The saying "no man is perfect" have made many women settle and feel content in toxic relationships. Sometimes these relationships are even life threatening. They resolve to stay on, hoping for a positive change. But there are some traits in a man that no woman should ever put up with - no matter how above average he may seem to be.

Here are some of the habits no woman should ever condone from her man.

POSESSIVE AND CONTROLLING

He treats you like a prize he has won over - trying to dominate and control your every move. He takes you for one of his properties, and so should dictate how your life should be run. Possesivness is not entirely a bad trait, a little bit of possesiveness from a man can be good, but only if he can tame it with utmost self control. Truth is, most of these guys rarely can put themselves in check. They are more like drunken control freaks.


EXTREME ANGER


NOT KEEPING TO PROMISSES

EXTREME JEALOUSY

Jealousy in every relationship is normal and healthy, but only if it I balanced with trust. A real man should trust his woman enough to not have to suspect or question her every move. Apart from the fact that this attitude can be really mind wrecking, it shows that he completely lacks faith in you. And trust is the core foundation on which all relationships are held firmly in place.


NARCISSISTIC TENDENCIES

SERIAL LIARS


DRUG OR ALCOHOL ADDICTION

MUST WIN EVERY ARGUMENT

"Me and my girlfriend went out to watch a movie. The movie was about mother-inlaws and some of the wicked acts they do. And next she said without thinking;

"thank God your parents are dead"

Knowing how well attached I was to my parents, and the fact that the way they died was so heartbreaking for me. I have been down since, don't even know what to do or even think. I am currently on my sixth bottle, trying to calm my nerves so I would be able to sleep. I am so disappointed, heartbroken and angry at her for trying to see an advantage in my pain - celebrating my pain as a plus. I have a feeling that she has been a pretender all the while and was never that nice person she was claiming to be. Did she ever love me? Am I overreacting? This might just be the end of this relationship"

Anonymous.

Your advice is needed on this.

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Check out these photos shared by a Nigerian lady on facebook about her cheating uncle who mistakenly asked for her nudes, thinking she was just a random girl.

GuntersChain:
agape love

It is near impossible for love between two attractive young persons of opposite gender to be purely agape.. So long as we are human, and hormones flow in us, you'll feel the urge. The only exception is if you are married or already attracted to someone else. But in this context, we are talking about "intimate relationships"

darol4real:
Relationship is not about SEX

True but we cannot shy away from the fact that "sexual chemistry" and "sex" as an act makes a vital part of every relationship. If there is none, or there is no hope that you can ever have sex in future, there would be no relationship in the first place.

For a few years now, I have been researching and writing on sex, relationships, love, psychology, and lifestyle. From my many years of experience in relationships, I have never seen a relationship that survived two straight years if one of the partners denies the other (or himself/herself) the happiness and intimacy that comes from sexual satisfaction.

It is true that love is not sex, and when we truly love someone, we are usually blind to some things about them. We will be willing to sacrifice, overlook or live with some of their shortcomings. But forget what your pastor or imams tell you. Every relationship between a man and a woman is rooted in sexual attraction. If it wasn't, why aren't you ok being gay and dating your good same-sex friend? You love them too, right? So why ain't you cool with it?

There is no point trying to fight it, men are programmed to love a woman, and to feel that sexual chemistry towards anything female. We love everything about the other gender that is different from ours. While men fancy the big and curvaceous glutes of women, women are attracted to a masculine torso with well-tapered biceps. It's natures design that we appear sexy and drawn intimately to the opposite gender.

Of course, religious leaders would preach that premarital sex is sinful. But judging by our present economic realities, How can a man with testosterone flowing in his veins stay up to 35 years a virgin? This to me is the primary reason why rape, child molestation, and other deviant sexual behaviors have been on the rise in our society lately. When the urge builds up to a certain level, they are just going to find any place to cool it off.

Although one has to be careful really. People go into relationships for different reasons too, and fun or sex is sometimes a reason too. But, If you both feel so genuinely in love with each other, and can do with the consequences of having good quality lovemaking with your partner, then why not? Don't push them to go look elsewhere for it. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Am not saying that it's wrong deciding to stay celibate till you get married. But if you have made a decision to abstain from sex till you get married, try as much as possible to not sacrifice a good relationship on the altar of abstinence.

Visit our blog for more relationship and dating tips.

A 39 year old unmarried woman have narrated the story of how she was spanked 48 strokes of cane by a pastor to deliver her from the spirit that was preventing her to get married.

Princess Josephine Uloma who is an indigene of Orlu in Imo state, broke down in tears in front of a large congregation in Asaba on Sunday as she narrated all the horrific things she went through in her desperate quest to find a life mate.

Sharing her testimony to the congregation, she said she had been approached by several suitors but rejected them all because of the "spirit of limitations, anger, and demonic measures" that had infested her.

In her words;

"Trouble started when I turned down a marriage offer from a suitor who hailed from Enugu State. Few months later, I found myself in an unbridled anger and querulous manners. I started beating up men whoever ask my hand in marriage. Any man who comes near me I will beat him up".

In tears, she added: "My life is full of testimonies, I rejected an offer of marriage from a suitor who hailed from Enugu State, and after few months, my trouble started, I was taken to several churches including one of the Pentecostal churches around Ezenei Avenue where I was flogged 48 strokes of cane by the pastor. And after I slept for twenty minutes, I took on the pastor, beat him up silly and forced him to eat from the sand".

While denying the allegation that her problem stemmed from excessive alcohol and/or Indian hemp consumption.

"My parents during the process thought I did not want to marry. They organized a man who came from London to marry me, and when we got there I beat him up after a minor quarrel, and I was arrested and deported to Nigeria, I later realized I was not myself when I came into Nigeria before I was introduced to King’s Chapel."

Princess capped up her testimony by saying she has since been delivered by the prophet in charge of King's Chapel in Asaba. Adding that since her deliverance she has had over 120 suitors asking her hands in marriage, and that all the suitors are currently being screened by God.

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Each time I think of Nigeria, my heart goes sobber. I feel shattered like a Humpty-dumpty falling off the wall. I feel like walking through the Sahara Desert and swimming the Mediterranean sea. Every democracy day, my heart aches and breaks.


What is the Democracy Day in Nigeria?


For political leaders and politicians, democracy day is one of the most important holidays in the country. It is the day "they" celebrate the return of democracy in Nigeria.

And how has this democracy fared since then?

Some (politicians especially) will argue that we now have Freedom of speech, Freedom of association, Massive development, Better governance at the local levels etc but it's all a facade. If you doubt me, name your dog "buhari" or cry when your people get killed. The only development I see is "there is a yearly increase in the number of pregnant men wearing agbada, building mansions and driving fancy cars". I see a few hijack all engines of government and run the entire country to suit their needs. I see a people manipulated by the privileged elite class using ethnicity and religion for their own selfish aggrandisement.

Now, they say democracy is the best system of government, and I ask how? How can a man who knows not his left from his right be let to choose what suits him better? He is most likely to make a bad choice.

And we have always made bad choices.

Nigerians don't deserve democracy, we would have educated ourselves to a certain level before even thinking of it.

I write mostly about lifestyle and relationships

phazotron:
mehn as a guy u need to choose the woman who loves u more......i cant date or even ask out any woman who does not give any signs of interest towards me........too old to force myself on anybody........if i reach out once twice and she no cooperate, na to waka pass........

Thats just the best way to avoid stories that touch in future.

"Is there anything wrong with me? Shouldn't I be jealous seeing my girlfriend making out with someone else? I caught my girlfriend making out with her best friend and I didn't feel a speck of jealousy. But that's not even the problem, we talked about it and I have forgiven her. Problem is, since then I have been having this strong desire for her friend and I don't know where this temptation could take me. Is there anything wrong with me?"

I just got this email from a reader on my blog and thought I should share with nairalanders. Guys what do you think. I need your help to reply him.

You guys can judge her how you like but I see it from a different angle. She's never giving up on love, and that's a good thing.

MissRaine69:
It’s not about life being unfair it is a case of refusing to accept how materialistic most Nigerian woemn are these days and being very blind to the obvious. If you always give and she never reciprocates question the validity of that realtionship immediately.

This is so true.

Women are humans too with a brain just like you. They are educated just like you, graduated even with better grades than you, are employed and contributing equally to the home's upkeep. So why should a wife tremble under the feet of her husband? Just because he is a man? Common guys, that's 13th century life. Respect in marraige and relationships should be mutual. Because she is a woman doesn't make her your slave.

Love is a beautiful feeling. Falling in love with the right person adds more value and makes a better meaning of life. Indeed, a good life is a life filled with love. Loving someone unconditionally and having them sincerely love us back in return is what we all crave for. It is surely about the best feeling on earth. However, sometimes it is not as simple as said. We may be so in love with someone who clearly isn’t interested in us or we may fail to return the feelings of that person who loves us so genuinely.

If you were to choose, which would you prefer, the one you love more or the one that loves you more

There was this guy on nairaland who took four good years to woo a girl. He fed her, paid her rent, clothed her and paid her fees through the university. Not to talk of the showers of gifts on every other special day. He was such a nice guy I must confess. Even with Chioma's sexily tempting well shaped "Behind", he was so honourable and never asked for anything in return. I still wonder how any man could overcome such temptation. He was so in love with her but felt too shy (or is it afraid) to formally ask her to be his girlfriend. Chioma graduated from ESUT with a brilliant grade and instantly got a job with a merchant bank.

A few weeks ago, just barely five months into her new job, I saw a wedding card. And surprisingly, my guy was not the groom to be.

WHAT HAPPENED?

Back then in school, they duo seemed like lovebirds. Although there was nothing formal about their relationship, Terry confessed they had kissed a couple of times and they were informally dating. But that he wanted to take it slow. He loved her so much and wouldn't risk formally putting the question. He wanted to make it special. He said he had plans to surprisingly propose to her on her next birthday.

But here are we, perplexed and at a fix on what to even think.

Surprising though, she never said anything about her planned marriage or even gave Terry a clue.

WHY IS LIFE SO UNFAIR?

IS YOUR CURRENT GIRLFRIEND REALLY WORTH THE CHASE?

Many ladies take long hours to dress-up or apply make-up only to attract men, forgetting that a smile and very simple acts of kindness faster does the magic. Some guys lure ladies with bank alerts, cash and fancy cars but end up only with gold-diggers.

5 STEPS TO MAKE YOUR CRUSH FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

We most times blame women who stay on in abusive relationships but I bet you it's not easy quitting.

At a point in every relationship, there is some form of "spiritual bonding" especially for couples who have been having great sex for a while.

Abusers are expert manipulators.

Have you ever given it a thought as to how terrorist kingpins convince people to blow themselves up? It may look stupid to you but some people do not see it that way. The human way of reasoning can be programmed and conditioned.

And this is the very exact tactic abusers use to control their victims.

Read WHY WOMEN FIND IT HARD TO QUIT ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

1. She came along with her two friends.

2. First thing she said "i am so hungry" Though I was loaded with cash, that turned me off instantly.

Read TIPS TO MAKING A GREAT FIRST IMPRESSION ON A FIRST DATE

Read TIPS TO MAKING A GREAT FIRST IMPRESSION ON A FIRST DATE

Do not just conclude that she is a lesbian. This habit is common with mostly teenage girls who are over protected at home and forced to study in single sex boarding schools. They get initiated into this act by their seniors who use them to get off their urges, and the cycle continues. Am sure she still has feelings for men. All she needs is good boyfriend who will help change her perception or mindset.

When we are asleep, our bodies get shut down to refresh or revivify it. But our minds never stop working. Images, sensations, feelings and ideas keep running through our brains consistently. At a certain stage of sleep called the REM (Rapid Eye Movement), the body is almost completely hibernated while brain activity is said to have peaked at a very high point. This is when we start dreaming. Although a dream can also occur at any stage in our sleep but dream researchers say dreams that occur out of the REM stage are far less vivid and memorable.


Read the full article HERE or continue on nairaland.


Sometimes we may be so carried away in our dream to the point that our bodies begin to sense and act as if what we are going through is real. And we wake up panting profusely or feeling our heart pump faster. This leads us to the question "can a nightmare trigger a heart attack?"

Dr Robert Aronson a sleep Medicine specialist answers a "Yes". Dr. Aronson says a nightmare has the potential to trigger a heart attack, especially in the morning hours. But he explains further that it is a very rare occurrence. Saying, "Healthy people's hearts are usually more than able to handle the stress of even the most frightening dream.”

Read the full article HERE or continue on nairaland

In essence, a bad dream can induce a heart attack for someone who is already prone to one. Especially at the REM stage when a dream can feel so real like we are awake. But we can draw a line between the dream world and reality. You can actually determine in your sleep if you are dreaming or not.

DO A REALITY CHECK

1. Ask yourself the question, "am I dreaming?"

This helps quite a lot. If you keep asking yourself this question at times when you are awake, then you would very likely ask same in a dream. It awakes you to the consciousness that you might actually be dreaming thus making you to start looking for other signs or proofs. If everything seems consistent and in real time, then you are not dreaming. But if you notice any distortions or inconsistencies, then it's probably a dream.

2. Check for distortions

Our eyes, ears and other senses constantly pick up inputs from our environment and relays to the brain. The brain in turn interprets and keeps all records. This makes us feel a lot more conscious of the real world that we have become so used to. But in a dream, everything seems strangely different. There is this feeling like you are in a strange, fragile, dangerous and unstable world. Everywhere you go, there are too many distortions like words changing on a page, inconsistency of time on a clock or extraordinary magical things happening around. Do a careful check, if there are too many inconsistencies, then you may just be dreaming.

3. Check for an item you always have on you

There is always that one item that you carry most of the time on you or keep close within your reach. It can be anything, a phone, wallet, necklace, bracelet or finger ring. Check for it. If this item is not close and you have no idea where it would be, then there is a high chance that you are dreaming.


CAN YOU RECALL HOW IT ALL STARTED?

Dreams have no beginning, they might have an end but it's rare. The story starts in the middle. You cannot recall how you got to the point you were when it all started. But reality is very deeply connected. The events taking place at present connects to the past and to the future. This is the best and easiest way you can tell if it is a dream. Ask yourself this question from time to time, "How did I get here?". If you cannot recall in clear details how you found yourself at that point, then start checking for other signs, you may be living in the dream world.Dreams have no beginning, they might have an end but it's rare. The story starts in the middle. You cannot recall how you got to the point you were when it all started. But reality is very deeply connected. The events taking place at present connects to the past and to the future. This is the best and easiest way you can tell if it is a dream. Ask yourself this question from time to time, "How did I get here?". If you cannot recall in clear details how you found yourself at that point, then start checking for other signs, you may be living in the dream world.


ARE YOU FEELING THESE SIGNS?

1. Weakness/Drowsiness, you feel like you are partly asleep but yet awake.

2. Fear without reason, you just have this tension built up in you but cannot really understand where it's coming from.

4. Cynicism, you just feel so critical of the motives of others. You are overtly suspicious and afraid of everything and everyone.

5. You feel like you are floating, flying like a bird, walking or crawling on a wall.

6. You are chased by a monster, you cannot run fast enough yet it never catches you.

7. Paralysis, you are in danger and your mind feels like fleeing but your legs feel like you are paralysed.

8. Unexplainable stuffs happening around like it's morning and time for work yet everywhere is still dark or the stairs seem disconnected at some point you have to jump to the other end.

If you keep seeing these signs, then it is most likely that you are dreaming.

When we are asleep, our bodies get shut down to refresh or revivify it. But our minds never stop working. Images, sensations, feelings and ideas keep running through our brains consistently. At a certain stage of sleep called the REM (Rapid Eye Movement), the body is almost completely hibernated while brain activity is said to have peaked at a very high point. This is when we start dreaming. Although a dream can also occur at any stage in our sleep, dream researchers say dreams that occur out of the REM phase are far less vivid and memorable.

Sometimes we may be so carried away in our dream to the point that our bodies begin to sense and act as if what we are going through is real. And we wake up panting profusely or feeling our heart pump faster. This leads us to the question "can a nightmare trigger a heart attack?"

Dr Robert Aronson a sleep Medicine specialist answers a "Yes". Dr. Aronson says a nightmare has the potential to trigger a heart attack, especially in the morning hours. But he explains further that it is a very rare occurrence. Saying, "Healthy people's hearts are usually more than able to handle the stress of even the most frightening dream.”

In essence, a bad dream can induce a heart attack for someone who is already prone to one. Especially at the REM stage when a dream can feel so real like we are awake. But we can draw a line between the dream world and reality. You can actually determine in your sleep if you are dreaming or not.


DO A REALITY CHECK

1. Ask yourself the question, "am I dreaming?"


2. Check for distortions


3. Check for an item you always have on you


CAN YOU RECALL HOW IT ALL STARTED?

1000 More Words

According to a Reverend father Vesuwe Benjamin who works at Catholic Diocese of Gboko,Benue state,his house and church were ransacked by Nigerian military in search of weapons.Below is what he wrote....


"Today my house and the entire parish was turned inside out by the military in-search for weapons. They say I keep weapons, for heaven sake, I don't do weapon. The Fulani herdsmen go about with heavy weapons killing innocent people and never a day has any one of them been harassed by the military.
There are instances where the military have even assisted them to carry out their attacks on Defenseless citizens. The soldiers we have in this country are one sided. Why are they trying to divide the very country they are called to defend on religious line. Would they have done this to an imam or the mosque?'

To a typical Nigerian sexagenarian and many above this age (especially those who have found themselves in leadership positions), hard work means spending 12 hours working on the farm and thrusting the hoe deep in the soil with every ounce of strength. It is measured in "man-hours" and not "efficiency" - that's the mentality.

He is too traditional and resistant to 'change' or any improved way of livelihood other than that which he is already conversant with. He prides himself as "too genius" and "experienced" to learn anything new. He is proudly "old-school".

Not all though, quite a few have lived up to modern trends. Unfortunately not many of such are leaders or interested in leadership positions.

And this mentality have been passed unto the younger generation. If you are of middle aged in this country, then the phrase "go to school, study hard, graduate with a good grade and get a good job" shouldn't sound alien to you.

That was then, when there were white kola jobs (as they called it), when the population was not yet 195million, when the FOREX from crude oil sale was enough for everyone.

Our leaders became lazy and they infected the entire populace with this laziness. No real efforts were made to diversify our economy and create jobs for the exponentially growing population. With crude oil, we thought ourselves as rich.

And that is what led us to the precarious situation we find ourselves today.

As the years progress, the country continues to sink deeper and closer to abyss. Yet we have this same crop of analogue leaders taking us through that same road we undertook and found ourselves where we are today.

These are the people who think corruption can be fought by the frowning face of an old wrinkled president (they call it body language) or by invading peoples homes Gestapo and recovering 'looted cash'.

They have this mentality that rehabilitating a few roads and building a few bridges would end poverty in the land or money accruing from the exploration of earth resources should be enough to be shared and everyone would live comfortably.

But beyond our shores and our continent, the world is evolving fastly and developing at a pace most of us term as "metaphysical".

The world economy has moved through the age of hunter-gathering, Agriculture and Industry to Technology, knowledge and innovation. Many nations of the world are now investing more in technology, health, infrastructure and knowledge; good educational systems that give birth to skilled entrepreneurs vis-à-vis strengthening state institutions that can stand firmly no matter the tsunami.

And where are we?

Still in that age where a president lists 'rehabilitation of roads' as a big achievement and we clap.

The world has moved from that age of 'hard work' to 'smart work'. You don't have to thrust so hard, all you need do is develop a tool that does the work or learn to use it properly.

We (the youth) have been sold that crap narrative that we cannot be any good if given the opportunity to lead and some of you have swallowed that hook, line and sinker.

But that's a very fat lie!

A typical Nigerian youth is a born entrepreneur, an intellect on his own who struggles without any good tools yet succeeds. I have come across quite a good number of youths who have worked so hard even in this hell called a country accomplishing boundles feats.

Only a patriotic, compassionate and rational leader with a youthful mindset that employs creativity and ingenuity in governance is capable of turning around the fortunes of this country.

The era of stiff minded polithiefcians-cum-bullies who are only interested in power and power alone is over.


Now is the time!! All youths awake!!

#Get your PVC. Vote in better leaders#

It's good to believe the saying, "do not judge a book by its cover", but again the cover of a book can give a reader a prior idea of what's actually contained in the book. True, but not all the time. On other occasions, the cover page of a book can be completely misleading. Realistically, it's hard to tell what's inside a book without opening it.

For example, you'll never know how good a guy will be in bed, not unless you give him a try. Generalisations with regards this can be so misleading. Perhaps you will end up disappointed as a result of your too high expectations.

You must have heard all these in the locker room but it's not really true.


Guys that bite nails

It is believed that because nail biters push themselves to extreme limits, he most certainly would do the same in the bedroom. But NO, nail biting is rather a symptom of being lost, not having any idea on what to do next. Well, imagine a guy biting his nails hard and looking at you - not knowing where to start.


Intelligent Guys

Ladies think the more intelligent a guy is in class, the sweeter he will be in bed. But how about that intelligent inexperienced guy or the one who is only a learner.


He loves pets

I really don't know what women see as so sexy about a guy who has a pet and how it relates to how good he'll be in bed. Well, that's their cup of tea.


Not-so-good-looking guys

I have chatted with girls who believe that ugly guys generally are well endowed and know exactly what to do in bed. If you are one, be careful though. Research have found that the uglier a guy, the more likely he'll be a rapist (am not serious, just for laffs)


A muscular body build

There is no doubt that guys with a great muscular body build are more attractive and last longer in bed. It is also assumed that the big guys should have a more than average size down below. But believe me, it's only imaginative. You may be disappointed at what you'll find down there.


He's got big feet

We have all heard it before, that a big feet means a big package and a big package should mean "something sweeter and better". Well, research have proved all these myths to be false as there is no relationship whatsoever between the size of a man's feet and the size of his package or how good he'll be in bed.

More on chofam

1. Understand that she is afraid of falling in love and getting hurt yet again. She is never letting you in right away.

2. Make her understand that love is not pain and in spite of her stern resistance, you are never giving up on her.

3. Make her feel more confident in herself and use every opportunity to grow some trust.

4. You must convince her that despite her damaged self, she is still worthy of true love and happiness. And you are the only one who can give it to her.

5. Take it slow, be patient, do not rush at getting intimate with her.

6. Be sincere with her always, let your word be what you mean and always be true to your word

7. Lastly, if you are not a hundred percent sure about your feelings then you better stay away!

More on chofam

The body of a 33 year old man who was executed and buried last friday is nowhere to be found.

The man named Jesus Joseph from Bethlehem in Judaea who was a powerful itinerant preacher, evangelist and miracle worker was arrested during the Jewish passover feast by Chief priests and scribes led by the High Priest Caiaphas, for his utterances and teachings which they called blasphemous and capable of inciting rebellion against the state.
A hurried and stongly manipulated trial which found him guilty condemned him to death amidst loud clamours of a frenzied crowd calling for his immediate crucifixion.

It is wont for one criminal to be released by the state each passover, but this time citizens preferred a notorious terrorist and insurrectionist, Barrabas to be freed and Jesus crucified with two other criminal convicts.

Jesus, after the body racking whippings and gruesome torture was crucified and his corpse laid in a new tomb and tightly sealed with a large stone and military sentries from the guards brigade stationed to watch over his tomb.
This morning however his tomb was found to be empty and the stone seal rolled to one side as only the linen he was enshrouded in was seen in a dishevelled pile.

In a statement by the military spokesman of the guards brigade, he said the body was probably removed by those he believed were the disciples of the executed cleric while the sentries slept at midnight. This statement however is a serious indictment of the sentries as it exposes their indolence sleeping on duty.

Many of disciples clearly are confounded and astonished but some remember clearly that he had often spoken about his death and how he would overcome death resurrect after three days when buried, for many it is a significant and astounding proof that the man who they loyally followed is truly the Messiah and son of God.

The tomb site now has hundreds of citizens thronging to behold what they found to be a seemingly incredulous incident.

HALLELUYAH, HE AROSE !!!!
HAPPY EASTER TO Y'ALL

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