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Nairaland Forum / Jade001's Profile / Jade001's Posts
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I'll try to make this as simple as possible! I am a single father, presently seeing a single mother. As I believe it should be, we both shared events that led to our individual Marital breakdown, and relationships after. I only dated 2 within my one year of divorce(had intimacy with one and ended the second during talking stage). She told me hers were two within TWO and HALF yrs of divorce( One ended because of genotype and the other wouldn't marry a single mum). Fast forward after doing my background check very well. I discovered she had actually slept with SEVEN( Two married, 1 single father, 2 single guys and 2 FWB) within 21/2yrs of divorce(alot for me to handle though) This she opened up after series of lies and manipulations and WAR, and when she took me to a Pastor and the pastor said we are good to go, but some of her friends would come and tell me rumors about her that I shouldn't be bothered. So, I had to press her till she opened up some... then, later, others! My issue now is she is always receiving calls and msgs from men home and abroad(behind me, cos she wouldn'tpick in my presence and her phone is always on silence). She had blocked alot(she said about 70 and I'm like wow... later she said some females friends inclusive), but the calls wouldn't stop coming. Infact, she still keep contacts of people she has had stuffs with. She deleted all(supposedly), but I discovered she still keep the contact of one of the FWB(They had it twice in his house), now blocked too! I couldn't just come to terms with how she seems to be the only female with many male friends(believe me when I say many). Obviously, she willing to settle down, but it's like some forces are really messing with her head. Took my time to tell her this isn't healthy... as she mistakenly slept with 2 of her friends already... Just to avoid further events she should stop male friends, but she is always giving excuses for some. Spoke to her mum about it too, and she said whe would change that it is gradual, that she will never cheat in our marriage! My second issue with her is she is too aggressive. Infact, we had many heated arguments that I ended slapping her on two occasions before she became calm. Bad mouth, almost giving me headbutt, locking and tearing my knickers, spoiling my door... and If I couldn't bear any more I slap her to reset her brain(anytime I discover her lies, she will start wahala). I am not a woman beater, but I can conveniently make case for some men that women brought the beast out of them. On a night she told me either she kills me or I kill her. I had to beg so she wouldn't kill me overnight. I only called her a liar and she began her aggression as usual, raising her voice to high heavens, disturbing my neighbors, abusing me... before I slapped her.(I am afraid the slap is the medicine, which i can't continue to do) Spiritually she is good, I've prayed and saw good dreams about her. But, the aggression and men issue is killing me. My fear is won't she cheat on me in our marriage and won't we end up as a royal rumble couples as she is too aggressive and unapologetic. She could keep to herself as long as she wants(whenever we have issues), but I am the lovey dovey type. I end up appeasing her to come to me at every issue. She only begs and cries back to me after a day or two(Note: She wouldn't even admit her wrongs, she will only cry that why am I particular about her past. I'm always like but there are still in our present, until you do away with them completely(No chatting/calling, even with male friends of these men o)! We've both seen our parents and getting married soon, as I've already proposed to her! She and her family also wants me to keep and take care of her child, when the father is hale and hearty and balling. I have custody of mine, because I want my ex to have freedom to get herself and start life again without any burden or responsibility(mutually agreed). The guy is always facetiming the child, but when is time for responsibilities, he comes up with different excuses, obviously he has the money, but only playing smart. Thanks for your time! |
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