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can someone explain to me what a 'jew boy' is? is it just a jewish person?

well, i personally have been married to an english (white) guy for a year now, we've been together 9 years altogether. we were at school together and have known each other since we were 13. we've had no problems from our families and although i didn't set out to marry a a non-nigerian, i can't think of anyone in the world who would suit me better. we know each other inside out, we're always there for one another and he's my best friend as well as my soulmate. luckily we've never had any insults from anyone, and to be honest our happiness far outweighs anyone else's opinion.

so i would say i have a very positive view on interracial dating! no matter which races are involved.

I have to say i can't believe a lot of the replies i've read from fellow women, why should a guy have to pay in the relationship? what kind of relationship is that? personally, i've been with my husband since we were 16, at the beginning he probably paid for most things, but i never asked and NEVER demanded. And I would buy him gifts now and again. when we were both struggling students it was pretty much give and take, out of love and whatever we could afford. Now we're married, he's building his business and I have a good job that pays the bills. One day things might turn the other way again, who knows? but the point is we see each other as human beings, not cash machines!!

[quote="4 Play"][quote="flakylady"] i almost feel like i want to make up a big argument though, because i can't think of anything serious.[/quote]

You see how women are,even when things are going well,they "want to make up a big argument" .

This was a rare moment of candour from a lady but an insight into the female tendency to argue for no discernible reason [/quote]

Just to clear up a misunderstanding: I meant that I almost wanted to invent a big argument to talk about on the forum (i.e. pretend) just because it sounded a bit too perfect and boring that we hadn't had a serious argument since we got married. We have had serious arguments in the 8 years we've been together, no we aren't robots!
I DID NOT mean I wanted to start an argument with my husband for no reason. hope that makes sense!

thanks for your story uayi, you'll have to announce it here when he proposes!

thanks bagoma, luckily he thinks im beautiful too!

we had a 7 week honeymoon in malaysia, thailand and vietnam (it was beautiful) then came back to england. We've been married for about 8 months now. We have had our share of quarrels, mainly because i can be a bit stubborn sometimes and so can he. i almost feel like i want to make up a big argument though, because i can't think of anything serious. We probably had more issues in the 8 years before we were married, about where we were going to live, i was more academic than him at school and uni so that sometimes caused problems, sometimes (even still) i wish he would be a bit more outgoing. But to be honest, and I suppose we're still in the honeymoon stage it just feels amazing to be together all the time and to have each other. he tells me he loves me every day, he does little things for me all the time, for instance i don't drive yet so he drives me to and from work every day. we share all the cooking and the housework and we live near my family so we have them round for dinner quite regularly.
Anyway Im sorry if it all sounds a bit too good to be true, to be honest we often feel so blessed to be so happy together and we try not to take it for granted. We're still a young couple (25 and 26) and have good jobs and no children so i suppose we haven't got a lot of problems to deal with yet. It has been really enlightening reading all the stories on this thread and i know things won't always be this easy, its nice to have examples of how other people have dealt with their problems.

so bring on the stories!!

thanks jaybaby i think he's beautiful too!

looking forward to your story too

hi all,

have been away on a romantic long weekend and just got back. Was lovely! anyway, nice to know that you guys are still interested. I guess in some ways we have had things very easy and we are very grateful for that. by the time we got engaged we had been together for almost 8 years so we had a lot of time to be sure of each other and our feelings.
The wedding:
the wedding was amazing! the best day of my life. We spent about 14 months planning it and because each of us were the first in our families to get married (first grandchild, cousin etc) it was a really big deal. We're both from catholic families (although we go to a baptist church now) so we got married in the catholic cathedral in the town we grew up in. We had about 300 guests (very big for england!), and a lot of family and friends came over from nigeria, america etc that I hadn't seen in years. He has a large family as well, it was like a huge family reunion! we both felt so loved by our families. There was no opposition at all, he gets on so well with my family, i don't know if its just having lived here for so long but my parents had no problem with me marrying an english guy. I don't think they've ever had a problem with race, tribe etc as long as I'm happy. My mum has looked on him as her own son for a long time now and he loves her to bits.
His family is great as well, they're quite a traditional, 'posh' english family but they've never made me feel anything but welcome and his mum is really lovely.
Anyway back to the wedding. we had an introduction the day before which was traditional with some westernized elements, we had it in a marquee in my parents garden. The wedding in the cathedral was beautiful, we had a nigerian choir, I had bridesmaids in strapless summer dresses and 'flower ladies' in traditional lace. It was a really joyous occasion. The reception was in a stately home in the countryside, we had a marquee in the grounds by a lake, with fairy lights in the trees. there were canapes and drinks in a little ornamental garden, then the guests went through to the marquee for a nigerian buffet, followed by very touching speeches, our first dance and then we had a nigerian band for a few hours (which everyone loved) and then a disco. We didn't stop dancing till about 1 in the morning. It was so lovely. We spent our first night in the stately home and left for our honeymoon 2 days later.
The best thing was we had a mix of both of our cultures, the nigerians loved it and so did the english people. So many people said it was the best wedding they'd ever been to.
Oh yeah, and by the grace of God, we managed to wait until our wedding night to sleep together!

here are some pics of the day:

this was just after the ceremony, in the church garden


those are my parents either side of us


my beautiful 'flower ladies', 3 cousins and my older sister in the reception marquee


my beautiful husband and I at the reception venue, it was a really lovely sunny day


will post more later!

hey feelgood, thanks for the encouragement, inspires me to keep going!

We were both 18 when we started uni and the first time we had to leave each other there were tears (not just from me!). But as I said as time went on it got easier, as we were just poor students we had to save and take the train to see each other as much as we could. But the funny thing was, we were at university for 5 years and even though it was really hard being away from each other we never wanted to break up, it was never an option. In fact we just grew closer. Of course we spent a lot of time praying about our relationship as well, so it wasn't just down to us!
Anyway at the end of 5 years we wanted to move closer to each other but it didn't work out, i ended up doing my vocational training (kind of like working as a dentist but still training) in carlisle while he stayed in manchester.

How he proposed:
First of all, we talked about marriage about 2 months after we got together! It was pretty much a given. We always said, after uni. One weekend when he came to see me in Carlisle he said he didn't think we could get engaged for a long time because he wanted to put all his money into his business and couldn't afford a ring. I was so upset! a couple of weeks later was our anniversary weekend and we rented a cottage in the lake district. I didn't suspect anything right up till the moment we went for a drive along the coast. on a deserted beach he sat me down on a rock, got down on one knee produced a beautiful ring and said "Will you marry me?"
It didn't take me long to say yes!

i met my husband at school when we were 13, started dating at 16 (on valentines day!) and we got married last year at 25. We've been together 9 years altogether and it's been wonderful!

hi again! sorry ive been away a while. back to the story,

So as I said they broke up, and by this time i had (i thought) gotten over my feelings, I was concentrating on my long-distance relationship (although it was fizzling out to nothing). But, over time I started getting close to him again, and we spent a lot of time together. what was really special was that as i said earlier he was very quiet but i felt like we really connected and he let me see him in a way he didn't let most people. he used to show me poems and songs he had written (he was very artistic!) and we'd always find each other first when we came into class in the morning. So, over time those feelings started reappearing again but I told myself he definitely didn't feel the same way and I didn't want to look like an idiot, so I didn't say anything.
This would probably have gone on forever (you know how it is when you're 16!) but luckily a friend of ours realised what was going on. She called me, managed to get me to admit I liked him, did the same thing with him and then told us both what the other had said. The next day we were really shy with each other but eventually got it all out in the open. This was in the middle of the week. We vowed not to do anything until I'd broken up with my boyfriend in nigeria which I did on the friday. On saturday (valentines day, coincidentally!), we went out on our first date to pizza hut (very romantic, I know) and we started going out officially!

We became very close very quickly, i think because we were friends first. We could each tell the other everything and anything (and still can!). When we went to university we didn't get into the same one, I went to study Dentistry in Newcastle and he went to Manchester. We were devastated at first but we managed to see each other as often as we could.

more of the same tomorrow!

Well, i noticed him the first time I saw him. It was my first day at a new school, we had just moved back to England after 5 yrs in naija and i wasn't happy at all. I was only 13 and had just left all my friends behind. But I noticed him, he was tall, had wavy brown hair and blue-green eyes and I thought idly, he looks nice. Anyway, we didn't talk much after that, I eventually settled in and made friends, when we were 15 one of my best friends decided she had a crush on him and spent every minute talking about him. By this time I had discovered he was really nice but very very shy, unlike my very loud friend! she tried every trick in the book to get him (you know 15 yr old girls) but no luck, I think he was afraid of her!
So the school I was in was a very small private school, the 6th form (as in a-level class) was very small. a lot of people in my year left and went to college to do their a-levels. When I walked in on the first day of term, he was sitting in the common room playing his guitar, I remember feeling pleasantly surprised. Over time we found out we had a lot in common, the same music, films, beliefs (both christians) and we soon became really close friends. There were only about 15 of us in the year, so we were all pretty close but I always looked forward to seeing him. At the time I had a boyfriend who I'd met in naija that summer so I still thought of him as just a friend.
Anyway, as time went on I realised that I was developing feelings for him, I sill had a boyfriend so I tried not to think about it. I couldn't help feeling sad when he started going out with another friend of mine in class although I was really careful not to show it. They ended up splitting up after a few weeks, she broke up with him and I ended up consoling both of them as they were both my friends.
Stay tuned for the next instalment!

hi! I'm new to this forum, in fact this is the first time ive ever posted on a forum. but ive been lurking on nairaland for a while and find it really addictive. i came across this thread yesterday and it's so interesting, it's the first one that actually inspired me to post. anyway, i have a wedding story of my own, if anyone is still watching this thread!

hi everyone, I'm new too