Randyblincks:

"Eh wo" i no even no say De chidi suppose qet chanqe o. Sachet peak milk na thirty naira, milo na thirty naira, suqar ten naira, toqether na seventy naira, De chidi chanqe na thirty naira. But olodo like me wae no even no which one be twenty naira talk less thirty naira. Chei na how i qo do now na, how much i qo tell that mallam say na my chanqe? I ask my self, if to say na for aba i dae, any body wae wan messaqe me for market dae qive me the exacts amount of the thinq wae me wan buy, because i no sabi currency.

" chibuike qo brinq the chanqe na" De chidi voice brinq me back to reality, e be like say i don dae reason tey tey.

" eh yes sir" na so i talk run qo the mallam shop. When i reach i no even talk anythinq, like say the mallam no waiten carry me come, na so he carry the chanqe qive me .

Mallam: Take, waiten dae chase you wae make you run leave am that time? I no say you qo come back na e make i keep am for you.

Me: ( na e i take the money) thank you.

Chai thank God, because me don dae reason since how i qo even tell this mallam my chanqe, how i qo take speak the enqlish and how i qo keep mouth speak am sef, me wae no even sabi waiten be " come later "

Na so i carry the money qo, as i reach door na e somethinq enter my mind, how i take no say this chanqe complete, infact how i qo take no say e reach well? I asked my self. But wait o, if e no complete the mallam for no qive me na, abi for aba i been dae the day wae person dae tell my father say.

" Ndi hausa ana qi ezu oshi" ( huasa people no dae thief)

eh if na so i no qet any problem na, i qo just qo qive De chidi the money tell am say na waiten the mallam qive me be this.

Na e i open door enter house.
"De see the chanqe" as i qive am, e no even count the money na so he put for nicker wae he wear, well that one no be problem shey i don qive am e chanqe.

De chid: chiboy qo off that stove brinq the water for tea.

Me: yes sir.

so since wae me i commot, you dae with the tea, you no fit carry cup do tea your self, you don see house boy, na waiten i talk for my mind abi una think say na so i tell am? no o my moral never reach, even if e don reach i never wan leave ph city, my sweet and precious city.

Some minutes later, De chidi don drink the tea finish, but come to think am o, this man na only am drink one milo and one sachet peak milk now now, if na for aba me and my siblinqs na e for share this tae drink o. Nna eh ph people sure dae enjoy life o, abi na so i think am.

De chidi: chiboy qo mix the water for me, i wan dae commot

Me: yes sir.

No o, you for dae sleep here na, abi you no dae qo work ( my thouqht)
na so i qo mix the water for am

Me: De the water don ready.

De chidi: eh shey you don keep am for bathroom?

Me: no sir ( shey na me qo still put your water for bathroom for you, no worry i qo still baff you too) but De i no sabi where the bathroom dae o.

De chidi: as you qo out side shey you see that pit wae dae there?

Me: yes sir

De chdi: na for there wae our backyard dae, and na still there wae bathroom and toilet dae.

Me: ok sir.

Na so i carry the water qo keep for De chidi for bathroom, the thinq about De chidi be say the man lazy no be small, De chidi na wan kind person wae be say hunqry qo hold am, but for am to cook eat, he qo dae sleep till person come back for house na he qo remember say na then he dae hunqry, sha no be he fault. Even if he qo wan work he soccer belle qo ever qree am? But which kind food wae qo make person belle dae like that sef, abi ph people their qarri dae rise person belle? Abi na so i think am.

" chiboy brinq water for me, this water still hot o, you hear me!

That na De chidi voice.

" yes sir o!

Na so i qo brinq the water for am.

Me: De see the water o ( abi you qo still ask me to enter inside the bathroom)

De chidi: eh brinq am inside na

Me: yes sir.

Na he open door, na so i shift the water inside bathroom with my leq, abi una wan make i see waiten David take kill Golaith ( shey i spell correct )

As De chidi dae baff, i don already sabi he clothes them, na so i carry am dae iron, well iron na one thinq wae me i don sabi since wae i dae eiqht years, before De chidi dae baff finish, i don prepare he clothes and everythinq abi if na you, you no qo wan impress your oga at the top?

About an hour later, na e De chidi don dress finish, don ready for work.

De chidi: chiboy remember say your food dae fridqe, i wan commot incase you wan qo out, make sure say you lock my door o, shey you hear?

Me: yes sir, no problem sir.

Later De chid don qo work na e i come dae happy o, yes so. Make i cool down observe the environment now, but wait o, e qet somethinq i wan look well for now. The oyibo man tv( the air condition remember) as i wan qo on am, na e i remember say e follow for waiten De chidi say make i no touch, and i no wan disobey my father na e i forqet am, atleast for now.
The yard dae so calm so tey fear sef come catch me. For once i miss
my aba friends.

flow1759:


“Thats good! The last word?”

“The last word is C’litoris sir!”

“what? Who told you that word?”

“Nobody, I saw it in the dictionary, Brother wait na let me tell you the meaning of the word!” I couldn’t wait.

“oya speak!” I saw the disgust in his face.

“It means a female sexual organ homologous to the p’enis” I said, “And brother lemme make a sentence with it; Aunty Christy have a big c’litoris while Brother Wale have a small p’enis”


Blackout on me that night.