What if the house was meant to be a surprise like she said? Men do this a lot and I doubt if their wives have the power to kick them out of the house like this man did?

These days, I don't blame women for working their nerves out to stay independent while married. Some men could kick you out of 'their' house at the slightest provocation and what happens when you have no place to stay and no means to support yourself?

You can colour the man white and paste him all righteous as you like, the fact that the lady started building a house and the husband kicked her out of her matrimonial home rings a bell. She simply got tired of being ordered to leave each time an argument took place.

What's your business with how your sister choose to live her life? Have you helped her out financially yourself? Is it easy raising a child alone let alone two for a recklessly irresponsible man?

You can only advise her not to have more children. It's obvious the marriage died a natural death a long time ago and the two parties involved have moved on. What gives you the assurance the man is not with some other women? Mind your business please.

No be too much oily fish again, it's now zobo. Zobo that I drank frequently while pregnant and breastfeeding. Na wa ooooo.

102

It depends on who you're married to. Even after 5 years of marriage with a child, I prefer being single and now that job won't let me be under the same roof with the man I'm married to, I enjoy my freedom and have lots of peace within.

PierreDeFermat:
shut up and stop equating yourself with men. your type are mostly prostitutes. didnt you see the number of women king Solomon married and had as concubines? and yet,he is one of your heroes in the bible. if he was a woman,her story would have been about a evil woman being legendary in prostitution. men are polygamous,that's how God created us and if you don't support that,go and fight God or question him for setting it that way

I don't argue with archaic folks like you, preach your epistle of the polygamous nature of men to those in your class. Only a fool expect total loyalty from a spouse he/she had cheated on.

Hypocrites everywhere. If the woman were to divorce the man coz he brought home a child outside wedlock, some funny characters would definitely criticise and won't mind crucifying her. Some will even tell her to keep praying for him. Mtcheeeew! Why not advise the holier than thou with no blemish herbalist to also pray for the wife and take care of the child after all that's the same advice most people would give the woman if she were the victim.

ipobarecriminals:
"sew" them on top of another customers money abi?Dey forced the loan on her/she asked for it?Dey there dey speak grammar.I'm in that system too,so i knw watsap.

Did you bother reading what I responded to? They have no right to defame her on credit bureau. She was paying instalmentally while employed, what make them think she has enough fund to clear the loan now that she's been dismissed.

SweetJoystick:


It's not like if she doesn't pay now they will come after her. It will only dent her credit rating. What that means is that she would have a bad loan rating, if she even pays much later and secures another employment elsewhere and applies for a loan, be it commercial or staff loan, it might not be granted because her rating would have been dented as a defaulter in credit bureau

She can sue them for that. Most Banks would consider restructuring from Staff loan to commercial loan or go after 'naive' guarantors due to the uncertainty of the loan recovery duration.

In this era of MicroRate Client Protection palaver, recovering this type of loan can take like forever coz as a Bank, you can't force a client to repay a loan when he/she has no means of sustenance let alone repayment. As a Bank, all you can do is either wait till he/she secure a means of likelihood and agree on an instalment which might take like forever in this present economy or try your luck by going after her guarantors.

Mind you, a learned guarantor won't make such repayments coz the default isn't voluntary on the part of the client. Events of job loss, death, fire outbreak, flood and other natural disasters are not usually included in the guarantee form, insurance and restructuring do take care of such.

Repayment by restructuring do take long. Ideally, you only have the right to blacklist such clients on Credit Bureau if there are evidence that you have contacted the client and yet he/she refused to pay after securing a means of livelihood.

In a contry like Nigeria, this loan is as good as a write off, repayment might never come back. I smell termination due to fraud or flaunting any of the contractual terms here anyway coz if the job loss is due to downsizing, the person involved won't be compelled to pay.

Cheating happens a lot these days. Her husband even respected her by not bringing the gf home. Mine decided to bring home his coz I now work and stay on the island. Was I bothered? NO!

I noticed each weekend I go home, the bowl of stew and soup I prepare the previous week would have finished and my husband is not the cooking type. He kept giving excuses of how his friends do pay visit during the week and finish it off. I became confused when he told me to prepare peppered snail few weekends back and I know he doesn't eat snail. I knew he would lie if I asked him why so I decided to check his phone, there it was, the lady giving him orders of the food I should prepare when I come around during the weekend. She even told him he must buy her the type of my blue heels she saw on the rack.

So I got this ZP lethal powder for rodents, coat and fry the snail with it to make it crunchy. Sincerely, I really didn't care if he eat the snail along with her at that point. So two weekends ago, I saw her messages on his phone of how he's such an asshole, abandoned her in the hospital, didn't finish paying her bills and have the guts to dump her stuffs by her side on the hospital bed with his response of how they both ate the same food for two days and only her got sick meaning she knew she was getting sick before coming over, he's exhausted all his money on her, have his rent to renew plus she knows he's married and can't be with her or tend to her needs all the time.

When I checked bowl I used to ice the snail, it was only three pieces left which I quickly discarded coz of my son. Some idiots really don't deserve mercy.

UdyOgwoUde:
Before you tag it "rape" you should ask if the alleged victim enjoyed it.

I pray this happen to your daughter some day so that you can ask her the question. If you have a child, you won't dare say this.

Exposing a side dish won't stop your husband from cheating. Focus on yourself more, if you don't want to sleep with other men, get yourself a vibrator, watch videos on how to use it. No need killing yourself over a man, just do whatever will keep you sane in the marriage if you don't want divorce.

A lot of women have long lost interest in whatever their husbands do outside marriage not because they don't have blood running in their veins but because they've figured out some other way to keep sane in the marriage, that way they don't get hurt anymore. Na who love dey worry dey develop hypertension over a cheating husband.

olujastro:
Ecobank with highest customers' deposits? Is Nigeria now an ageing population?

Many of them are dormant, Banks are smart, they'll make sure there is a debit/credit transaction in form of sevice charge and interest posting every 3-4 months just to keep pushing dormant clients back into their active client base.

Some Microfinance Banks are far better than these commercial Banks in terms of CSR and Philanthropy.

Please don't quit your job till you get a better one.

TyushTal:
Kemi Olunloyo, if by coincidence, you're reading this.
PM me!

Let's hook up

Lol. Abeg leave my Aunty Kemi alone ooooo.

kimbraa:
You and the girls who go about sleeping with married men for financial/material gains hold same mentality. I think you deserved what you got from your husband 'cause you were possibly sleeping with married men before he came into the picture and you still are 'cause you can't fend for yourself and a child you brought into the world. You want a comfortable life at the expense of another woman's husband.

Wait 'till his wife figures you out. That's why when they disgrace your likes I don't feel sympathy. I'm not a saint, but I don't sleep with married men for any reason. I'd rather do those menial jobs than be the reason any home would break. "Let no man put asunder in what God has joined together" you're going against that scripture and such actions backfires. Anyway, when the man is tired of fùcking and paying your bills he's bound to dump you for a newer pussy.

Am I complaining? Why my matter dey pain you? Many Nigerians applied for the job, wrote some fake test this year and some are still chatting on their nairaland thread waiting for a miracle to happen when some of us have started the job. Is it my fault that you either have a Godfather or do as some politician pleases before you get some high paying Govt jobs in Nigeria despite your juicy degrees and qualifications?

Let him dump me for a newer pussy nah, he don over try for me sef. Besides the women you're defending knows they're presently three in number and more might still join. They're Hausa Muslims and don't even share in your orientation towards marriage so why una dey disturb yourself sister?

kimbraa:
Your husband was cheating on you with reckless abandon without even caring for you and his child but was rather using up your savings on his series of girlfriends. Here you are, dating another woman's husband who's footing your bills and may or maynot be as nice as he's to you to the wife, and you're happy you found yourself a good man.

How will other women leave your man when you can't leave another woman's property?. Karma is a Bìtch!, just look at what married couples have reduced themselves to. Don't you ever feel you're in-between another woman's happiness just like the whòres your husband was sleeping with were on yours?. Does your conscious ever judge you that you're on the wrong path? Cause indeed you're on the wrong path.

You better advice yourself 'cause nothing good comes out of dating a married man.

Thanks Madam, I haven't told you I want him back or want his gfs to leave him. They can have him to themselves, I'm happy with my new job (it's Govt owned anyway) and my once in a blue moon man. Who cares who sleep with who these days? That you're faithful to a man doesn't mean someone else won't sleep with him.

If you're in my shoes, you'll throw away the offer coz the man is asking you out and go about begging friends for money or submit your CV to U-connect or other recruiting firm begging for a teller or transaction officer job and watch them say it to your face that you're too qualified for the job coz you have two M.Scs even though you're desperate for it. Would you clean a fast food with a wage not enough to feed your son, they don't even pay you on time until you're almost crying for it.

Madam Saint, if you've not walked in people's shoes, learn to read comments and ignore, after all you're not Lala247 I was talking to. No need to quote me and rant your nonsense coz life has been fair to you.

Lalas247:

Hian
Investigating ke na wa ... no trust now
You are right quitting career for a man is a no no ... that's another thing too, when the family supports infidelity so sad
Very valid point by forgiving he may do way worse so she should do what is best for her .. just don't want to give her the wrong advice as I am not married so don't know how it feels to be in that situation but after reading your story
I get what you mean now

Sorry o hope you are now in a better place and happy marriage is a risky business we can only hope and pray we are with the right spouse

I'm happier now and in a more better place. Some marriages are not just worth it my sister. People will only tell her to keep praying for him and endure whatever comes her way coz it's the man's world, he can do as he pleases. He can infects her with diseases and gets away with it, after all she's married to him and her life should revolve around him.

Lalas247:

Thanks .. so if in that situation will you forgive and stay?

Hers is just a chat, mine was worse, I went through hell. I used to work in the South South till I got married and have a baby for a Lagosian Igbo man who not only frustrated me but instigated friends, families and parents against me till I quit the job to move in with him as the company has no branch where I could function in Lagos. That was the worst mistake I would ever make.

Within 4 months, my savings was gone coz he was always taking from me with the empty promises that he'll pay back. I was broke, tattered and wretched. The day I went through his phone was the great revelation of my life, this man sleeps around recklessly, the women were so many, he spends lavishly on them, spend most of the days he told he had travelled with them leaving me and my child to starve in an environment we have nobody. He would make calls to his girlfriends in Igbo language right in my presence coz I'm Yoruba who doesn't understand Igbo but my instincts always tells me when this happens.

At some point I was so bittered I had to send some of his chats to myself via mail from his phone and send it to his family members ad evidence when they kept defending him. My dear, nothing happened ooo, they only told me to keep praying for him, even my parents threatened to disown me if I divorce him coz they're elders in church.

As luck would have it, I met a man who changed my story from sorry to sweet song. He helped me get a good job and a small flat close to my working place to avoid Island holdup and stress, my son stays with me and I can afford his school fees now, we only go to his father's house one or two free weekends in a month. My new man is more elderly and married too so he doesn't put any pressure on me and sex with him is better than the one with my hubby.

Your friend can either stay with her hubby and do whatever makes her happy if she's from a funny home and background like mine where ladies are expected to endure sufferings in their marriage or she should quit and never look back coz cheating husbands usually don't change, all they do is bring out the worse in you.

Lalas247:
So I have a friend whose been married for 3 years now she has a daughter, she is Southafrican but her husband is Nigerian Yoruba guy...
She went through his laptop where she found messages to an old fling back in Nigeria he told the lady he Loves Her
Long story short she now want to leave him because she said it's the same as cheating even though the guy has begged ans swore he hasn't been with anyone else since they got married.

Thought please...

Cc mynd44 lalasticlala

I'm surprised when a married woman with a child/children complain her husband is cheating. My dear, what else does she wants from him? She already has a child nah. No man (my husband inclusive) is worth being faithful to. She should step up her game for other men to discover her.

Most men out there are even sweeter and more caring than her husband. Why should one kill herself of heart attack over one man when there are several men out there. I'm talking from experience. Nothing my husband does makes sense to me anymore even the sex I used to think was great is now so boring, just doing it to fulfil all righteousness. The sweetest and most caring are usually not the one we end up with so why the stress?

menstrualpad:

Another prostitute

Ehya! It's nairaland and everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. So my comment pain you reach like this? Anyway, why should I bother myself exchanging words with something meant for absorbing monthly period.

Men cheat more so why the blame game?

It's just a peck biko, no big deal. no be today people dey do office peck, if it annoys her so much, she can always get someone to peck too.

There's no faithfulness in most marriages these days. Men cheat, Women cheat, just don't be caught.

emperormossad:

Well balanced? Yes. Ultimate results? Unhappiness, STDS, lack of trust, disharmony...I think you and I wouldn't wish these on ourselves or any other person. Not good. So I think it's a big deal. For everyone involved.

Well that's your own theory, not mine. Disease or no disease, everyone's going to die anyway.

emperormossad:
That's not true. Fallacy of generalization.

Fallacy or reality, sincerely, I don't care.

emperormossad:

Two wrongs don't make a right.

Two wrongs makes no one feel cheated. It's a well balanced equation, no big deal.

emperormossad:
Most men?

Yes, Most Men.

All I know is that most MEN are not worth staying faithful to. All these extramarital affairs ranting would stop when women realise this and also play along.

Take good care of yourself, look good and eat well, I can assure you, someone better will show interest in you, shikena!

Avalon316:


So what consequences are you proposing for men who cheat? Death by hanging? Why is so difficult for women of these generation to admit that men are polygamous (just like the girls in their teen) and a pussy can't Satisfy a man. The earlier they understand this,the better.

If you want to feel better, you can go on with the "men are dogs" rant. It's allowed.

The same reason I won't advise any married woman to be faithful to her cheating husband. He cheats, I cheat and the other men even spend much more on me than he does. I take good care of myself and have time for my child. Most times when he's caught in his Web of lies, I shake it off.

What he does doesn't bother me any more unlike before since I now have someone better than him. So why should a woman pray hard and die of high blood pressure over a cheating husband when there's always another man interested in her? Just that some women don't want to cheat but the truth is that most of those other men interested in her are more caring than her cheating husband.

JuneOctober:


It could be they had a hot argument. Anger is some people's undoing. Once they get angry, which comes easily, they refuse to think straight anyone. They can do anything to silent the other party. Some people's anger is just very terrible. But no matter what he did, stabbing him to do is not justifiable. She just took someone's life.

Stuffs like this are bound to happen in some families. Some of these married women we see daily are walking atomic bombs, they've moved past depression to madness.

What else do you expect in a setting where all they keep telling aggrieved married women is 'keep praying for him', 'you just have to endure'. No one cares about the women's psychological wellbeing and some men do terrible things deliberately to hurt the women because it is assumed women have no choice than to bear whatever happens in marriage. Then one day, a woman who has long given up on herself lost it completely and hack a man to death at the slightest provocation.

A woman who commit such crime won't mind killing herself or going to prison as long as the object of her mental instability is dead, this is how badly some women have been emotionally battered. I don't support killing ones husband, when it gets to that level of having an urge to kill, it's better to quit the marriage and let some idiots tell you you don't know how to keep a man.

Except the man in question married an insane woman, there's a lot we don't know.