Business / Advice Needed by Iamthewatcher: 7:17pm On Jun 07, 2017 |
Pls fellow entrepreneurs on NL, I want to embark on a travel for importation of onions from Sokoto to Lagos. Who knows the costs, risks and profit margins involved? Thanks for your much anticipated advice and counsels |
Celebrities / Re: Seun Kuti Celebrates His 34th Birthday Today by Iamthewatcher: 8:45am On Jan 11, 2017 |
He's passionately towing the way his father went. For example, he doesn't believe in putting on boxers ![shocked](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/shocked.gif) |
Politics / Re: The Skullcap Nnamdi Kanu & His Partners Wore To Court Today (Photos) by Iamthewatcher: 5:08pm On Jan 10, 2017 |
What do we call this now? |
Family / Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Iamthewatcher: 1:40pm On Jan 04, 2017 |
wizzprince: sincerely this are one of the worst people to change
it is easier to change an atheist like seun than to change them
they are usually well behaved and people hardly see faults in them except you
talking from experience(not personal)
my advice is that she is your wife
study her
whatever she is good in try and support her
and focus on your kids
say no to divorce
my brother you're very correct. These type appear nice to outsiders and it's only you who knows their stubbornness. Every accusing finger will even be pointing towards you as if you're the one who doesn't want progress in the family. God will help the op. 1 Like |
Celebrities / Re: Toyin Lawani's Son, Tenor, Poses With Naija Policemen In Birthday Photos by Iamthewatcher: 9:43pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
maberry: This kid got more swag than most of the guys here on Nairaland what else do you expect? That's her mother's biz. She's doing advert. |
Celebrities / Re: Toyin Lawani's Son, Tenor, Poses With Naija Policemen In Birthday Photos by Iamthewatcher: 9:40pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
I hope this lady won't be wearing long sleeves all her live later. The boy is cute
Modified: Nigerian policemen, tip them and they play moonlight play with you but lock up... u know the rest |
Fashion / Re: Ifeanyi Ubah Disqualifies All Contestants At Most Beautiful Girl In Nnewi by Iamthewatcher: 9:07pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Schematics: Abagworo go and do something with your life than talking out of point everyday..
[s][/s] lol how did you know it's Abagworo ![](/faces/huh.png) |
Fashion / Re: Ifeanyi Ubah Disqualifies All Contestants At Most Beautiful Girl In Nnewi by Iamthewatcher: 9:05pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Fish brains. Only good at inventing evil and wickedness. 1 Like |
Crime / Re: Woman Arrested For Burning Half Sister With Hot Iron (Graphic Pic) by Iamthewatcher: 8:55pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
This is the only thing they champion : wickedness and inhumanity. Answer one single question you can't. You go to university and Bleep your way thru. I pity men in this indomie, and social media generation. 1 Like |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 4:12pm On Nov 01, 2015 |
jnrbayano:
Take care of this fundamental problem expressed in the embolden first.
"Cheating" is never a marriage clause under no circumstance. Ok, I got it |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 4:11pm On Nov 01, 2015 |
Olalan: Op I understand your fears, but I want to ask if after 2 years of dating her what has been the honest view about your family members and your friends about her? Do they approve about the relationship cause am sure they also see some of the flaws in her. Did you even put the place of God in this relationship, have you prayed about it? Cause the highlighted flaws about her might have been aggravated by your own standard of a future partner. my people have no problems with her cos of her good manners but I'm d one who knows so many other private things like d ones previously mentioned, about her. They seem not to have issues with her educational background since I'll still send her to school later. |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 4:06pm On Nov 01, 2015 |
jabojafa: to start with, dont ever date some1 u cant marry. At home she has d attributes of a wife n mother bt outside, she doesnt fit into the lady like kind of woman. And dt is a vry big blow to u. If u can be patient enof, marry her 1st, then send her to school but u may hv to delay havin children so d load wont be much. Am sure d university education/life wud transform her to d standard u want frm her. it's alright, I appreciate ur advice. |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 4:05pm On Nov 01, 2015 |
1 Like |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 4:01pm On Nov 01, 2015 |
Jahblessme: I would advice the lady to move on and forget you as this marriage will definitely turn into a nightmare for her in the not too distant future. She is an excellent person from all you write and i'm sure will find a man deserving of her,who even though will want her a bit more polished won't view her failings in this as such a huge deal.
Nothing you do will polish her to the extent you want..being 'local' from birth really has no cure.She will clean up a lot but will never be posh posh,so this your exercise in changing her to suit your taste is a waste. See all the changes you want her to implement just to suit you?How are you yourself?When you go out and see all them fly chicks who speak properly and know how to use a fish knife you'll start tormenting the poor woman. You are also stating that she will have to meet your standard so you won't cheat.I wonder how she feels having to jump so many hoops for a mere man?Very depressed i presume but will be smiling through it all.It wont get better ,you will be frustrated because you will always be correcting her and for her she will get irritated at having you sniping at her feet every second.
Nothing wrong in what you want,i just question your wisdom in embarking on changing a person completely and then giving conditions ontop.Go for someone who meets your approval,who wont be suffering through walking on eggshells in the bid to please you.The poor girl will definitely have a massive chip on her shoulder by the time you are through with her.
This union is dead on arrival,i suggest she leaves you for her future sanity.Yes it will hurt,but it will be better for her in the long run.But will you both listen? NO. I'm expecting stories that touch soon. Cheers!! alright, it won't come to the point of "stories that touch". While d advice keep coming in, I'll be examining and counter-examining my heart and decisions. TNX 1 Like |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 12:52pm On Nov 01, 2015 |
onegig: Who has English helped? Has speaking phoney helped the marriages of those ladies with toothpick legs?
There are more important things than all what you have listed and those things she has graciously passed as you attested to.
She has shown she is willing to learn and has put in effort to do so with positives. So what else do you want?
You seem young and inexperienced to understand that nothing trumps the inner beauty which this lady exudes. Do what you feel is right. It's your call. bro, I'm not so young but you're right when you say I'm inexperienced cos every bachelor or intending family man is still inexperienced until you enrol in the game. All the same I'm satisfied with ur contribution. Tnx a lot 3 Likes |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 12:46pm On Nov 01, 2015 |
jnrbayano: You said she is a "wife material"
You want to marry a wife.
You love "refined material"
Now, if you can answer these questions honestly, you will quickly come out of your dilemma.
1. On what basis do you hinge your priority?
2. Can a wife material later become a refined material?
3. Can a refined material later become a wife material? on d basis of a wife, I hinge my priority but remember that for me not to cheat on her later, she should be a compatible companion and best friend to me in order not to give me that space. I see where you are headed in d 2nd & 3rd que. This will be my last hope. Only if she will pick up fast and get refined along the way as we journey together. My indecision and fear arose from d snail-speed at which d refining is going. But I honestly prefer a wife to a refined material. Maybe I'm too greedy and want d best of both worlds. |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 12:32pm On Nov 01, 2015 |
flyca:
From the way you sound (the imbalance is too obvious), I will advise that you free this lady. There are ladies who are will suit your taste better: literate, younger, pretty, wife and motherly material etc. They abound. You just need to search properly.
Eh... on another note, a lady who has invested 2 years of her life in a relationship will obviously be heart broken. And I feel really sorry for her. But the earlier the better. I pray someone that loves, appreciates and accepts her will come for her - soon u started ds advice on a decisive note and concluded on an emotional note. 7 Likes |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 12:27pm On Nov 01, 2015 |
madgoat: kk omo which one be kk nah wen ur guy dey hustle advice front & back. E be lyk u no grab wetin ur guy dey pass thru. 1 Like 2 Shares |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 12:11pm On Nov 01, 2015 |
flyca: OP, you sound like you are perfect yourself. Do you honestly think this lady likes and accepts everything about you? My point is: she doesn't rub your flaws on your face. If you have to always rub hers on her face as you said, "abusing her", pls let her go. She deserves better. I'm far from perfect but the imbalance is just too obvious. But for d wifely and motherly qualities I saw in her, I would have concluded her case a long time ago but I'm still holding on patiently. honestly dear, I abhor d use of abusive words for anybody not to talk of her. It only happens when d heat becomes overpowering and it seems to me the task of brushing her up is becoming so uphill. I honestly don't think I want to let her go but just d lil confusion in my head pushed me into bringing ds issue here to get it thrashed once and for all with the help of great and experienced minds in this forum. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 11:58am On Nov 01, 2015 |
Chubhie: You have to instil discipline into her through example.
Once she can read and write, she's literate. Learn her local language or broken for effective communication.
Start taking her on early morning jogs and sit ups and she would sweat up the extra fats. Let her know she's free to eat all the junks she likes as long as she's ready to put in the jogs. Nobody would tell her to fall in line.
About her not so good mouth aroma, teach her top notch personal hygiene.
And as per feeling inferior, bring yourself down to her level once you are with her. All those your self aggrandizement,shoulder highs ends the moment you step into your house with her. She deserves an exclusive right to that part of you with flaws and raw free from peoples judgments.
Relationship takes hard work to nurturing into something extra ordinary. You would be amazed on how she's turns out in few years time. All depends on who you are. I love working with raw materials.
All her mentioned flaws are workable. Lastly, on the age difference you should know that with the right exercise,food,love and care a woman can age gracefully. Good luck. If I were you I would marry her off today toay. She seems honest to discuss her flaws with you. great advice. Tnx a whole lot man |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 1:11am On Nov 01, 2015 |
fem29: Please do not marry her. You have a lot of doubts about her. As far as I am concerned some of them are insurmountable. Do not marry someone that you have to change drastically. Can you live with her as she is if she doesn't change all these things you do not like.
In the end you will end up treating her bad and even beating her. Already you are shouting abuses at her. Let her go. ok tnx lady 1 Like 1 Share |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 1:05am On Nov 01, 2015 |
Caracta:
According to you, she is very respectful. I think that covers the age gap.
IMO, she is a good lady. Many would give anything to have a wife with those qualities even if she cannot write letter O with a bottle. Most importantly, she has to love you enough to see the future with you and agree to the changes.
Would she make you happy, proud and at peace even without good command of English and proper education (let's assume the approach failed)? If not, please marry a Professor. yea I have peace wt her but for those mentioned drawbacks. |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 1:00am On Nov 01, 2015 |
Caracta:
According to you, she is very respectful. I think that covers the age gap.
IMO, she is a good lady. Many would give anything to have a wife with those qualities even if she cannot write letter O with a bottle. Most importantly, she has to love you enough to see the future with you and agree to the changes.
Would she make you happy, proud and at peace even without good command of English and proper education (let's assume the approach failed)? If not, please marry a Professor. ok, ur funny shaa |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 12:02am On Nov 01, 2015 |
sulmeza: it's obvious from ur writeup u're actually looking 4 a perfect lady,which u can neva get.....she's even honest enuf to show u her flaws b4 marriage....if ur post's anything to go by,u've got a superb wife material on ur hands...dnt throw it away.....peace I sincerely appreciate ur contribution bro but nobody is saying something about d age gap. 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 11:58pm On Oct 31, 2015 |
Gaborone: There're compatibility issues here that I don't think should be ignored. Amos 3 v 3: Can two walk together unless they agree?
I sincerely think one should get married to someone who can they can 'go' with on life's journey.
Pastor Sam Adeyemi preached on the topic, "Growing Together" about 3months ago, and the crux of the whole message was that one should never allow his/spouse/partner leave him/her behind. What he meant was that, if your partner is growing academically, start making efforts at growing academically too. If your partner is growing intellectually, spiritually, etc, catch up too, because any imbalance might lead to resentment, and one partner being out of place in the other's life.
Now, be very honest with yourself...can you brush her up to become intellectually and socially compatible with you? Should you fail at that, would you be okay if she is unable to play certain roles which your nature of work/lifestyle/plans/circle of friends and contacts may demand of her as your wife in future. Will you be ashamed of her, or embarrased by her grammatical errors in public? Will you be able to take it? Can her not-so-refined ways lead to resentment and irritation from you in future?
I'm sorry about the barrage of questions, but I feel only you can decide on this, same way I feel the answers to those questions would serve as a pointer to you, on the next step to take.
Wish you the best. you've got a point that's also part of d reason I put up ds piece. She's picking up slowly on d use of english but she just need a thorough education even as I'll like her to be a nurse. D ish is dt I'm caught up in between d merits and d demerits. Tnx all the same for ur humble contribution. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 11:25pm On Oct 31, 2015 |
RobinHez:
Its what u guys were supposed to be doing during courtship period na ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png)
Anyways..put marriage on hold first, and map out a plan to make her who u want her to be...
Be ready to court her for anoda lengthy period ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) ok tnk u bro 2 Likes |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 11:18pm On Oct 31, 2015 |
Cutehector: If u no wan marry am, gime make I marry jor.. haha, easy nah. Shaa, I'll take that as a go-ahead to marry her...lol 14 Likes 3 Shares |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 11:15pm On Oct 31, 2015 |
RobinHez: And why are u just considering all these things now![](/faces/huh.png) my guy I don't want a divorce on grounds of irreconcilable incompatibility. I want to take a final decision and get paired. 13 Likes 1 Share |
Romance / Re: A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 11:12pm On Oct 31, 2015 |
mioltai: well u outlined 7 positves and 4 negatives here bro.7-4=3 bro. besides after grooming her for years nw ,u are nw avin second thoughts.u want another man to reap where he did not sow while u go back to square 1 wit dose indomie and egg babes my gud bro that's d issue. I discovered that these girls walking the streets can't even prepare common indomie. I went in to a restaurant to eat indomie and what the young girl prepared was tasting as if she mixed d tasteless noodles with raw egg. I only ate the fried egg with some fried plantain I bought and had to pay without even touching the indomie. 31 Likes 4 Shares |
Romance / A fellow Nairalander needs your advice before crossing the rubicon. by Iamthewatcher: 10:55pm On Oct 31, 2015 |
I met my fiancee some few yrs ago. I've agreed to marry her but there are factors I still want to give a final consideration before signing the dotted lines. These are:
1. She is not literate but willing to go to school. I never dreamt of marrying an illiterate when I, myself is a graduate. Her waec result is nothing to write home about. In fact she wasted her time in secondary school as far as I'm concerned and when I asked her why she was such an olodo, she quickly blamed those she lived with. She said because she was more or less a maid then, she hadn't much time for her studies and that's why she failed woefully. When I met her, her use of english was zero and I had to exert much effort to bring her to the level where she could converse freely with me at least in english. She retook her ssce and credited all subjects except math.
2. She's 2yrs and 3months older than me. Some argue that a woman will age first when older and that's the reason men go for younger women or at worst, their age mates.
3: She sometimes feel inferior to me cos' of my literacy and polished way of going about my stuff.
4. She has a fat tummy. This I perceived to be an upshot of her eating habit before I met her. Can you believe that it was when I started staying close to her that I discovered that she doesn't drink water after eating. Maybe she does that very much later. She was an expert in devouring meat with her friends and never exercised. I also had to teach her to drink water first thing in the morning before taking breakfast. I discovered that her mouth was always dry as a result of this disgusting lifestyle. If she wants to have a word with me in low tone, I do perceive some offensive odours from the mouth sometimes. All this are changing slowly now cos' a damage of so many years can't just be corrected overnight. I'm putting much effort into rearing her cos' she's a wife material.
There are one or two other drawbacks I won't like to go into now as the aforementioned factors are the ones that baffle me the most. I sometimes get so annoyed and start abusing her. But she also has her good sides that even attracted me to her which are: 1. She is well-mannered. 2. She can cook very well. 3. She is very hospitable. 4. She's very respectful. 5: She's pretty and fair. 6. She's a wife material. 7. She's reserved.
The crux here is that we are presently, not on the same page as far as being learned and refined is concerned and I want to marry someone who'll be very refined as well. Though we stay as friends but I feel she doesn't measure up. So my people, if you were in my shoes, can you go ahead and marry her despite these bad sides?? Pls and pls, helpful comments will suffice. 18 Likes 5 Shares |