JapaToDNext:
remember this saying,

when u try to change people,There are consequences,

Don't be deceived, love with your head and not your heart,

My Advice::

End that relationship, because the foundation is faulty

Brother, I’d like you to give me more insights on what consequences I may face in the future should I try to change this woman.

KingDash:
Bros you be simp.. I hate simps and I hate you. Mumu man, carry money dey give woman wey no be your mama or sister, bastard

Take it easy man!
I only needed advice on what to do on this situation I happened to find myself not to add more reason for me to lose my sleep

SenatePresdo:


Hahaha, women and their antics.
You have made your point clear to her that you helped her because you could afford to.

She on the other hand, may not have met a man as kind as you are towards her, she many never want to lose you in her life.
She knows there is nothing she can do for you, if the union continues, she will be the one to gain more and she knows.

You can be helping her once in a while if she asks, that's fine.
But let her see your body language that you are not ready for anything serious with her, if you are not the kind that says their mind upfront.

As it stands, the girl will want something serious that can lead to marriage on the long run. I'm not saying it's bad, but my concern is that you shouldn't make decisions based on the way you feel at the moment.

I’ll put this advice into consideration. This is what my brain keeps telling me every time my heart seem to be yearning for her.
Thanks man! I appreciate this piece.

SenatePresdo:


I have felt deeper emotions of love than this, I know how you are feeling.

But Don't rush things, until the feelings comes down, definitely it will.

By then, your brain will be clear to make proper decisions.

As for now, No amount of words would make you change what your feelings are making you to think.

Never make a long term decision out of the way you feel. Feelings will make you compromise your interest, and it's bad.

Just be normal friends with her until your feelings comes down, after thinking and you wish to marry her. Then fine, maybe you are her own prayer point.

Thanks for this helpful input.
However this lady in question now feels she owes me. I’ve somehow tried to let her know i did all I did coz I could help.
So far I’ve hid this feelings away from her coz I don’t want anyone to capitalize on my emotions when I still don’t yet know their motives.

Temmylee01:
And Flettyboy reason with me, can you ever trust her 100%
If she is making calls and she's laughing or serious with her phone and later she say she has to rush to somewhere would your mind rest that she really going somewhere not hook-up-where, if she's chatting in the living room in the night won't you be bothered and be optimistic to know who she is chatting with.
The fact you met her as a run girl will always play a big factor, TRUST is a must in every relationship, so can you trust her despite knowing fully how invested she was into hook up, she manage to get 1.4milie in 5 weeks or so she has seen the power of her punana can u cub her.

Why not. I can trust her as long as she promises change and keeps to it.
Also, from how we discussed in the past few weeks of meeting, she was working as a health care receptionist before life hits hard.
I know so many people might feel I’m willing to be with her out of pity, but no, I really felt something I’ve never felt before.
I no came to realize the meaning behind “when you love, you compromise everything”, and trust isn’t left out of this rule I presume.
When you love, you trust.
I still don’t know what stand I should take yet tho but thanks for the input.

Lolachef:
And hope u won't use this against her in the future?

Because nigerian men lack sense and can't control their emotions.

Make u no dey remind her how and where u picked or met her in future.

Absolutely not at all!
I’m a real liberal gentleman who respects everyone no matter the race, tribe, culture or beliefs.
I will never do such thing to her. I hate prejudice.
I’ve learnt humans, evil, good and changes all works hand To hand.
There was an incident that occurred many years back.
There used to be a very rich couple who were living 2 buildings from my parent’s bungalow at an estate around addo, Ajah.
A night came when they were robbed at gun point in their own house in midnight.
The wife has been pregnant since I was in ND 1 back then and was still pregnant till I got to ND2’s second semester.
At the moment of robbery, according to what close neighbors to this couple said, the wife somehow went into labor for the fourth time in almost 18 months. Whenever she goes into labor like this, it’s all pains and you know, what have you, yet no childbirth will take place.
Some bad mouth people in my neighborhood back then used to say the man is a ritualist while young guys would say the man is the cause coz of how he used to seize their footballs whenever those boys kicked it away into their compound.
So at that distinct night, when the woman water broke at gun point, it was these robbers that midwived the lady and helped her deliver! No police came at that time cause you know how smart some robbers could be.
The money they robbed was willingly dashed out to these robbers by the husband as he was in double feelings that night.
It was later in the day that the news of the event broke out and people were left amused.
So I believe what we do doesn’t really define us as a person it’s all about what’s in our heart. That’s why I will never judge anyone by their profession, look or tribe.

Ab025:


Okay, do something...

Test her loyalty. Tell her to stop hookup and be with you for now. Meanwhile, after 2 weeks, pass her phone number to a male friend of yours, let that good friend of yours chat her up and offer to pay her 50k for hookup....let's see if she falls for the bait ..

During this time, tell her you are down on funds..

Normally, if going with her finally prevails over every other thoughts I’m having, testing her is imminent.
Thanks for the wise input, I absolutely appreciate every bits of it.

FreeIgboho:


And who are you to tell another person what he feels? You know better than him if he is in love?
OP, romantic love is a delicious feeling you should thoroughly enjoy however way it sneaks into your life. But that’s different from actually marrying the lady. Here’s what you should do: pay her child’s medical expenses - you’ll actually get more than you give doing this, in many ways. You are lucky to find someone like that you can help, plus love. That combination can work miracles for you. As for commitment, you have to get to know the lady better, plus make sure you are not too much of a jealous type. Bottom line: while enjoying your love and generosity for the lady keep an ESCAPE HATCH in case things turn out not to be what you thought!

Wow! I really really appreciate this one piece of advice right here! Thanks so much! I was afraid of the mixed reactions and backlash I was receiving until now.
God bless you!

davidadenrele:

My Brotherly,

My late mum once said you find love where you least expected, follow your heart at the same I concur that you should enquire more of the whereabout of her girl father.

Going forward sit her down tell how you feel about her genuinely, if she's yours she will open her heart to you, however if she said yes to your proposal open your eyes and be on the look out old habit the say die hard, some things require prayers go with your heart this could be how God design it for you to find your missing rib.

All the best.

Thanks so much brother. Those bolded words were the exact same thing my colleague at work told me when I explained to him.
In fact he even said sometimes, those kinds of people are sometimes referred to as anchors of great tidings or harbingers of calamities depends on what purpose GOD wants that person to serve in one’s life. I asked my neighbor with scope regarding if the statement is something true which he confirmed it is but are just not easy to spot, identified or go with.
I have loved before, and I did with all my heart but what ended it? Disappointment.
So right now, whole lots of factors are making me find it hard making a decision about this lady coz it’s a very distinct feelings. But I’ll give it a lot of thoughts.
Thanks a lot, I appreciate

Jashub:
I don't think you're in love ; I just think you've met a beautiful girl who's willing to give you good pùssy in exchange for filling a certain emptiness inside you. But think deeply about your decision. Cheers

She’s beautiful, no doubt!
But there isn’t any void within me to fill.
Honestly, this isn’t something I usually feel. Me going to the site was because of how the original poster on Snapchat captioned it. Tho I don’t have a girlfriend but oh yeah, i do have some females friends of which we aren’t dating but consensually having intimacy.
And what’s more, I’ve met quite handful amount of pretty girls who are into runs and stuffs like that, but I have never had this kind of feelings towards them.
The thing is so confusing.
Once I decided to just help and free her, my heart starts playing tricks on me, and the moment I decided to pursue these feelings, and work something out with her, then my brain starts kicking against it.
I’m fighting my self right now.
for a fact, I know that sometimes, who we are is far different from how we are really living, choose to live or have lived, what we do doesn’t define our personality all the time. Life situations isn’t a one size fits all.
But thanks for the advice. I’ll ponder over it and will apply wisdom in making a decision soon.
But by the way, if there’s any real life scenarios anyone can share with me that’s similar to this topic, pls do, it will help a brother. I might learn a thing or two from it.

Jashub:
Forget the advice from the person above; it's just delusional talk from a simp or wayward female with very deluded expectations.


But as man,there are two things you should never do when you meet a woman who's into hookups and has a kid .

1. Fall in love

2 . Believe you can get her through your financial status

Now before you call me a Redpiller , try and see this things from realistic perspective and answer the following questions :

1. She has a daughter on dialysis , and that stuff doesn't come cheap because it's actually related to the kidney failure and some other complications. So are you prepared for future expenses on a child that is not yours?

2. Have you bothered to asking her the whereabouts of the child's father and how she got separated from him...?

3. You say you love this woman , but can you live with the thought that she carrying a massive body-count that's probably over 20 men?


If you can get answers to these questions and you're truly satisfied with the answers,then go ahead and date her.

But I'll tell you one thing: 95% of men won't step near her because there's no benefit to being with her other than pussy .

About the body count, I can make do with that, reason I’d because even the ones that aren’t into hook ups could be worse at times.

As for the child’s father’s whereabouts, the only information she has on that was that he left Nigeria for Ghana, and the child was conceived during her secondary school days - unprotected sex from two naive persons.

But on the dialysis, that’s the main reason why I’m so lost. The doctor said it’s treatable. And management is much efficient. But I don’t know how true this is.
I don’t know love could be so powerful this much that it’s hook-winding my mind right now.

Prechgold1180:
Bro before the simp calling nairalanders come online
I would tell u my own take on this
Bro if she is good then go for her
You can change her since she is willing to change


Life is deep
Don’t allow poor nairalanders tell u what to do
Majority of them wake up every morning with nothing to eat only to log in with their borrowed 50 mb from mtn get into Nairaland and start dishing out insult calling people simps online

Bro go for your heart
Find out about the circumstances that led to the birth of that child ask about the father

Get first hand information about everything if its all good den go for her

Nothing left in the street after all
Naija girls are all excourts Only few has less than 10 body count

Thanks so much. This will go a long way in helping me make the right decision. It’s been a tough one. My heart and my brain are at loggerheads.

Good day, pls i’m new here and I need serious advise on what to do.
N.B: This is not in anyway a promotional post.
A couple of weeks ago, I was surfing my Snapchat when I came across a post from a guy. It was actually a screenshot of a hook up site, the name is RunsGram, I don’t know if anyone would be familiar with it.
Curiously, I did a quick google search on the website name and google brought it out.
On the site, there are lots of hook up girls there and most of them are in Lagos.
I started checking the girls out as I was liking what my eyes was seeing.
Now I came across this lady, I will withhold her name for privacy sake. She was dark and quite slim and in her late 20s.
Her picture caught my attention coz she was so beautiful and endowed. For descriptive personification, she shares same physique traits with Nnengi of BBN.
I decided to contact her for a weekend company as it was Thursday.
We spoke about price and She agreed to come.
So, 3 days later, I buzz her up to remind her of our schedule which she confirmed to make it to my place during that day’s evening.
On getting to my place, she was calm and not so outspoken as a person. I am also a very calm person in nature. I made her feel comfortable around me coz I noticed she was tensed.
So I quietly asked her if it’s okay for us now to go to the other room which she said “it’s fine”.
Omo, this girl has the sweetest scent I’ve ever perceived on a lady.
To top that, she is clean and mild. I asked her if she has any boyfriend which she said no - she maybe lying o but at least she said no
We spent almost 2 hours talking and chit chatting. Then she told me how she liked me coz I was different from most of the guys she had met before me. We both laughed that off.
This very state of our connection was what led me into asking her some very personal things like if she’s got a boyfriend, how she’s coping with life with her choice of profession etc.
What she told me was quite touching. At first I didn’t believe it, but she backed up all her hardship claims with real proofs. I won’t go into most of the details but one of the most amusing thing she told me about was that she’s raising funds for her daughter’s dialysis operation.
Normally when we all ask hook up girls why they’re doing it, they all tend to come up with numerous excuses, but this very person I met was indifferently different.
To cut the story short I told her I wish I could help, I purposely said this so she wouldn’t think she’s seen a cash cow in case she’s looking for one. I dunno!
Going on while, she was expecting me to start what so e came to do but I just couldn’t. I didn’t touch her. I paid her in full. So she left the next morning.
Five days later, we had gotten a bit close, yunno, we necessarily don’t need to condemn and isolate people for whatever Choice of profession they choose. So we talk quite often and some times text.
So Few days ago, she called and asked for a little help, she said she needed 100k to push the total accumulated amount of their initial health bill of the said operation to about 60% so they can commence the operation. I thought to myself “is this playing?” But one thing was telling me not to doubt her coz I can afford to dash out 20X that amount.
I told her no problem and I asked for her account. She sent it and I immediately sent her the 100k. I told her not to bother thanking me.
So last Wednesday, she called to thank me and that she would like to invite me over so her daughter can say thank you which I agreed to go.
On getting there, I met her and her Ill daughter. She was really really going through some serious health issues.
I was touched.
I remembered when she told me if she will get out of this issues, She will stop doing runs.
I left her after a while to see the doctor and enquire about some things. The doctor said she has paid almost 1.4 in about 13 weeks coz they said the process accrues cost every week. Omo I was so speechless. I asked about the remaining fees and they said the girl has about 5 more weeks coz there were some weeks that were missed for the procedures. I offered to pay up the remaining part.
The doctor told the lady about it. She cried, but I told her its all fine.
After that day, we’ve grown even more closer, she sometimes ask me to come to her place in ikate after I close at work and sometimes she would ask to pay me a courtesy visit.
Now after all these, it seems I can’t get this lady out of my head. Like I am in love. She’s really beautiful with good humor but I am still lost on what to do with this feeling. I don’t know why.
I really need advice on what to do.
Should I just help and shut out the feeling and go on with my life? Or can I follow this feeling?
Please help a brother.