afdman: @op, you said 6months, please find out the current state of that boy, I must commend you, that you have started something trying to educate your mum on her bad behaviour, but am sorry to say you have not done anything substancial for that boy, your mother has broken his spirit, and God forbid you get a call one day saying your mother is dead and was stabbed to death by that boy. Do something now, make a bolder move and get that boy out of that house, its obvious that boy hates your mum and hate is a dangerous tool in the hands of the devil. Am sure you have not thot about it from this angle, well now think about it. God bless you and God help rescue that poor boy from the evil doings of your mum.

Thanks for the advice. I really will keep trying. I need God to give me wisdom. It's not easy at all.

andromida:

Poster take this advice. Stand your ground because you are 101% right and justified.From what you have said about your mom even if you had spoken to her in the most mellow of voices, she would still be ignoring you. This her silence et al is all part of manipulating you and NO you will not reap a broken relationship with your daughter just because you stood up for your beliefs and the truth and yes poster do write the letter. Try to make peace without without giving an inch of ground on the fact that she is wrong. Pls just get that man out of there moaning about his situation without doing anything about it looks like- just moaning.

Thanks.

davidylan:

Did you say your mom takes her "christian faith" seriously? Apparently she never read how God asks us to treat our bondservants?
Your mom is wicked, vengeful, malicious and a religious hypocrite. She needs prayers.

She goes to church religiously, prays all the time, quotes Bible passages off the top of her head and has written a Christian book. She doesn't believe there's a better Christian than herself. I don't go to church so often etc so she really believes she's in the right.

2mch: If all you are saying is true. Then am sorry, but your mum has mental, anger, emotional and psychological problems. The fact that she cannot see what evil she is doing shows this. She is even potentially damaging a generation. She has psychologically damaged that boy for life. The question you should be asking here is how to get her help at Aro, and also the boy help at counselling, to rehabilitate him. Trust me, the curse she is placing on you and your generation unborn,is immense. To cleanse yourself and family of this wickedness and karma, its best you take the boy out of the situation and help him. Should he die one day in her care, your whole family will be thoroughly shamed. It only takes him being hit in the wrong place, or just his spirit giving up on life. Wow, what a very sadistic bi*tch. Try and find a mature woman for this your mum that can punch her eyes out. Try not to take your kids or anyone's kids near such a person. Did your father run away? And are you all girl kids? Am saying this because she may be taking out her anger against men on this boy.

I know I can never suffer for her actions towards him cos I don't condone it. Also my dad commends me for speaking up but he cant do much as he has been emasculated. He tells me that God will keep blessing me. The life I live now years ago I could only dream of. I just always like to have a clear conscience hence my concern about the way I spoke to her (By the way I shouted at her that she is a wicked person as she is fond of calling people who she can't have her way with "wicked" so I told her the definition of wicked is man's inhumanity to man and she is actually the wicked one).

I am pleasantly surprised at the responses I'm getting. I thought people would be more focussed on Mum being sacred etc but the responses have made me a little more confident. Also she usually is the kind of person who if wronged would tell everyone she can so they can all bombard you with guilt trips and make you come to her to apologise. So far its been 6 months and she has said absolutely nothing to anyone about me annoying her and her wanting an apology. I guess she knows she's wrong so I think I'm just going to stand my ground until whenever she raises the topic then I'll rehash the matter and find a permanent solution which will suit this boy then apologise to her. Thank you all...I really appreciate every single comment.

toyemz: @poster

I can only imagine how you feel.
However honestly speaking, I think its time that someone stood up to her, she seems to have gotten away with a lot for so long.You have made your stand,stay firm on it.She has to be made to see that she is doing wrong!
Unfortunately the young man is an adult,who basically can make the decision to walk away anytime he wants.He doesnt have to go back to his parents,but I'm pretty sure that he realises he has nothing else going for him in the outside world. Does he have any skills, besides, being a houseboy?
See if you can get through to him,try and build up some confidence on what he wants to do in life,work with him along that line and save towards it.It has to be break and make for him,however how small.He just needs to have something going for him on the outside world.
As for your mother,only she can decide to stop,but you can make her see reason.
One thing I know for sure,is that everytime that poor soul cries out in pain, questions God as to why he was born,every time he sheds tears due to what she's done to him,she is taking one step near to Hell.
There is a song that goes:
'I was cold,I was hungry
were you there? were you there?
I was tired,I was thirsty
were you there? were you there?
and the creed and the colour
and the name doesnt matter
were you there? were you there?'

we should try to see Jesus in every soul that needs help and kindness,when we can
especially as it was given to us in the first place
Be strong.let her be the one to break and see reason
you might just be preventing something bad from happening in the future
if the poor boy dies because of her would you be reaching out to comfort her then?
your action now might be the stitch in time that saves nine
God be your strength and your direction
Amen

Thanks for your post. It really touched me. I feel the only way I can really help is when I relocate which could be in 2 - 3 years time! I have discussed him leaving to his parent's and finding a trade etc but the father keeps asking him to stay and even threatens to kill him if he comes back (I think this is an empty threat though..I think the real reason is cos my mum sends him money from time to time). My husband will support anything I do but says I should just ignore her for now and see how it goes.

jennykadry: Trust me, if my mum did half of what your mum did, I would have dismothered her . I went to the same school with two of our maids. I remember the day my mum smacked me so bad because she over heard one of our maids then call me "Aunty". I think I was about 13 or 14 then. Her reason for smacking me was she expected me to tell the maid not to call me aunty but I didn't. My father walked these girls down the aisle on their wedding their day, my mum was the mother of the day on each and every occasion mind you they asked her to be, she did not volunteer. Truthfully though she can be stubborn but not wicked. None of us have ever been stranded and I know part of it could be as a result of the way my mum welcomed people into her home.

I saw a girl in 2010 about 16 yrs old, an orphan who wants to study medicine. I told my mum I felt a connection with that girl cos she was just too smart and had this huge appetite to study and the first thing my mother said to me after finding out so much about the girl was "Adopt her(if your husband agrees)and take care of her, I mean take her with you. Such brain should not be wasted". She had issues of smacking us all when we were kids like every mother did but not like this biko.

You are very lucky to have such a mum. I wish I had that.

ifyalways: This is very depressing,i cant even concentrate on the amu m ji n'aka before.
If the boy could call you then hes reaching out for help.So his parents are so poor that they would rather have him dead?I rebuke poverty!!!
Have you thought of giving ur friend money to help rescue the boy?Perhaps you should call the boy and discuss an escape plan with him.He might have ideas but fear and trust issues(if i were him,i wont trust u totally) is still drawing him back.And theres still the welfare/social service option though the best route would have been u removing the boy directly.
May God give u ideas and the strenght and grace to carry it through.That boy is in my prayers.

The problem with him running is he has no where to run to. He has asked me several times if I will ever relocate and has said he would like me to take him. My bestfriend can accommodate him if he runs to her and I can always send her money for his needs. That's the best I can do. I really don't know what else. His dad tells him to endure and try to be sharper so she won't need to beat him so much but I have seen her get angry with him and I can say there is nothing he does that will stop her. She'll send him on 2 errands at a time and get angry that he ignored one. It doesn't make sense at all.

jennykadry:

Worked wonders for me a few years ago. My own mother offended me and untop of that was proving right, she was actually going to send me slap via the phone. .I told her to her kindly that she had to apologise to me, the woman being a very stubborn woman like me did not bulge, hung up that day with anger but not before telling her that my talking to her again will depend on if she apologises. Anyways after a few days I started feeling bad tried to call her but couldn't get through so rang my father instead, her phone's battery had gone dead and she was charging it. Anyways I ended up not speaking to her again and I just said pheww time to show some tough love. So whenever my father rung me up, I would never ask of her or how she was doing even though it killed me. I would call my father at night and speak to him without speaking to her, my dad will be like "Your mum is here, do you wanna talk to her?" whenever he asked me that question I would just hang up. This went on for sometime and when she realized that I wasn't going to throw in the towel, she rung me up and I ignored the call and gbam she sent me a message, "I will be visiting in 2 weeks, I love you". Oh boy, my heart began to race like someone who was in AF, that woman has never told me she loves me IN WORDS .The day we trashed the whole situation, it was like two lions refusing to admit to their mistakes after a while she gave up and said, Ok I'm sorry and I was like "ehen now you are talking, come on now let me greet you properly".

Since then I have never had such issues with her.

OP, I hope my story helps you. MY Opinion? Ignore her completely.

I like your post cos that sounds like me and my mum. Everyone else just agrees with her but I stand my ground. She found a man for my elder sister and advised her to marry him. My sister regrets this now after having kids cos they are so different. We all went to the best of schools home and abroad and the man's educational background is still uncertain to me. She tried it with me..asking me to get married to someone that didn't even attend university and is a trader...I didn't even answer her.

Honestly sometimes I feel like I should ignore however as a mum to a little girl myself I don't want to have the same experience with my daughter. That really is my main fear. I just want to do the right thing cos we are supposed to honour our parents right? I would really like to hear from you cos it seems like our personalities are alike!

ifyalways: How old is the boy?Does he have a phone or is there a way you can speak to him directly wihout ur mom or siblings knowledge?What of his parents?
You can send an email or place a phone call to the social/welfare office of their state of origin but my fear is this,if its not lagos,abuja,enugu and rivers states then the welfare/social service might not lift a finger.
Can u get a trusted and matured friend here in naija to help?Well,if all fails,you can just send the boy a reasonably sum discreetly.That should make give him the needed "push" to go.Na real wao.

He started living with her when he was about 18yrs old so should be around 23 or 24...though he is very short and looks younger. He used to have a phone and that's how I found out about all this. He called me internationally and told me and I could tell he was really scared. He asked me not to call him back etc. I have given him money in the past for emergencies but she saw it with him and accused him of being a thief. I have had to ask my best friend who lives closeby to please take him in if he ever runs to her and have asked him to run to her house if he ever feels like his life is at stake. I feel he will never leave except she releases him. She accuses him of making me and her quarrel...telling him that she can tell that he likes it. His father tells him to endure as he is very poor and can't send him to school or feed him. In the past she has refused buying his school uniform even as she knew he was being beaten in school for not coming in the appropriate uniform. I had to send my brother money to get him the uniform. I have tried! I am close to tears as I type. It's just so sad.

ifyalways: Na wao.OP while i commend your trying to help the boy but i gotta point this out ; asking the boy to leave and promising him biz wont help,the boy has heard such lines before(probably from your mother) and see where it landed him.And that notion that your mom would seek him out is FALSE.You,just like your siblings are just scared but the question is "if it were your own child with your mom doing same things,won't you find a way to take your child to safety?"
You wanna help that boy?Write a detailed but annonymous letter to office of the public defender or get the shop/biz in another town,drive to your mom's place in a taxi when no one is around and take the boy out.
Sorry but im not so bothered about the 'reconciling with mom" part of your story.Someones child is been tortured like a salve.You can apologise for your rude behaviour later but for now,Get that boy out before Gods long arm consumes someone.

I have thought about this before but I'm scared of what the impact would be. Unfortunately I live abroad...ideally I would have liked to take him from her but that requires visa etc.

Smilenw: OP, Looks like your mom is a sadist, an evil one at that. How can you say a fellow being "belongs" to you and feels its ok to behave any which way you desire just coz you provide him food and shelter ?!What shocked me was the 'jumping on top of his head' part Too much of WWF !I hate to say this, but I hope this boy is not being s3xually abused You haven't mentioned anything about your father. If he's around, why don't you try speaking to him? You know, if I were you, I'd have tactfully begged monster momma to allow me to take the houseboy to my matrimonial home under the pretence of not getting trustworthy househelps and then rescue him from that hell. This boy too baffles me. Why isn't he trying to inform his folks of what he is going through. How much ever poor you are, no parents would want their child to go through all of these. IMO, what has happened has happened, between you and your mom. For now, leave it the way it is. If you go around begging and pleading, you'll be cementing her belief that she is not doing anything wrong. Your mother has not spoken to her own siblings for years and so I think she doesn't believe in forgetting and forgiving. Maybe you can go ahead with your plan of writing a letter, but in all probability that is not going to change her attitude. Just be patient and "HOPE" time will heal everything and if there is an iota of remorse, she'll accept you back.

My dad is around but that is another story altogether. He can talk but that only leads to a big fight. This situation actually brought my dad and I closer. As a kid he was hardly around due to work and other distractions that come with being a wealthy, stylish and goodlooking man. My mum always has nasty things to say about him (a lot of which I have come to discover are not true or just exaggerated) and up till fairly recently I really disliked him. Money-wise things for him are now the exact opposite so he doesn't really have a say in anything she does these days cos she now feeds him and she never misses an opportunity to put him in his place. I have manage to build a relationship with him and though he has his flaws he's the wisest person in my life and gives very good advice. He is the only one I can talk to about how I feel cos he gets it. He tells me not to worry but to keep trying to talk to her even if she ignores me. I'm really happy to be getting responses from here cos around me only my dad and my husband seem to understand my pain.

Hello all. Thanks for all the responses they have really been helpful. Like I said I intend to write her a letter because for one she won't talk to me and secondly I fear talking to her about the matter might only escalate it.

Generally she never believes anything she does is wrong and will stand her ground and argue that she is right even at the most obvious wrong-doing. This attitude has made her loose the closest of her brothers and sisters (they haven't spoken for years) so I can see things going that way that's why I think the letter will be the best option and then I can hope for a reply.

Believe me I am really sad that things had to degenerate to the level of me talking to her that way but I have seen her act towards vulnerable people in ways which I don't think is right before God and man but at the time I was really young and vulnerable myself however I spoke out or tried to help these people. It was more or less the same treatment she gave me and I always ended up begging her.

I have asked this houseboy to return to his parents in the village and have promised to send him money for a business but he's too scared he cannot escape for too long (my mum and his dad are 2nd cousins) so the only option now is for her to stop or send her back himself...when I asked her to send him back her reply was that he belongs to her and she will decide when he goes back.

I really don't want to have to report her to anyone except she reports me and then make me respond to the person as she's popular in the area I live and she works for the government. I don't want to be the cause of whatever may happen if people outside hear about this.

I believe in Karma, things happening for a reason etc. I am Christian but I won't say my faith is as strong as a lot of people. I don't believe that just going to church every sunday makes you a good Christian. Both my sisters have not been very fortunate in marriage and it breaks my heart to think that this could be Karma. I am very happily married and couldn't be with a better husband. I love my life and this issue is the only thing that I think about and become sad. I don't ever want to accept wickedness and begin to receive God's punishment.

Thanks for all the replies; I really appreciate them...please keep them coming.

Hello. I am hoping to get some advice on a problem that has been on my mind for a while.

For years my mother who is a legal practitioner has been maltreating her houseboy. I know how she usually is with her house helps but when I learnt the extent of this I felt I had to speak out especially as she is takes her Christian faith seriously; I felt something was wrong. She would strip him and rub pepper on his naked body and force him to sleep with the pepper on his body without the fan on in what is more or less a mosquito infested storage room; force salt down his throat; give him spoilt food to eat; ask him to lie down on the floor facing the ground and jump up and land on his head/kick him around etc. This is besides the fact that on a daily basis she slaps him, knocks his head etc. When I first learnt about this I cried to her and begged her to stop.

He is very hard-working and does every single household chore. Wakes up at 5am and goes to bed 11pm on a good day. He can be very forgetful and dull atimes although I believe a lot of his actions are because he's scared of an angry reaction. I returned home for xmas last year only to find out the same treatment was still going on and this got me really upset and I quarrelled with my mum and told her her actions towards him are one of wickedness. I have a daughter myself and would not like her to speak to me the way I did to my mum, I admit. However I am so disappointed in her and felt pushed to tell her what her actions really are. She obviously wasn't happy with me and has cut me and my family off. I sense that she doesn't want much to do with me anymore. My siblings however see what she does (she actually does a lot of it in their presence but never in front of me); They don't intervene and so in good terms with her. They know what she does is wrong but somehow they can ignore. I on the other hand can't seem to ignore.

Since she has decided to not pick my calls anymore I have decided to write her a letter to apologise for the way I spoke to her cos I really do feel bad about that...however does that mean I like my siblings will turn a blind eye to all these just to get along with her? I still feel it's wrong to treat any human being or even animal that way. I know our relationship can never go back to the way it used to.

Advice please.

Do you live in the UK and are interested in buying your BRAZILIAN HAIR at the following prices per piece? Then get in touch with me on 07551496750. Two pieces can conveniently make a full head. I can post to you wherever you are in the UK.

8"    -  £45

10"  -  £55

12"  -  £70

14"  -  £75

16"  -  £85

18"  -  £95

20"  -  £100

I am looking for serious minded people interested in buying Indian and Brazilian human hair at wholesale prices. Please get in touch with me at hairsistaz@gmail.com if this interests you.

Thanks to everyone who has shown interest in our business. We are interested in working with more buyers. Please contact us today by emailing us on hairsistaz@gmail.com for our price list or for any questions you may have. Thanks.

Good day,

We are looking for buyers of large quantities of gorgeous and healthy looking 100% Brazilian and Indian HUMAN HAIR. We can supply high grade, non-shedding Brazilian and Indian wefted human hair in various styles and sizes to suit your needs and the needs of your prospective customers. Our products are one of the highest quality you can find in the market today as we do not mix with animal or synthetic hair. They can therefore last for years if maintained well, giving good value for money. Postage to Nigeria is free of charge!!!

Interested buyers can contact us on hairsistaz@gmail.com. We will be very happy to hear from you and endeavour to respond to all emails within 24 hours of receiving them.

Good day,

We are looking for buyers of large quantities of Brazilian and Indian hair. We can supply high quality, non-shedding Brazilian and Indian wefted human hair in various styles and sizes to suit your needs.

Interested buyers can contact us on hairsistaz@gmail.com TODAY. We endeavour to respond to all emails within 24 hours of receiving them.



[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.1&disp=inline&zw[/img]
[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.2&disp=inline&zw[/img]
[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.3&disp=inline&zw[/img]
[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.4&disp=inline&zw[/img]

Good day,

We are looking for buyers of large quantities of Brazilian and Indian hair. We can supply high quality, non-shedding Brazilian and Indian wefted human hair in various styles and sizes to suit your needs.

Interested buyers can contact us on hairsistaz@gmail.com TODAY. We endeavour to respond to all emails within 24 hours of receiving them.



[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.1&disp=inline&zw[/img]
[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.2&disp=inline&zw[/img]
[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.3&disp=inline&zw[/img]
[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.4&disp=inline&zw[/img]

Good day,

We are looking for buyers of large quantities of Brazilian and Indian hair. We can supply high quality, non-shedding Brazilian and Indian wefted human hair in various styles and sizes to suit your needs.

Interested buyers can contact us on hairsistaz@gmail.com TODAY. We endeavour to respond to all emails within 24 hours of receiving them.



[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.1&disp=inline&zw[/img]
[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.2&disp=inline&zw[/img]
[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.3&disp=inline&zw[/img]
[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.4&disp=inline&zw[/img]

Good day,

We are looking for buyers of large quantities of Brazilian and Indian hair. We can supply high quality, non-shedding Brazilian and Indian wefted human hair in various styles and sizes to suit your needs.

Interested buyers can contact us on hairsistaz@gmail.com TODAY. We endeavour to respond to all emails within 24 hours of receiving them.



[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.1&disp=inline&zw[/img]
[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.2&disp=inline&zw[/img]
[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.3&disp=inline&zw[/img]
[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.4&disp=inline&zw[/img]

Good day,

We are looking for buyers of large quantities of Brazilian and Indian hair. We can supply high quality, non-shedding Brazilian and Indian wefted human hair in various styles and sizes to suit your needs.

Interested buyers can contact us on hairsistaz@gmail.com TODAY. We endeavour to respond to all emails within 24 hours of receiving them.



[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.1&disp=inline&zw[/img]
[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.2&disp=inline&zw[/img]
[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.3&disp=inline&zw[/img]
[img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d7370e1a87&view=att&th=128ef01163388243&attid=0.4&disp=inline&zw[/img]

Hello,

Does anyone know where feather bands are being sold in Nigeria and how much they are sold for? Thank you.

Hello,

Does anyone know where feather bands are being sold in Nigeria and how much they are sold for? Thank you.