chapter was undoubtedly revealed before the sixth year of the Call. All these considerations point to but one conclusion, viz., that A’isha could not have been less than ten years of age at the time of her nikah, which was virtually only a betrothal. And there is one report in the Tabaqat that A’isha was nine years of age at the time of nikah. Again it is a fact admitted on all hands that the nikah of A’isha took place in the tenth year of the Call in the month of Shawwal, while there is also preponderance of evidence as to the consummation of her marriage taking place in the second year of Hijra in the same month, which shows that full five years had elapsed between the nikah and the consummation. Hence there is not the least doubt that A’isha was at least nine or ten years of age at the time of betrothal, and fourteen or fifteen years at the time of marriage.

In the second year of the Flight began the series of battles with the Quraish and the other Arab tribes, which appreciably reduced the number of males, the bread-winners of the family. These battles continued up to the eighth year of the Flight, and it was during this time that the Prophet contracted all the marriages which appear objectionable to the modern mind, but which neither friend nor foe looked upon with disapprobation at the time. A Christian writer says:

It would be remembered, however, that most of Muhammad’s marriages may be explained at least as much by his pity for the forlorn condition of the persons concerned, as by other motives. They were almost all of them widows who were not remarkable either for their beauty or their wealth, but quite the reverse.

Let us look the facts straight in the face. The Prophet had now in his house a young and beautiful wife in A’isha. None of the other wives whom he married later compared with her either in youth or beauty. Surely then it was not attraction for beauty that led to these marriages. We have already seen that from his youth till his old age the Prophet remained a complete master of his passions. The man who could live in celibacy up to twenty-five and still have the reputation of a spotless character, who up to fifty-four lived with a single wife and this notwithstanding the fact that polygamy was more the rule than the exception at the time and that a polygamous connection was not in the least objectionable — such a man could not be said to have changed all of a sudden after fifty-five when old age generally soothes the passions even of those who cannot control their passions in youth. No other motive than compassion for the ladies who were given this honour can be attached to these marriages. If there had been any less honourable motive, his choice would have fallen on others than widows, and under the Arab custom a man in his position could have plenty of youthful virgins.

I have said that change for the worse could not come over a man who had led an undoubtedly spotless life until he reached fifty-five. If the beauty of women could not excite his passions in youth and lead him away from the path of rectitude, how could it lead him away in old age? And what were the circumstances in which he lived in Madina during these years? It was not a life of ease and luxury that he was leading at the time; it was a life of hardness, because it was at this very time that he had to carry on a life-or-death struggle with the enemies of Islam. Huge armies came to crush him and the small band of Muslims at Madina. The whole of Arabia was aflame against him. He was not secure for a minute. Battles had to be fought in quick succession. Expeditions had to be arranged and sent. “Prophet of God! We are tired of being in arms day and night,” his companions would say to him; and he had to console them by telling them that the time would come when a traveller would be able to go from one end of the country to the other without having any arms. The Jews and the Christians were his enemies along with the idolaters. His best friends were falling sometimes in battle and sometimes by treachery. Is it possible for a man to lead a life of ease and luxury under such circumstances? Even if a man had the mind to lead a life of self-indulgence, which the Prophet according to all available evidence had not, this was not the opportune time for it. In such circumstances of warfare, with enemies within Madina and enemies all around it, with the number of Muslims being insignificantly small in comparison with the enemy, with news of assaults by the overwhelming numbers on all sides, even a profligate’s life would be changed, to say nothing of a man of avowed purity of character, which no temptation could shake, turning into a profligate.

If the Prophet’s days during this period were passed so strenuously, how did he pass the nights? He had a number of lawful wives, but he did not spend his nights in enjoyment with them. There is clearest evidence on record in the Holy Quran as well as Hadith that he passed half, and sometimes even two-thirds, of the night in prayers and in reciting the Holy Quran while standing in prayer. He would stand so long that his feet would get swollen. Could such a man be said to be taking wives for self-indulgence when the minutest details of his life as available to show us conclusively that it was a strenuous life furthest away from indulgence of any kind?

Let us now consider another point. Was any change really witnessed in the latter part of his life when he became the ruler of a state?


When the Prophet actually became the ruler of a state, the furniture of his house was composed of a coarse matting of palm leaves for his bed and an earthen jug for water. Some nights he would go without food. For days no fire would be lighted in his house to prepare food, the whole family living on mere dates. There was no lack of means to live a life of ease and comfort. The public treasury was at his disposal. The well-to-do among his followers, who did not shrink from sacrificing their lives for his sake, would have been only too glad to provide him with every comfort of life, should he choose to avail himself of it. But worldly things carried little weight in his estimation. No mundane craving could ever prevail over him, neither in times of indigence nor of plenty. Just as he spurned wealth, power and beauty which the Quraish offered him when he was yet in a state of utmost helplessness, so did he remain indifferent to them when God granted him all these things out of His grace.

Not only did he himself live the simple life of a labourer, but he did not even allow wealth to have any attraction for his wives. Shortly after their immigration into Madina, the condition of the Muslims had changed, and they carried on a prosperous trade. Their conquests, later on, went further to add to the comforts of life which the Muslims enjoyed. A quite human desire crept into the hearts of the Prophet’s wives that, like other Muslim families, they too should avail themselves of their share of comforts. Accordingly, they approached the Prophet in a body to prevail upon him to allow them their legitimate share of worldly comforts. Thereupon came the Divine injunction:

“O Prophet ! Say to thy wives, If you desire this world's life and its ornature, come, I will give you a provision and allow you to depart a goodly departing. And if you desire Allah and His Messenger and the latter abode, then surely Allah has prepared for the doers of good among you a mighty reward.” [33:28,29]

Thus they were offered two alternatives. They might either have worldly finery, or remain in the Prophet’s household Should they decide to have the former, they would have plenty of what they wanted, but would forthwith forfeit the honour of being the Prophet’s wives. Is this the reply of a sensual man? Such a man would have done everything to satisfy the whim of the objects of his affection. Nay, he would himself have desired that his wives should wear the most beautiful dress and live in comfort. No doubt the Prophet cherished great love for his wives. He had immense regard for the rights of women and was the champion of their cause. But when his wives came to him with what was apparently a quite legitimate demand to have more finery and ornaments, they were coldly told that if they would have these things they were not fit to live in the Prophet’s house. This shows beyond a shadow of doubt how free the Prophet’s mind was of all base and sensual thoughts. He was prepared to divorce all his wives rather than yield to what he regarded as unworthy of his wives — an inclination towards worldly things. It shows conclusively that the object of his marriages was anything but self-indulgence.

Let us consider once more the historical facts which led the Prophet to take a number of wives within the short space of five years from the third year of Hijra to the seventh, while before that he passed nearly thirty years of his life in a monogamous state. This period coincides exactly with the period during which incessant war was carried on between the Muslims and the non-Muslims. The circle of Muslim brotherhood was at the time very narrow. The perpetual state of war created disparity between the male and the female elements of society. Husbands having fallen on the field of battle, their widows had to be provided for. But bread and butter was not the only provision needed in such cases. intimacy-inclination is implanted in human nature, and the statesman who neglects the intimacy requirements leads society to moral corruption, ending ultimately in the ruin of the whole nation. A reformer with whom morals were all in all could not content himself with making provision merely for the maintenance of the widows. The Prophet was anxious for their chastity to a far greater extent than their physical needs. It became therefore necessary allow polygamy. This is the reason that he himself took so many women for his wives during the period when war was raging. Nearly all his wives were widows. If self-indulgence were the motive, the choice would not have fallen on widows. It would have been an enviable privilege for any Muslim to be the father-in-law of the Prophet. But the object was a noble one — the protection of the widows of his friends. In polygamy alone lay the safety of the Muslim society.

That he was peace-loving by nature is shown by the clear injunctions relating to peace in the Holy Quran:

“And if they incline to peace, do thou also incline to it and trust in Allah , And if they intend to deceive thee, then surely Allah is sufficient for thee.” [8:61,62]

The Prophet’s acceptance of the truce of Hudaibiya, though its conditions were humiliating for the Muslims, who were ready to lay down their lives one and all rather than accept those terms, is also a clear proof of his peace-loving nature. But when duty called him to take the field to save his community, he did not hesitate to take up the sword against an overwhelming majority. He acted as a sagacious general in all fields of battle and behaved like a brave soldier when opportunity demanded. He knew how to disperse an enemy in time before it had gained sufficient strength to deal a severe blow at the Muslims. And once, in the battle of Hunain, when his army was in flight owing to the severe onslaught of the enemy’s archers, he was all alone advancing towards the enemy forces, till his soldiers rallied round him. By disposition he had no inclination for war, yet circumstances arose which dragged him into the field of battle, and he then displayed the wisdom of a general and the bravery of a soldier. So by disposition he was not inclined to polygamy, living a celibate life of unexampled purity up to twenty-five years of age and a married life of a monogamous husband up to fifty-four, but when duty called him to take more women under his shelter, he answered the call of duty.
Romance / Will You Dump A Man Who Has Millionaires Of Usa Dollar by experts: 11:37am On Feb 05, 2010
Will You Dump A Man Who is a Millionaires Of Usa Dollar
Romance / Re: 11 Reasons Why Guys Might Be Afraid To Commit by experts: 11:32am On Feb 05, 2010
so why didnt a guy marry u when u were young? or are u still young? if yes are u married?
Politics / Re: Will You Dump A Man Who Has Millionaires Of Usa Dollar by experts: 11:29am On Feb 05, 2010
wrong place, i


i will help u take it to romance section,

so go check it there
Education / Re: National Open University Of Nigeria (NOUN) Students by experts: 11:23am On Feb 05, 2010
hey guys,

d question as to why the school took 10 months to before writing its exam is as follows

we have over 50 study centers in Nigeria, and i believe that when one center is writing exam, d others should be writing too,

but that has been the major problem. some of the study centers are very slow and it affect d entire school operation.

According to the VC we have been facing a lot of problems concerning how we should be conducting our exams, some study centers always have one problem or d other and it affect d entire school,

if u guys remember, d exam was originally scheduled for last year aug/sep but was later canceled, although we d returning students took the exams aug/sep but d freshers didn't,

when d exam datewas fixed, we expect all study centers to be ready, but some centers were not and d exam have to be canceled,

nw d exam date has been fixed again and believe me only 4 center are ready, d others are not, but The VC has concluded that there wont be uniform exams again since its delaying d students, any center that is ready will be allowed to conduct it own exam at its convenience, d next week are exam is going to take place in only 4 study centers,

4 Likes 4 Shares

Properties / Re: Furniture & Interior Decoration Company by experts: 2:22pm On Jan 22, 2010
u can reach me on the following numbers for any urgent information about the furniture,

08076976917, 07066479760, 08121727175

discuswithmayor@yahoo.com
Properties / Re: Furniture & Interior Decoration Company by experts: 2:16pm On Jan 22, 2010
am back,

Thank you all for ur support
Politics / Re: Just Give One Reason Why U Must Condem Nigeria by experts: 12:50pm On Jan 19, 2010
nice one man,


lets stop cursing our country
TV/Movies / Nigeria Seasoned Film by experts: 12:02pm On Nov 23, 2009
when will the nigerian movie industry ever produce a seasoned film?
Politics / The Begining by experts: 11:18am On Nov 23, 2009
Ever since i was born, i have never lived in my country, now am back and want to involve in politics,

where do u think i can start because i not even living in my home state, and i am not planning to start living there now,


please,
Romance / Re: Get Over Ur Heart Break And Feel D Love by experts: 8:19pm On Sep 23, 2009
lol
Music/Radio / Re: Da Grin Vs Lord of Ajasa by experts: 8:01pm On Sep 23, 2009
hey fellas i heard some people talking abt da new Dagrin Album and saying some shits like fk Mode 9,fk Rugged man and Others,

but i still dey wonder, is Dagrin better than ajassa? simple question, no where,

Dagrin is good, yes, he spit fire yes, abi i dey beef am? not at all, what abt u my fellas? i dont think so, but still ajassa all d way,


let me create a little flow on behalve of ajassa,

listen now

Dagrin dey spit fire, mo gba be
gba be dat guy too much , no be lie
ti won ba so pe o flo ju ajassa lo, all join
d guy go collect double grammy, on d way
even Mod 9 no fit near am, i can see
ruggedman gan Nko Aari.
but sibe sibe esha loba de
TV/Movies / Re: Movie Script For Sale by experts: 5:06pm On Sep 18, 2009
all d details u outlined are all enclosed in d story,

u just need to see it,


GODSON2009:

why would he go out to do overnight browing or any browing at all,when he could have simply called his uncle's mobile to let him intimate him of his visit and time of arrival??
how do you know he has no place to stay,what if he had some money to get a cheap room??
i v got to be honest weith you,this is no better than the usual script churned out by thes obioma producers and directors in nollywood


his uncle number was nt going thru and have less cash to be at d hotel, so instead prefer to stay at cafe where he can spend less money,

its me, not any body else, so all story enclosed as said earlier
TV/Movies / Re: Any Movie producer in the house by experts: 4:58pm On Sep 18, 2009
k cheers,
Music/Radio / Re: This Guy Is D Latest Rocking Naija Right Now: Ludder B by experts: 4:51pm On Sep 18, 2009
both
Music/Radio / Re: This Guy Is D Latest Rocking Naija Right Now: Ludder B by experts: 6:14pm On Sep 01, 2009
mr sexy

Music/Radio / Re: This Guy Is D Latest Rocking Naija Right Now: Ludder B by experts: 6:11pm On Sep 01, 2009
his pix has too much color and its very heavy, i had to cut down many things b4 i was able to upload it, so u are nt seeing the full design of the posters

Music/Radio / Re: This Guy Is D Latest Rocking Naija Right Now: Ludder B by experts: 6:05pm On Sep 01, 2009

Music/Radio / Re: This Guy Is D Latest Rocking Naija Right Now: Ludder B by experts: 5:58pm On Sep 01, 2009
ludder B

Music/Radio / Re: This Guy Is D Latest Rocking Naija Right Now: Ludder B by experts: 12:51pm On Aug 30, 2009
Hey guys. I hv personally contactd ludder b and i have his pix and tracks wt me nw. I wil upload d tracks nd pix later
Politics / Re: The Future Vs The Nigerian Youth (clarion Call) by experts: 12:37pm On Aug 30, 2009
U re indeed one of d real nigerians. Bt let us ask ourselves,how can we fulfil dis mission. When we are getting no where with wat we hv started. It is on dis nairaland we created an organisation named as d nigerian development movement. We started well but right now were are we? Nigeria will only move forward when we d youth want progress bt not limited 2 dat,bt proceed 2 think abt d way forward and act. Yes we should act organise and maintain our stand.
Jokes Etc / Re: The Monkeys Question by experts: 12:14am On Aug 30, 2009
I wonder hw una go b. because d monkey father said dey should tank god,nw many people don vex oo. Lol u go jst kil urself 4 anger
Jokes Etc / Re: Who Turn Lolabbey To Lol by experts: 12:05am On Aug 30, 2009
Lol. Were are d comedian
Music/Radio / Re: Upcoming Artistes. . . .discuss Here by experts: 6:13am On Aug 27, 2009
Hey people, it is my pleasure 2 introduce 2 u my hommie ludder b. Ludder b is an upcomin artist based in ilorin,right nw,he is currently workin on his album. Bt 4 nw,he is tryn 2 promote some of is tracks b4 d album is complete. I am personally tryin 2 do d online promo 4 him. If u wil like 2 help me wt links were i can send his tracks to or u hv any contact dat can be helpful. D guy is talentd nd gat some commercial songs too. Plz provide me places were i can market nd promote him online. Marketers, its time u take advantage of talented artist.
Music/Radio / Re: This Guy Is D Latest Rocking Naija Right Now: Ludder B by experts: 5:02am On Aug 27, 2009
D first track i.e sholi gat is a total rap song and d second 1, orekelewa is r n b son
Music/Radio / Re: This Guy Is D Latest Rocking Naija Right Now: Ludder B by experts: 8:38am On Aug 26, 2009
Ludder b is my area guy. D guy wil rock am very sure of dat. I wil meet him and get dis tracks uploaded parsonally. I wil upload hir pix aswel. I once attend a live shw he did and gues wat, d guy perform very lively without usin his beat. Nt usual of artist
Islam for Muslims / Re: Ramadan Is Here, Matters Arising by experts: 11:31am On Aug 24, 2009
baby-mi:

please i need correct answer to d questns

1. is it good to wear jeans& top during fasting
2. is it good to chat with boyfriend during fasting
3. is it good to keep malice during fasting
4. is it good to trouser suite to work during fasting
5. is it good to visit boyfriend during fasting

please i need a mature Muslim to answer d questn


1. is it good to wear jeans& top during fasting

as a muslim lady, with or without fasting, it is not good to wear any cloth that will bring out the shape of ur body, either jeans or anyother,

fastng just gave u the opputunity to end all ur miss deads and change for better. but note, that u re not just stopping because of fasting, but because is nt good at all,


2. is it good to chat with boyfriend during fasting

chatting with boyfriend/girl friend is not bad during fasting, provided u are not saying sinful things, just mare discussion is nt bad,


3. is it good to keep malice during fasting

with or without fasting. keeping malice is not good, the prophet (saw) said keeping malice for a complete day, is bad because if u die keeping dat malice, u will end up in hell,

4. is it good to trouser suite to work during fasting

there is nothin wrong in wearing trouser to work during fasting, provided its not a trouser dat will show ur shape, for women, wearing anything dat will bring our ur shape is bad, women are special creature from Allah, u should always try to cover urself,

5. is it good to visit boyfriend during fasting

it is advisable not to visit boyfriend alone during fasting because this is an holy month, although its nt a bad thing islamically, but to protect and keep both parties on nd safer side, but if u think u re both God fearing, and can avoid any thing dat can tamper with ur fasting, not bad,

Massalam

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