THUNDAR:


He is calling me a young man and am laughing in broken English!

I would love to just strike you now but, let me do press up

Old man, buy from wer it plizes u.

durentsneh:
Chai. The beginning of the cucumbola virus.

it's actually cucumbiasis

THUNDAR:
Oga Jumia who you epp


so jumia do not regulate prices because I have a phone to sell I can just put any price I like Abi

CONTINUE

yung man, it's competition. Buy from werever it plizies u

U r contradicting urself yngman. U don't sound like u rili wnt to cry or is it 'ghen, ghen, ghen' u do wen crying?

franklyn00:
Guys I feel so bad cry cry, cos the temptation was too much, here's how it happened.........

My dad has been ill for over 3 months, he had an accident with fractured wounds but he is recovering, my family had to move to the hospital, so we have bn tending to him on a daily basis....to cut the long Mata short, this hospital has hot and sexy nurses...shuu!

Nna mehnn...everyday I flirt with everyone of them, but there is this particular one that always gave me this "cum and [romance] me" look mehn, the one and only big problem was that she is married (a forbidden fruit), Na she cum fine pass, fresh pass, sexy pass....OMG!, I couldn't resist so I collected her number and we started from decent chats like "how is ur family?, take good care of ur husband" to "I feel like __ hmmmmmm".

It got so intense that we had to choose a date for our Champions league match grin, so we picked today.

I went to her house and as a sharp guy b4 leaving, I bought a pack of durex condom.
On getting there it was a two-storey building and she was living in one of the flats, I cum dey fear make none of her neighbors code our mission.

As we enter house, she first go on generator, kon on dstv dey show Africa magic (the channel u see in most Nigerian homes...eeeww) undecided, then as the guy, I made the badoo move

I held her hands and was complimenting her on how soft it was while __ kissing it, she started __softly, so I pulled her towards me and then...ghen ghen!, the main action started

After the action film ended, she showed me her wedding photos, it felt awkward and weird to me
As in Why re you showing me this?

Did i do anything wrong?

#palmgossip

ebosie11:
PHOTO OF THE WEEK!

After just 2 days in rehabilitation, our Chibok Schoolgirls are looking wonderful. Thanks to the Almighty God, the Federal Government, and all those who played a role in their release and rehabilitation.

The guy in the middle is Senator Ali Ndume (Borno South).

Photo Credit to: Muhammed Hussain.


Source: http://www.trezzyhelm.com/2016/10/check-out-new-look-of-released-chibok.html?m=1

From what is c, it's like dey hv been meeting before and I perceive dey r only bringing to limelight what dey hv bn doing in secret.

Dey were taken away as girls and return as women. Kabiesi o

cherrycyn90:
s no longer news that Nigeria is in recession now. Things are going from bad to worse e.g Companies closing up, workers losing their jobs, food is also scarce too now our darling GALA has also been affected by the change.


SEE MORE PICTURES >> http://www.enzyhub.com/change-has-finally-affected-gala-see-what-i-found-inside-gala-pics/

CC: lalasticlala

repackage and return (if u hv d warranty in place). I guess na manufacturers fault

Bigajeff:
What do you think about this innovation? Keke Napep or Marwa with full air conditioner option. hit or miss?

Are Nigerians patient enof to use dis one? We prefer d one we can jump in n out wen we get to our destination. No tym to open door.

balatukur:
The news of President Muhammadu Buhari
seeking emergency powers to reflate the
economy went gaga on the social media,
yesterday.
The emergency powers, according to
President Buhari and his economic team
will only last for one year.
According to the plan, the government is
expected to send an Executive Bill to the
National Assembly for Executive orders to
tackle the economic crisis.
The objectives of the action-plan on the
economy, which is in recession, include
shoring up the value of the naira, creation
of more jobs, boosting of foreign reserves,
reviving the manufacturing sector and
improving power.
Here are 7 things Nigerians need to know
about the president's request for
emergency powers to stimulate the
economy - by seeking to by-pass major
extant laws that may stand in as
bottlenecks.
1. More Funds for State Governments
The bill seeks to amend certain laws, such
as the Universal Basic Education (UBE)
Act 2004.
The UBE Act states in section 11, sub-
section 2, that “for any State to qualify for
the federal government block grant
pursuant to sub-section (1) of this section,
such State shall contribute not less than
50% of the total cost of projects as its
commitment in the execution of the
project”.
With most states cash-strapped, the bill
seeks to overrule this section, and allow
states access about N58 billion “stuck” in
UBEC’s coffers.
If the bill sails through, interested states
would have N58 billion to spend through
this economic crisis.
Analysts believed the proposal to review
the UBEC Laws will surely help to unlock
the liquidity, which the associated
spending will provide.
2. Boosting Foreign Reserves
Nigeria’s foreign exchange reserves fell to
an 11-year low on August 19, 2016,
standing at $25.7billion.
With such depleting reserves, following a
plunge in crude oil prices, the government
is seeking to get emergency powers to sell
and/or lease government property to raise
$50 billion to shove the reserves.
3. End to Forex Crisis – Strengthening of
Nation's Currency
With reserves in good shape, it would
become immediately easier for the Central
Bank of Nigeria (CBN) to defend the naira,
and shore up its value in the face of
dwindling oil prices.
A vote for this bill by the national
assembly, should lead to a stronger naira
against the dollar, an end to forex scarcity,
and some stimulation in the Nigerian
economy.
4. Job Opportunities
According to the Nigerian Bureau of
Statistics report for the past three
quarters, at least 1.5 million Nigerians
have become unemployed.
The president and his team promised
employment, and had not effectively
delivered on that.
However, with the new bill, funds will be
allotted for many capital projects, which
will in turn generate employment.
With states having access to the UBE fund
as stated in the bill, the school feeding
programme of this administration may kick
off and create employment in Nigeria’s
vibrant informal sector.
5. Reducing Bureaucracy
The Nigerian procurement act has been
reported time and again as cumbersome,
stalling the speed of implementation of
government projects.
This bill seeks to also “support stimulus
spending on critical sectors of the
economy; make orders to favour local
contractors/suppliers in contract awards”
6. Flexible Visa Process
Nigeria is desperate for foreign investment;
foreign portfolio investment had declined
by 86 percent in the past year, while
foreign direct investment had plummeted
by over 50 percent.
Osinbajo, who confirmed this at a
presidential policy dialogue in Lagos, said
the government was working on policies
aimed at reducing fiscal and forex
imbalances, boosting dollar liquidity,
lending to the real sector, and increasing
“FDIs and FPI by sustaining enabling
policies”.
The bill, according to reports, seeks “to
embark on radical reforms in visa issuance
at Nigeria’s consular offices and on arrival
in the country”.
This visa process, similar to that of the
United Arab Emirates (UAE) and Ghana’s
newly-adopted system, is to ensure ease
of movement by investors into Nigeria.
7. Ease of Doing Business
Nigeria has lagged many developing
countries on the ease of doing. The
bottlenecks are enormous, the laws are
strenuous, the tax policies are repetitive.
The bill seeks to address some of these
issues and improve the ease of doing
business in Nigeria.
The office of the vice president, when
contacted, neither confirmed nor denied,
the existence of the bil. https://www.nigerianbulletin.com/threads/emergency-power-7-things-every-nigerian-should-know-about-buharis-request.220192/

When oil business was booming, states squandered resources and now, it's UBEB resources dey seek to live on? We say 'NO'.

2. What led to depletion of foreign reserve? Unless d economy is diversified to earn more foreign exchange, we can't help it. Recently, the govt went searching for oil in d north. Preaching agriculture n practising oil? We refuse to be deceived.

3. The proposed end to forex xchange is vague. Convince us more as we don't c any end in ur story.

4. When oil was @ all tym high, capital projects were abandoned. How much do u intend to realise from d lease of govt asset? Diversify the economy and stop dis cook n bull story.

5. Don't tell us abt bureaucracy. If majority of govt officials and law makers are from same party, then there should be no bureaucracy. They shld sit down and communicate more. What I c there is lots of hidden agenda and we say 'NO'.

6. Bravo! What is the level of electricy being generated? No light, no security, politics is unstable, etc. Which investor wan come? Be careful o. We refused to b deceived.

7. According to my pastor friend, e nor easy for Ezekiel if not e for dey for new testament. We acknowledge the good TSA has done but you will testify of the many ills and the multiplier effect on business.

In my own opinion, the govt shld diversify the economy, improve agricultural practises, develop local content. Look inward and change things for the better.

where is the diversification of Nigerian economy we are clamouring for? Change inwords

chie8:
It is official.Exploration of oil has started in North East Nigeria.

Details later

Image credit:Sallau

Source: http://www.trezzyblog.com/2016/08/exploration-begins-north-east.html

U dey joke.

Beamborla:
you married her not her boobs...

What if she hid her breast to test your love for her?
After all, guys do all sort of annoying and dehumanizing things all in the name of testing

Moreover, marriage is for better and for worse...


Keep the loving burning

Adesiji77:


http://nairametrics.com/possible-mergers-and-takeovers-that-can-save-troubled-nigerian-banks/

This OP and nairametrics team r sometin else. 'wrongest' analysis. Nairametrics sit down dey talk rubbish, OP begin broadcast. Na only problem wey nor dey exist una dey c.
------WebKOcpBB0z
Content-Disposition: form-data; name="follow"

on

mimima:
skye bank is the best,has an account called skye global,accounts designed for Nigerians in diaspora.You can open it online.and their internet banking is user friendly.They don't use token rather they use OTP (one time password).

I concur to mimima. The otp will be sent to you registered email address since u r nt in Nigeria. Buy this idea and comment with a 'thank you' later.

Well done.


Who and how do we report PHCN for taking the light without notice?

economia:

Yesterday, like thousands of GTBank current account customers, I woke up to an unwelcome, ill-timed gift which arrived in this format:

"Desc: SI TRANSACTION (DIFFERENT CUSTOMERS)-GeNS CHARGE FOR 26NOV2015-06JAN2016."

It appeared that I and others had been once again, unexplainably robbed debited of our hard-earned money. At the last count, I counted over 50 complaints on Twitter (to which GTB typed out the generic response: "Enter our DMs"wink and I have been boiling ever since.

What does "Different Customers" even mean, and how does it qualify as a reason to charge whatever the hell they like, right in the middle of a month and without any warning? The most annoying thing about this is that this charge has come in addition to a separate, unspecified charge for November - December. I mean, how can you justify this sort of repeated financial rape from a body that should be begging for your services? Are they shoring up my hard-earned money for an inevitable "MTN style" fine, or now that the CBN directive has abolished Commission on Turnover charges, is this their new money making scheme?

Either way, this is unacceptable and if these banks won't do the right thing, it is about time we the customers make them sit up and realise we pay their fucking salaries. With the current state of the economy, we cannot sit back and let these guys continue to screw us over and act like they are doing us a favour while doing so. Some of the bank staff even have a misplaced sense of sovereignty over our rights as customers, so it's up to us to educate them on how to treat customers.

This year, let us use the little we have to change our situation.

What is little known to the public is that the CBN will listen to customer complaints, as long as the complaints are lodged using their guidelines. So let's do this. If you've been affected, it won't take much of your time, plus I will make this as easy and pain-free as possible in 2 easy steps. However, I will need your commitment to join us in complaining by following the steps below. This is our money and most of all, this is our country and for the sake of our children, we the people must salvage it from the hands of those who want to create a culture of intimidation. Let's do this.

What are the CBN guidelines for lodging complaints about banks?

Step 1. Lodge a complaint with your bank in-branch, and give them 2 weeks to respond. I would suggest first backing yourself up by sending your complaint via email in advance. What you are after is a confirmation that your e-mail has been received and is being dealt with (you will need this if you need to proceed to step 2). If you do get a confirmation, print it out and make a photocopy. Now, you can take a copy of your complaint letter the bank branch.

Below is a free guidance template you can download and adjust to your taste before taking to the bank.

(Downloadable from: http://www.mrpepe.com/banking/how-to-complain-to-the-cbn-about-unethical-bank-charges/)

According to a 2011 CBN circular, all banks are required to provide a consumer complaint help desk and/or expand their ATM help desk to deal with all kinds of complaints. Before you take your complaint to the branch, ensure that you take a photocopy, and ask someone to stamp this to confirm that the branch has received your complaint.

Step 2. If the bank fails to address your complaint after 2 weeks, escalate it to the CBN's consumer protection department. Please note that you cannot escalate the issue without lodging a complaint with your bank first, so please follow the steps as prescribed.

Here is a free template letter you can adjust to suit your taste.

Letter of complaint escalation template to CBN downloadable from http://www.mrpepe.com/banking/how-to-complain-to-the-cbn-about-unethical-bank-charges/

Please personalise this as much as you can, so that it doesn't look like you just copied it word for word off the internet. Then send to the CBN by email and then by post.

Here are contact details for the CBN:

E-mail: cpd@cbn.gov.ng

Letter: Director, Consumer Protection Department, Central Business District, Abuja

Your letter of complaint should be addressed to the Director, Consumer Protection Department. You can submit your letter at the CBN Head Office or at any of of their nationwide branches.

Lagos branch:

Tinubu Square, Lagos, Nigeria. PMB 12194. +(234) 01 2660100, 2660934, 2660624, 2660647

Abuja branch:

Zaria street, Garki II, Nigeria. PMB 0187, Garki, Abuja. +(234) 09 2342132-4, 234332-6, +(234) 09 23435363

Port-Harcourt branch:

2 Bank Road, Nigeria - P.M.B. 5134 Port Harcourt. +(234) 231019, +(234) 084 230539

Some more CBN guidelines to support your complaint:

Your complaint should be clear and concise to avoid ambiguity. The Complaint letter (petition) should contain amongst other things the following:

Name, Address, Contact Phone Number & E-mail of the Complainant;
Name of your Financial Institution;
Personal banking details (Do NOT include PIN & Passwords, pleasewink
History/Date of the transaction in dispute;
Amount claimed (if any)
Attach relevant documents to support you claim and
Evidence to show that you have first lodged the complaint at your bank.
Wait for a response, and follow up if you hear nothing after 2 weeks. Please let me know of your progress in the comments section, let's keep this open an transparent. All the best!

Source: http://www.mrpepe.com/banking/how-to-complain-to-the-cbn-about-unethical-bank-charges/

750?

My advice is dat where ever you are, see everything as a tool needed for you to execute your job perfectly. If anything is missing, ur tools are not complete.

Congrats to you @ op. I share in your joy and i say 'thanks' to God for this new beautiful thing. Pls, share the pix and let the lughter continue. Yipeeeee!!!

Still available

Edoblakky:
I can't vouch for any bank. That's why I've reduced my accounts to only 2. I went to gtb to open a dom account for dollars, pounds and euros and they gave me a form to fill. In the form I was asked if I operate a gtb account to which I filled yes. They collected the form from me and told me it will be scanned and sent to my branch in PH. That was how I waited adinfinitum and the accounts were not opened. I had to give another filled form to a friend travelling to PH to submit before the accounts were opened. What a manual bank! There was also a time I was in Florence, Italy for a training and needed to transfer cash to my wife using First bank token. Omon, na so dem block my token say I entered invalid codes. I spent over 3 days calling and sending mails before my token was unblocked. Banks in Nigeria are not ready or prepared to handle financial challenges. We use them because we have no other option!

So sorry for the inconvenience. I'l recommend skye bank to you. Being a Nigerian, u can open an account online which u can operate outside Nigeria. They call it skye global. Just go to www.skyebankng.com, den click on the 'open account' option and finally select 'skye global'

publicenemy: which kind rough play be that na?


unless she is absolutely incapacitated.

frm d way u sound, u won't even go visit her if she's incapacitated. I trust u'l quite d relationship. If she's a wife, u'l ask her siblings to come take her to d village.

Please, when will part time pgd commence? Or can a 2:1 graduate in Economics education enrol for masters in social science/economics?

Good evening fellow people. Nice thread, I'm interested.

Good evening friends. Pls, I need info on pgd for unibrn. A good hearted fellow pls help. U can send me a request on bb via 2B49DA00. I'd appreciate, thanks

Good day friends. I need info on pgd in delsu. I dnt hv d slightest idea hw to go abt it. A good frnd, pls help. Thanks

Do you need a piece of land to set up a business, factory, poultry or a residential home near the Osubi airstrip in Delta state, den contact me on 08063510236

In this and more, amen. Exceeding grace!

Pls, forward to 'rubyno2013@gmail.com'. Tnx