Kpac:
I am coming out of my comment retirement to honestly give you an advice you so much seek for.

Foremost on my advice is that you should kindly henceforth not seek a life-saving, destiny-shaping advice like the one above on a fast degrading forum like this which has also been occupied vigorously by an equally degrading different kinds of people, these days. Its like a deer going to the den of Lions to ask for advice on how to treat Mr Rabbit his neighbor. What kind of advice do you really think their brains can process?. Their minds are adequately corrupt, they have sawdust and carbide stuffed in the brains and the remaining part of the functional part has been eroded by codeine. Just so they don't win is why i am typing this, else you take a wrong advice that would affect your life, not theirs.

Lets move on from there, you have to realize that its getting more difficult for real guys to get ladies worthy of marriage these days, and its getting worse by the day. When a lady is on facebook, instagram, wechat, whatsapp, has a badoo profile, at the same time on twitter, active on nairaland, etc, it would take a real huge grace of God to have such lady not get Vulnerable and have date so many guys as you have pointed out about your fiancee. If this didn't happen now, it would have still happened after your wedding and could turn so ugly then. I am a realist and i strictly don't deceive myself. With what you have said about your fiancee, she did a terrible mistake (which she wouldn't have regretted if you have not caught her) but she quickly followed it with sincere steps of remorse, regret and remission. She deleted her facebook account and changed her number. Whew ! Thats a huge one. Most of the ladies on this forum giving you wrong advice would NEVER changed their phone number for any man. Your fiancee did this and that shows a lot of sacrifice for a lady in this generation.

She has engaged her aunt and maybe others, and that requires taking in some great shame to have done that. If she never wanted you and loved you, she would have used that 3 Italian slaps you gave her and the German dragging her out of your house as her great Alibi to make it look like you also a devil yourself. But she did not. Despite your embarrassing shortcoming, which you need to work on yourself, she has not stopped at anything (so far) to do anything she thinks could help you decide to forgive her.

You are not a saint either, we have had many ladies too who asked for advice if they should go on to marry a guy who gave them 3 Japanese slaps and dragged them from his house Fashola-style. Though what you discovered of your beloved fiancee was heartbreaking but please, you also need to look inside the mirror and ask yourself if you really think you're matured enough to get married. You seem to have a long way to go with your temperament - which of course collapses a marriage even faster than adultery.

As for she dating many guys in the past, its unfortunate, but she actually trusted all those guys is why she dated them but they had nothing to offer her. The past is the past and should be left in the past. If you guys love each other so and very much and have decided to mutually live your lives with each other, then Behold, all things have become new. Dont get married to her and be taunting her with her past again. That singular act breaks a woman's heart harder than seeing their husband on their maid. A man has to have a big matured mind and a huge restraining mind to be a successful husband.

In a nut shell, its human to make mistakes and its human to forgive. Nigerians hate that word forgiveness and that's why our society has been rounding a no-progress circle for ages. You can even deduce that from our beloved Nigerian film, they would never forgive any evil doer in their films, If they cannot find any quicker and harsher death for that evil doer, who has even repented, the next scene you would see is that the person walks away after bitterly rolling on the floor and asking for forgiveness, then suddenly a car speed to him/her, hits him/her and the person dies instantly. That's when they can end that film. They cant even give the person a chance to get to the hospital before he / she dies. Never. So its in our culture to hate to forgive, but you have to forgive your fiancee because she has really done everything she could after that interesting discovery.

Finally, please ensure its not just Facebook she deletes. Try to call her your own self, in a calm voice (cos she would have probably gotten so afraid of you after those slaps and drags), ask her to come meet you, then do your manly talks to ask her to tell you everything she thinks you should know now before you find out at anytime in the future and it gets too late. I assure you that you would need to sincerely talk very well, long and convince her she can trust you whereas you should also be very very prepared to be matured enough to hear anything and immediately shove it to the past. When she has confessed everything, you guys should jointly make decisions that would not affect your marriage henceforth. So, if she has a secret badoo profile for example, or she even has a username on a nude website, you should both there and then delete them all and please take her back to start a new life.

I assure you, there are worse ones out there. The ones on this forum are even worse. If you were dating any of them, you would have been in jail now with that your temper cos you would have killed them and even hang their corpse.

Goodluck Bro.

addictiv:

The blunt truth is PEOPLE DONT CHANGE! !! They may pretend to behave well for a while but the old fox always comes knocking. You two probably deserve each other. You re not only insecure and a control freak but also abusive and a wife beater, you knew she has dated so many guys and the fact that you cant move past it tells a lot about you.Come to think of ityou didn't tell us that you were celibate after you two broke up the first time. And she is a lying, whoring b*tch. Who is ready to sell herself for a plate of moi moi. If you think she is not going to get screwed, fvck*d, drilled to stupor by a couple of big and small gods aside you then you re in for a shocker. Thank your lucky stars her family is begging probably because you have good financial or career prospects cos trust me you ll be in the net of SARS or worse if the tables were turned or when she finds a guy with better prospects. Marriage is a revealer, this is just the beginning. She can cry out blood today but won't stop her from eating the forbidden fruit 2mao, so take her back and the next time she says hi to a guy knock her teeth out and tell us how you were provoked and couldn't control yourself.

lenghtinny:


Don't take her back

Forgive her but don't marry her. Don't let the emotional blackmail fool you. Let the uncle take her as a second wife instead of eating his leftover.

Such girls with a long list of men in their romantic curriculum vitae are prone to Okafor's law of Congodynamics whether single or married.

martolux:
You may be talking based on your own experience but nothing is permanent on this planet of ours...People change and there is no permanent circumstance....some married as a virgin and become a LovePeddler after marriage.....thats how complicated life can be at times

Electronics:

Let he without sin be the first to cast a stone, we have flawed in one way or the other, the only difference is that we were not caught in the act and that does not mean we are holy.
Bro I totally understand your situation but so long as you love her so much and after the three wonderful slaps, she still kept begging and swearing she wouldn't do such again, I believe everyone deserves a second chance. Just accept her but watch her closely and you would see for yourself if she truly has changed. Then and there, you can make your final decision. My 1kobo contribution.

lereinter:

let me ask

is it after u started the serious affiar with her that she sent nude to the man

did the man send her dollars

if u dont catch her thats a different case


Yeah bro.. It was after we started dating. Like 2months ago this scenario happen o



its hard o

involve your own people

pcguru1:
You can't change a broken person the next time she will be much more smarter when doing this, you will always have it at your back that she's cheating, its up to you, can you live like that for the rest of your life with doubts at your back, and let's make one thing clear she's not the only woman in the world yeah it might be harder but does it mean we should settle for less .

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Lemme reserve my comment

martolux:
Seems you have been dating out of pity for you to have the audacity to slap her...Op try to know what her problem is....Is it money or sex? proper communication will give you more insight about who she is (a nympho or just after affluence). In relationship, needs can be met but greed, never!....But op, you need to be in control of your temper...never lay your hands on any woman again, it makes you less a man.

Babiod:
hope they're not trying to dump her for you since her mates don dey marry...lol

verygudbadguy:

She is a lady but she has seen the movie " think like a man, act like a lady so many times.

Man up, love forgives. If truly u love her, u will forgive her buy not until restitution. Quit laying ur hands on a lady. Not cool at all.

If you deem her non-wife material after all, quit jejely.

donstan18:
One thing we should know is that until a lady is married, she's still single and a packaged prostitute.

She might be seen as a retired one once she's married. The earlier we get this the better for us.

Even a wise Nigerian lady will agree with me that they are packaged prostitute parading as girlfriend.


OP, you shouldn't have slapped her, she's not your wife, you don't owe her, you assumed she must have dated so many men, but you didn't tell us how many ladies you've dated.

Once your girlfriend cheat or misbehave. Kindly break up or forgive.

Don't hit a woman who is not your wife because she cheated. Don't even hit a woman atall, even if she's your wife.

Your action didn't make you a man, learn to act less and think smart when provoked by a woman.

bjayx:
Now that you know all these, what else do U want to hear from Us

pocohantas:


There are different types of uncles. Biological, Romantic, Spiritual and Academic.


Mayweather!

Anyway, are you single now?
Make another babe enter set.

Gidilagoon:




Lol.. advice jor. No be f@cking matter Dey ground now

Bintabisiriyu:

Kai bad gyal, I need to fu,ck you.

LazyNairalander:

It free to create a post on nairaland.
go to the right section eg if it's a sport issue go "sport" on it you will see "create a post" click on it and follow the instructions.
Hope this helps!