Thank you tbowens and SwtNsoFlyy! I really appreciate you! I joined Nairaland to learn more about the Nigerian culture. Unfortunately, I have encountered people like Leilah, who take the enjoyment out of the experience. I guess it's true, Misery really does like company.

Thanks for the encouragement tnikkibowens! I will certainly communicate with you on Yahoo. This will actually be my last post in this forum,

Leilah,
You obviously have my posts confused with someone else, so I would suggest you read all of the posts in their entirety before responding and criticizing. First of all, I am an African American woman, I am not white! I only agreed with another post about the sex being great, and I only commented "hmmm" to the other person who made the statement about Naija men marrying older women. I would never say that, as I have no experience on that subject. My man has his papers. I could go on and on about the positive aspects of my relationship with my man, as there are many other things to say. For one he is extremely intelligent, ambitious and focused; something I rarely find in men period. We both have advanced degrees and I am currently pursuing my PhD. He encourages me constantly, and motivates me to the best me I can be. We have similar ideas about the type of life and lifestyle we would like to share. We can talk about anything on most any level, and I can't say that for a lot of men. He makes me laugh, and he really makes me feel like the woman I am. We enjoy each other's company whether we're relaxing at home or going out for the evening. We take exotic vacations together and he really likes to show me he values me as a person and the relationship that we have. Yes, I am a great cook, a fact I am very proud of. I didn't know how to cook these dishes, but I learned and that says a lot. Many non-African women do not take the time to embrace the Nigerian culture (which includes learning to cook the foods), and they wonder why these relationships do not work out. Whether you choose to believe it or not, cooking is very important, as well as nurturing your family in general. Sex is not everything, however, it too is an important aspect of any relationship and marriage. This is an open forum, and EVERYONE should feel free to express themselves without being criticized. I thought that was the whole purpose of the forum. Just so you know I am a very decent, educated, strong, black sista, and I ALWAYS think before I speak.

Hello, You have been dating this gentleman for 10 years now? Wow, I too am dating a Nigerian gentleman, but I would never consider dating ANYONE (American or not) for that length of time. Have you and your son met his family? Has he ever mentioned having anything more than dating (like marriage perhaps)? I think any relationship has it's issues, and the success of the relationship will depend on whether you are equally committed to being in the relationship. I happen to believe that whatever is meant to be will be, I hope everything works out for you,

awwww, Thank you! One of my good friends is also married to a Nigerian man, and they are extremely happy. I hope things work out between us as well. He's a great guy!

Yes he does. We have discussed it several times. He knows I am open to adoption or other means of having children. I just don't know how "accepted" these methods are in the Nigerian culture. The issue definitely causes some insecurities on my part, even though he has said it is not an issue.

Thanks "Almondjoy"

I live in the US (Atlanta), and I cannot have children. He doesn't need papers, as he has been here in the US for quite some time. He even has family here, and he has been employed for 9 years with his current company. We talk a lot, and I feel we know each other very well. It is a relationship like no other relationship I have ever been involved in. He really makes me feel like a Queen and I try to make sure he understands he is my King. I'm open to the challenge of the relationship and getting to know his family. I guess I'm just a little nervous about the initial meeting and wanted to know what to expect. Life is a gamble, and I know you must take chances in life and I'm willing to do that. I guess we'll just have to see what happens!

African men only marry older women for papers. Hmmmm. I'll have to think about that one. Well, I'm new here, and I'm not sure what you mean by "older". I'm only a few (3) years older, and I attribute this to the fact that most African men are a lot more mature than their American counterparts. I have been reading and researching a lot about Nigerian culture, and I have become very intrigued by everything I've read. I decided to join this forum in hopes I would learn more, and in turn, can make an educated decision about whether I should continue in this relationship. When I met my mate it was only for friendship, as I was not interested in being in a serious relationship at the time. The truth of the matter is, I was afraid because of past hurts and disappointments. Nevertheless, that was a year ago and today we are doing pretty good. Sure, we have our issues, every relationship does. I have read the posts, and I see so many of these things in my mate. He's very caring, romantic, sensual, intelligent, etc. However, he has moments where he is very self-absorbed and not very attentive. He is Igbo, and I haven't encountered any of the selfishness discussed here as far as sex is concerned. The sex is amazing for us. I make sure he's satisfied, and he does the same, consistently. I have not introduced him to my family, and I have not met his friends and family up to this point. He has met a few of my friends and my aunt, though these meetings were not planned. We have discussed this several times, and this was something we agreed on. My concern is that I wanted to make sure this was a relationship that was viable before introducing him to my family. I'm sure he has similar concerns. He has asked me if I want to meet his family, and I plan to do so this Christmas. I was wondering if anyone can help me with what I should expect when I meet his parents and his family. Also, we have discussed my inability to have children and we are okay with it. However, I was reading something last night that said sterile women are not highly regarded in Nigeria, ? I have really educated myself, and I made sure he understands I am willing to embrace his culture. I prepare various African dishes (Egusi Soup, Okra Soup, Hen Stew, jelloff rice, etc), and we love each other. He's told me many times he loves me and he explained he does not take those words lightly. I'm hoping I will learn more about the relationship and our chances by the end of the year.